Would you accept it? (Repost)

My friend is a successful man in his forties with a good and stable relationship with his wife. He is considerate and loving towards her, but their daily life feels bland and lacks romance. They both feel a lack of interest in their sex life, even experiencing a sense of fatigue. Sometimes they try role-swapping to spice things up, but afterwards, a sense of emptiness and loss inevitably follows.

My friend is a very responsible and family-oriented man who values quality of life and wants his wife to be happy, satisfied, and experience orgasm during sex. He is also an open-minded and intellectual man, and they have discussed partner swapping during their sex life. His wife shows some interest and physical response during sex; however, when they seriously discuss their views, she refuses to accept it. This leaves my friend confused and at a loss, unsure of his wife's true feelings and how to get her to accept his ideas.

This is a common dilemma faced by many couples in similar situations.

After several years of marriage, due to psychological and physiological factors, couples gradually lose the sweetness and passion of the early years. Their sex life becomes mundane, leading to disharmony. The lack of pleasure and orgasm can cause boredom, and sex becomes merely a responsibility and obligation, devoid of psychological desire. Over time, this can have psychological and physiological effects, severely impacting the marital relationship and even leading to infidelity. This is a problem that all couples may encounter, and almost all couples try different methods to improve the situation and increase their sexual attraction to each other. These methods include using vibrators or medications. Some couples imagine their partner as their ideal sex during sex; some open-minded and romantic husbands even directly imagine themselves as their wife's ideal sex, arousing her sexual excitement and leading to orgasm through fantasy. While these methods can achieve excitement and orgasm, a sense of emptiness and loss often follows the initial passion.

With social development and progress, improved cultural levels and quality of life, changes in living environment and humanistic values, coupled with changes in the scope and methods of interpersonal communication and the free flow of information, some new ideas are gradually being understood and accepted by people, impacting their entrenched traditional concepts and repressed desires. Explicit sexual practices are also gradually being recognized and accepted by some groups. However, only a small percentage of couples can truly accept and abandon their reservations to participate in such activities. These couples are mostly from certain social classes with a certain level of education and psychological maturity. They have a strong emotional foundation, are romantic and enjoy life, respect and trust each other, and the husband is full of love for his wife and hopes to bring her happiness and satisfaction.

For most couples, while they agree and understand the concept, they harbor many concerns and anxieties when it comes to experiencing it themselves. Women, in particular, face numerous psychological factors and anxieties. Influenced by traditional thinking, social constraints, and family values, women tend to be relatively conservative in their views on sex. Sexual activity is often confined to the marital relationship, with the husband holding absolute control over their body and sexuality. Women place great importance on their husbands' sexual attitudes and views, often taking a passive role in sex and suppressing their own sexual desires and urges, fearing their husbands will perceive them as lustful and promiscuous. Therefore, when their husbands suggest intimacy or threesomes, they become bewildered and uneasy. Although they secretly yearn for orgasm and the passion of being with other women, they can only find solace in fantasies and imaginations during sex. The anxiety stems from not knowing her husband's true intentions. She worries that he might perceive her as promiscuous, harboring illicit thoughts and arousing his unfounded suspicion. She is even more concerned about her future standing in her husband's heart after engaging in the swapping, whether his attitude towards her will change due to her perceived purity after having sex with other men, or whether she will lose his trust, leading to a breakdown in their relationship and marriage. She also worries about facing accusations and social pressure if the matter becomes known. Therefore, many women choose extramarital affairs or one-night stands to satisfy their psychological and physiological desires, rather than readily agreeing to marital sex or threesomes. On the other hand, most women find it psychologically difficult to accept their husbands' sexual behavior with other women, so many marital sex partners begin with threesomes (where the couple invites another man to participate in marital sex) before gradually accepting marital sex.

Threesomes and marital sex are objectively existing social phenomena. Participants are mostly educated and of a certain standard, with a stable emotional foundation and shared interests between spouses. The husband cares for his wife and desires her sexual passion and satisfaction. The couples rely on and trust each other, and their goal is to improve the quality of their sex life and fully enjoy its pleasures. Furthermore, because threesomes and marital sex involve both partners simultaneously, experiencing sexual passion and psychological satisfaction during the act, from another perspective, the conflicts and harm that extramarital affairs bring to the family are far greater than those caused by threesomes and marital sex. If both spouses adhere to the rules based on mutual trust, threesomes and marital sex can prevent or reduce the occurrence of extramarital affairs.

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