I'm really just lonely.

The night was cool and still. Weary of the city's hustle and bustle, I gradually learned to flirt online at midnight. "Loneliness
in this mortal world" was my name, and I used a revealing selfie as my profile picture. I'm not exactly a flirtatious woman, but I always feel the surging, churning desire that relentlessly devours my lonely heart. My man has been abroad for two years. Like all the melodramatic stories online, it went from weekly phone calls to monthly calls, and then to only calling occasionally when he remembers. I can't be sure if he has another woman, but my gut feeling is that something's wrong. So, I've decided to let go and let things take their course. And I need to enjoy what I should enjoy.
The emptiness of my soul and body can't be solved by just using my fingers. If it's just for that 9-yuan certificate, it seems pointless for me to wait in vain for him. Every time the night is deep and quiet, I like to strip naked, caress every inch of my thirsty body in front of the mirror, and use my long, slender fingers to satisfy my overwhelming needs.
I've been flirting with people online, the reason being that I want to find something that belongs to me. What woman doesn't crave passion and excitement? I don't know if so many men added me because of my suggestive profile picture, or if they showed me their penises to seduce me or to be seduced by me. I only know I've seen many penises, even witnessed their ejaculation, but I lack the courage to try. Some of the ones I've
chatted with have repeatedly asked to meet, but each time I humbly avoided them. It wasn't that I was afraid, but I genuinely didn't know if they could satisfy my burning needs. I don't want to be a promiscuous woman; I just want something that can satisfy my needs.
The internet was still lonely that day. My desire had reached an uncontrollable point. After a deep exchange with my fingers, the gnawing desire seemed even stronger, forcing me to sit in front of the computer again, searching for a way to release it.
Who would I meet? I've always wanted to meet him, but haven't yet, even though I've developed feelings for him and a desire to possess him on video. But when he told me it only lasted about twenty minutes each time, I was slightly disappointed. I wanted to go wild, I wanted fulfillment, I wanted to moan loudly—how could twenty minutes be enough? "
Who Will Fall" was still excited to see me, and the conversation remained ambiguous, but I was already consumed by desire and could no longer remain calmly ambiguous. I told him directly, "I like everything about you, but your time isn't enough for me."
A sweating emoji appeared. "Who Will Fall" replied, "I promise you, I can satisfy you. I have a friend who often goes to Guangdong, and he gave me a bottle of spray. Of course, don't worry, I won't go to those kinds of places. But he said this stuff works better than Viagra."
"An aphrodisiac? That powerful? Won't it harm your health?"
"It's not an aphrodisiac, just a male enhancement drug. My friend assured me it has no side effects; he and his cronies use it often. I'll definitely satisfy you tonight. Tell me, where to?"
"Okay, I'll give you the address, come on over."

Meeting someone other than my husband for the first time, I was genuinely nervous. Carefully, I tied my hair up, applied bright red lipstick, a touch of eyeshadow, found my black stockings, and elegantly put them on, adding a pink nightgown. Suddenly, I found myself feeling a little lost.
Half an hour later, a text message arrived: "I'm outside, open the door." I hesitated slightly, then got up and opened the door.
What followed can only be described as frenzied. I'm certain he didn't appreciate my efforts to dress up for him; all he needed was to release his desires into my throbbing body, and I, too, needed his strength to fill my emptiness.
When he ripped my stockings and I pulled down his underwear, he quickly pulled out a small bottle, proudly telling me it was the new darling of aphrodisiacs. I glanced at it; it looked similar to my moisturizing lotion bottle.
The passion that followed is indescribable. I felt like I was surfing in a vast ocean, going from one climax to another. He kneaded my breasts into various shapes, and I responded to his rapid thrusts. On the bed, on the floor, against the wall, lying down, standing, sitting, we made love until we were completely exhausted. I don't know how much time passed; I only know that I felt dizzy, and I could only feel him going faster and faster. Then, I felt his strongest warmth inside me.
I slept lightly for a while, then woke up, amazed by his vigor. I touched his penis again—how could it be so strong? Was this the effect of the spray?
I was captivated, and it once again raised its lovely head.
That night, we continued our frenzy…
The next morning, after parting ways with Hua Luo Shui Jia, I suddenly felt a pang of guilt. Must sex and love really be separated in real life? Did I do something wrong? What if my husband has needs abroad? Does he really have another woman? What would happen if I continued with Hua Luo Shui Jia? Is the moon really brighter abroad than at home?
Honey, I'm really just lonely, and it's time to find an opportunity to talk to you about it.

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