Mingming

"This afternoon? No, Mingming's sick, I don't want to leave her home alone. Can we do it another day?"
From the moment he left the room, I opened my eyes, staring blankly at the half-open door. His deep voice reached my ears intermittently. I knew he was trying to appease that girl again.
"Why does it have to be today? I told you I can't get away, and besides, what's the big deal? If we can't go today, we can go tomorrow, the cinemas are open every day..."
So they had arranged to go to the movies? I looked away, closed my eyes, and listened more intently to his words. It was strange; he deliberately lowered his voice, so softly that he only wanted the person on the other end of the phone to hear, but I could still hear him clearly. It wasn't that my hearing was particularly good; I could only hear his voice.
It was an ordinary voice, not particularly melodious, but I just liked it. As long as he spoke, even in a noisy street, even if he was far away, I could hear him. Sometimes he wouldn't say a word, just open his mouth, and I could understand what he wanted to say.
"You're like this again, getting angry so easily. If you were sick, I'd be there for you!"
Haha, even though I couldn't hear Helen's voice on the other end of the line, I could imagine her frowning and pleading with him to come and keep her company. That pretty girl, she must like his voice too, right? Otherwise, why would she call so often? She calls him before and after he comes in, after dinner, and before he goes to bed. I don't know if they call at night, because I can't possibly go into his room.
She must like his voice, and not just his voice, but him as a person. A top student from a prestigious university, handsome, and from a wealthy family—who wouldn't like a man like that?
I like him too!
"That's going too far! What's wrong with me taking care of my sick sister? I'm her only family now, of course I have to love her. Are you even jealous of Mingming?"
Unfortunately, I can't love him, because we share half blood.
Not wanting to hear his sweet words anymore, I sat up, my eyes glancing at the framed photo on the desk. The picture showed my brother and me embracing and laughing naturally and happily on the beach. That must have been my most carefree age, right?
Twelve or thirteen, unaware of the taste of sorrow, completely trusting someone, believing we could be together forever.
I laughed at my past self. Naive and foolish little girl, did you really think you could find happiness?
Stop dreaming. Now, I've even lost my beloved brother.
I heard my brother hang up the phone and go back to my room. He gently pushed open the door, saw that I was awake, and his pursed lips curved into a smile. He asked in a relaxed tone, "Are you feeling any better?"
"Yes, I'm fine now."
"That's great, I was really worried your illness would flare up." He came over and sat down beside my bed, his bright black eyes looking at me. "What do you want for lunch? I'll make it."
"No need to bother, just some instant noodles will do."
As soon as I finished speaking, my brother's face changed, and he began to lecture me, saying that I ate too simply and that I didn't take care of my health. I listened to his nagging and just smiled foolishly. What good would it do to take care of myself? I would still get sick, I would still be useless, and I wouldn't live long either.
"Okay, I'll listen to you. Whatever you say is good, I'll eat it, is that alright?" I was really hungry and wanted to eat the food my brother cooked.
My brother was excellent at everything he did, and cooking was no exception. When I changed my clothes and went downstairs, he had already put the chopped vegetables into the pot and was stir-frying them. The aroma could be smelled all the way up the stairs.
I skipped and hopped into the kitchen, shouting, "It smells so good! My brother's cooking is so delicious, my future sister-in-law will be so lucky!"
He didn't respond, but instead ladled the food into plates and carried them to the table before telling me to wash my
hands and eat. I felt a bit awkward, so I just said "okay," washed my hands, and sat down.
Four dishes and a soup were a bit wasteful for the two of us, but my brother never complained and always made a variety of dishes.
He never kept any leftovers for the next meal; he threw them all away, which always broke my heart to see. This was just a rich person's little habit—not knowing how to cherish food.
I loved my brother's cooking. Before, when he occasionally cooked for me, he would save the leftovers in the refrigerator and reheat them for the next meal. Later, my brother discovered this and started watching me eat until I finished, then disposing of the leftovers himself, forbidding me from eating them. I felt helpless about this; after all, my brother was a medical student, and his germaphobia was extraordinary. However, most of the time, my brother was exasperated with me because I was too lazy and unclean, often living a messy life, and I always got scolded by him.
But I liked this state; it meant my brother would always worry about me and always think about me.
Halfway through the meal, my brother's phone rang again, and I instinctively knew it was Helen calling. My brother answered the phone, and after a few words, my guess was confirmed. Helen was calling to apologize; she cared too much about my brother, and his harsh tone had made her cry.
Sigh, if I were as beautiful and pitiful as Helen, could I also act cute with my brother and get more of his affection?
"Okay, okay, see you later..." My brother put down the phone, his face full of apology, and said to me, "Mingming, I..."
"Are you leaving?" I swallowed the food in my mouth, looked up, and said, "I'm fine now, don't worry about me, say hello to Sister Helen for me!"
Although the muscles in my face were sore, I tried my best to smile naturally. If I made things difficult for my brother and forced him to stay with me, he would be so pitiful. After sending him away, I was left alone in the house again. I suddenly felt pathetic again.
I had fallen in love with a man I couldn't love; this was my own fault, and I had no one to blame but myself.
Feeling incredibly bored, I called Yan Lai. She was my classmate and best friend. When I was in a bad mood, she was the only one I could turn to for comfort.
