3:30 a.m., which has never happened before

My fervor infected B. He picked me up and carried me back to the bench. He sat down and threw my upper body onto his lap, slipping his hand inside my waistband. I had no time to think about anything else; my mind was filled with the thought that my husband was getting further and further away, and I had to catch up with him, desperately. All my movements were frantic and chaotic. I responded to every move he made, even more enthusiastically. I lost count of how many times I tugged at B's clothes, only hearing him say several times, "I'll do it... I'll do it." If I could have been a third party watching, I would have definitely appreciated the man's expression rather than the woman's.
I straddled B, grabbing his hair tightly, moving wildly, like taming a wild horse. Perhaps the sweat was acting as lubrication, because I felt no pleasure.
I lost count of how long I rode him until I was exhausted and collapsed onto B, only then realizing that I had crossed the mountaintop and caught up with my husband, a feeling of surreal emptiness washing over me. A moment later, I calmed down and, recalling my foolish behavior, wished I could disappear into the ground. I didn't dare lift my head off B's chest, afraid he would see me. B didn't push me away but whispered in my ear, "You looked so beautiful just now." My face burned like fire, but I was still quite pleased with his compliment. Normally thick-skinned, I didn't know what to do now. I didn't dare stand up, nor could I stay still. What was most unbearable was that even when I wasn't moving, a hand was still touching me. I quickly tried to recall my usual fearless and bold self, hoping to find some trace of that. I was so ticklish from his touch that I gritted my teeth and pulled away from his embrace, looking him directly in the eye. "What's there to touch? Hurry up and get dressed, 'make way'!" I think my expression was relatively calm at the time. After saying that, I started fastening my clothes, no longer looking at him. B was surprised by my change, opened his mouth wide, and said "Oh," before getting back to his work.
After we finished, I told B to leave first, but he wouldn't. He said he wanted to walk with his arm around my waist. I almost choked on my food. "Go on, aren't you afraid your wife will be kidnapped?" I said, turning him around and pushing him a few steps. B grinned, didn't insist anymore, and left alone.
After B left, I also left the pavilion and walked in the opposite direction. I wanted to be alone for a while and didn't want them to bother me later. I sent my husband a text message: "Honey, you go have supper with them. I'm going home now. Have fun! Hehe."
I opened my phone and saw A's message: "Sister-in-law, are you asleep?" "It's so hot in the South, I can't sleep." "Not asleep yet," A replied immediately. "What are you doing now?" "Just grinning." After a few seconds, A replied again, "Really? Haha, I was spacing out too. I'll just grin with you for a bit." I chuckled at his humor and didn't chat with him anymore. I put my phone in my pocket. In terms of looks, A wasn't as handsome as B, probably not even average. Before, my husband asked me if I had to choose between A and B to sleep with, and I casually chose A. My husband was clearly a little jealous.
7.
Before we got into dating/friendship programs, my husband often told me that I had to be careful with my interactions with everyone, because once I got emotionally involved, everything would change and I'd lose more than I gained. I understood what he meant, and I didn't want to say anything like "until the seas run dry and the rocks crumble, my love will never change." As long as I was honest with myself, that was enough. Back then, my husband was often jealous, so I tried to avoid it, rarely eating or joking around with male colleagues. His jealousy actually made me happy; it proved how much he loved and cared for me. But sometimes he confused friendship with it, putting me in a difficult position. If we were to talk about the occasional fights I had with my colleagues... Nao Nao touched a nerve with him, so there's no need for him to be jealous now that he's just chatting with A on QQ, especially since it's a family-based online friendship. I admit he's much better than before; he won't confront someone just because they invited me to dinner anymore, which makes me genuinely happy. But that's not enough. I need to work on making my husband more open-minded, and I believe he can give me even more space to grow.
I don't know what other people's initial motivations are for using couples-based online friendships. Is it for a mundane life? To add some spice? No, at least I don't agree. Those eight words alone can't sway me. My husband's explanation back then was the same: life is bland, so add some seasoning. Aren't there enough seasonings available now? Chicken seasoning, fish seasoning, hot pot seasoning, star anise, spices, five-spice powder—aren't all these seasonings enough for you to enjoy? "Hehe, sorry, we got off-topic."
I wanted to say, "A simple life is also a kind of happiness." Anyway, my reasons for accepting my husband weren't pure. Ostensibly, I supported his views; secretly, I wanted something useful to change the current stalemate. I wanted a different kind of happiness, one that relaxed both physically and mentally. I wanted my husband's love to be closer to my desires. Perhaps for most men, it's all about... Some couples seek sexual stimulation through dating, but for women, there's always an ulterior motive beyond sex.
Leaving the square, I wandered aimlessly, feeling exceptionally good. Not only was I not jealous of my husband, but I even imagined how awkward he'd be in front of a strange woman! He always brags about his willpower and strength; what if he got too excited on the battlefield and couldn't face anyone? I, on the other hand, felt like a victorious warrior returning from a battle, standing before him and proudly saying, "No, no, when it comes to willpower, you're still no match for your wife. Hehe." Thinking of B, I found it quite amusing; his silly, lecherous look was as adorable as a one-year-old baby being teased.
Walking on the deserted streets late at night, breathing in the freedom you gave me, this time I truly let go, no longer questioning the reasons for the hurt. Listening to the beautiful music, my heart seemed to dance. Perhaps many say that sex outside of love leads to heartbreak, but for me, it's still intoxicating.

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3:30 a.m., which has never happened before

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