Ten things newlyweds should remember before their wedding night!

[Abstract]: If the foundation isn't laid well before marriage, all efforts afterward may be in vain. A happy marriage must begin before marriage. Learn from others' experiences and lessons... If
the foundation isn't laid well before marriage, all efforts afterward may be in vain. A happy marriage must begin before marriage. Learn from others' experiences and lessons.
1. Love can't put food on the table, but you can't live without it. Some people always say love can't put food on the table, especially after hearing their parents say this, and they treat it as gospel. Actually, this isn't true. Perfect love can't happen every day; it can't fill your stomach, but you can't live without it either. At any time, love should be the prerequisite for marriage. Never enter into marriage without love, otherwise, if you meet love after marriage, you might become fickle.
2. Marriage should be realistic, but that doesn't mean it should be vulgar. Love is purely emotional; be as romantic as you want. You don't need to consider this or that condition; as long as you love each other, everything is OK. However, once marriage is involved, and it's time to discuss it, some practical issues must be faced, meaning one must be pragmatic. Marriage requires both love and financial security; neither can be lacking. Marriage certainly involves facing practical issues, but one shouldn't be overly materialistic or mercenary, such as looking down on people from rural areas, focusing only on appearance and forgetting a person's inner qualities, or only thinking about whether marriage will bring immediate benefits.
3. Material things are necessary, but you must create them yourself. There's nothing inherently wrong with being materialistic, and I don't oppose appropriate materialism; who doesn't love money? With money, everything is easier. Marriage involves dealing with the daily grind, and material things are certainly essential. But you can't always expect your partner's family to provide ready-made wealth. There's no such thing as a free lunch; receiving favors inevitably leads to being controlled by them. A good life created by yourself is a truly good life, and something to be proud of. Remember, when discussing marriage, material things are necessary, but you must create them yourself, although external assistance is not excluded.
4. Psychological age is more important than physical age. Of course, it's essential to understand each other before marriage. With the increasing number of whirlwind marriages, more and more people are entering into marriage based solely on appearances. For example, some girls want a mature man and assume that older men or men who look mature are mature. Generally, this is true, but nowadays, physical age seems increasingly unreliable. Many men past their thirties are psychologically immature and handle problems very childishly; men who look mature are even less reliable. Appearances are deceiving; their psychology might be extremely immature, never truly weaned. You might have hoped to rely on him, but you've only ended up with an old "son."
5. More contact and understanding is never a bad thing. The length of courtship before marriage shouldn't be the only factor; the substance and efficiency of the relationship are also important. Some people date for three years but rarely communicate, while others date for only three months but communicate and understand each other daily. Essentially, the former's courtship is significantly shorter than the latter. Some people have a marathon-like relationship but rarely communicate. A relationship without communication or with little communication is essentially a wasted relationship.
6. Exchange views on life, emotions, and marriage frequently. Love is the prelude to marriage. Unless your purpose in dating is purely for fun and you have no intention of getting married, seize the dating stage to communicate well, deepen your understanding of each other, and learn as much as possible about your partner. Don't wait until marriage to have an "aha!" moment, realizing that this is who they really are; you just didn't know it before. Love requires a lot of communication. But what should you communicate about? Some people seem to have a lot to talk about when they're dating, but unfortunately, it's all about eating, drinking, and having fun. They're more like friends than lovers. Lovers should communicate about more than just fun; they should also discuss their views on life, values, and marriage. Without a shared set of values, views on life, and marriage, conflicts are inevitable. At the very least, you should be able to agree with your partner's values and views on marriage.
7. Be filial to your parents, but you don't necessarily have to live together. Today's young people have increasingly strong senses of autonomy, advocate for their private lives, and have stronger personalities. Therefore, even with their own parents, it's difficult to fully communicate and interact. After all, each generation has its own spiritual world and values. Sometimes, neither is wrong; the conflicts arise simply from differences. Therefore, my advice is that it's best to live separately from your parents after marriage. Some might say, isn't this unfilial? Of course not. Respecting parents is important, but there are many ways to do so. Respecting parents doesn't necessarily mean living together, except for parents who are unable to care for themselves and require assistance.
This point might provoke dissatisfaction from many older parents, but it's important to change your mindset. Why insist on living with your children? Why be so restrictive? They are adults and can take care of themselves. Your interference will only create trouble. Why not enjoy their retirement? If you live together, can you guarantee you won't interfere too much in your children's marital and family life? If you can, then it's fine to live together. Of course, this is just a suggestion; every family has its own circumstances, so it depends on the situation. One principle is that children should respect their parents, and parents should interfere less in their children's lives.
8. Be cautious about marrying someone from your local area or a big city. This statement is more likely to spark controversy. Obviously, I'm not saying locals or big-city people are bad, but rather that because they've lived in their hometown or big city for so long, they often unconsciously develop a misconception, a subconscious sense of superiority, which is actually the most hurtful. Of course, this isn't to say no to marrying a local or big-city person, but rather to remind those who have moved from other places to other cities to consider this when choosing a marriage partner, and also to remind locals and big-city people to be mindful of this, so as not to unintentionally hurt their loved ones.
9. Everything can be compared except marriage. It's not surprising that people unconsciously have a competitive mentality; you have it, I have it too. Often, it's this competitive mentality that drives us to strive to surpass others. Work, studies, career, etc., are all acceptable forms of comparison, but in marriage, don't overdo it. Life is for yourself, not for others to see; why engage in excessive comparison? Excessive comparison not only leads to a tiring life but is also a major source of marital conflict. For example, comparing your spouse to others is pointless and only breeds discord.
10. Good character doesn't guarantee a good marriage. For women looking for a husband and men looking for a wife, character is undoubtedly the most important factor and a fundamental prerequisite. No matter how outstanding, good-looking, wealthy, or talented a person is, if they lack good character, it's all for naught. Marriage is like shoes; good feet and good shoes don't necessarily fit. Therefore, when choosing a marriage partner, besides character, compatibility is crucial, and "matching in social standing" is essential. Of course, "matching in social standing" here is a broad concept, encompassing a combination of life values, personality, family background, and other factors.

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Ten things newlyweds should remember before their wedding night!

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