Classic Collection

My Wife's True Story

(Part 1)
I am an ordinary cadre in the Qimen County government of Huangshan. I have been married for over ten years. Like many men, I love my wife very much. However, I cannot resist the allure of the outside world and often have affairs.
-- Let me clarify, I never visit prostitutes. It's not that I look down on prostitutes, but I feel they are too dirty.
Due to my work, I often come into contact with some very outstanding women.
All men have the same flaw: even if you let them marry a beauty like a mink, they will eventually get tired of her.
Therefore, men neglect their wives and set their sights on women other than their wives.
This world creates many lonely women.
Actually, this is an interesting vicious cycle: men neglect their wives and focus their attention on other men's wives.
As a result, their own wives also become the target of other men's advances.
To some extent, to put it nicely, this is called karma; to put it bluntly, it's called retribution.
At this point, I need to clarify that what I am describing is not an erotic story.
I'm simply trying to honestly share some of my experiences and journey as a man married for nearly twelve years, hoping to offer some insights, reflections, or lessons to others like me who have been in the "walled city" of marriage for so long.
Family is always a man's final haven, and his wife is always his closest and most cherished woman.
Arguments aren't scary, estrangement isn't scary, and infidelity isn't scary either, as long as you're brave enough to face them head-on.
Experiencing setbacks is okay; experience is actually a form of wealth.
Some setbacks or hardships might even benefit you for life.
As men, we have an undeniable responsibility to cherish the woman who accompanies us through life.
(II)
Not long after graduating from university, I met my wife.
She worked at a bank, just an ordinary teller at the time, and graduated from a vocational school affiliated with a bank.
She already had a boyfriend she'd been dating for a year.
He was her senior from the previous year; because he was ambitious, after working for a few years, he took the entrance exam for a vocational college and returned to school, which allowed me to steal him away.
My wife is a year younger than me, with a slender and graceful figure, sexy and charming, with bright, innocent eyes.
During that time, I felt like I was living in a honey pot, even waking up smiling from my dreams.
During our courtship, I tried many times to seduce her, but she always firmly refused.
Young people in their early twenties today might not understand this, but more than ten years ago, sex was a rather serious topic.
Therefore, I didn't truly possess her until our wedding night.
Gazing at the radiant, peach-blossom-like virgin blood on the white sheets,
my wife was more beautiful than a pure angel in my eyes.
Actually, I've never had a deep obsession with virginity.
Moreover, premarital sex wasn't very common in those days, so everything seemed perfectly natural to me.
Like all newlyweds, we didn't miss any opportunity to be intimate. We'd
make love two or three times a night, and sometimes even during the day at home, a single glance between us could ignite a spark, and we'd immediately undress and roll around naked together.
During that time, I was severely exhausted, yet still full of energy. The most outrageous time was when, after our passion, I fell asleep on top of her without getting off immediately. She didn't want to move me, so I slept on top of her for over five hours.
-- Now, recalling this incident, I feel as if I owe my wife a lifetime of unrequited love.
A year later, we had a child, a lovely daughter. After having a child, most of my energy shifted to her.
The passion between us gradually faded.
During this period, I had an affair with my college classmate.
This story isn't unusual; the probability of infidelity between classmates is the highest.
I went to her city on a business trip, and we drank a lot together. Then she came to my hotel with me. We chatted for a while, but there wasn't much substance to it; it was all nonsense about reminiscing about college life.
Suddenly, there was an awkward silence, and we just stared at each other.
I don't know who made the first move, but we suddenly hugged each other, kissed passionately, caressed each other, and finally rolled onto the bed.
The moment I entered her body, my wife's lovely face flashed through my mind.
This thought instantly killed my interest, and I went limp after only a few thrusts.
My mind went completely blank.
My classmate, unaware of the reason, kindly comforted me, saying I might not have rested well from being away from home.
I numbly held her as we lay down on the bed, feeling utterly beastly, even imagining myself kneeling before my wife begging for forgiveness.