The phone rang seven or eight times without being answered. I thought I had dialed the wrong number and hung up to redial. This time it rang for a long time, and just as my patience was wearing thin and I was about to hang up, someone finally answered.
"Hello..." I noticed something strange about Yan Lai's voice, but without thinking much of it, I immediately said, "Yanzi, it's me. Do you have time now?"
But Yanzi didn't answer me as readily as usual. I heard a series of suppressed breaths and thought she was sick. "Yanzi, is something wrong?" I asked softly, unconsciously holding my breath. I didn't understand why, but I just felt tense.
"Please... I'm busy right now, I'll call you back in a bit..." Every word Yanzi uttered sounded like it was being spat out through gritted teeth, with a strange quality.
"Oh, okay... goodbye." Somewhat disappointed, I was still trying to decipher the message Yanzi's few words conveyed. That voice didn't sound like it would come from Yanzi; she seemed to be suppressing something.
I held the receiver to my ear, thinking Yanzi would hang up first. But suddenly, I heard Yanzi's cry.
"Ah! Be gentle..."
Then, there was the sound of the receiver hitting the table, followed by a series of moans from Yanzi.
Now I understood everything! Filled with immense curiosity and a touch of voyeuristic excitement, I listened to a live sex show. It was truly a feast for the eyes and the ears! The "feast" was my own imagination, because I knew both of them were good-looking. As for the voices... I was utterly impressed.
I never knew that the loud-voiced Yanzi could moan so delicately, plaintively, and with such a numbing, bone-chilling quality. The mere sound of sex is enough to excite anyone, and when paired with images of handsome men and beautiful women… no wonder porn films always sell so well. Just watching others do it is incredibly satisfying.
Half an hour later, I finally hung up the phone. Actually, Yanzi was still on the other end, but I couldn't listen anymore. I felt incredibly disgusted with myself; a decent girl would have hung up immediately and never gotten involved in such obscene things. But I envied Yanzi because she could share everything with the one she loved.
I thought I should bless them.
The phone rang again shortly after I hung up. I thought it was Yanzi finishing her lovemaking and remembered my lonely, pitiful friend. I quickly grabbed the phone and yelled, "You brat! What have you done?"
But this time it wasn't Yanzi calling.
"Yin Ming, this is Meng Fei."
"Huh?" I froze, my mind reeling. Clearly, I was still lost in Yanzi's lewd pleasure, eager to tease her. Meng Fei's voice suddenly made me feel guilty, as if I'd been caught doing something wrong.
"I heard you were sick, I was so worried. Are you feeling better now?"
"I just had a slight fever, but I'm all better
now, thank you." "That's great! I was so afraid something might happen to you. I couldn't get through on the phone, I was so anxious."
"Oh, I was just chatting with Yanzi, hehe...hehe..."
I knew my face must be very red without even looking in a mirror. Touching my feverish cheeks, I awkwardly chuckled into the phone. But I wasn't entirely lying; Yanzi kept calling, and I was listening through the receiver—it was a kind of "chat," I suppose.
Meng Fei was my classmate, and he was also quite close to Yanzi. He dated Yanzi for a while, but her heart wasn't with him at all. Meng Fei must have realized this, and he broke up with her, then started pursuing me instead. He knew I didn't like him, but he never gave up. In my opinion, he did it on purpose, finding this chase game very interesting, and he hadn't gotten tired of it after three years.
He said in a childlike tone, "Ah Bin wants to go out to dinner with me tonight. They all bring their girlfriends, and I'm all alone, it's so pitiful. Will you come with me?"
"I'm not your girlfriend."
"Can't you pretend to be my girlfriend? They all know I've been pursuing you for a long time... If you don't come with me, they'll laugh at me to death! Please have mercy and help me!" "
No, my fever just broke. What if I get sick again if I go out in the wind? I don't want to be hospitalized again."
"You sound so energetic, how can you be sick!"
"I am a patient now, I need to rest. Bye, I'm hanging up..." I hurriedly hung up the phone.
It's Meng Fei's business if he loses face, I don't care. Yanzi had even advised me before, saying that Meng Fei and I would make a good couple. But I didn't want to. My heart only belongs to my brother. If I can't get his love, I'd rather be alone than settle for someone else.
Even if Meng Fei is handsome, I don't want him!
The phone rang again as soon as I hung up. I answered, raising my voice, "I said I'm not going, don't bother me anymore!"
"Mingming, what happened?"
Oh no, it's my brother again. He asked me in a low voice why I said that. I could only obediently answer, "My classmates asked me to go out, but I don't want to go."
"That's good, you've just recovered from your illness, rest well at home."
I hummed in agreement and asked my brother, "Is something wrong?" But then I heard Helen's sweet voice on the other end, "Ren, you've been out for a long time, everyone's waiting for you."
It's Helen again! She really can't be without her brother for a moment!
They went out today, met a group of friends, and arranged to go out for a party together. My brother just wanted to tell me that he would be socializing until late and wouldn't be able to come see me today. Because I had been on the phone with Yanzi and Mengfei, I couldn't get through to my brother, so I was a little late. My brother asked me, and I explained, but Helen couldn't wait even for a short while.
