My Goddess English Teacher

Sexual urges are the second most primal instinct in nature, after hunger. At certain times, they can be so intense that they are irresistible. I don't know how many people can perfectly control them; those who can barely coexist peacefully with them are already incredibly impressive. I, for one, am easily overwhelmed by them. This is the excuse I prepared beforehand.

In college, I was a complete loser—bad at pursuing girls, broke, and academically weak. I liked a few girls, but I couldn't even talk to them properly. In my eyes back then, they were incredibly intelligent, understood all the complexities of the world, and could see through all the dirty thoughts of boys—almost like goddesses. That's probably what a goddess is. Unfortunately, I was so naive back then, thinking that liking a girl was simply liking her, and using the word "pursue" was a defilement of that liking. I was both insecure and foolish. So I never had a girlfriend. However, during my adolescence, I was always burning with desire, like a walking cannon, ready to burst at any moment. When browsing the internet in the library, the worst thing was seeing a picture of someone in a swimsuit suddenly appear on a webpage—and there were so many back then. Just one glance was enough to make my blood boil, my eyes glaze over, my face flush, and my heart race. I'd either click through with trembling hands or force myself to close it. That kind of pain… I wish I could go through it all again. The most embarrassing thing happened during an English class during that time.

The English teacher was a young and beautiful woman who had just gotten married during her first year teaching our class. She was very outgoing and spoke very frankly. As a slacker, all I cared about was the female teacher; as for what she taught, all I learned was to sleep. There was usually a few minutes for Q&A after class. That day, one button on her blouse was undone. During the Q&A, she stood on the podium, leaning back naturally, and thus, her cleavage was completely exposed. How exposed? One of her peaks was snow-white and full, not only the body of the blouse trembling, but also the graceful summit was fully visible. It was truly a feast for the eyes. Many classmates, both boys and girls, probably noticed. I was included too. Even now, recalling it makes me cringe. But the most embarrassing part was that I was the one who stepped in. I was the epitome of awkwardness, picking up my English textbook and walking up to the podium. Ugh... so embarrassing...

Several boys and girls were surrounding her asking questions, and some boys were definitely peeking. But no one else was like me, a complete academic failure, shamelessly pretending to answer questions. If I could go back to that classroom, I would definitely kick myself out the door. But back then, my mind was pounding, and I approached the podium step by step, getting a close look, almost directly in front of her. You could even call it observation... I was so creepy... You might not think much of it now, but for me at the time, the visual impact was enormous and shocking. It far surpassed any picture online. For a whole week afterward, day and night, I could clearly see that image with my eyes open and closed. Snow-white and full, trembling, large and round, pink and perky… My heart would immediately start pounding uncontrollably, and my mouth would go dry. Even now, that image is still vivid in my mind, lifelike and unforgettable. I didn't ask the teacher any questions at the time; I just carefully and secretly admired it. Amidst my surging emotions, I sensed that several male classmates next to me were also stealing glances, and we all knew it without saying a word. But the teacher never noticed; she was still diligently explaining and answering questions. It's not hard to imagine that the other classmates in the class must have been secretly laughing at us behind our backs, and I, the obviously fake academic failure, would have been the first to be mocked. Especially in the eyes of the girl I liked, she would probably look down on me outright. But at the time, I couldn't care less about that; the beautiful scenery before me was simply too tempting…

This incident remained hidden deep within me. At first, thinking about it filled me with excitement, like I'd taken a superpower, but later I gradually felt incredibly embarrassed. Don't look at what you shouldn't, young man, especially with so many people watching. I actually felt very sorry for that teacher. It was unintentional on her part, while we were deliberately being rude. I don't know if the teacher ever noticed, but there was never another opportunity like that. But I will forever remember her beauty—if that's considered a compliment and not an offense—I can't forget it. I'm truly sorry. It might not be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, but it's the most memorable, the most embarrassing, and yet the most unforgettable. Youth is the most beautiful time.

[The End]

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My Goddess English Teacher

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