High school students who are going astray

My name is Wu Xiaoping. When I sit alone and bored in front of the computer writing down my past, it's hard to describe the feelings in my heart.

(I) Yearning to be Raped

When I entered high school, I was 15 years old. Unlike other girls in lower grades who were chased around by the seniors, almost no older students paid attention to me.

At that time, I was still a minor and underdeveloped little girl, and I didn't dare to walk with my head held high. Seeing my girlfriends going on dates frequently, I was very itchy. At night, when I lay in bed in the dormitory, I would touch my pubic area, which hadn't grown a single hair, and I couldn't help but sigh secretly.

In the second semester of my first year of high school, an opportunity finally came. A boy named Sun Yannan wrote me a love letter. Although he was very handsome and tall, he was somewhat gloomy. To be honest, I longed to be raped by him. It would be so exciting to be held in his strong arms. But he seemed very timid. Every time he stood next to me, he wouldn't move at all.

One day, a short but even more handsome boy stopped me and demanded that I tell him my name. I pretended to be shy and refused. He laughed wildly and said, "I see your chest is small and flat, so I'll call you Xiaoping (Little Flat)." Huh? It turned out to be a lucky coincidence.

From then on, that boy named Lu Junfeng would call me "Little Flat Girl, Little Flat Girl" incessantly whenever he saw me. Once, during a power outage, he touched my still-developing breasts, leaving me feeling unsettled for days. Actually, I liked this kind of straightforward boy; it felt very satisfying. As for Sun Yannan, who might have truly loved me, he never even held my hand.

I heard that Sun Yannan had a good chance of getting into a good university, so unconsciously, my heart leaned towards him. I pretended to casually mention that Lu Junfeng had harassed me, and they got into a fight, which Sun Yannan won. However, he never touched me until he got into university.

(II) Waiting for

Sun Yannan to be admitted to university, he kept writing to me. But at that time, I could hardly feel anything for a boy who wasn't around and with whom I hadn't had any physical relationship.

Around this time, a senior high school girl I knew passed me a letter from a boy named Fang Yesheng. Although I'd heard he was a womanizer, I was lonely and secretly started dating him.

Fang Yesheng's parents were business people and often away from home. One weekend, he invited me to his house, and since I was bored, I went. Since kissing was a common occurrence on dates, as soon as I entered his house, he roughly pushed me onto the bed, kissed me, and frantically rubbed my flat chest with his hands. Even though his lips were covering my mouth, I couldn't help but let out a few muffled moans.

His hands moved downwards, slipping inside my underwear. When he touched my labia, he trembled with excitement. I felt his lower body throbbing against me, but I didn't stop him. Instead, I twisted my body and let out a soft "Ah."

My reaction probably encouraged him greatly, because he unbuttoned my shirt. Since my breasts weren't fully developed, I wasn't wearing a bra. His tongue began to lick my slightly hardened nipples, and I twisted even more vigorously, not out of resistance, but out of excitement.

But just as he was about to unbutton my pants, I suddenly thought of Sun Yannan. This boy, who had expressed his feelings for me for the first time, wrote me a letter every week. The sincere affection revealed in his letters had once impressed my best friend, Sheng Yufang. And he was such a promising boy; I had no reason to choose this good-for-nothing Fang Yesheng over him.

I suddenly reached out and pulled my pants down forcefully, shouting resolutely, "No!" I had made up my mind to give my virginity to the boy who truly loved me—Sun Yannan.

Fang Yesheng was somewhat surprised, then his head drooped in disappointment. I quickly dressed, sat down at the table, and didn't look at him or say anything, feeling extremely awkward. He suddenly grabbed my arm fiercely and asked, "Are you still thinking about that guy surnamed Sun?" I didn't speak, feeling embarrassed for suddenly spoiling his excitement. After

a while, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't want to do this so soon. I'm only 16." He calmed down and asked, "So, will you still talk to me in the future?" I nodded, unsure whether it meant I would talk to him or not.

Later, when Fang Yesheng asked me out, I tried my best to find excuses not to go. But if I did go, I didn't resist his kisses and touches at all. Once, he pulled my hand to touch his genitals. It was the first time I had ever touched a man's penis; it was hard, hot, and throbbing.

At first, I firmly refused his sexual advances, but the more I tried, the harder it became to resist the temptation. Ever since that incident at his house, I've been fantasizing about sex all the time, and my genitals have been constantly aroused. But around this time, Sun Yannan stopped writing to me. Years later, I learned that he was testing whether I had feelings for him.

However, I'm a very lazy person, so if he didn't write, I didn't write either. Besides, my sex drive was very high at that time, and I often secretly masturbated until late at night, leaving me feeling very tired. I was pleasantly surprised to find that my breasts had gotten bigger, and a few sparse hairs had grown on my vulva. Fang Yesheng touched my breasts and clearly felt the change. He asked me to unbutton my shirt so he could lick them. I figured I wouldn't lose my virginity that way, so I let him lick them. Several times, I couldn't take it anymore and really wanted to have sex with him, but I desperately restrained myself because winter vacation was approaching, and I had to wait for Sun Yannan to come back.