I know she can't tolerate me being close to my brother. Helen also knows that my feelings for my brother go beyond those of siblings. So she harbored great hostility towards me, which my brother could see. The relationship between the three of us was complex, yet simple.
My brother and I were impossible; Helen's meticulous guarding against me was completely unnecessary.
Helen dragged my brother back, and he could only offer me a few hurried words before ending the conversation. At that moment, I was heartbroken. I understood all the reasons, yet I felt incredibly wronged. I refused my friends' invitations while my brother and his girlfriend went out to have fun; I waited anxiously at home while the two of them spent the entire night together… What was the point of me foolishly remaining chaste for someone who loved me? Was there
anyone more foolish than me in this world?
Sitting there until the sun began to set, I felt a little hungry, and remembering my brother's words about eating well, tears immediately streamed down my face. For whom did I obey? For whom was my sorrow? Since I realized I loved my brother when I was fifteen, I had never lived for myself again. My heart was always with my brother, thinking of him day and night. I loved him to death, yet I painfully suppressed it. I'm only eighteen, why am I acting like I'm eighty!
With a "what the hell" attitude, I angrily called Meng Fei, "I'm hungry, can you take me out to eat?
I'll do whatever you say then."
"Yin Ming, are you alright?"
My change was so drastic that Meng Fei couldn't believe it, thinking I was teasing him.
I yelled at him, "You're really something! When I ignored you, you were chasing after me every day. Now that I'm offering myself up, you're scared. If you don't like me, I'll just find someone else, I have plenty of suitors!"
"No, no, no, don't look for anyone else, I want you. I like you!" Meng Fei said a string of "I like you," making us both laugh.
I said I wanted to eat something delicious. He said that as long as I dressed up nicely and outshone his buddy's girlfriend, he'd buy me anything. This wasn't flirting at all; it was more like a transaction. Following Meng Fei's instructions, I showered, changed, put on makeup, and combed my hair—the whole process took only half an hour. I took a car to the agreed-upon location and appeared before Meng Fei in less than an hour, startling him.
"So fast! I thought I'd have to wait at least two hours," he said with a smile, looking me up and down.
"I'm hungry. Wait for you to take me to eat something good," I replied with a charming smile, turning around and asking, "Am I pretty?"
"Pretty! You've always been pretty."
Although he wasn't the one I loved, I was still happy to be complimented by a handsome guy. Meng Fei got up to pay and led me out of the coffee shop. Thinking we were going to a party, I tugged at his arm and asked coquettishly, "Where are you taking me, a fancy restaurant?" I knew his family was very wealthy, with more pocket money than he could ever spend.
So Meng Fei wouldn't settle for a cheap place.
He looked down at me, his expression strange, and said, "Yin Ming, you're acting so cuddly today, it makes me feel uneasy."
"You shameless bastard, do you only feel comfortable when I give you a hard time?" I glared at him, wrinkling my nose and making a face.
Meng Fei laughed and said, "No, it's just that you seem really strange today, not like the usual Yin Ming."
Hearing this, I laughed too, my expression happy, but inside I wanted to cry. What am I supposed to be like? I don't even know.
When I was little, living with my mother, I was always mindful of other people's feelings and endured their ridicule. Later, living with relatives, I tried my best to play the role of a good daughter and a good sister. I've acted my whole life; I've long forgotten what I'm really like.
"Wouldn't it be better if I treated you better?" I said with a smile, "That way I can fool your friends." I was even hungrier now, wishing I could go eat right away.
“Yeah, those people used to laugh at me, I’m going to make them furious today!” Meng Fei’s eyes lit up as he spoke. He glanced at me again, thinking my clothes weren’t good enough, and told me to go buy a new one.
“Why?” I asked, puzzled. “I look great in this!” I put on my prettiest dress, which I loved so much that I’d only worn it less than ten times in the two years I’d owned it.
“No reason, they only care about the brand. They think it’s a good dress because it has a label.”
“Nonsense! Designer clothes are just clothes with a label on them.”
Meng Fei grabbed my hand and laughed, “It is boring, that’s why I like your natural style. Come on, I’ll buy it for you. Aren’t you happy to get a free gift?”
“You’d better just give me the money for the clothes, I’ll buy a fake, I guarantee you won’t be able to tell the difference.”
“You little money-grubber!”
In the end, Meng Fei still bought me a high-fashion outfit and a pair of shoes. I have to admit that the high-end clothing was indeed well-designed and well-made, but it was definitely not worth the price. My mother used to work in a garment factory, sewing hundreds, even thousands, of clothes every day, but only earning a few dozen yuan a month. I knew the dress I was wearing wouldn't cost more than 50 yuan, but it was priced at 1880. After Meng Fei bought it, I wanted to cry for my mother.
"Okay, I bought you something, why are you looking at me so sadly!" Meng Fei frowned and led me out of the boutique.
He wouldn't understand my feelings, just as I couldn't understand him. Meng Fei asking me to be his girlfriend wasn't simply because I was pretty. Meng Fei was rich and handsome, but not a playboy. Sometimes he was all smiles, but his eyes seemed to be crying—in that respect, we were quite similar.
Driving to the party venue, we followed the waiter up to the second floor of the restaurant. Before entering the private room, I grabbed Meng Fei and asked, "Am I pretty enough? Won't I be outshone by others?" For some reason, at that moment I became insecure, feeling like a stray dog that had wandered into a garden.
