An Unconventional Couple's Dating Story (Part 1) (Reprinted)

I have an outgoing, cheerful, and somewhat tomboyish personality; I can easily blend into any group. However, my husband describes me as silly and clueless. Our story begins six years ago, in the spring of 2007. I changed jobs, a job I wasn't particularly passionate about. I didn't want to keep changing jobs, because relationships are hard to build, and it's easy to develop attachments. Although I didn't love my previous jobs, I was at least dedicated and enjoyed them, and I always felt sad when I left. For me, being too popular is also a kind of sadness. I couldn't get along well with my colleagues without hurting my jealous husband, so I quietly moved to a fast-food restaurant. My life is ordinary and peaceful, and I'm content with it—daily chores, being a wife and mother.
My husband loves me very much and wants me to be happy every day. Am I happy? The answer is uncertain. I can't keep up with my husband's pace. He likes reading, listening to music, browsing the internet, and tinkering with digital gadgets—his interests are very diverse. Aside from browsing clothing stores and picking out clothes I like, I have no interest in anything else. I've tried sitting in front of the computer with my husband, trying to concentrate on something, but I always fail when I'm dozing off. Aside from dealing with household chores, children's issues, and our monthly intimacy, we barely communicate. This is the complete opposite of what I do with other people, so much so that our marriage always feels like it's missing something. The
first day I got home from work at the fast-food restaurant, I saw him fiddling with some newly developed photos. I glanced at them and went to do housework. He was clearly disappointed: "Honey, everything's so clean and tidy, why bother tidying up? Come over and show me my work."
I said, "Some other time, I'll organize the closet." I really didn't feel like dealing with his stuff.
That night, after the kids were asleep, he asked me to get up and talk. We had a long, open conversation. He said I'm emotionally rich but my thoughts and family life are too monotonous, lacking other joys, and I'm easily drawn into other people's romantic relationships. I told him he couldn't impose what I don't like on me. Finally, he brought up the topic of couples having sex, which shocked me and I found unbelievable. He immediately turned on the computer and showed me things about couples dating. After seeing so many people share their experiences, I gradually calmed down.
He said, "Don't you think our life is boring? I really want to indulge you. Since your 'Brother Zhang' and 'Brother Li' are so infatuated with you, I might as well let you flirt with them. Even if you say it won't matter, I know that if one day you lose control and have a relationship with another man, or if someone tries to take advantage of you and does those things, you'll be filled with guilt towards me. Even if I forgive you then, we can't completely go back to the way things were before. I care about you, my wife. I know you love me too. I want you to live a more fulfilling life. I can't bear to see you suffer after making a mistake."
Every word he said was so moving. I was deeply touched by my husband's love, and tears quickly streamed down my face. He hugged me tightly and said, "Wife, you know how much I want you to have more to talk about, discuss, and even bicker with. Seeing you chatting endlessly with others makes me feel terrible. I'm jealous of those people; I feel like a failure. That's why I don't like you getting too close to other people." He finished speaking and started kissing me. I hugged him tightly, desperately wanting more, tears streaming down his face. We kissed passionately, inseparable. That night, it felt like we were back on our wedding night, incredibly sweet.
After that day, he registered as a member of Happiness Village. Every night, we would browse the messages in the mailbox and reply to everyone. Although I readily accepted his dating services, I was aware of the negative aspects. He promised me he would only date couples primarily for communication, discussing sexual topics, meeting as friends, but without having sex.
Although it only added a little fun to our lives, it brought about significant changes. The biggest change was that we started to pursue each other intellectually. He became willing to go shopping with me, help me buy groceries, and do housework. I also learned and enjoyed chatting online on QQ, reading novels, and discussing national affairs with him. This change was undoubtedly thanks to our online friendship.