Just before winter vacation, Sun Yannan wrote to me, saying that he had injured himself while playing ball and told me the date he would be home. After receiving the letter, I was overwhelmed with mixed feelings. I replied with extremely complicated emotions, but I pretended not to care. I thought the letter must have hurt him, otherwise, he wouldn't have been so sensitive to the matter between me and Fang Yesheng as soon as he returned.

(III) The Era of Abstinence

When Sun Yannan returned, we were taking final exams. Since the afternoon was math, which I hated, I didn't participate. I heard from the girls in my class that they saw him chatting happily with his old buddies in the teaching building. I thought about my relationship with Fang Yesheng and suddenly felt disgusted. I knew he would ask me out that night, so I took sick leave from evening self-study.

He was brought by a girl I hated named Chen Shanhua. I felt uneasy and wondered what Chen Shanhua had said to him. He wasn't excited at all when he saw me and asked me to go for a walk on the playground. As soon as he opened his mouth, I knew he already knew about my relationship. He subtly inquired about my life, but I didn't say a word, inwardly cursing, "You idiot, why are you asking such pointless questions? I've kept my body pure for you until now, get to the point!" But after walking around the playground a few times, his mood worsened. He walked me to my dorm room, saying he'd take me home the next day and then left.

I stood there, thinking, even if he didn't ask me out that night, he should at least kiss me before leaving, right? Seeing I didn't move, he came back, and my heart pounded. But all he said gently was, "Go into your dorm, it's cold," and then walked away without looking back. I knew he was angry with me, especially since I hadn't said anything he wanted to hear, which probably angered him.

I was also angry at his idiocy. So the next day, when he took me home, I didn't let him walk me very far. I could tell his eyes were a little red; he definitely hadn't slept well the night before. But walking with him made me feel incredibly stifled. He seemed to be probing, wanting me to admit my mistakes.

As he turned to leave, a pang of sadness struck me, and I suddenly had the urge to end things with Fang Yesheng. So, I boarded the boat heading to Fang's house. I told Fang Yesheng that I only loved Sun Yannan and that we were officially breaking up. His parents were home, and he didn't do anything to me. I also threatened him that Sun Yannan would hire people to beat him up when school started after winter break, and that cowardly guy never bothered me again after that.

Sun Yannan called me a few times during winter break, but I hated his bossy tone, so I had my mother answer the phone. My mother gave him a good scolding, while I laughed rather brazenly. Sun Yannan was definitely disappointed in me. When school started again, he came to the school, but didn't look for me, and didn't write to me again for a year.

As for me, I don't know why, I didn't flirt with any other boys that year. Maybe in my heart, I felt it was a pity to lose Sun Yannan, and I was also angry with myself. In

my senior year of high school, my grades plummeted. When I thought of Sun Yannan encouraging me to have a date with him by the lake at his university, I laughed self-deprecatingly. I hardly went to class anymore, and just liked to sleep.

During the day, I slept alone in my dormitory, caressing my body, which wasn't full but was smooth, and felt sorry for Sun Yannan. He hadn't even touched me, let alone looked at me. The school finally couldn't tolerate my truancy anymore and advised me to drop out and go home. Sheng Yufang, Zhan Xingyan, and others went with me.

Since I dropped out in the second semester of my senior year, the winter of 2001 was probably the happiest time of my life. Although I no longer hung out with boys, I could skip classes openly and go to the classroom when I was tired of playing. Before New Year's Day, I heard that Sun Yannan had written a letter to Chen Shanhua. I wondered if they were having an affair. I had someone steal the letter and was surprised to see that Sun Yannan asked about me in the letter.

The idea of getting back together with him was born. I immediately bought a greeting card, wrote a few simple words, and sent it. I understood that for someone who was so deeply in love with me, this was enough. Sure enough, he replied and said he would come to see me when he returned.

(IV) Flowers Bloom and Fade

When Sun Yannan came back, we were already on holiday. He didn't call my family, and I thought he was just making excuses. At the start of the second semester, I went to school to pack my things to go home. I overheard Zhan

Xingyan saying that Sun Yannan was looking for me. When he saw me, he seemed to be forcing a smile. I knew he had talked to Chen Shanhua for a long time before finding me; perhaps Chen Shanhua had told him.

He insisted I stay with him, saying he had a lot to say. I understood that his purpose in wanting me to stay was to take advantage of me that night. But I had told my family I was going home that day, so I invited him to my house instead. Surprisingly, he became much bolder and wasn't afraid of my mother anymore; he actually came home with me. Sheng Yufang and Zhan Xingyan also came to visit.

My parents and brother vaguely knew about my relationship with him, and they were extremely pleased, especially after learning he was a student at a prestigious university. I discussed with Sheng Yufang and Zhan Xingyan about going to the city where his university was located to study computers. However, just before departure, Sheng Yufang was stopped by her family.

Zhan Xingyan and I, accompanied by my brother, arrived in his city, but were greatly disappointed by the computer school that advertised in newspapers, radio, and television, and insisted on going home. Sun Yannan tried to persuade us to stay, but to no avail, and could only watch helplessly as we boarded the train home.