Later, my female classmate knelt between my legs, gently caressing me with her mouth. My wife has never liked giving me oral sex, and the few times she has, it has been quite reluctant.
Therefore, my classmate's stimulation unleashed my primal instincts, and I rolled over and pinned her beneath me, this time having a thoroughly enjoyable time.
Seeing my classmate's face contorted with excitement beneath me, I experienced a completely new kind of pleasure.
After this incident, I felt ashamed for a while. Out of a desire to atone, I often took the initiative to do housework and was extra considerate to my wife for a period of time.
However, old habits die hard, and before long, I started having inappropriate thoughts again.
In the following years, I had numerous affairs with other women, and my neglect of my wife worsened.
Men who have been married for a long time know that a wife's intuition about her husband is often very accurate.
It's just that men generally overestimate their intelligence, always thinking their lies are flawless.
In reality, a wife doesn't need evidence to judge her husband's actions, because we are born with the most lethal weapon: intuition.
A few years later, my career progressed smoothly, and I was promoted to head of an important department.
Moreover, I had a steady mistress, a charming and alluring woman.
I reveled in this double life,
neglecting my wife even more.
By this time, we had sent our child to my parents' house, both to alleviate their loneliness and to allow us to relive the romance of our time together.
However, although the child was gone, the passion between us seemed to have vanished forever.
And frankly, my main energy was focused on my mistress.
My wife was essentially dispensable in my eyes, and we made love less and less often.
My wife is a reserved woman; when she has the desire for intimacy, she only hints at it with body language. However, I've increasingly been playing dumb about her hints.
Subconsciously, I think that my wife belongs to me anyway, so I don't need to care so much; it's my lover who needs to be coaxed.
Until that incident happened…
(Part Three)
About eight years ago, on a Sunday, I habitually woke up early. My
wife was still sleeping in bed.
After I finished washing up, I went back to the room and glanced at her. My wife was still sleeping there. I said, “I’ll go buy breakfast.” After saying that, I walked across the living room to the door, put on my shoes, and opened the door. At that moment, I suddenly needed to go to the bathroom, so I closed the door again. Our bathroom is next to the bedroom door, so I turned around and went into the bathroom.
Sitting on the toilet, I picked up a magazine and slowly read it. An article in the magazine caught my attention, and I calmly sat on the toilet and read it carefully.
Just then, I heard my wife slipping on her slippers in the living room. I was already thinking about going to the bathroom, so I mischievously didn’t get up.
To my surprise, the phone rang in the living room, and it was on speakerphone.
Our phone is in the corner of the living room, not far from the bathroom, so I heard it very clearly.
The call connected, and a man answered. What my wife said next struck me like a thunderbolt: "Honey, are you up?" The man replied, "I've been up for ages, honey. Why are you calling from the home phone? Isn't your husband home?" My wife said, "He went out to buy breakfast." The man asked, "What time will you be here?" My wife said, "I don't know, I'm waiting for him to go out and play mahjong." (On weekends, I rarely spend time with my wife at home; I'm usually out with friends.)
The man said, "No rush, I'll wait for you. What do you want to eat? I'll go buy it." My wife said in an unusually gentle voice, "No need, honey, I'll buy it and bring it over. It's on my way. That's all for now. I have to go now; my husband should be back soon." The call ended.
At that moment, I was stunned in the bathroom, my vision blurred, and I was trembling with rage. My instincts told me to rush out immediately, but reason told me to stay calm.
A strange voice kept asking in my ear: How could this happen? How could this happen… Later, every time I thought back to that scene, I felt extremely frightened: if my wife had gone into the bathroom after hanging up the phone, the situation would have been uncontrollable.
Moreover, my wife suspected me of being a shameless eavesdropper and spy.
For her, being exposed would likely cause a psychological breakdown.
Fortunately, after hanging up the phone that day, she went back to bed.
I, however, hid in the bathroom, unsure whether to go in or out.
My reason kept reminding me to control myself, to absolutely control myself.
I desperately needed to find a place to sort out my thoughts, because reality had to be faced.