Meng Fei laughed, reached out and touched my face, saying, "Yin Ming, you're very beautiful. You know I have very high standards."
"And how do I compare to Helen? She's much prettier than me, right?"
I asked. Meng Fei's smile deepened when I mentioned Helen; I felt like he knew something about me. He leaned down and kissed me, whispering in my ear, "She can't compare to you. She's had plastic surgery..."
This news was too shocking; I didn't have time to process it before the door to the private room opened. Meng Fei's friends, who happened to be inside, witnessed this and started teasing us.
"Hey! You two are so unrestrained! You haven't even entered the room yet, and you're already kissing. I should have booked a room first, so you could use the facilities before coming out."
As soon as the person at the door finished speaking, the people inside also peeked out and echoed him, making Meng Fei and me feel embarrassed.
"Go away, go away, if you're envious, just say so, no need to be so sour!" Meng Fei was quick-witted; he jokingly diffused the awkwardness, put his arm around me, and led me into the private room, not forgetting to tell his friends, "Mingming is mine, none of you can take her away!"
After he said that, I laughed along, starting to think that dating Meng Fei wasn't so bad, at least I'd be happier.
We sat down at the table reserved for us, and Meng Fei thoughtfully ordered for me. He said, "Aren't you hungry? Try this first, fill your stomach, there'll be better food later." At that moment, my nose stung with tears, because the boy next to me was so much better than I'd imagined. Abin and his girlfriends kept staring at Meng Fei. I could see the envy in their eyes, a little happy, then sad.
I thought of the time when it was my father's birthday, and I hid in my room, too afraid to go out. My brother found me, took my hand, and brought me downstairs, asking me to sit next to him. Because I was an illegitimate child brought home, even the servants looked down on me.
My father was afraid to speak up for me because of my aunt's concern. I was like a frightened little rabbit, barely daring to breathe.
My brother asked me, "Are you hungry?" His smile was so beautiful.
I looked at him, too nervous to speak. But my brother could see through my thoughts and immediately put food on my plate, taking care of me as I ate. He said then, "Eat this first, don't eat too much, there will be better food later."
Now I am no longer that timid little orphan, but hearing the same words still moves me deeply.
Meng Fei took out a tissue and wiped away the tears from the corners of my eyes. He laughed at me, "Look at you, even if the food is delicious, it's not worth crying." Everyone present thought we had a deep bond, praising us while also making a few teasing remarks.
I ate very well, smiling the whole time. But the more I smiled, the more my chest ached. Meng Fei can't replace my brother; when I'm with him, I constantly see my brother's shadow in him.
I'm truly hopeless.
A recently popular song suddenly started playing, and many people looked down to find their phones. I chuckled inwardly, thinking how tacky these people were, using such an overplayed song as their ringtone. But when everyone's eyes were on me, I realized: it was my phone ringing!
That wretched Yanzi, she must have changed my ringtone!
I blushed and ran out to answer it.
That girl! It took her so long to remember me, did she just "quit her game"?
"Are you done with your work?" I blurted out, "Feeling good? Great, right?"
"You found out!" Yanzi chuckled, "When did you find out?"
"Just today!"
I discovered Yanzi's forbidden secret, but she wasn't worried at all, because I wouldn't tell anyone. I love my older brother, and Yanzi loves her younger brother; our secrets are too similar, which is why we're so close.
Yanzi asked me, "What did you want to talk to me about this afternoon?"
"I was feeling down and wanted to chat."
"Your brother went on another date?" She knew immediately what was bothering me.
"Hmm..." I drawled, my mood sinking again as I thought of my brother and Helen together.
"Honestly, you're always worrying all the time. Can't you just tell your brother? If not, you can just never see him again!"
"It's not that easy! I can't say it..." A waiter pushed a food cart past, and I took a few steps back to make way. Yanzi laughed at me for being too timid; she dared to confront her brother. Now the two of them are inseparable, living a decadent and promiscuous life, enjoying themselves like gods.
"Don't compare me to you. I could never say those words, even if you killed me."
"Then you can just wait your whole life and see if your brother will come and say he loves you!"
"Yanzi..." I sighed softly, "I'm very negative. I can't change it." She was right. If this continues, I'll never get out of this predicament.
"Where are you? Do you want me to come over and keep you company?"
"No need, I'm eating out with Mengfei."
"Mengfei! You've finally come to your senses. It's good to change your target."
I smiled bitterly and told Yanzi about my worries, afraid that my unfaithful attitude would hurt Mengfei. But Yanzi said, "Don't worry, Meng Fei isn't only infatuated with you. Back then, I used him to provoke Huihui, and Meng Fei wasn't angry at all when he found out. The girls he pursues aren't even his type, so you don't need to take it too seriously."
It seemed to make sense. When Meng Fei's gaze met mine, it was as if he was looking through me at someone else. He never got angry whenever I ignored him. If he really liked me, he would have run away long ago. It was precisely because he didn't care about me that he had the patience to play along. Understanding this made me feel much more relaxed. Having a casual relationship with Meng Fei—if we could fall for each other, great; if not, neither of us would be too heartbroken.