Later, Sun Yannan called me many times, asking me to go back to that city, and I was somewhat tempted. Besides, I knew that if I stayed at home, I would never have a chance to get ahead. So, I packed my bags again and went to the county town alone to catch a bus.

(V) Getting on the Wrong Bride

However, just as I was waiting for the bus on the platform, I realized that I was standing on the wrong platform. In the distance, a train coming from the opposite direction of my destination was speeding by. I saw familiar faces in the crowd; they were several of my female classmates. They were trying their best to persuade me to go to Nanchang to learn computers. Having missed the train I was supposed to take, I was very upset, and inexplicably followed them to Nanchang.

All computer training schools in the world are the same, as black as crows. In Nanchang, we didn't learn anything. Several of the girls who came with me were seduced by rich men, and they came back telling me about their experiences in bed.

Meanwhile, a handsome guy from Zhejiang made advances towards me. Disappointed and lonely, I started dating him, and things progressed quickly.

Sun Yannan tried every means to call and write to me; my heart was in turmoil. I had remained a virgin for him for three years, but fate seemed to decree that he couldn't enjoy my body. I started avoiding him and soon slept with Wang Badan from Zhejiang.

That day, Wang Badan invited me to his room to watch a video. It's funny, we were computer students, and after almost six months, we still didn't know how to use the internet. Typing in pinyin, we could only manage thirteen or fourteen characters per minute, so our daily lives were very boring. We used to go to Wang Badan's room often, but always with a group. That day, when I went in, I realized it was just the two of us.

He was playing "The Jade Maiden Heart Sutra," and when the sex scene came on, I blushed and felt hot. He had already embraced me, his hand slipping under my clothes. After more than a year, suddenly reliving the feeling of being touched by a man sent a jolt

of excitement through me, like an electric shock. I kissed him first, and before he could even touch my genitals, he started undressing me. My hand involuntarily reached for his genitals, and he said in an excited, trembling voice, "Okay, let me show you. By the way, take it out with your own hand." He urged me with his eyes, and at that moment, I lost my mind. I reached for Wang Badan's crotch, grabbed it, and it was so hard, so big... I slowly pulled down the zipper and took his penis out from his underwear. Seeing that dark, thick thing that kept nodding, I was startled.

He didn't give me a chance to continue admiring myself. Suddenly, he forcefully spread my legs and began licking my genitals. The position made it seem like I was about to urinate, and my face turned red to my ears. But it felt so good… "Your nipples are pink. Are you a virgin?" Wang Badan pulled off his shirt, pants, and underwear in one go, and straddled me completely naked.

After stroking me a few more times, he said, "I can't take it anymore. I'm going to go in." His thick, hard thing touched the entrance of my petals, and finally, he came. But, at that moment, a sharp pain shot through me.

"It hurts, it hurts so much!" "Ah? Is this really your first time?" I was in so much pain that tears were about to come out, and I didn't say anything. He slowly inserted himself, and his thick, hot thing was completely enveloped. I didn't know if it was pain or heat, but I clung tightly to Wang Badan.

He kissed me as he said, "Xiaoping, relax a little. I can't move anymore." Seeing that I was very nervous, he drew circles on my small breasts with his fingers. I felt waves of numbness and couldn't help but let go. I felt his thing slowly withdrawing from my lower body, then suddenly thrusting in hard. I screamed "Ah!" A feeling I'd never experienced before made my heart feel like it was about to leap out of my chest.

Then, like a chick pecking at rice, he moved in and out of my vagina at a rapid pace. My breathing became labored, so I took a deep breath and exhaled heavily. The grinding sensation inside my vagina made me want to scream, but I was afraid someone would hear, so I bit my lip hard. As his rhythm quickened, I felt utterly overwhelmed and opened my mouth, biting his shoulder hard. He screamed "Ah!" but the frequency increased even more. I felt like I was being carried high into the sky.

Suddenly, he let out a heavy sigh and collapsed on top of me, motionless. I felt as if I had plummeted to the bottom, and it took me a while to recover before I asked, "Um, what's wrong?" He said weakly, "I'm about to collapse, let me rest for a bit." I wouldn't have it, I shook my lower body violently and frantically pressed him down beneath me, thrusting myself. After a while, as if unwilling to be suppressed, he came back again, his thing even thicker and hotter. I moaned a few times with pleasure, but his lips silenced me, so I could only grab at his belly button with my hands.

Suddenly, I felt his thing throbbing intensely inside me, and a warm substance began to gush out in large spurts. He growled softly, and we hugged tightly, wanting to hold onto this moment longer. After about seven or eight seconds, the throbbing stopped, but his thing was still hard, as if it had stretched out considerably, pressing against some spot inside me, making me not want to move at all.

His penis finally softened and was squeezed out by my genitals. He buried his face between my two not-so-full breasts and mumbled something. I didn't want to talk for the time being, so I ignored him.