So I tried to leave the bathroom quietly, deliberately opening and closing the bedroom door loudly, as if I had just returned from outside.
Then, in a very calm voice, I called out into the room, "Honey, breakfast is sold out. I couldn't buy any. Get up and cook some porridge yourself later. I have something to do and I'll be back in a bit." My wife, pretending to have just woken up, said, "So annoying! It's the weekend, can't I even sleep in?" I didn't say anything, turned around, and walked out of the house.
The neighborhood was very quiet and solemn on the weekend. A few elderly people were practicing Tai Chi in the distance.
The weather was clear, but I felt like the sky was black.
(IV)
Walking alone in the neighborhood, I felt completely empty, as if I were walking on cotton.
Occasionally, I would run into acquaintances who greeted me, and I would just nod blankly.
I sat down alone on a stone bench in a corner of the neighborhood. The stone bench was icy cold on this early summer morning, but I couldn't feel it anymore.
At this moment, only one question kept popping into my head: What should I do? Perhaps it was related to the coldness of the stone bench, because soon I felt my whole body trembling.
But my mind slowly calmed down, and I began to think about the following questions: What should I do?
1. Expose it? Exposing it is easy. Even if my wife denies it, I can find out who the man is by checking the phone records at the telecommunications bureau.
But what are the consequences after exposing it? The only result is that we will tear each other apart and shatter the last bit of warmth.
The lovers who were once so deeply in love will become strangers, or even enemies.
2. Pretend I know nothing and slowly think of a way? But the thought of my beloved wife being naked and entangled with another man makes my head spin.
Thinking of this, I even have the urge to kill.
After the cigarette butts I'd smoked around the stone bench, I began to fully sober up.
I started recalling the women I'd been involved with over the years. Most of them had lovely children, warm homes, and husbands who deeply loved them.
When I was with them in bed, did I ever think about their husbands' feelings? The ancients said, "Do not do to others what you would not have them do to you."
I asked myself, each of those women was a good woman; they were all qualified mothers and virtuous wives.
On another level, while I didn't have any of their thoughts when I was with them, my beloved was still my own wife. Similarly, when they were with me, they still loved their own husbands. Even if the passion between them had faded, the blood ties between them and their husbands were irreplaceable.
So, for me, is there anyone in this world who can replace my wife? The answer is no.
Although my wife had definitely cheated on me—that's beyond doubt—compared to my absurdity, what did her actions amount to?
So, the most important thing I should do right now, and the only thing I can do, is to make amends, not to cause further damage.
Otherwise, the harm will be permanent.
Thinking about the date my wife mentioned on the phone earlier, I felt a wave of dizziness.
So I quickly made two decisions: first, pretend I knew nothing; second, I had to stop this date; I couldn't let her drift further away.
With that in mind, I ran to the flower shop across the street and bought my wife a bouquet of pink roses.
This was only the second time I'd bought flowers for my wife; the first time was before we got married, when I was courting her. Years had passed in the blink of an eye, and it all felt like a lifetime ago. When
I got home with the flowers, my wife had already finished washing up and was cooking in the kitchen. Looking at the flowers in my hand, she was surprised and asked, "Didn't you send them out? Isn't your lover home?" I don't even remember when we started talking to each other in this sarcastic tone.
A wave of sadness washed over me. I went to my wife, hugged her tightly, and buried my face in her chest. She noticed my unusual behavior and asked, "What's wrong?" Tears streamed down my face. I tried to hide it, saying, "Nothing, I just saw an elderly couple walking together, supporting each other, and it suddenly made me think about how difficult life really is..." It was the first time my wife had seen me cry like this. She seemed a little lost, patted my shoulder, and said, "Don't think like that, honey. Go watch some TV, breakfast will be ready soon." At breakfast, I had no appetite and just stared blankly at my wife.
She was again bewildered and asked, "What's wrong with you? You went out for a walk this morning and came back looking like a delicate flower." I didn't answer, just reached out and gently stroked her face.
After breakfast, I sat casually on the sofa watching TV, observing what my wife would do next.