I laughed and hung up the phone, only then realizing I was standing in front of the women's restroom. I turned to leave, then turned back. Strange sounds came from inside, like a girl crying. The sobs were accompanied by weak pleas, and there were occasional thuds.
"No! Too fast... I can't take it... Ah..."
Oh my god, this is the second time today!
I stared at the restroom door, wondering if I was just incredibly lucky or incredibly unlucky, why did this always happen to me!
Looking around, seeing no one in the hallway, I gently turned the doorknob and found it was locked from the inside. Good, the person inside at least had some self-awareness, remembering to maintain some privacy even in a public place.
The sounds from inside grew louder; I didn't even need to strain my ears to hear the girl's cries: "No, no, don't ejaculate inside... Ah, ah..."
It sounded like she was in great pain, more pitiful than a swallow's cry. I couldn't understand, do people have to become so frantic when they're doing that kind of thing?
While I was lost in thought, a hand suddenly landed on my shoulder, startling me so much I almost screamed.
"What are you doing? Why haven't you come back yet?" Meng Fei, seeing my shaken expression, was puzzled. "What happened?"
"N-nothing, I was waiting to use the restroom."
Meng Fei looked up and saw the sign on the door beside me, laughing, "Just go in, why wait outside?"
"The door's locked..." Even though someone else was making love inside, I felt guilty and wanted to disappear into the floor.
"Silly girl, there's a restroom over there in the hallway."
"That's the men's room."
"Oh, then we can go downstairs. Don't wait here, it might be broken inside, they didn't even put up a note."
Luckily, the people inside had calmed down, and Meng Fei hadn't heard anything. He grabbed my hand to lead me away, but the restroom door opened at that moment. A chill ran down my spine. Oh no, Meng Fei definitely knew I'd been eavesdropping. He turned around, as if to say something, but suddenly stopped. I heard the girl sobbing, and without even the courage to turn back, I threw myself into Meng Fei's arms, not wanting those two people to see my face. I was too ashamed to face anyone…
Meng Fei laughed, and I could feel his chest vibrating. He said to the people who came out, “Teacher, you're here to eat too?”
I froze. Were they teachers from the school? I buried my face even deeper; how embarrassing it would be if a teacher recognized me.
“And you?” the man asked.
“My classmates and I came for a casual meal. Would you like to come along, teacher?”
“No, we have something to do, we'll be leaving now.”
During their conversation, I was like an ostrich, my childish and ridiculous behavior making it all clear to them what I had done. But I was just too ashamed to lift my head. Meng Fei whispered in my ear, “Okay, they're gone.”
I heard their footsteps recede into the distance before I finally looked up. Out of curiosity, I turned to look at their backs. Just then, the girl also turned to look at me. We stared at each other for a few seconds before she and her lover walked to the stairs and disappeared from my sight. The girl was surprisingly young, with a fair and delicate face; she looked only a teenager. I was certain she was underage.
"That girl..."
"She's his student, two grades below us." Meng Fei smiled, seemingly enjoying himself as I remained close to him.
I pushed him away and stood up straight. I couldn't accuse Meng Fei of taking advantage of me; after all, I was the one who had pressed myself against him. I turned and went back to the private room. I hadn't gone two steps when Meng Fei caught up and spoke very close behind me. His voice was soft and gentle, yet it struck my heart like a hammer blow.
"Yin Ming, so you're not such a good girl after all..."
I glared at him and pushed open the door to the private room. Back at my seat, I drank something and chatted for a while. Before I knew it, it was midnight. I checked my phone and realized it was dead. Meng Fei saw this and asked if I wanted to go home.
I nodded, and he told his friends he'd take me home.
Abin, displeased, yelled, "You two finally get to go out together, can't you stay a little longer!"
"It's too late, I'm worried Mingming will get tired,"
someone else said. "Wow, so considerate of your girlfriend!"
"I'm so envious! Why go home? Let's go upstairs and get a few rooms, we can all stay here overnight."
"That won't do, Mingming can't stay out overnight," Mengfei said with a smile, pulling my hand and trying to lead me out.
Abin blocked the way at the door, saying to Mengfei, "Since Mingming is your girlfriend, what's wrong with staying overnight?
Haven't you touched her yet?"
I knew Abin and his friends weren't exactly innocent; he was deliberately making things difficult for us. I looked at Mengfei, not worried about what he might do to me.
"Yeah, I haven't touched Mingming, so what?"
Unexpectedly, Mengfei readily admitted it.
Several girls nearby laughed, saying, "Are there still adult virgins in this world? That's rare."
I was furious. Does it have to be like them, sleeping with men so casually, to be considered normal? The atmosphere in the private room gradually became awkward. Everyone started targeting us, or more precisely, me. It was as if I had wronged Meng Fei by refusing to have sex with him, and it was all my fault. At that moment, I was so angry that I thought I should just drag Meng Fei to a hotel room; I didn't care about my hymen at all.
Meng Fei noticed my anger and put his arm around my shoulder, saying to them, "It's not that Mingming doesn't want to, it's that I don't want to.
I want to save my first time for our wedding day, is that not allowed?"
Abin was dumbfounded, frowning and asking Meng Fei, "Are you even a man?"
Meng Fei was no simpleton either. He smiled handsomely and said to everyone, "Whether I'm a man or not doesn't need to be proven by spending money to buy women. If I really want to pick up a girl, none of you can beat me."
