The psychological phenomenon of replacement (reprinted)

There are indications that these "clubs," popular in middle-class European family gatherings and centered around sex, have become widespread in Chinese cities. For middle-class individuals with stable jobs and high incomes, these small-scale gatherings offer a unique and private experience, typically taking place in upscale clubs or pre-arranged hotels.
Of course, these clubs also have a name from outsiders that is not widely accepted: *** clubs. "That's somewhat patriarchal," some club leaders or participating women might say.
Regardless, in many large Chinese cities, including Chongqing, seeking "swapping partners" has become a lifestyle choice for many middle-class individuals when their married lives feel monotonous and dull.
Entering the Inner World of *** Enthusiasts :
A psychology master's student, when discussing why she began to consider "swapping," said, "After having children for three or four years, the aesthetic fatigue that developed between my spouse and I led to a lack of passion in our emotional life," prompting us to seriously consider this bold idea.
The high work pressure faced by both partners was also one of the factors cited by this psychology master's student in explaining the origin of this idea. Driven by both pressure and this sense of weariness, even the smallest, most trivial argument between spouses can push their marriage to the brink of collapse.
Marriage is a commitment, but sex clearly does not play a minor role. When this factor evolves into a crisis that both partners must face together, then according to the marriage contract, its resolution requires the joint effort of both spouses.
"I want my wife to experience a different kind of pleasure,"
the couple said, achieving their desired happiness in a state of psychological equilibrium. "The most crucial aspect of partner swapping is ensuring your wife finds the other man appealing, and maintaining her satisfaction throughout the process. Adhere to the consistent 'Long live the wife' stance.
" "However, if you place all your hopes for improving your marriage on partner swapping, then it's probably a burden the swapping cannot bear." He said this about the principles of partner swapping: "Both parties must absolutely not discuss feelings; in fact, other people are unwilling to swap with couples who have emotional problems." "
Another couple had been married for much shorter time, only three years. Both were college graduates, 30 and 29 years old respectively, and senior white-collar workers. Besides her regular job, the wife also managed a business in Jiefangbei, Chongqing.
He said he liked football, music, and making friends, while his wife enjoyed watching TV and reading. This couple didn't have children yet and had no plans to have any in the next two years. They had no experience with swapping, and their current view on the matter was very simple: it was just a physical game, not that complicated. So there was no question of one trying to convince the other.
'As long as both sides can see things clearly, that's enough,' he said. 'If you're married but find it's not your ideal marriage, and love requires compromise, then swapping is just a way of life.'" "
While the reasons for 'partner swapping' vary from person to person, the principles they must follow in this process are largely the same. 'Partner swappers' are not anarchists; unlike the Beatles of the 1960s, they appear outwardly very 'gentle and modest,' a group seemingly least likely to cheat—the 'stabilizing elements' of our society.
Therefore, they must think carefully before each action. This meticulous way of thinking is reflected in the rules and regulations of a well-known domestic 'couples' dating club': 'Swapping' also has its principles.' Let
's take a look at the club's rules and regulations—
'To encourage both parties to seriously consider their personal behavior, respect personal privacy, and minimize unnecessary disputes and harm to the family, this club hereby establishes the following covenant, hoping both parties will abide by it.
Important Notice: This club strongly condemns any violation of the rules.
1. Full respect for personal privacy: If either party objects to the disclosure of personal information such as address or phone number, they must not inquire about it.'"
2. Respect the woman's wishes completely. No actions should be taken against her will without her consent, and illegal means should not be used to achieve the desired outcome. Please carefully consider the serious consequences of such actions.
3. Both parties should communicate with honesty and openness. It is recommended to fully discuss personal interests, hobbies, and preferences beforehand to avoid any unpleasantness.
4. Both parties should consciously confirm and disclose any health conditions, such as whether they have infectious diseases or other conditions that make them unsuitable for the relationship. Please carefully consider the serious consequences of such actions.
5. Neither party should use any means to harm or make the other uncomfortable during the communication process. Men, in particular, should demonstrate gentlemanly conduct and show full care and respect for the woman.
6. Both parties should confirm their legally valid and genuine marital status.
7. If either party has children, please restrain your behavior and strictly refrain from actions that could negatively impact the next generation.
8. After the communication ends, if one party has no intention of continuing the relationship, the other party should not harass or disrupt the other party's family.
9. Neither party is allowed to engage in any monetary transactions.
10. Intimate behavior with the other person is prohibited in public places or where acquaintances know their identities.
When the "marital morality" of some urban middle-class men and women collectively falls into a state of "helpless decline," they begin to seek loopholes in social rules. These people are civil servants, white-collar workers in enterprises, and middle-level cadres in state-owned enterprises by day, but at night they are enthusiastic about a new kind of ethics called "exchanging tenderness." At this time, sex inevitably becomes an "internal driving force" eager to break through traditional morality.
Many evolutions in social organization begin with marriage. The famous "Sex, Not War" movement in the United States in the 1960s spurred a massive anti-war wave; China's May Fourth Movement changed the Chinese people's views on marriage and love under the shackles of traditional ethics; when Mao Zedong established his red regime in the base areas, he first advocated land reform, freedom of marriage, and women's liberation.
Sex becomes a "social force" because of its own internal driving force.
Playboy, flourishing worldwide, attempted to leverage its "sex appeal" to establish its first club in mainland China in Shanghai at the end of 2004, but failed. Meanwhile, another magazine, *Men's Health*, exclusively for middle-class men, featured Chinese female celebrities smeared with milk to showcase their alluring figures. When a global survey by the well-known condom brand Durex claimed that the average Chinese person had 19.3 sexual partners, most sexually frustrated male university students didn't experience this happiness; they were prohibited from renting off-campus housing by their schools, a reason clearly not solely for management convenience. Dancer Tang Jiali undressed in front of a photographer, but most Chinese people failed to grasp the revolutionary significance of her action, remaining only in the debate: what should be the bottom line for the degree of nudity?
The sexual consciousness of this generation of Chinese people remains in a state of flux, somewhere between liberation and confinement.
So, can the "couples clubs" quietly spreading among some urban white-collar workers in China truly represent a breakthrough in traditional moral constraints? According to Engels, in Western society, the subordinate status of women, the emergence of private property, and the transition from matrilineal to patrilineal societies are undoubtedly closely linked to the emergence of the monogamous nuclear family in human society. The sole purpose of the monogamous family is to protect the social continuation of private property.
Why would the members of the middle class engage in such "adultery" that could lead to financial troubles?
They attempt to break through sexual constraints only under the guise of improving their marital life; they strive to break the monogamous system that restricts their physical pleasure but raise the banner of "family fidelity"; they try to save marriages on the verge of collapse but resort to sexual games.
"Adultery" is the "ice storm" about to sweep through China's middle class.

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The psychological phenomenon of replacement (reprinted)

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