Two
months later, I met Mr. and Mrs. A. The weather was already very hot, and people were staying out late in the square to cool off. Mr. and Mrs. A lived in the same city as us, though our two counties were fifty kilometers apart. We had never met in person, and we only chatted online; we never video chatted or exchanged photos. We never intended to have a relationship, so why bother seeing each other's faces? Through two months of chatting, I found Mr. A to be quite romantic, very similar to my husband. He was witty and humorous, good at finding topics to talk about, and knew how to avoid topics I didn't want to discuss. His wife was a primary school teacher, not very talkative, and we barely exchanged a few words, which made my usually glib husband feel somewhat embarrassed.
Since they had a car, it was more convenient for them, so we agreed to meet at the central square in our county town. They were to arrive before 6 PM and then have dinner together. We left the child with my mother-in-law, and I dressed up carefully, almost like a first blind date. My husband rode his electric scooter with me on the back, and we discussed the meeting on the way. My heart was pounding from the moment we left the house until we reached the square, and I could tell my husband was nervous too. We arrived at the square at 5:30 PM. My husband had just received a call saying they would be there soon. After parking the scooter in the square's parking garage, we rushed to a restaurant across the street to reserve a table. The restaurant was a Sichuan restaurant, and my husband booked a private room. As soon as we entered, I closed the door, feeling incredibly nervous, and hugged my husband tightly.
He tilted my head up, looking down at me mischievously: "You're blushing like a shy bride; I don't see your usual bold and unrestrained self at all." I made a face at him, found a stool, and sat down, checking the time on my phone: exactly 6 PM. I opened QQ and sent A a message: "It's so hot today, haha." My husband had already dialed the number. The call connected: "Have you arrived yet?...Really?...It's at the Sichuan restaurant across the square...Second floor, room number 3." I could tell they had arrived, and suddenly felt it wasn't right to let them find it themselves. I should go out and greet them; after all, they are guests. So I pushed my husband out to meet them.
I hurriedly took out a mirror from my bag to check my appearance, then turned the sofa to its lowest setting. A moment later, the back door opened, and my husband greeted them and invited them in. I jumped up, the greeting I had prepared stuck in my throat. I was so nervous that I didn't know what to say, so I just gave them a forced smile. I cursed myself for my lack of self-control. Usually, when chatting online, I can speak fluently without thinking, but now I've forgotten how to even say the most basic things. My first impression of A was that he was mature. He was only two years older than my husband, but he seemed particularly mature. He had a chubby, square face, a short, buzz cut, and the air of a big boss. Wife A was petite, with slightly curved bangs covering her forehead, giving her an elegant and quiet air, exuding a strong intellectual aura.
After everyone was seated, Mr. A said, "Sorry, I should have come earlier but I'm late."
"Not at all, we just arrived too, the air conditioning has only been on for a short while," her husband replied politely.
Mr. A took out a pack of cigarettes, pulled one out, and offered it to her husband: "Brother, want a smoke?" Her husband took it and lit it. I thought to myself, "When did this guy learn to smoke? He's doing a pretty good job." My gaze shifted from my husband's cigarette to Mr. A, and we happened to meet eyes. My heart, which had just calmed down a little, suddenly started pounding. My face flushed, and I quickly lowered my head. Of course, Mr. A noticed this. I quickly composed myself, looked up at Mr. A, gave him a smile, and then looked down at my phone.
After chatting with her husband for a while, Mr. A said to me, "Why isn't your wife saying a word? Was she scared by my clumsy appearance? Haha." I chuckled and blurted out, "You were quite frightened. "
My husband and Mr. A both burst into laughter, and Mr. A's wife smiled shyly. The four of us then chatted lightly.
Sometimes I don't even understand myself. I know that in this kind of relationship and setting, we shouldn't have much to say, but once I open a little floodgate, everything bursts forth like a waterfall. I really feel like I should be a boy; I can't find any womanly reserve or shyness on my face. I don't know why my husband dotes on me so much. I dare say if I were a man looking for a girlfriend, I would definitely exclude someone with this personality.