After a while, he climbed off me, glanced at my genitals, and then kissed me: "Thank you!" I knew he was thanking me for giving him my virginity, but I felt his reaction wasn't passionate enough, so I asked him, "Will you cherish me?" He nodded wearily and said, "There's so much blood, let me clean it for you." I rolled over, a little shyly saying, "Um... turn around, I'll do it myself." He roughly and teasingly spread my legs: "What's there to be shy about? I saw everything." I punched him lightly and let him be. He parted my labia with his fingers, and I felt something immediately flow out. I immediately covered my face and said, "Don't do this... wipe it off quickly." He wiped it very gently, a ticklish sensation spreading throughout my body. I got up to look at the sheets—a huge pool of blood! I couldn't help but gasp.

After my first time, my desires were extremely strong. If seeing my own blood on the sheets made me feel even a little guilty towards Sun Yannan, then I completely indulged in the pleasures of sex and almost forgot about him. Of course, he wouldn't forget me so easily; he wrote to me repeatedly. I replied that we weren't suitable, and if he wanted, I could be his sister. This letter deeply hurt him; his reply was furious, so I simply ignored him. I had

several passionate encounters with Wang Badan, but he refused to give me his room key, only allowing me to visit him on Mondays and Thursdays, making it difficult to find him at other times.

As summer vacation approached, I worried that going home would prevent us from having sex for a long time, so I wanted to stay with him every day. One weekend, bored, I went to his room and found the door locked. Just as I was about to leave, I suddenly heard several woman's moans. I was all too familiar with those moans; they were made during pleasurable sex. I smiled dismissively, but then realized the sounds seemed to be coming from Wang Badan's room.

I pressed my ear to the door and heard that someone inside was indeed doing *that* kind of thing. Even worse, I could hear a few muffled voices—it was Wang Badan's voice!

I pounded on the door frantically, my anger flaring. Someone inside asked, "Who is it? The master isn't in." It was the woman speaking! I was even angrier: "You bastard, I heard your voice! Open the door!" Wang Badan opened the door, looking at me coldly. I didn't cry; I just grabbed his arm, my nails piercing his bones.

The woman, not fully dressed, her full, white breasts trembling, walked over seductively and said, "What's wrong? Haven't you seen people doing it before? Come on, Brother Wang, let's show him." I angrily cursed, "You slut!" She raised her hand and slapped me hard, but Wang Badan, unconcerned, went back to his room and sat down. I wanted to slap her too, but suddenly I lost my temper, covered my face and ran back to my dorm, throwing myself onto my bed.

The next day, I packed my things and went home without telling anyone. I would never go back to that heartbreaking place, Nanchang.

(VI) Complete Depravity

When I got home, my parents were very affectionate, which made me feel ashamed. I had to make up a lie, saying that I was on vacation, and I was naturally anxious about the start of the second half of the year. The

"summer vacation" was a bit boring. I called Sheng Yufang and Zhan Xingyan, but they were not home. I had to hide in my room alone to watch porn and masturbate. More than ten days passed without doing "that," and I started to feel slutty, my desires swelling wildly.

One afternoon, the phone on the table rang. It was a man named Wang Jianbi, who was Sun Yannan's high school classmate. He said he was back and going home, and he had a lot of things to take with him, which he couldn't carry alone. He asked if I could help him. I was bored anyway, so I answered the phone, told my mother, and went out.

I was familiar with Wang Jianbi. In high school, he pursued Chen Shanhua, a girl in our class. He would often come to our classroom drunk and cause trouble. I heard he was now living in the same city as Sun Yannan. I accompanied him, trekking over mountains and valleys to his home. It was getting late, but we could still get home.

When I said goodbye, Wang Jianbi tried to persuade me to stay, saying, "It's getting dark, don't go back. I'll take you tomorrow." Seeing my hesitation, he whispered, "I can tell you about Sun Yannan, do you want to hear it?" So I stayed. But I slept with his mother that night, so I didn't hear anything about Sun Yannan. The next day, he rushed home with me early in the morning. His true nature finally showed; he was his usual scoundrel, groping me shamelessly. What's worse, he even said I was the girl with the smallest breasts he had ever met. I was angry and ignored him the whole way home. He was staying in a friend's dormitory in town.

That evening, it was a bit hot. I received a call from Wang Jianbi, who said he was bored in his friend's dorm and could tell me about Sun Yannan. I didn't want to talk to him, but I felt restless at home, so I went to his friend's dorm in town.

He was shirtless, wearing beach shorts, and I had never seen such an ugly body. At first, he did tell me about Sun Yannan. He said that when Sun Yannan was a freshman, a girl from another department who looked a lot like me pursued him, but at that time, he only had eyes for me and rejected her, and hadn't dated anyone since.

After talking for a while, his hands started groping my waist, and I felt a sense of resistance. After all, he was Sun Yannan's good friend, and if I did *that* with him, Sun Yannan would definitely find out, so I stood up to leave. He pushed me onto the bed, roughly pulled off my t-shirt, bit my nipple, and before I could even say "no," he had already unbuttoned my capri pants. He was going to rape me! But a passion I'd never felt before surged within me, and while I pretended to struggle and twist my body in resistance, I let out a soul-stirring moan.

