Sexuality and Redemption for Chinese Men

I. About Me: Born in 1983 (the Year of the Pig), 175cm tall, 75kg, sports enthusiast; a typical Chinese man, a normal man's self-redemption. From a quick-draw man who ejaculated immediately in my naive youth, to now occasionally having a record of making my girlfriend orgasm five times in a row (of course, the time wasn't the legendary tens of minutes, or even an hour or two; I remember finishing within 30 minutes), but still, I still can't have sex without love (I have almost no successful precedents for sex outside of morality).
II. My definition of a Chinese man: Traditional education, orthodox thinking (actually, conservative); almost zero substantive (correspondingly, self-taught, you know) sex education, sexual enlightenment, and sexual contact before adulthood (even before marriage); equating sex with responsibility (if you have her, you have to be responsible for her and take care of her for life); mostly ashamed to talk about sex, no sex without love, yet often hurt by sex, ultimately licking their wounds, learning and growing on their own, and finally achieving self-redemption.
III. Why I'm writing this: A few days ago, I went to the PLA XXX Hospital to see a doctor about hemorrhoids. I met a young male patient, about 27 or 28 years old. He looked like he came from the countryside. He was very shy and timid. His family member (probably his sister) described his condition to the doctor, saying that he had premature ejaculation and that he ejaculated too quickly, and his wife wanted to divorce him. The doctor then proceeded to prepare a bunch of test reports, including tests for the prostate, semen quality, glans sensitivity, etc. The prostate was inflamed—treatment was needed; the semen was problematic—treatment was needed; the glans was sensitive—nerve removal was needed. Watching the man leave with a grateful bow, I felt like I was seeing my younger self. I quickly calculated in my mind that these tests and treatments would cost at least tens of thousands of yuan. A big word flew through my mind—Damn it!! I have summarized the root causes of the tragic sexual experiences of Chinese men as the following three deficiencies:
(1) Lack of sex education in adolescence;
(2) Lack of supportive roles for women in adulthood;
(3) The lack of ethics of hospitals (and doctors) when seeking help.
I dare say that 99% of sexual dysfunction among Chinese men is not physiological but psychological. Of course, there are 1% of real patients. Based on personal experience, there are a few points (but not all) that you should really pay attention to:
(1) Phimosis and paraphimosis are two different things. Phimosis does not necessarily affect sexual intercourse, but paraphimosis will definitely affect it. I only found out that I had paraphimosis when I had a circumcision at the age of 22. That is, it was congenital or acquired. The foreskin formed a connection with the penis, which affected the retraction of the foreskin and the thrusting during sexual intercourse. This surgery is necessary. Of course, I personally think that circumcision is beneficial and harmless. The earlier it is done, the better. It is beneficial to penile development, reduces the sensitivity of the glans, etc. Of course, not doing it is not a big problem.
(2) Nine out of ten men have prostatitis, just like white blood cells. Everyone has it. But in my opinion, 80% of prostatitis does not affect sexual function. On the contrary, normal sexual life can help prostatitis improve or even disappear. I once foolishly underwent prostate catheterization to save my marriage. It was supposed to be minimally invasive, but it was incredibly painful. I swore I would never go to the operating table again (prostate examination is also an extremely painful thing);
(III) Penile sensitivity does affect sex, but compared to the impact of psychological sensitivity, it is only a drop in the ocean. If you solve the psychological problem and practice more, the so-called penile sensitivity will naturally decrease. Of course, do you think numbness is good? If you do it for an hour or two without getting an erection, neither you nor she will experience any pleasure. It is best if both of you reach orgasm. (I will share some of my experiences on how to solve the problem of psychological sensitivity in the following content.)
IV. My self-redemption is in progress. As for my child (my son is 8 years old this year), I think his redemption should start with me as his father. I think I will do the following (some of which are already being implemented):
(I) I will often take a bath with my son and not avoid his curious questions (such as "Dad, why is your penis different from mine (my foreskin has been removed)" etc.);
(II) When my son watches movies and TV shows, and when he talks about marriage, kissing, sleeping, having children and other issues with his friends, I will not avoid it and will try to give him scientific answers and positive guidance; (III)
When my son grows up but has not yet reached the stage of sexual contact, I will not suppress his feelings for the opposite sex, and even encourage him to boldly approach and express his feelings, but I will educate and guide him not to cross the line and not to hurt the other party. Given the current development of children, this should be something before the age of 14.
(iv) After the child turns 15, I will tell them that if you like and love each other, you can try it, but there are two prerequisites: first, both parties must be willing and mutually attracted; second, always remember to use a condom.
(v) Sex is not everything in love, and sex and responsibility are not entirely equivalent. They are just one of the key indicators to see if you can stay together. You cannot get married simply for sex or responsibility; that would be the greatest irresponsibility.
V. I have not counted how many women I have been with, from my first woman to my current girlfriend. The answer will come when I finish writing. In addition, out of respect for the mother of my child (who was also my first woman (she became pregnant with my child twice, had one abortion, and gave birth to my son), although she chose to leave us, I still do not blame or hate her), and my current girlfriend (who is likely to be my future wife), I will not write about my sexual encounters with them. In fact, such traditional sexual encounters, which carry too much responsibility, are a bit too heavy for everyone to read. It's better not to read about them!
VI. Most of the content is based on my personal experience. Some details may be slightly dramatic to enhance readability. Please do not take it too seriously, and I sincerely ask that you refrain from criticism if you do not like it. I am usually busy with work, so updates may not be as frequent as you wish. I hope you can understand, but your support will undoubtedly be my motivation to keep going.

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Sexuality and Redemption for Chinese Men

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