When women say their sex drive is at its peak

Women's sexual desire can be divided into two main categories: those who feel no sexual desire at all, and those who have a clear, sometimes even intense, sexual desire. One woman,

who has had

very infrequent sexual intercourse due to long-term separation from her husband, said, "I don't feel this desire. I spend most of the year alone, and I've never had sleepless nights." A woman in her fifties said, "I don't feel any sexual desire. Once, my husband told me, 'I think you do have sexual desire, but not for me.' Sometimes, he puts books about sex by the bed, but I don't read them, and he gets very upset." A woman who had an extramarital affair but no extramarital sexual relationship explained her behavior this way: "My sense of morality is quite strong. My husband is my priority, and I only have occasional intimate relationships with other men. For a while, my husband was unsure of my feelings for him, anxious and suspicious, because there were too many men in my social circle, and he didn't like my friends. I told him: 'I won't do anything reckless. I have no interest in sex, and sex doesn't attract me; but I can't guarantee that my feelings won't occasionally drift towards others.'" Some middle-aged women described their declining libido: "As I get older, this desire decreases, and recently I converted to Buddhism and Taoism; last year, I didn't even have that thought."

Some women admitted to having sexual desires.

One woman said, "I've had sexual feelings since I was very young." Some women expressed their unfulfilled sexual desires: "From age 26 to 36, we were almost sexually aroused once a week. After a week, I'd get a little comfort, a little tenderness, but mostly it was just laundry, chores, and exhaustion." One woman who had a lover said, "I only realized I had this need after I met him, only then did I realize I was a woman." A single woman said that although she was still a virgin, she still had a sense of weight and sometimes felt excited. "I felt a vague sense of it in my twenties, and the older I get, the deeper that feeling becomes," said a divorced woman. "I got divorced at 35, and didn't have a boyfriend for a whole year afterward. It wasn't until I was 38 that I felt an uncontrollable desire." "My smoking is related to this. I heard that smoking can suppress libido; I read that in the newspaper, and some of my girlfriends have told me the same thing."

So, what does libido feel like?

One woman described her libido like this: "Sometimes I feel my uterus throbbing, as if only a man's organ can satisfy me." "When I have my period..." "I feel the urge before my period. Sometimes I imagine the genitals of the opposite sex." "Before my period, my genitals twitch rhythmically; maybe that's what sexual desire feels like." "I think sexual desire is the feeling of wanting to have sex with a man. Physiologically, it manifests as excessive vaginal discharge, and psychologically, it manifests as being easily agitated. For a period after graduating from university, my underwear was always damp. I knew a female doctor, and when I asked her if this was a medical condition, she laughed. She said it wasn't a disease, but rather caused by excessive estrogen secretion. This condition didn't improve until I was almost 40, when the vaginal discharge decreased." "I think the feeling of sexual desire is like an itch in the clitoris." "Once, when I was having sex with my husband, no matter what I did, I couldn't get wet down there; but with this lover, I got wet naturally without any effort. Every time he finished showering and jumped onto the bed naked, seeing him like that naturally aroused me." "I think sexual desire is a kind of itchy feeling in the heart, and physiologically speaking, it's a feeling of heat in the lower body." "I've felt a physical urge, a feeling of bloating in the lower abdomen. I also have this feeling when I meet someone who is particularly cute and touching."

One woman described it this way: "It's a feeling of tingling all over the body." A middle-aged unmarried woman said: "When I was young, on summer nights, I would suddenly feel a swelling all over my body, sometimes in my groin, sometimes in my armpits, it was a very uncomfortable feeling. Whenever this feeling came, I had to get up and walk around, or try to fall asleep as soon as possible, just to avoid this feeling. This feeling was very uncomfortable."

"I remember when I first graduated from university, I felt like an underdeveloped chick. But by my mid-twenties, I felt mature. Sometimes I'd touch myself, feeling that the right places were full and the right places were flat, and it felt good. I also craved being touched by others. Sometimes I had strong physical urges, and my body was restless."

"That spring, a primal feeling returned to me—my appetite and sex drive. It was like an explosion, a strong urge to find a man. After that urge, I thought about controlling myself, not harming others' interests, and not making a fuss."

A woman who had been sexually assaulted described her feelings about sex: "Before this incident, I had absolutely no feeling for sex. Once, I was helping my brother with something, and one of his friends took me to a park and started touching me inappropriately. I had no reaction at all; nothing he touched aroused my desire, so it didn't work out. Another time, I was on a train, and a young soldier was waiting at the station. We sat in a relatively dark place, and he made advances, but I still had no reaction. So I felt that if I wasn't mature enough, they couldn't succeed. When I was young, I had no feeling; when I was older..." "When a man touches me, I go limp and become aroused."

A divorced woman living a single life said, "I have a particular problem: I have a very strong sex drive. Sometimes I feel an unbearable restlessness. I'm bored after work. Women have needs, and I don't like to suppress them. Once, I couldn't bear it anymore. I happened to be at a restaurant on business and saw a foreign man. The way he looked at me made me understand his desires. Normally, a respectable woman should be proud, but I couldn't control myself and went to his room with him. We chatted at first, and then I stayed. He made me feel very comfortable and satisfied. I'm not that kind of person, so I didn't ask for a penny. I felt insulted when he tried to give me a gift. The next day, when I sobered up, I felt very guilty and remorseful. This has happened many times."

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When women say their sex drive is at its peak

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