[Repost] Women, I'll teach you how to be a mistress.

First, you must understand that this relationship is inherently flawed. Don't expect too much. The pleasure of stealing a kiss lies in the act of stealing; it's not just him stealing alone, it's the two of you stealing together. So you can't feel wronged or aggrieved (the truly aggrieved one is the unsuspecting partner at home). You both need to work together to achieve a complete and happy ending (the technical term should be "dividing the spoils," but let's put it more nicely as "sharing"). You can't complain about not getting enough. This is a matter of mutual consent. If you ever feel unwilling, don't make a fuss, just quietly leave. If you make a scene, not only will it be embarrassing, but all the precious memories you have will be ruined, and you'll be resented: "So this is what you're like!" That would be a real loss.
Lovers are mostly about physical contact; don't try to possess the other person's heart, and don't interfere with their words and actions. First, you have no right to do so. Second, even your wife can't control him, so how could you? Third, he always has a way to temporarily appease you, and most of the time this is a lie; no one in a relationship is incapable of lying. Fourth, what if he doesn't appease you? Wouldn't that just be asking for trouble and adding to your own worries? It's all self-inflicted suffering. Lovers are very afraid of being restrained by each other. They've finally broken free and are running wild, so why shouldn't they be shackled again?
I'm saying this as if there's no true love or responsibility between lovers. If you insist on being serious, then let's say there is. But no matter how I look at it, this kind of love seems a bit superficial, and this kind of responsibility seems a bit formalistic. For example, even if he doesn't love his wife, when his wife and her parents need money, he'll find a way to get it no matter how difficult it is. You won't get that treatment unless you push him so hard that he feels really embarrassed, but that's so pointless. Lovers generally don't care about anything outside of yourself; in this respect, they're even worse than friends. For example, if you accidentally get pregnant, his responsibility is simply to accompany you to the hospital for an abortion. But if his wife is pregnant, the outcome is very different.
Don't fantasize about a future with your lover. Your love may be moving, but it's fleeting. Their love may be ordinary, but it's a warm nest painstakingly built. Comparing the two, you'll know which will last. You can't fight against someone's limitless potential with your limited love. You must find a way to make that fleeting moment eternal. If they give you 10%, you must repay 100%; if they give you 50%, you must repay 250%. In short, you must repay many times more, making them feel indebted and unable to bear it. Even
if your lover is inseparable from you and dotes on you, you can't take their affection for granted. You can't fight with them, not even a physical fight or a verbal argument is allowed. You can't throw a tantrum or show a cold shoulder. If they get truly angry, they can just walk away. They have a home to go back to; where will you go?
Forget all holidays. Holidays are legally mandated days for family bonding. Even if he wants to spend them with you, push him away. Don't let him be physically present but mentally absent. You two already have little genuine connection; others are just creating distance.
Don't presume to know how deep your lover's love is. What's the theme song of "Coming and Going"? "I don't love so much, just a little. Others' love is as deep as the sea, mine is shallow." If you could truly guess how much he loves you, you'd feel like hanging yourself. Your
lover may not care about anything else in your life, but you must care about everything about him. Know yourself and your enemy; your potential threat isn't just his wife. You must learn what your lover likes, and you must give up what he dislikes.
Won't this spoil him? People's flaws are often fostered by indulgence. Don't worry, it won't. Just let him be spoiled by you.
There are signs when your lover starts to dislike you. He suddenly becomes busy, has no time to see you, and doesn't call. If you try to contact him, he's impatient. He's not busy; he's annoyed by you.
He keeps bringing up his family. He used to, but mostly his parents, friends, and playmates, reminiscing about his childhood and youth—that was to guide you into his world. Now, when he brings it up, it always revolves around his wife and children, implying that there's no longer any space for you in his life.
His feeling of being tired is also a dangerous sign; he's starting to see you as a burden. Love should make you feel like you can do more for him, not a burden. If you are a burden, it means he truly doesn't love you anymore. At this point, you need to think things through, but thinking is useless. The outcome can't be changed; you can't make wine from gutter water.
So you suffer. You realize you've been suffering all along, just without a chance to express it. Now that the blood is flowing, you realize how deeply you've been hurt. Don't try to salvage the relationship. In matters of the heart, if one party is resolute, the other has no choice but to accept the verdict. But you're unwilling to accept it! Why?! You cry, you make a scene, you chase after him demanding an explanation. Try to save face for yourself and for him. A torn-out facade is the ugliest face in the world.
But you're still overcome with sadness. The memories of your time together, filled with lies, joy tinged with fear, and heartbreaking moments of despair, make you feel wronged, and you blame your bad luck. Once you accept your fate, everything becomes easier. So you decide that this painful experience can't be fruitless; you must cut ties with him completely! Understanding everything, why continue making the same mistakes? Even a pig knows to stay away from danger. But a second later, you're filled with unease, unable to bear it, countless reasons telling yourself to wait a little longer. You fantasize. Maybe. What if. There will be a miracle? You believe that if you persevere, you'll see his best side. But he falls again and again, leaving you in despair, watching you suffocate without a care. You finally realize how cruel he truly is.
Women must never let themselves fall into this abyss. When breaking up, it's best to act as if nothing happened, always smiling, politely listening to him finish, and then disappearing from his world forever as quickly as possible, before he even has time to react. That way, you retain some dignity and respect. Don't linger on after a breakup. Tripping over the same stone twice is your own fault.
I'm not very knowledgeable, but being a mistress is just a psychological and procedural process. Once you understand that, everything becomes easier. But you must never go into this unprepared. A woman's time is too limited; in short, you can't afford to waste it. If you're willing to be a mistress, then be fully committed, enjoy it, and do it well. Don't regret it, don't be sad. A woman doesn't stop aging just because no one ruins her life. If
you don't want to be a mistress, that's for the best. Again, a woman's time is limited; you can't afford to waste it. Why waste your youth on someone who won't even make a promise, who'll just disappear after the deed, who won't even give a reason when they stop liking you, and who spreads rumors about you after the breakup? It's not worth it!
In short, do everything well; doing it poorly is pointless. Especially in matters of mutual affection, don't exhaust yourself, don't wrong yourself.

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