The food was already on the table amidst my rambling. Mr. and Mrs. A hadn't touched their chopsticks; they were still listening to my stories about fighting with my husband. My husband peeled a shrimp and stuffed it into my mouth to shut me up: "Hurry up and eat your shrimp, don't wait until I finish and then say I didn't leave you any."
"Hehe...haha..." Mr. and Mrs. A laughed. Mrs. A put a chicken wing on Mr. A's plate, and my husband, seeing this, teased me: "Look how considerate your wife is. Only I, with my limited brain, have married a lively treasure like you to pamper." After he said that, the room erupted in laughter again.
Wife A said shyly, "No way! I picked up a piece but it was too big to eat, so I gave it to him. I didn't care if he liked it or not."
"Eat it, of course you like it. Eat as much as you take, haha." Husband A said humorously. I felt sorry for the husband because of how well the couple was behaving, so I also put a piece of chicken on his plate. "See how good I am to you?" "Never mind, hurry up and eat yours. I can't stand this." "Ah!" I pinched him.
As everyone ate and chatted, A put down his chopsticks and said, "How about I tell you a dirty joke?" At this moment, A's wife kicked him under the table. My husband didn't say anything; I think he probably didn't want to talk about those topics at the table. I didn't want to either. I really enjoyed the current atmosphere of our social gatherings, and those kinds of things were more appropriate to discuss online through text. A ignored his wife's warning and told his joke. I have to say I really admired A's sense of humor. Just when everyone's ears were bracing for an impending awkwardness, they discovered that A's joke wasn't dirty at all; it was completely devoid of any salacious content and hilariously funny. Later, they chatted about some trivial matters concerning their families and outsiders. Even after everyone had finished eating and left the private room, the pleasant atmosphere lingered in Room 3 of the Sichuan Restaurant.
Back home, we turned on the computer and logged onto QQ, waiting for news that Mr. and Mrs. A had arrived home safely. The child was at my father-in-law's house, so it was just the two of us. My husband hugged me from behind, and while chatting with other couples online, I enjoyed the strength of his arms. At that moment, I felt like the happiest person in the world. Only in moments like this could I lose my usual wildness and become a docile little duck. I even felt it was a return to my husband's heart, like a flying dove returning to its nest after a long journey. Flying freely and exhilaratingly, returning to my husband's arms brings a longing to be conquered and disciplined.
After a round of unrestrained shouts, I hugged my husband's strong back, feeling his warmth and savoring the lingering afterglow of love. We waited until two "beep" sounds of QQ messages. My husband gently kissed my forehead, slowly got up, and draped the messy blanket over me.
Mr. A had arrived home; it was already midnight. We chatted with Mr. A for a little while longer before turning off the computer.
In the following days, we continued chatting and leaving messages online with Mr. and Mrs. A as usual. Mr. A would frequently express his desire to take things further. Almost every time I logged into QQ, I would receive a message from Mr. A, his words filled with praise and longing. I dare say there is no woman in the world who doesn't like a man's praise. Looking at those beautiful words and their naive meaning, I felt particularly pleased. My husband had previously told me that if I was willing to try, I should boldly do it. There was no right or wrong, as long as I knew in my heart and upheld my initial principles of friendship, there was nothing wrong with that. Yes, I admit my husband's words were very convincing. This didn't involve infidelity in love, nor did it violate the marriage. What's so dirty about two couples having an affair?
3.
My husband finally couldn't hold back and told me his thoughts: he wanted to find a suitable opportunity to meet up and have some fun. I was lucky that he brought it up first, because I would never have asked for it myself. At first, I thought he wasn't interested in A-wife. It seems that men's lust is innate. If this had happened before, I would have definitely made a huge scene with him. Haha, thinking back, women's selfishness is also innate. If it were my husband in the past, I probably wouldn't be writing these stories here to share with everyone. Even though he brought it up, I was still secretly happy while cursing him as a lecher. My husband saw that I didn't seem too willing, so he launched into a long explanation. I thought to myself, "Look at how low you think your wife's IQ is. If I hadn't carefully considered the pros and cons of these things, I would never have gone to meet you in the first place. Do you think I'm a child who can be easily fooled?"