A little while later, she asked, "Aren't you going out today?"
I said, "Nowhere. I'm staying home with my wife."
My heart pounded, and I asked, "Is something wrong?"
My wife hesitated for a moment and said, "Something came up at work... but it's not urgent, we can get it done on Monday." I said, "Then stay home, or I'll go shopping with you..." Around noon, I made an excuse to buy cigarettes and went out.
I thought my wife might need an opportunity and time to make a phone call...
(V)
That weekend, my wife didn't go to her date. In the afternoon, I took her to KFC. Before this, I always hated this kind of junk food, but to make her happy, I pretended to like it and went with her.
Afterwards, I couldn't help but secretly check the phone bill. I didn't find any clues in the phone bill, but that didn't mean anything, because mobile phones are rare, and even a regular pager with Chinese display costs more than two thousand.
I also couldn't check my wife's pager.
All I could do was go home on time every day, spend as much time as possible with my wife, and give her more care and love. While I was doing these things, my heart was suffering indescribable torment.
Scenes of her having sex with another man kept flashing through my mind, and I dreamed about them frequently, each scene vividly present before my eyes.
I had made excuses to go to her office several times (by then, she had been promoted to a minor department head), but there were five people in her office, and I couldn't confirm if the man was one of them. Actually, who he was didn't matter; it was just that the curiosity, anger, and humiliation kept welling up inside me, making it impossible for me to extricate myself.
But all I could do was do what I was supposed to do, or rather, make up for what I hadn't done well before. For my wife, this was a kind of compensation, but for me, it was a deserved retribution.
The initiative had been handed over to my wife.
During that time, I basically cut off contact with my lover. When I was with him, I couldn't muster any interest, and there was even a sense of resentment in my heart, as if she was the cause of it all.
During that period, whenever I had sex with my wife, I often felt an inexplicable urge, as if I were competing with someone from the depths of my being.
At the time, I hadn't read any rational articles about dating or group sex, and even if I had, I couldn't accept those seemingly unconventional methods.
I only occasionally searched online for some psychological counseling articles about my wife's infidelity. Later, I found that reading many of the so-called experts' pretentious writings only made me more depressed, so it was better not to read them at all.
Some people say that time is the best healer, and that's very true.
After my persistent efforts, my wife finally started to communicate with me more often, and we rediscovered the feeling we had back then.
We both like to drink beer.
Once, we finished ten bottles of beer at home, but still couldn't resist going out for barbecue late at night, drinking and chatting, talking about everything under the sun, including our children and our future aspirations.
However, I always adhered to one principle: I never mentioned her infidelity.
Several times, she clearly intended to confess to me, but I pretended not to care and changed the subject.
Looking back now, I realize it was because I was cowardly; I couldn't resolve this inner conflict myself.
So I chose to avoid this topic, trying to forget it and leave the problem to time.
Seeking common ground while reserving differences is definitely a good approach.
After going through this ordeal, my relationship with my wife underwent a qualitative change: beyond the traditional marital relationship, we were often closer to confidants.
Harmony increased, disagreements decreased, and our hearts drew closer.
Moreover, many times, I even felt a heartfelt love for her, like she were my own daughter.
After some time, when I felt the time was right, I confessed to her about my first affair with a female classmate,
and other experiences (God forgive my reservations; I had gone too far in many things and feared she wouldn't be able to accept it. Also, I felt that if I revealed all these wounds to her without reservation, given that I had already realized my mistakes, I feared she wouldn't be able to handle the heavy psychological impact. In a way, this might be a kind of benevolent deception, because there's a prerequisite: I truly realized my mistakes). Actually, she already knew many of my things before I confessed, but she didn't expose me for the sake of our family and children.
She also voluntarily told me about her only extramarital affair. She spoke calmly, and I listened calmly as well: it turned out the man was a major client of their bank, a very considerate man with a happy family.
During the time I neglected my wife, he approached her.
According to my wife, during her relationship with that man, she was constantly tormented by emotions and conscience. She initially accepted him largely out of revenge against me, and only secondarily out of emotional and physical needs.