He squeezed my genitals hard, his fingers plunging inside, and I cried out in pain—this pervert! He had very long fingernails, scraping my vaginal walls painfully. He seemed to have no intention of continuing foreplay, pulling out his penis and thrusting it inside. To be honest, his penis wasn't long, but because my vagina was tight, it felt very full once it was inside.

He wasn't very tall, so his movements were incredibly fast, making me a little dizzy. He might be a natural sadist, taking the time to bite my breasts hard with his mouth; although it hurt, it felt strangely pleasurable. But the good times didn't last long; less than fifteen minutes later, he ejaculated on top of me.

Although the fan was on full blast, I was drenched in sweat, so I pushed him aside, who was reluctant to leave my body, and he remained motionless, letting me do as I pleased. I could tell he was satisfied, but I was still not satisfied. I turned him over, lay on his chest, gently bit his nipple, and reached down to his genitals, gently stroking his penis.

He opened his eyes, his energy returned, and his penis slowly hardened. He then pressed me down forcefully. But his erection didn't last long; just as he was about to penetrate me, it went soft again. He cursed, "Damn it," and rubbed his soft, snake-like penis against my vaginal opening, making my labia, which had become numb from the thrusting, feel something again. As expected, his penis finally regained its strength, and this time it lasted for more than twenty minutes.

He wouldn't let me go home, so I had no choice but to sleep with him. I repeatedly begged him not to tell Sun Yannan about what happened that night, and he agreed. Later, I found out that he had told Sun Yannan about us as soon as he arrived.

(VII) Incestuous Pleasure

The next day, I guessed that my parents had gone out to play cards, so I secretly slipped home. I furtively unlocked the door, only to find my brother sitting in my room with a gloomy expression. The TV wasn't on, and the fan wasn't running. Sensing something was wrong, I tried to quietly close the door and slip away.

"Come back!" I heard my brother shout. Why would my brother, who always doted on me, speak to me like that? I nervously reopened the door and went back in. Seeing his expression, I decided to use my trump card—acting cute. In a slightly trembling voice, I said, "Oh dear, brother, what's wrong? You scared your little sister to death!" I approached him and smelled alcohol—he rarely drinks, not even beer. It seemed he was drunk after just one drink. Knowing he was drunk, I felt strangely relieved.

Who knew that my usual effective coaxing wouldn't work this time? My brother continued to question me loudly, "Where were you gallivanting around last night?" I was already a natural at lying, "Well, I went to see Lina from town. She was home alone last night." With a "bang," my brother slammed a piece of paper on the table. "Look at this! Don't think everyone doesn't know what you've been up to!" I suspiciously took the paper, and was immediately horrified. It was a letter from our "school" in Nanchang, saying I wasn't studying and was having inappropriate relationships, and that I was to be expelled.

My biggest fear was that the school would let my family know about those things. I wondered if my parents had seen the letter. Now, in front of my brother, I couldn't help but cry. "Stop crying! Tell me, who were you gallivanting around with last night?" I didn't dare answer, and my sobs subsided.

My brother slammed his hand on the table again: "Do you know why I'm 26 and still haven't found a wife and settled down? I just want you to be successful, to study more, so I'm focused on earning money for you! I won't even mention what happened in high school, when I told you to study computers, but you didn't go to Sun Yannan's place, you went to Nanchang to fool around. Now you've been expelled, and you still don't repent. Which guy did you go with last night? What's the difference between you and a prostitute? How can you face me?"

Hearing my brother say I was no different from a prostitute, I burst into tears again. My brother stood up abruptly, grabbed my arm, and threw me heavily onto the bed. I covered my head with my hands, guessing that my brother was going to beat me, and quickly curled up. But instead, he pulled up my t-shirt, ripped off my bra, and slapped my breasts hard twice.

Everything happened so suddenly, I stared at him in terror. My terrified and helpless appearance probably aroused his desire. His eyes were red, and he reeked of alcohol as he pressed himself against me, cursing viciously, "I'd rather have your own brother fuck you to death than let a customer fuck you!" I cried, "Brother, don't do this..." But he seemed to have lost his mind, tearing down my underwear.

Perhaps due to the alcohol, his movements were somewhat clumsy, but incredibly powerful. He used both hands to pin my hands to the bed, his penis thrusting haphazardly against my genitals, making my whole body go numb. Although I was still crying, seeing that I couldn't resist, I became a little more resigned, secretly glancing at my brother's genitals. Ah, his penis was so big! But without guidance, his penis passed by my vagina three times without penetrating, and even more outrageous, once it even poked into my navel.

Afraid that I would resist, he raised my hands above my head, holding them down with one hand, and with the other hand guiding his penis, he thrust it hard into my vagina. I couldn't help but cry out, feeling as if his penis had pierced my throat, making it feel blocked.

I was terrified by the smell of alcohol emanating from his mouth, so I turned my head away from him. He roughly grabbed my ear, pulling my face back, and pressed his alcohol-smelling lips against mine. Below me was the pleasure of his thrusting, but above me was the alcohol smell I hated. I shook my head in resistance. But he wasn't satisfied. He grabbed my chin with one hand and, while my mouth was open, shoved his tongue inside, swirling it around.