Later, I learned that Meng Fei's physique was undeniably amazing. Both the visible and invisible parts were far superior to those overweight guys. It's a pity that his first time didn't end with me; sometimes, thinking about it, I still feel quite regretful.
Meng Fei drove me home; it was a gift from his family when he got into university. And I became the first girl to get on that car. We were chatting and laughing when we first got on, but as we approached home, I gradually became depressed. What's the point of going back? I'd be all alone anyway, so it's better to have Meng Fei with me now.
The car stopped at the door, and Meng Fei got off first, then turned around to open the car door for me. He smiled at me and said, "Get in."
But I stopped, looking at his handsome face, and slowly asked, "Meng Fei, you don't like me, right?"
He didn't answer, his smile faded.
I continued, "What a pity, I'm starting to want to be with you now, but you have someone else in your heart, am I right?"
Meng Fei started smiling again, his eyes sparkling, "I like you, Yin Ming."
"But you have no desire for me."
"That's because I cherish you..."
"Who are you kidding?" I laughed, "I'm not that old, but I'm not clueless either. You've always acted like you're pursuing me, but you're just acting, putting on an act for the person in your heart."
I only understood all this after hearing Yanzi's words. I was so focused on my own infatuation that I neglected all other boys, so I didn't realize Meng Fei was just like me. He used me as a shield, and I took advantage of him. We're really in the same boat.
"Yin Ming, I really like you. I think you're a good girl, and I think I'd be very happy if I were with you."
"Meng Fei, why do you look so cute today?" Touched, I walked up to him and kissed him. I turned to leave, but he grabbed me.
"Why only kiss my cheek?" Meng Fei grinned mischievously, pointing to his lips, "Give me another kiss here!"
"Ugh! What if I fall in love with you after I kiss you?"
"Wouldn't that be great? We'd be a couple, and all our worries would be gone."
I was persuaded by him and really wanted to try kissing a guy. I slowly approached him, almost touching his lips, but then I couldn't bring myself to kiss him. Meng Fei's face was so close to mine that I couldn't see his expression at all, only that his eyes were bright and he was always smiling.
"Never mind, your expression makes it look like I'm teasing you." Meng Fei kissed me on the cheek and let go, as if saying goodbye. I watched him drive away, feeling like we were both so silly. Flirting with someone I don't love feels nothing.
I gave up on the elevator and climbed from the first floor to my seventh-floor apartment. I walked slowly, but I still made it home. I started to regret not asking Yanzi to come and keep me company. Reluctantly, I opened the door. The room was pitch black; I was alone again.
I sighed, opened the living room curtains, and after calming myself, I heard faint noises coming from the master bedroom. A little scared, I went into the room and found the TV was on. I went to the TV to turn it off when a male voice behind me said, "You're only coming back now?"
I was terrified, my whole body convulsing. Anyone would be startled if a man suddenly appeared behind them in the dark. I felt my heart was about to jump out of my chest. It took me a long time to realize that the man in the room was my brother.
I turned to face him, clutching my chest, and asked, "Brother, didn't you have a date?"
He didn't answer immediately, but slowly walked towards me from the balcony door, stopping in front of the TV. The light from the screen shone on his face, and I could see how tense his expression was.
"Where's Helen?" My voice was hoarse. I'd never seen my brother so angry. "Did you two have a fight?"
"I was worried about you. I called all night, but no one answered at home, and your phone was off. Where did you go?"
"I... I went out with friends..."
"Who did you go out with? Why didn't you turn on your phone?" He asked me harshly, his face radiating coldness.
"My phone died! Why are you being so mean to me? It's not like I made you angry!"
I felt wronged. My brother and Helen had a fight, but he was taking it out on me. This was the first time he'd been so fierce with me, his eyes blazing with anger, his gaze terrifying me.
"Didn't you say you weren't going out? Why are you out until now? You just recovered from being sick." My brother moved closer to me, and I could smell the alcohol on him.
"I was hungry, and Meng Fei was going to treat me to dinner, so I went with him."
"Was it Meng Fei who brought you back?" My brother's brows furrowed deeply.
"You saw it all?" My eyes widened. My brother must have seen us kiss.
"What's your relationship with him now? Are you friends with the male lead?"
"I'm so old, it's normal to have a boyfriend!"
"Mingming!" He called out to me, taking another step forward.
"Get away!" I stepped back, "Don't take your anger out on me if you've had a bad day outside!" I cried as I spoke, unable to tolerate my brother treating me like this. He had always been so gentle with me, never raising his voice at me. But today, reeking of alcohol, he forcefully questioned me, making me feel that even the last bit of affection he had for me had vanished.
"Mingming... I'm worried about you! You're still too young." Seeing my tears, my brother finally softened.
He tried to reach out to wipe my tears, but I dodged him.
"This isn't fair." I choked out, "When Helen was with you, she was about my age now...
Mengfei and I just went out to eat, and he's always been very good to me."
I tried to leave the room, but my brother grabbed my hand and asked, "So you like him?"
I turned and glared at him, saying, "Yes, I like him, are you going to interfere?"
My brother suddenly pulled my hand hard, and I fell, only to be pulled into his arms. I was stunned, not understanding why he did this. I heard his mournful whispers in my ear, "No, don't like anyone but me..."