But I felt that this kind of thing happened too quickly, or rather, why did it have to be that kind of thing? It's understandable that developing such intimate matters after only one meeting would feel awkward. Although I thought at the time that sex between married couples was just a minor aspect, a form of enjoyment, and nothing to worry about, that was just a theory I believed to be correct, not something I fully understood. No matter how hard I tried to fully interpret it, I couldn't find a breakthrough. Even now, I can't give myself an authoritative explanation. My husband and I discuss this topic with other couples who have more experience. We also look up the opinions and comments of sexologists and professors. But it's pointless to talk about it now. We've lived happily for so many years, and perhaps that's the best explanation.
I admit I'm an extremely curious woman. Before, I was like a frog in a well, believing everything was within my own understanding. But when I jumped out of the well, I discovered there were so many new things to discover. It's just like the saying, "Imagination is always led by the nose by reality."
My husband's dating diary contains many unpleasant descriptions. I never ask him why; I know men and women think differently. When I initially wanted to write about these experiences and share them with others, my husband suggested writing down some of his views as well. However, I couldn't resonate with his, so I told him to write it himself, as no one knows what his true feelings were at the time. But then again, his emotions inevitably affect me, and I have to mention some of his views because our first sexual encounter with a married couple was extremely unpleasant, and my husband still harbors a slight grudge against me. First of all, it should be said that Mr. and Mrs. A were not our first time (I mean, that kind of thing). The early
autumn evening breeze is a bit chilly. I put away those tank tops and sheer dresses, counting the clothes I bought for the family with half a month's work, and I can't help but feel a little heartache about the money I spent. My husband saves his earnings, while I use mine for household expenses. Sigh, we never seem to have enough. I wonder if those things on the news are true or false.
After tidying up, I sat down next to my husband and we looked at some online posts about the Olympic torch. After a while, he gave me a mischievous grin; I knew he was going to go online again to find friends. He said he planned to meet up with couple A, but he couldn't find a suitable time or opportunity. Meanwhile, my husband was chatting enthusiastically with couple B from SX province. I didn't need to tell him anything, because he must have already pretty much figured out who he was talking to. I added couple B on QQ. My impression of B was that he was incredibly lecherous, and his words often crossed the line of rudeness. If my husband hadn't described him so highly, I wouldn't have been interested in chatting with him at all. My husband showed me their chat history; it was incredibly vulgar: "Why are all you men so vulgar when you chat?" I rolled my eyes at him. "Men, when they chat, it's all about things between men and women. Nobody wants to talk about anything serious. But you can't judge a person's character based on that, right? Am I really that despicable in real life? Right?" My husband often shows me his chat history with A. They mostly talk about sex, and their language is quite vulgar. Perhaps for women, once they like a man, they tend to think about his good points and forget the bad ones quickly. This is very evident in me.
My husband also wanted to meet Mr. and Mrs. A for the first time, since they already knew each other quite well. However, things didn't go as planned, and they couldn't arrange a meeting. Mr. and Mrs. B were eager to come and meet us, but Mr. A had to go on a business trip for a month. My husband also had to travel again soon for work. So, we decided to meet Mr. and Mrs. B first, as we had chatted for quite a while and they seemed very sincere about getting to know each other. My husband told Mr. B about the meeting, and they would come to us, and we would cover the expenses. Having already met them before, I wasn't nervous like I was the first time, though I started imagining Mr. B's lecherous look. It would take Mr. and Mrs.
B
a day to get here, which was quite a trip, so I suggested booking them a room for two nights to give them time to explore. Since they were sincere in their friendship, we should treat them with sincerity.