I groaned, but my hands unconsciously tightened their grip on my brother's waist, trying to make him move less. But I couldn't hold him back. He attacked me like a tidal wave, yelling, "Fuck you, you bitch! Fuck you, you bitch!" Because it was my brother on top of me, I dared not make any lewd moans, and could only bite my lip desperately.

It was truly a case of "one wave after another," the relentless thrusting ignited my inner motor enthusiast. I gripped my brother's waist tightly with my legs, my body trembling with each beat of his, my hands scratching furiously at his back, sweat soaking my long hair.

He closed his eyes in ecstasy, seemingly oblivious to my tender flesh beneath him, mechanically and rapidly planting his seed. I finally couldn't help but moan, feeling his member suddenly double in size inside me, then I seemed to hear a "squeak" as my brother ejaculated inside me.

He stopped thrusting, his once powerful body collapsing onto me. He grasped my breasts, gently rubbing his face against my cleavage, letting out a satisfied sigh.

When he opened his eyes and saw that it was his sister beneath him, he suddenly panicked, quickly dressed, opened the door, and left. I remained lying on the bed, savoring the experience. To be honest, despite the incest, this time the feeling was the most wonderful.

Later, I learned that only my brother had seen the letter; my parents didn't know. Although my brother often felt guilty about incest, he was captivated by my fair and tender body and wouldn't reveal the letter.

About half a month later, Wang Jianbi called me and asked me to come to his place. I told my parents that I was going to Sun Yannan's place to learn computers and didn't want to go back to Nanchang. My parents were very supportive of my relationship with Sun Yannan, but they knew very little about it and didn't know we had broken up.

Although my brother knew the inside story, he didn't say anything. When he handed me a large sum of "tuition fees," he probably felt a little heartache. He certainly hadn't expected the price of having sex with his "prostitute" sister to be so high.

(VIII) When I arrived

in Wang Jianbi's city, he was already waiting for me at the station. That evening, after we ate out, he took me home. It was August, and the room was stuffy, but he couldn't wait to take off my clothes.

Just as he was about to pull down my jeans, he seemed to suddenly remember something, handing me a piece of chewing gum-like stuff, saying, "Hehe, this will make you more open." Without thinking, I chewed it, while he was already caressing my labia. I felt a strange warmth slowly rising from my lower body, making my heart race and my mouth dry, so I spread my legs wide, exposing my genitals completely, and began to caress my breasts with both hands.

He mounted me, moving his body to my chest, placing his slightly hot thing in my cleavage, indicating that I should massage him with my breasts. I squeezed my breasts together forcefully, and he, surrounded by the tender flesh of my breasts, still couldn't resist, thrusting in and out like he was having sex. I felt some fluid coming from his glans, and as his penis moved back and forth, the foreskin retracted and expanded, stimulating the most sensitive nerves in my breasts.

He put that dark thing to my mouth, and I took it in without hesitation, gently biting it with my teeth. Perhaps this was a bit stimulating; his breathing became heavy. Suddenly, he pressed his entire lower body against my face, his penis thrusting in and out of my mouth. His actions made my throat itch, but I couldn't cough, feeling somewhat suffocated, yet unable to resist, I could only shake my head from side to side. I felt his penis begin to swell, and suddenly regained my senses, desperately pushing him away, but a few drops of semen still shot onto my face.

This time, his penis didn't soften after ejaculation (I guessed he must have taken drugs), he forcefully spread my legs and thrust inside. However, after that teasing, my vagina had secreted a lot of fluid, making his thrusts too lubricated, and I didn't feel much pleasure. He spread his legs apart, clamping mine tightly between them, and I secretly exerted force in my genitals, trying to squeeze him even tighter.

His movements were very rapid, but because he had to clamp my legs, the contact wasn't very deep. Often, with each thrust, my vagina couldn't hold it, and his penis would pull out, forcing him to thrust in again. I discovered that when his penis entered my body, I would tremble with excitement, so I begged him to pull out a few more times before inserting it again.

We rolled off the bed onto the floor, not caring that we were covered in dust. During intercourse, he breathed heavily, and I moaned passionately; our duet was perfectly synchronized, and the mingling of our fluids created a "squirting" sound, while my buttocks slapped the floor with a "slapping" sound—it was incredibly lively.

We continued like this frantically for thirty minutes, both of us drenched in sweat and feeling utterly exhausted. Fortunately, he ejaculated then, and his hot semen aroused me even more, causing me to toss my body up and down repeatedly.

The next day, he went to work, and I slept until ten o'clock. This often happened afterward, and I suddenly felt a little lonely. There was almost nothing left for us to say to each other.

He only occasionally mentioned Sun Yannan to me, his words tinged with mockery. Yes, Sun Yannan couldn't sleep with me for three years, but he did it in three hours. Would I seem cheap in other people's eyes, even in Wang Jianbi's?

One day, he came home dejected. That night, we drank heavily at dinner, and after finishing, he pushed me down and started having sex. But halfway through, he vomited all over me, leaving a mess on my chest. He seemed oblivious, remaining motionless, and after a while, he started snoring.