But after the affair, she discovered things were far more complex.
The reason for the affair was her husband's betrayal, and afterwards, she felt even more guilty towards herself—a painful self-inflicted wound.
Since that unfortunate Sunday, my wife was overjoyed to accept my change, and things underwent a qualitative change: since that Sunday, my wife sensed I might know something, but I never mentioned these sensitive matters, which made her very grateful.
Moreover, I continuously showed my care and consideration for my wife through my actions, and she voluntarily ended her ambiguous relationship with that man, transforming from a lover to a normal, ordinary friend.
Later, I became friends with that man, but that's another story.
Looking back now, through the process of saving my marriage and love, I also saved her and me.
(VI)
With the passage of time, our lives seemed to be back on track. For the next two or three years, I didn't touch any woman other than my wife. The lessons from the past were too profound.
However, there was a very troublesome problem: the scene from back then didn't fade with time; instead, it became clearer and clearer.
This mental block has been bothering me.
Many couples like to say some very inappropriate things when they are excited during sex. This is a very normal thing to do, as it can increase excitement and pleasure.
Later, I often asked my wife this when she was close to orgasm: "Was it comfortable when you did it with your lover?" At first, my wife, in a daze, remained cautious and said: "No, he's not as good as you." While I was moving vigorously, I gritted my teeth and said: "Tomorrow I'll find a hundred men to tie you up and play with you!" My wife was completely out of it and kept cheering. In the end, we both reached orgasm at the same time.
Later, I changed my tactics frequently. For example, when my wife was excited, I would mention her favorite male celebrity:
"Honey, you're having sex with Chow Yun-fat right now."
She would nod excitedly, and then I would ask, "Would you like to do it with other men?" She would obediently answer, "Yes, but my husband is still the best..." So, sometimes I would pretend to be her boss, sometimes her classmate, and sometimes even a stranger.
Every time I did this, the quality of our sex was surprisingly good.
But when the passion faded, if I asked her, "What did you just say?" she would definitely deny it outright: "I didn't say anything, you've really changed." Sometimes I think to myself, maybe I really have changed a little.
However, if this change can bring harmonious marital happiness, then it cannot be considered a change.
Although I knew this outcome was good, at the time I couldn't explain why or what made it good.
Moreover, deep down, I still had an unresolved knot in my heart—I still felt that I had changed a bit.
To clarify: I had told my wife all these doubts without reservation, without hiding anything.
My wife, however, was very dismissive of this, and every time she would say, "I think you're just idle, full of nonsense. You're torturing yourself." Until a few years ago, I started reading some articles about multiple partners or partner swapping, and combined with my own experiences, I used a rational mind to analyze myself again.
Moreover, it was the respectable Sister Li Yinhe who finally untied my knot.
After reading a lot of her articles on sociology and ethics, my knot was completely untied.
At least, I knew: I am a normal person.
I don't know if this is human nature, or perhaps I am someone who has this nature and potential.
(VII)
Before continuing the story, I would like to briefly mention Li Yinhe.
I don't know how many people have actually read Ms. Li Yinhe's writings.
There's a constant barrage of criticism against her online. I've read many articles attacking her, most criticizing her for disrupting marriages or family stability.
Everyone presents themselves as pure and noble Confucian gentlemen, praising the beauty of marriage while completely rejecting Li Yinhe and her professional views from a moral standpoint.
Many believe that both men and women should be absolutely faithful to their spouses and remain faithful until death.
-- Here I declare that I completely agree with this view.
However, reality and ideals often differ.
Humans are complex, and this complexity stems from the complexity of human nature.
Human nature isn't entirely good; it also contains evil, and even more ambiguous elements that exist in the gray area between good and evil.
For example, I still don't consider myself a bad person, but is it really so easy to distinguish between good and bad? When I betrayed my wife, to her, I was an absolute villain.
