Reprinted: A smart woman: Don't be a third party, be a fourth-generation lover.

Editor's Note:
The "third party" is outdated. The "fourth party" is secretly entering the market...
A smart woman: doesn't become a third party, but a fourth-generation lover.

What is a "fourth party"?
It's an updated version of the third party. To summarize in someone else's article, the fourth party's motto is: your family must be perfect, my family must be perfect, and both of us must be perfect.
Their rules: don't destroy either family.

The term "fourth party"
evolved from "third party," meaning a relationship a level higher than that of a third party.
"Third party" has become synonymous with the villain who destroys other people's families. "Fourth party," however, carries a mixed connotation of "confidante" and "lover." Mutual affection and understanding exist, yet they only talk about feelings, not love.

Because love is not about possession, but about responsibility, commitment, and commitment.
The fourth party: They only care about feelings, staying far away from the other person's family, refusing any so-called responsibility, commitment, or sacrifice. It seems like they're "sacrificing for the other person's happiness," a kind of "if I don't go to hell, who will?" kind of heroic sacrifice, or a "I'll leave quietly, without taking a single cloud" kind of detachment. Or perhaps they simply don't care about anything and have a completely nonchalant attitude... Of course, these are all just personal speculations. Only the parties involved truly know what they're thinking.
Anyway, the fourth party online often portrays themselves as selfless, kind, and carefree. In

this era of fast-food love,
compared to those who engage in "one-night stands," they are relatively more loyal. For example, the truest and purest first love often doesn't succeed. But they don't reject new relationships just because true love only happens once in a lifetime. Instead, as time heals the wounds of past relationships, their longing for love gradually accumulates, allowing them to accept the arrival of another new love. Future relationships are the same.

Fate:
always arrives unexpectedly. People have fallen in love: some have already entered into marriage, but new love will still come their way. However, people in marriages should understand their responsibilities, know what is right and wrong, and rationally restrain and discipline themselves to avoid harming themselves and others. Because you can accept fate and give your partner warm love, but you cannot give them a warm future.

When love
cannot transform into familial affection, the kind of reliance and expectation that comes with it, it will eventually fade, like ashes after a blazing fire. You can find the best way out of your inner loneliness, but you destroy the peace and happiness of your own family, hurt your partner's heart that has weathered storms with you, and betray your initial vow to love only one person. You can find excitement and pleasure for yourself, but you will also feel guilty for disrupting the peace and happiness of another family, carrying a heavy psychological burden.

Don't think it's a
secret only the two of you know; there are no eternal secrets in the world. Don't deceive yourself.
Extramarital affairs
are a dangerous and tempting path of no return; it's best not to step onto it. If you do, you must be able to bear too much heartbreak in the future. However, no one can judge whether a love is right or wrong. Even God makes mistakes because of love, let alone mortals. If this love comes too late, if you're already hopelessly in love, if you've embarked on a path of no return, then becoming a "fourth party" might be the best choice in times of helplessness. Love lightly, experience lightly what it means to experience both pain and joy. No longer letting things take their course, but loving that person, for the sake of their world's completeness, to avoid making things difficult for them or yourself, to respect yourself, the other person, and all your loved ones, for the kindness and beauty of the world, to fulfill the happiness of everyone else, and to thank God for this extra blessing, you set yourself aside, never crossing the line. You can love passionately, you can love intensely and drastically. You

can love to
the point of heartbreak and despair, but you must always maintain that final half-step distance from the person you love, so that when you must leave in the end, you won't hurt anyone but yourself, and you can gracefully and completely withdraw. Sometimes, happiness comes not from having more, but from caring less. This is especially true in matters of the heart. By not expecting much, by not trying to possess what you love entirely, you'll find more freedom and joy. Everyone yearns to love and be loved; those who understand and know how to love find happiness, not suffering. Otherwise, it's like playing with fire

, trapping yourself in a self-destructive cycle. The current trend is: build, don't destroy. They need a complete and balanced state: if you love someone, love them bravely, just maintain a certain distance. Instead of suffering for love, rejecting everything, rejecting the love you deeply crave, it's better to embrace all the beautiful things in the world with a tolerant and magnanimous heart. They all love themselves: their families, their spouses. But they also love each other so deeply.

Modern relationships are no longer clearly defined; the boundaries are blurred. In extramarital affairs: there's familial love and friendship, but mostly romantic love. Those extramarital loves that once caused so much pain are now being portrayed as a transcendent freedom and joy.

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Reprinted: A smart woman: Don't be a third party, be a fourth-generation lover.

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