I helped him to bed and washed myself repeatedly in the dark, suddenly thinking of Sun Yannan. We lived in the same city, yet I'd never seen him. He must be a junior in college now. Because of me, his close relationship with Wang Jianbi had vanished, and Wang Jianbi hadn't contacted him.

Suddenly, I wanted to see Sun Yannan, but I certainly wouldn't let Wang Jianbi take me. Having been here for so long, he'd kept me in his room, having sex with me whenever he had the chance. He hadn't taken me anywhere, so I didn't even know where Sun Yannan's school was. And I was already past my prime; what good would seeing him do?

The next day, Wang Jianbi didn't get up for work. I assumed he was drunk and didn't think much of it. But the third and fourth days were the same, and that's when I found out he'd lost his job. He'd occasionally sneak out to look for work, and when he came back, he wouldn't tell me anything, just take me out for sex. I was getting anxious. I told him that it was better for two people to look for work than one, and asked him to take me to look for work too. He hesitated for a while, but finally agreed.

I found a job much more easily than him. On my first day out, I found a job as a sales clerk in a shopping mall, while he hadn't made any progress. After I started working, he talked to me even less. I knew he must be very insecure; we didn't have sex often anymore, and when we did, he'd ejaculate before I even felt any pleasure. My desires were becoming increasingly unfulfilled, and finally, I started having an affair with a boy in the same department.

That day, I took the bus with that boy to his place for a tryst. The bus happened to pass by the north gate of Sun Yannan's university, and we unexpectedly met. I saw him as he boarded through the front door. In just over six months, he had gained a lot of weight, greatly obscuring his handsome features. Although he was smiling, a hint of melancholy lingered in his eyes. I longed to see him, but I didn't want to meet him like this. So

, I buried my face in the arm of the boy beside me. He still saw me, a startled glance, his eyes immediately stinging. It seemed he not only recognized me instantly but still cared about me. My mind was in turmoil; I didn't even notice when he got off the bus.

A few days later, a guy named Zhao Guofu came to visit Wang Jianbi. After he left, Wang Jianbi closed the door and sat down in front of me with a gloomy expression. I lowered my head under his gaze, immediately sensing something was wrong.

Sure enough, he asked me which man I'd been seeing lately. I hesitated and wouldn't say, so he slapped me hard across the face. I was stunned. He probably realized he'd acted too impulsively and quickly touched my face, apologizing. He told me, "You had to let Sun Yannan see it! Where do I put my face now? Not only did Sun Yannan see it, but he also told Zhao Guofu. You've really given me a huge cuckold's horns!" I didn't know what to say and cried.

(IX) People Grow Cold

After that incident, Wang Jianbi apologized to me repeatedly, and I also felt I'd gone too far, so I quit my job and quickly reconciled with him. However, his sexual function seemed to decline day by day, and I could only masturbate when he wasn't around to quench my thirst.

The weather gradually got colder, but Wang Jianbi still hadn't found a job, and I was lazy and didn't really want to look for work anymore. Wang Jianbi didn't have much savings to begin with, and the few thousand yuan I brought from home was almost gone. We were facing an unprecedented predicament.

I couldn't bear to cut my long hair, so I had to wash it frequently. But we were so poor we couldn't even afford shampoo, so I had to use soap. To make matters worse, Wang Jianbi contracted a strange illness. First, he coughed up black phlegm, then he vomited blood. I urged him to go to the hospital, but he struggled to say he was fine. However, his body grew weaker day by day, so we had to go home.

That winter back home was very difficult for me. Wang Jianbi was undergoing treatment, so naturally he couldn't do *that* with me, and my brother took advantage of the situation, raping me again and again. Although it brought me pleasure, my guilt grew daily.

That winter night, I often received unknown phone calls, often late at night. When I answered, the other end wouldn't say a word until I hung up. I guessed it might be Sun Yannan; perhaps he just wanted to hear my voice. A strong sense of guilt rose within me towards him.

The following year, Wang Jianbi's condition improved somewhat, and we returned to that city. But this time, Wang Jianbi's luck was even worse. Not only could he not find a suitable job, but he was also repeatedly cheated by labor agencies, wasting a lot of energy and money.

One day, he told me painfully, "It seems they won't let me stay here. I'm thinking of going to Guangzhou to see what it's like." He asked for my opinion, but because I was thinking of Sun Yannan, I decided to stay. So he made a promise with me to come back to see me in the winter, and then he packed his bags and headed south.

After he left, I started looking for a job and quickly found a promotional job for a brand of liquor. This allowed me to support myself and even afford to splurge occasionally. Time flew by, and winter arrived quickly. Sun Yannan was now a senior

in college. During my breaks, I often went to his campus. I would sit by the Weeping Lake (also known as Swan Lake) for a long time. Occasionally, college students would try to flirt with me, but I was uninterested. Although we would hug and kiss, we never slept together. I often secretly followed behind Sun Yannan, but I didn't have the courage to go up and say a word to him. Winter deepened, and Wang Jianbi finally disappeared, as I had expected.