But faced with the reality that I had become a villain, did my wife stab me? Or should one resolutely abandon the marriage? Is it a rational attempt to salvage it, or a complete rejection? I think every wise person would not choose to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I've always been very confused by a crucial point held by those who vehemently criticize Li Yinhe: they believe that extramarital affairs are normal, as long as one is careful and doesn't let their spouse find out—it's a kind of benevolent deception.
I think if this idea were accepted by most people, how terrifying would the world be?
When faced with a wife's or husband's solemn vows, would you wonder: is his or her declaration also a benevolent deception? As a husband, put yourself in her shoes: if your wife has been unfaithful, but she's hiding it well, so you don't know, would
n't you consider this behavior abnormal? As a husband or wife, when faced with "open communication" and a flawless so-called "benevolent deception," which would you choose? If it were me, I would choose open communication.
Compared to unwavering fidelity, betrayal is wrong, but a greater mistake than betrayal is deception.
The most heartbreaking thing about being betrayed by a wife or husband is not the physical separation, but the emotional estrangement.
The blow is devastating when you suddenly discover that the person you trusted most has been deceiving you all along.
Many of Li Yinhe's articles help us recognize this more clearly. Therefore, those who vehemently criticize Li Yinhe are not so much rejecting her, but rather refusing to wake up and escape the quagmire of self-deception.
Every married person can personally attest to this: marriage is a partnership between two people.
Many things cannot be changed by your own wishes.
For example, my wife was always a devoted wife and mother, virtuous and kind, yet I still cheated on her.
Many aspects of human nature are unavoidable.
If you don't want to deceive yourself, you must bravely face them.
(VIII)
My wife and I's life finally got back on track.
It seemed that only then did we truly begin to love each other.
Especially the intimacy of our hearts, which is indescribable.
Gradually, my wife developed a habit: no matter what happened at work or outside, she would tell me everything. She'd ask for my advice on her troubles and share her joys with me.
Each time, I listened attentively.
Many times, my wife lay in my arms and said emotionally, "Honey, even if we're no longer husband and wife, I believe we'll still be best friends." -- For a man, these simple words are more precious than ten thousand "I love you"s.
Once, a female classmate I had a passionate encounter with came to our city for a conference.
Since that time, we hadn't been very close. Sometimes we'd call to say hello, occasionally exchanging sweet words, but it was more like playful banter.
My wife had seen her picture in my graduation yearbook and heard my story about her, so she wasn't entirely unfamiliar with her.
I told my wife that she was coming for the conference.
My wife jokingly said, "Want to rekindle old flames? Want me to make room for you?" I went along with it, "No need, you don't take up much space. Our bed is big, three people can sleep comfortably.
"
Hearing this, my wife started scolding me and then suddenly lunged at me to pinch me.
Originally, I only planned to treat my female classmate to a meal and show her around the city; I hadn't planned on giving her a proper reception, as the conference organizers had already arranged her accommodations. But my wife said, "It's not easy for a classmate to come all this way, why not invite her over for a visit? "
I knew perfectly well what my wife's reaction meant: she was taking the initiative.
The day my classmate arrived, my wife took a day off to accompany me to the airport.
Her explanation was, "This shows how much we value her." My classmate was quite surprised by my wife's appearance, as I hadn't told her beforehand.
But there was no need to worry; women are natural diplomats, masters of putting on a show.
Within five minutes of meeting, the two women, each harboring their own secrets, acted like sisters separated for ten years.
I glanced at their whispered conversation in the rearview mirror as I drove and couldn't help but chuckle.
Then, both women attacked me together. I thought to myself, "You two are putting on a really convincing show!" After dropping my classmate off at her place and sitting for a while, the three of us went home.
My wife ran around getting drinks and peeling apples.
She whispered to me, "She's uglier than in the photos." Haha, that's women for you.
After a while, my wife said, "You two chat for a bit. I'm going out to buy groceries. We'll eat at home tonight, even if we go out." Then, ignoring my classmate's attempts to stop her, she left.
I knew perfectly well that my wife wanted some time alone with us.
This cunning woman was tightly controlling the situation, yet outwardly she maintained a perfect facade.
She wanted to be involved, but didn't want me to see any sign of jealousy.