The location was the same as before, the central square. They had already informed us of their arrival time, around 9 PM, so we planned to have a late-night snack, then they would go back to their hotel while we went home, and the next day we would go together to the forest park tourist area about 10 kilometers from the county town.
Time flew by, and it was the day Mr. and Mrs. B arrived. Around six o'clock in the evening, I was cleaning the guest room at the fast food restaurant when my husband called: "Honey, don't go home. I've brought the kids out, let's go to a restaurant together." I thought to myself, my husband's call really came at the right time; I was just thinking about having a big meal. After tidying up the room, I hummed a little tune as I walked past five or six colleagues who were staring at me. "My husband's treating tonight, gotta go now!" they said. "Huh? Don't be so selfish! If someone's treating, take us with you!" "Afraid we'll steal your husband? Hahaha..."
After dinner, I checked the time; it was only a little past eight. My husband said the B couple would arrive around ten, so we had plenty of time. We took the child to my mother-in-law's house. Just as we were about to leave, the child started fussing. My baby was only three and a half years old then, very clingy. He needed to be by my side as soon as I picked him up from kindergarten; if I didn't see him for a moment, he'd cry for his mother. We had no choice but to stay with him at my mother-in-law's for a while. Soon it was ten o'clock, and the child still wasn't asleep. Luckily, my mother-in-law was playing mahjong, and it wouldn't end until eleven or twelve, otherwise, it would be hard to explain. I gestured for my husband to go first, saying I'd put the child to sleep before going. My husband shrugged, indicating he had no choice, so he went alone. Actually, I wasn't nervous at all; I just felt apologetic for not being there on time.
I was so happy to see everyone's comments after coming back from my night shift. I quickly edited a passage from my diary, and I'll add numbering to it from now on to avoid any inconsistencies. So sleepy, time for bed. It
was already 10:30 after the kids fell asleep. I called my husband to ask if he'd picked up Mr. and Mrs. B. He said they'd been chatting for ten minutes. So I hailed a taxi and headed straight to Central Square. I looked for the license plate number my husband had given me. I really hadn't expected them to drive. They'd said they came by train, but they'd driven all that way just to see us, a completely ordinary couple. I was quite flattered. Before I even reached the car, Mr. B got out: "You're here, sister-in-law," he said, politely offering me a bottle of green tea.
"I'm so sorry, I settled the kids at home and kept you waiting," I said apologetically. Just as I was about to open the car door and get in, B suddenly grabbed my hand holding the door handle. "Hey, sister-in-law, let's go chat for a bit up front. Let your husband and sister-in-law have a good talk in the car." His sudden action made me tremble. I quickly pulled my hand away, my heart pounding. "I..." My mind went blank again. "It's okay, it's a bit stuffy in the car. Let's take a walk and come back." I lowered my head, said "Okay," and followed him. We walked side by side on the lawn path. I didn't know how things would develop from here. Without my husband beside me, walking like a couple with a stranger made me feel awkward.
B was 31 years old, four years older than my husband. He was tall, easily 1.8 meters, and rather thin. He was very handsome, but not as dashing as I had imagined. I'm not the type to be infatuated with men, but at least I don't dislike handsome guys.
We stopped at a small pavilion. I looked around; this was probably the most secluded spot in the entire square. I didn't know what to say, so I just echoed his words, "Your wife is indeed very beautiful. No wonder you're always praising her online. She's even more beautiful than I imagined. In short: stunningly beautiful." I lowered my head and remained silent. If it were an acquaintance praising me to my face, I would have countered without hesitation. But being praised like this by a man I'd only met once made me feel very uncomfortable. He took out some tissues and wiped the bench, then asked me to sit down. He then began to talk about his dating experiences. He had already met four couples, and all of them had gone too far in their relationships. He asked me what I thought about this. I had many opinions, but B's bluntness made me speechless. At that moment, I really didn't know what to say. I don't judge people based on just a few words. Like B said, dating inevitably leads to that kind of relationship once it reaches a certain point. My first reaction was disgust, but I tried to find some evidence to support his logic. Even if I couldn't find any, I would try to understand him. I would think that my way of thinking was wrong.