I started sobbing, unable to hold back my tears any longer. "You're drunk! Do you know who I am? I'm not Helen, I'm your sister, I'm Mingming!"
My brother hugged me tighter, I couldn't breathe, and I heard him sigh, "I know, Mingming, the person I like is you."
He said the words I most wanted to hear, but I couldn't believe it. Was I dreaming? How could my brother say this to me...? Feeling my stiffness, my brother slowly released me. He smiled, a bitter smile. My legs went weak, and I plopped down on the bed behind me. My brother then bent down, squatted in front of me, and looked up at me with slightly raised eyes.
“I’m telling the truth. I’ve liked you for many years, since I was little, the kind of liking you have for a woman.”
I asked him, “What about Helen? Why are you with her again?”
“I tried. I thought being with her would help me forget you. But today I saw Meng Fei bringing you back from the balcony… and you two… kissed. I can’t take it. Do you know how angry I am? I don’t think I can treat you like a sister anymore. If you can’t accept me, then I’ll leave and never see you again.”
“Why leave?”
“Because it’s too painful…”
I cried even harder because I knew that feeling all too well. Missing someone when you can’t see them, and heartbroken when you do, constantly torturing yourself for a forbidden love you can’t touch. Now, I know my brother’s feelings. He loves me too. I gazed into his dark eyes and said, “Brother, Meng Fei isn’t my boyfriend. The person I love is you. What should we do?”
He got up and hugged me tightly. Because of his strength, I fell backward, pinned to the bed by my brother.
I felt his body was hot and hard, trembling slightly. But I wasn't afraid at all. I whispered in his ear, "Brother, since we love each other, why have we suffered for so long?"
"I don't know, maybe we're both too foolish."
I laughed through my tears; I was indeed quite foolish. But my brother wasn't foolish at all. He was the top student in our high school and got into a prestigious medical school. However, when my brother cupped my face and started kissing me, I was truly stunned. He was sucking my saliva, his tongue inside my mouth. I passively endured it, almost forgetting to breathe.
My brother propped himself up, smiling as he asked, "I'm going to do something bad to you. If you don't like it, at least resist a little, right?"
"I didn't say I didn't like it."
"So you like it?"
My brother laughed so happily. He squinted at me, his eyes sparkling, and upon closer inspection, I realized they were tears glistening. I raised my hand to wipe away his tears, but before I could touch them, they had already dripped onto my face, a little itchy, and warm.
"Why are you laughing?" I asked. His expression was smiling, but tears were still streaming down his face.
"Because I'm so happy, Mingming, I love you so much..."
He finished speaking and lowered his head to kiss me again, even more passionately than before, as if he wanted to suck my soul out.
I quietly savored the kiss. If it were my brother, I would give him my life, let alone my body. Actually, it was something I had been looking forward to for a long time.
As he slowly kissed my entire body, I began to make the same cries as Yanzi and that girl. My brother's kisses traveled down my body, from my face to my chest, leaving patches of red marks. I cried out repeatedly, aroused and hot from his teasing, and my brother, hearing my cries, became even more unbearable. He was eager to take off my dress, but it was stuck at my waist and he couldn't get it off.
"Is this dress new? I've never seen you wear it." His hands trembled as he clumsily searched, but he couldn't find the zipper on the side of my waist.
I said breathlessly, "Meng Fei bought it for me..." Just as I was about to reach for it, my brother tore the dress apart first.
The bra underneath was open, hanging diagonally on my body, revealing half of my breast. My brother's breathing immediately became heavy. He grabbed the torn dress and threw it off the bed. I felt so sorry for him. "That dress was so expensive, and I only wore it for one day... Ah!" My brother lowered his head and bit my left nipple, and I screamed in pain.
“I’ll buy you new ones from now on. Don’t wear clothes bought by other men anymore.”
As he spoke, his hot breath sprayed onto my chest, and all my attention was focused there, feeling as if my breasts were swelling. I weakly said, “Okay!” and couldn’t think of anything else.
My brother took off my underwear, making sure I was soaking wet. He spread my legs and placed his body between them. I wasn’t afraid that he would see my most private parts, but I still closed my eyes nervously. My brother’s penis was so big; I didn’t know if I could fit it. “Mingming, don’t be afraid, I’ll take you to heaven…” my brother coaxed me, wanting me to see where we were joined. His penis pushed open the petals, rubbed a few times, and squeezed in along the slit.
“Ah!” It didn’t hurt as much as I had imagined, but I still cried out.
It hurt a little at first, but then it became numb. We repeated the primal movements, faster and faster. I felt myself fainting, so I screamed, "Brother, brother!"
I thought he would stop and let me catch my breath, but he went faster and faster, his penis thrusting and throbbing inside me, making my whole body convulse as if electrocuted. I screamed, grabbed my brother, and slashed his back. These were all unconscious actions; only afterwards did I realize how crazy I had been.
My brother thrust heavily several times, finally burying himself inside me, his huge penis filling me completely, throbbing constantly. Just when I thought he was about to ejaculate, he suddenly withdrew, his semen spilling out, staining the sheets and splashing onto me. Only then was it over. We were both too exhausted to speak, lying close together on the bed, just quietly listening to each other's heartbeats. Feeling them slowly calm down, I felt so happy I wanted to cry.
