On the Status of Men and Women in Extramarital Affairs

Extramarital affairs are generally called cheating,
but actually, it's the women who are "cheating," while the men are merely "cheating on sex."
The vast majority of men who have extramarital affairs are not driven by genuine feelings, or if they are, it's very rare.
Women, on the other hand, often invest a great deal of emotional capital, eventually finding themselves unable to control themselves and extricate themselves.
Let me tell you about the psychology of men having extramarital affairs:
Men are all lustful, I don't need to elaborate. Initially, he'll usually only notice your face and figure (that's all, really nothing else).
Then, he'll start inquiring about you through your colleagues, friends, and confidantes. In short, when he learns you're a married woman, this excites him even more.
Driven by a strong attraction to the opposite sex's body and the thrill of conquest (conquering your body and trampling on your husband's dignity), he launches an attack on you, using numerous methods, such as sweet talk, portraying himself as stable, wise, composed, generous, witty, and humorous, etc. (At home, he's still a domineering, petty man, no different from your husband).
In short, through the frequent opportunities he created, you started to think, "Wow, this man is really great!" You realized that none of your husband's bad habits were present in him. Gradually, you enjoyed talking to him more. He always made you laugh; a single sentence could make you happy (this was a necessary tactic).
You laughed more with him in a day than you did with your husband in a year.
You started to like him, and you rediscovered the feeling of first love. The difference was that this time there was no awkwardness, but rather a lot of genuine sweetness. At this moment, the primal curiosity and sexual urges within you rekindled (every woman has this; it's like Pandora's box). This box was opened by a man who seemed like an angel to you. From the day you got married, you had originally planned to close this box forever (to be a good wife and mother). Now it was open, and in your heart, his place slowly grew larger and larger,
while your husband, in your heart, was reduced to just a little bit of so-called commitment to the marriage and guilt towards the children.
But you dare not take another step forward. Social pressure, the constraints of traditional values, the opinions of those around you—for example, what would your colleagues think if they knew? What would your boss think? What would your parents think?
In short, just thinking about it terrifies you.
You are truly afraid.
At this point, it's still not too late to pull back from the brink.
But... after intentionally avoiding him for a few days, the more you avoid him, the more you miss him. You want to see him at work, you think about him on your way to and from work... His lovely, charming smile always makes your heart flutter, his calm and wise humor always makes your heart soar to the sky. You don't want to work, you don't want to cook, you don't want to see your husband (because that would make you waver again), you don't want to sleep; your mind is filled with him. At this point, you're doomed!
What?? You haven't slept together yet?
Slept together? That's a natural progression, a piece of cake.
Because you truly felt "love," and you betrayed him for "love," you didn't want to go home. You wanted to spend every spare moment with him, telling your husband you were working overtime, entertaining clients, hanging out with classmates, and so on.
In short, in the end, that person won, triumphed,
winning your body and, more importantly, your husband, trampling his dignity and self-respect underfoot. Were
you scared at this point? Did you feel guilty? But soon you relaxed again. Because you realized your husband was still so naive, believing everything you said.
This made you feel more secure. Thankfully, your husband hadn't found out (you know, your husband's naivety stemmed from his trust in you).
So, you thought about it, and decided to continue with that man.
His sweet words seemed endless. You felt fear, excitement, guilt, tension, and pain—a mix of emotions.
Want to break up and return to being a devoted wife and mother? Heh, could you really bear to? Anyway, your husband is clueless and hasn't noticed.
Or maybe you're thinking, "I'll break up with him next week,"
so you become even more reckless this week.
Looking at the man you love (and you believe he loves you too), are you really willing to let him go? Only one in 100,000 women can truly let go. Will you be that woman?
Secrets can't stay hidden forever (you know this better than anyone).
One day, the truth comes out, your husband finds out everything, and then he unleashes almost all the anger he's ever had in his life—"
Divorce!!" In the end, he only says those two words.
You cry, your tears filled with guilt, regret, resentment… and a certain relief. Finally, you don't have to live in constant fear anymore.
You don't want a divorce. You still have your pride, you still have to face others, you have children, parents—
no!! You can't get a divorce. If others find out the real reason for your divorce, how can you face anyone afterward?
You swear you'll cut all ties with him and beg your husband for forgiveness this time.
Do you know what most men are thinking at this moment?
Let me tell you: If there's a maggot in a bowl of rice, can you still eat it? Even if you remove the maggot (cut it in two), can you still eat it? Don't you feel disgusted?
Okay, even if you encounter a lousy guy who removes the maggot and forces himself to eat it, will he feel good about it later? He'll feel disgusted just thinking about it, and will you feel good about it then? It will always be a scar covered in maggots. Okay!
Let's get a divorce, who's afraid of who? You can live without your husband! You think at least you still have him, the man you love.
Then, you go to him and say you have nothing now—no husband, no children, no family, maybe even no job, no understanding from friends, no forgiveness from parents—you only have him now.
Guess what he'll think then?
Sad? A little. Guilt
? Almost nothing
. Pain? Impossible.
Schadenfreude? Not quite. He'll just be indifferent. Bewildered.
You have to understand he has a wife, children, parents, a career, and a future.
As for you?
He likes you, he really, really likes you, he really, really likes your face and your body. Especially in bed.
He's willing to give you money so your life isn't too difficult, and then he won't feel guilty anymore.
If you say at this point that you don't care about his money, you just want him,
he'll still be indifferent, head down, smoking.
Deep down, he knows that's impossible. He just wants a mistress—no, more accurately, a clean, free prostitute—to satisfy his curiosity, his lust, the conquest and pleasure he gets from possessing someone else's wife.
It's that simple. Really, men are simple creatures; everything else is just you overthinking things.
As for his feelings, you might get a little bit, but only a tiny bit. A man's affections are 30% with his mother, 30% with his wife, and 30% with his children (the ratio between wife and children can be adjusted). You'll get at most 10%. If you can really occupy 10% of his affections, then you're quite something (I'm talking about in bed).
Okay, that's the end of the story. You buried your family happiness with a passionate "love affair" (of course, you also gained sexual happiness).
What will happen between you two afterward?
Maybe you're still playing this game of infidelity, but that's only from his perspective. For you, there's no longer any "stealing." Maybe he'll slowly distance himself from you (this is the most common scenario, after all, you've become a single woman, the thrill of trampling your husband underfoot is gone, and you still want him to be your husband. Every time he sees you, he can't help but think that he might be getting cuckolded).
You still have to live your own life, but at this time, your life is filled with the bitterness of regret.
Your ex-husband will remarry and have another lovely baby with another woman. He won't give you a second glance.
When your child grows up, he will hate you. In his heart, you? Mother?
Oh, of course, you gave birth to him, but you also gave him a lifetime of shame.
Your parents will be unable to hold their heads high in front of neighbors, relatives, and friends. In the end, they will die with resentment towards you... (Note: Men, seeing such an ending, if you have even a little compassion, wouldn't you feel remorse? Remember, don't destroy other people's families...)
This is the story of infidelity. Of course, even with this outcome, you should thank your husband—no, to be precise, your ex-husband—for being a very rational and sentimental man. If you had encountered a petty, hot-tempered, and reckless man, I guarantee you might have faced a massacre of your entire family.

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On the Status of Men and Women in Extramarital Affairs

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