5.
Seeing that I remained silent, Mr. B probably realized the reason, so he stopped mentioning sex. "Does your sister-in-law like listening to music? I'll play one," he said, taking out his phone. I nodded in agreement. The atmosphere definitely needed some noise to fill it out, so I asked him to find me a cheerful song. He played "Believe in Yourself," and I wanted to find my rhythm in the upbeat music. Some say music reflects a state of mind, and that's absolutely true. I quickly found myself again through the music. Mr. B was excited to see me humming along, so he played "The Foolish Old Man Who Moved Mountains," which I also particularly liked. The powerful shouts made me feel even better. Suddenly, Mr. B was standing behind me, his hands on my shoulders. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "What do you think they're doing in the car right now?" I looked up at him, gave him a silly smile, and shook my head. Now that Mr. B said that, I really wanted to know what my husband was doing. Thinking about it, anything seemed possible, and my face flushed.
B lowered her head again and said to me, "When I was chatting with your husband, I told him he could do whatever he wanted, and they've already started." I turned around abruptly to look at B, my heart in turmoil. "Impossible! We agreed it was just a meeting, nothing more." I denied it outright, but I wasn't sure. A thought suddenly popped into my head: "Nothing more"—what does "nothing more" mean? Does hugging count? Touching count? Kissing count? How do you define "that"? As I struggled to think about this, B leaned closer to my ear and said, "I know your husband is going on a business trip, so I told him that if he's satisfied with your wife, he should be bolder." His breath made my ear feel hot. I vaguely felt that tonight we were about to cross the line into the deepest level of marital intimacy. I looked at B in a daze. He was so direct, so unsettling. I didn't feel any resentment, but instead a sense of fear, a fear of losing something. At this moment, B hurriedly took out a tissue and wiped my wet eyes. "Don't...don't do this, sister-in-law, I'm sorry...I'm sorry, I...I didn't mean it that way. We really want to be friends with you for a long time. I was really thinking about your husband. I knew it would happen sooner or later, that's why I said that. Please don't argue with him. I...I won't talk to you anymore, okay? Don't be sad!" I watched B's mouth open and close, and at this moment I was frozen there as if my soul had left my body.
I have to admit that I wasn't at that level back then. After all, it was my first time, and it was impossible for me to have the insights I have now. Although my husband and I had fantasized countless times about what kind of situation we would have, about relaxing and enjoying the experience, when it actually happened, I felt a sense of dread, like losing my life. It was as if my husband would no longer belong to me after we did it, that he would leave me, and how terrifying the world would become if I lost him. It turns out I was incredibly adorable back then. The deeper the love, the greater the fear. My husband loved me so much and had the same thoughts, so why was I worried? Looking back, I can't help but laugh. As long as I could think of that, everything was fine. I even threw myself into B's arms, feeling incredibly sad, which made B's burning desire plummet to freezing point. What's even funnier is that after I calmed down a bit, I heard B comforting me, saying, "Don't be sad, I won't touch you, I won't touch you. They do it, but I won't." Of course, B had no idea what I was thinking. Anyone else would have thought I was crying because I was afraid of being touched by others.
Seeing B get up and grab my hand to leave, I frantically grabbed him, pulling at his clothes, kissing and touching him, trying to arouse him. I thought that only by doing this could I get closer to my husband, that I could grasp at a lifeline. My mind was a complete mess. B was bewildered by my actions, standing there dumbfounded, letting me do as I pleased, but he quickly got an erection. If a beautiful woman was so willing to throw herself at me and I didn't get aroused, how could I live up to the word "lust" in this context?

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An Unconventional Couple's Dating Story (Part 1) (Reprinted)

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