Much later, I asked my brother, "Aren't you going home today?"
"No." "
Then Auntie will ask."
"She can't control me..."
My brother was right; we couldn't control that much either. Since there was no bright future, we might as well seize the present. I laughed, tilted my head up, and kissed my brother on the cheek, saying, "Do you know how long I've liked you?"
"How long?"
"So long that I don't even know when I started liking you..."
My brother laughed too, cupping my face and trying to kiss me. Just then, my phone rang. He protested, telling me not to answer, but the phone kept ringing. I got out of bed and followed the sound to the living room,
where I found my phone. I'd left it there.
"Meng Fei, what's up?" I didn't know why he was calling me. I looked up and saw the open living room window, remembering I wasn't dressed, and immediately shrank into the sofa.
"I got home and found your clothes in my car. Do you want them?"
"Of course!" I glanced up and saw my brother also naked, feeling a little shy. I turned away and continued, "That's my favorite. Don't lose it."
"Should I bring it to you now?"
"No need... Ah!" My brother sat down beside me and bit my shoulder.
"Mingming, are you alright?"
"I'm fine..." I gasped, feeling my brother caressing my breasts. His hands reached out from behind and encircled my body, cupping my breasts in his hands and gently squeezing them, the heat from his hands transferring to my chest.
"Don't..." I whispered, twisting my body to try and get away, but he started kneading my nipples. A jolt of electricity shot through my brain, and my breathing became erratic.
"Mingming?" Meng Fei was still asking, "Your voice sounds strange."
"I...I'm tired, I want to sleep...The clothes aren't urgent, I'll give them to you another day."
"Okay, see when you're free, I'm free until next week."
While Meng Fei was speaking, my brother kept harassing me. His hands moved from my chest to my abdomen, waist, touching my sensitive spots all the way to my vulva.
"Then tomorrow, see you tomorrow..." I had to bite my lower lip to keep from crying out, as my brother actually inserted his fingers into my vulva, stirring them inside. My body reacted immediately; vaginal fluid flowed from my fingers, and I felt an emptiness in my stomach. I squirmed restlessly, and my brother pulled me onto his lap.
His chest pressed against my back, and his hard hand between his legs pressed against my buttocks. I gasped in horror as my brother adjusted our position. I said into the microphone, "I'll meet you again tomorrow, I'm hanging up now!" Before I could hang up, I ripped the receiver off to prevent Meng Fei from hearing my scream. I'd already heard the live broadcast twice today; I didn't want anyone else to hear me.
"Ah...ah..." I cried helplessly, feeling that this position was extremely dangerous. If my brother didn't hold me, I could easily fall forward to the ground.
My brother held my waist, his body moving rhythmically beneath me. He kissed my back and whispered, "Are you going on a date with that guy tomorrow?"
I trembled and said, "Meng Fei wants to return my things...ah!" My brother thrust in so fast, penetrating me deeply from the shallow end. A jolt of electricity shot from our point of contact to my brain, and I was instantly speechless. He continued his assault, each wave more intense than the last. I thought I was being torn apart, and I began to sob softly.
"No...no more...I..." This was something I had always longed for, but now I was terrified. My brother had become so fierce, relentlessly thrusting into me, obscuring even my cries.
This pounding continued for what felt like an eternity, until I felt something inside me about to explode.
"Ah!" I screamed, and at the same time, my brother pressed down on my waist, burying his entire thick member inside me. It throbbed, ejaculating hot semen into my vagina. We did it again, collapsing onto the sofa. My brother held me against him, it was uncomfortable, but neither of us moved.
I was even more exhausted, unable to even lift my eyelids. I felt my brother rubbing my already swollen breasts; they itched, but I ignored him.
"Don't go. Forget about the things. Don't go see other men."
I pouted, replying weakly, "That dress was bought for me by you. I don't want to throw it away."
"Then I'll go with you."
I laughed, trying to climb off him, but I lost my balance and fell off the sofa to the floor.
"Ouch!" My arm hurts from the fall.
"Mingming!" My brother immediately jumped up, pulled me up from the floor, and carefully checked my body. I wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes and laughed even harder.
My brother looked at me, puzzled, and asked, "What's wrong?"
"Are you jealous right now?" I saw his eyes suddenly widen and thought it was so cute. "Are you afraid that if I spend too much time with Meng Fei, I'll fall for him!"
My brother pouted and asked me, "Will you? What if you meet a better man and stop liking me?"
I shook my head, threw myself into his arms, hugged his neck tightly, and bit his ear, saying, "No, I'll only love you, brother, for the rest of my life. I'll never change my mind, never!" Hearing this, my brother's arms around my waist tightened, drawing me closer to him. He murmured, "Mingming... my Mingming..." He
started biting and nibbling from my ear down to my shoulder. I felt that thing pressing against my lower abdomen harden again. I opened my eyes wide and looked at him. "Are you... going to do it again?"
My brother smiled, his handsome face radiating endless allure.
"Mingming, I'm fine with it. The key is, do you still want it?"
I looked up and kissed his lips.
"Of course, I want it!"
Anyway, it doesn't matter what time I get up tomorrow. As for my date with Meng Fei, I'll tell him to wait tomorrow...

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