Winter is the peak season for alcohol sales, and many customers drink the alcohol I promote. When they get drunk, they inevitably start touching me inappropriately. Anyway, I'm not a virgin, so I'm quite open-minded about it, and I can take this opportunity to make some extra money. I'm quite adept at the entertainment industry. I've gradually come to realize that men aren't very interested in overly submissive women; they often prefer to encounter obstacles when trying to conquer them.

In fact, men have an innate desire to rape, just as women have an innate desire to be raped. So, in front of customers, I often pretend to be unwilling, desperately protecting my body and not letting them easily take off my clothes. This trick is very effective, and I've conquered many seasoned veterans of the entertainment industry with it.

(X) Lost in the World

During the New Year, I didn't go home. All the other girls had left, and there were very few girls left to promote alcohol at the hotel. That day, a middle-aged boss was hosting a dinner party at the hotel, and I went in to promote our alcohol. He readily accepted.

To be honest, although the boss was middle-aged, he was very charming, and I decided to seduce him. Because I was dressed scantily in the air-conditioned private room, I intentionally or unintentionally touched the boss's face, back, and arms with my breasts while pouring drinks. Each time I touched him, his eyes lit up, and he looked at me with great interest. I secretly felt smug: he'd taken the bait. The boss had a high alcohol tolerance and maintained excellent manners until the end of the banquet. Afterwards, when we went back to the private room to rest, he called me in to

settle the bill. I took the bill with me and went into his private room with a reserved air. He was slightly drunk and said, "Come here, young lady, come to me." I pretended to be oblivious to his advances, walked up to him, but stood a meter away.

He nodded, puzzled, and asked me, "How old are you, little girl?" I timidly replied, "19." His eyes lit up again, and he continued talking about random things before getting to the point: "Little sister, would you like to keep me company tonight?" I took a step back and said, "No, boss, I have to go home right now." "Go home what!" He stood up, grabbed me, and pulled me into his arms. I struggled desperately, refusing in a tearful voice, "Boss, don't do this, I'm not that kind of person, just pay my bill..." "I'll pay you all at once later, I'll give you more, hahaha!" He violently tore open my shirt, pushed me down onto the sofa, and then pulled down my pants.

I kicked my legs wildly, but not randomly, because I could see clearly. As I kicked, I helped him pull down my pants, avoiding his vital areas. I cried out softly, "Boss, please, I'm scared..." "Scared of what, baby?" he said, pulling down his own pants and thrusting his hard, hot penis inside me. "Ah..." I screamed, "It hurts!"

He thought I was really in pain, but actually, I was experiencing intense pleasure and wanted to scream. He didn't move immediately, focusing his energy, making his penis throb inside me. I deliberately turned my head away, ignoring him, and squeezed out a few tears. The boss quickly put his lips to my eyes, licking away my "tears," and then slowly moved his penis.

I still pretended to be unwilling, pushing against his chest with my hands. His belly had some excess fat, affecting our connection, and besides, I was deliberately squeezing my legs together, which annoyed him. He coaxed me like a child, saying, "Baby, don't do this, I won't mistreat you, come on." I didn't move, still feigning resistance, but this only fueled his lust. He didn't care if I was really in pain or just pretending, and began thrusting in and out. I felt incredibly satisfied, but to avoid arousing him, I feigned pain and let out moans that were both painful and ecstatic.

He was completely conquered by me and didn't last long before ejaculating inside me. Afterwards, he lingered on top of me, playing with my nipples and breasts, licking my "tears."

My performance pleased this boss, Dong Dachuan, so much that he took me as his mistress. And so, I spent my days sleeping, surfing the internet, and putting on makeup in the house he bought for me, waiting for his arrival.

Life became lonely and boring, so I began this autobiographical novel. Perhaps it's to commemorate something, or perhaps it's just to entertain the readers. Just as I was finishing this novel, I ran into Sun Yannan again.

The day before yesterday, I was strolling around my neighborhood when I saw a familiar figure walking not far away. I ran over and called out, "Sun Yannan!" He turned around, looking at me with a complicated expression. He had clearly lost a lot of weight, back to how he looked when we first met.

Seeing his tall and handsome figure, my heart suddenly pounded like a girl experiencing first love. Dong Dachuan happened to be out of town and wouldn't be back for a while, so I invited him to my place. He hesitated for a moment, then came with me.

As soon as the door closed, my clothes silently slipped down. Sun Yannan seemed expressionless, reaching out to caress my breasts, and I closed my eyes in satisfaction. Five years had passed, and I had finally given my body to him. Would he still care about my body? I was certain, of course, that my body was more mature and attractive than it had been five years ago, and if he were willing to possess me, I could definitely take him to paradise.

But the movement of his chest didn't continue; instead, I heard him walking towards the door. I went over and hugged him from behind, asking, "Yannan, you...?"

He gently pushed me away, his hand landing on my breast, but not lingering for long. He told me somewhat coldly, "If it were five years ago, or even a year ago, I would have gone crazy seeing you like this. But do you know how many middle school and high school students I've slept with this past year? I used to like you because of your pure, shy look, and I still like that when I like girls now. I love their tender bodies and the cries of first love during sex. I definitely won't find that in you." With that, he turned and left.

I leaned weakly against the door, listening to his footsteps grow fainter and fainter...

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