After my wife left, my classmate and I remained seated, completely oblivious to the impropriety that had been building after her enthusiastic antics.
My classmate said, "Your wife is so nice, I can tell. You two are so happy..." I went over, gave her a light hug, and asked, "If I told him about us, what do you think she would do?" My classmate jumped, saying, "She'd definitely kill me." I laughed, "You're shameless, sleeping with someone else's husband and then acting all intimate with him like that." My classmate kicked me, "You're the one who seduced me." Half an hour later, my wife returned from grocery shopping. The two women busied themselves in the kitchen, and I, unable to help, lay on the bed watching TV.
My wife sneaked over and asked me, "You two didn't do anything naughty while I was away, did you?" I grabbed her hand and pointed it at my crotch, saying, "Come on, check for yourself." My wife laughed and pulled away, returning to the kitchen.
(IX)
Dinner was plentiful, and the atmosphere at the table was harmonious. I drank baijiu (Chinese liquor), while my wife and my classmate drank red wine.
At first, my classmate talked about their trivial matters as a couple, as well as some embarrassing things I did in school; later, my wife reminisced about our relationship from the time we met to the time we fell in love.
Work, career, family, and so on.
She laughed heartily for a moment, then shed a few tears.
Later, they finished their red wine and started drinking beer. In the blink of an eye, four bottles of beer were gone, and they started fighting with me for the baijiu.
I was very afraid that they would say something they shouldn't after getting drunk, so I held onto the baijiu bottle tightly.
The two women quickly reached an agreement: "We won't drink that crap, we'll go out and buy some right now." They
were about to leave when I tried to stop them, but they punched and kicked me. I had no choice but to let them go.
They returned with a bunch of beer.
However, they didn't drink much, instead continuing their seemingly endless chatter about life.
Before I knew it, it was past 11 PM.
My classmate suggested going back to the hotel.
My wife strongly objected.
The hotel was far from our home, and she was worried about my safety driving after drinking. She also didn't want to let me take a taxi home alone, so she suggested my classmate stay overnight.
By then, we had moved to a bigger house with a small additional room for my parents who often stayed over.
Seeing this, my classmate didn't refuse and agreed to stay.
After a quick wash, my wife and I got into bed.
My wife's reaction was unusually warm. She was fierce, like a snake coiling around me, kissing and biting. She
screamed and shouted without restraint beneath me.
I tried repeatedly to cover her mouth to stop her screaming, but it was futile; I couldn't stop her defiant cries.
After the passion subsided, I quickly fell asleep due to the alcohol.
I don't know how much time passed, but due to the effects of ejaculation, I woke up thirsty. Just as I was about to get up to get water, I suddenly noticed my wife staring at me with wide eyes.
I jumped, asking, "Why aren't you asleep?"
She said, "No, I haven't slept at all."
I reached out and pulled her into my arms: "What's wrong, darling?"
She said, "Nothing, just overthinking."
I said, "What are you thinking about now? Tell me."
She hesitated for a moment, then asked, "Won't anything happen between you and her again?" I said, "Silly girl, believe me, I won't lie to you or hurt you again." My wife didn't say anything, burying her head in my chest.
After a while, my wife suddenly stammered and said to me, "Why don't you go check on her?" This startled me, and I quickly said, "Nonsense, be good, go to sleep." My wife said, "I'm not joking, and I'm not testing you. I mean it. Go ahead." My mind raced, trying to figure out what was going on. Before I could understand, my wife added, "Come back in an hour." I didn't answer, but silently hugged my wife and kissed her deeply.
After a long while, my wife said again, "Go..."
Pushing open the door to the small room, I quietly asked, "Is she asleep?" There was no answer.
I went to the bedside; my female classmate was lying face up, her eyes open.
I pulled back the covers and lay down next to her, whispering, "Why aren't you asleep?" My classmate nudged me, saying urgently, "Are you crazy? Hurry up and go back, or we'll both be dead if your wife comes." I said, "It's okay, I won't do anything, I'll just hold you for a bit, then I'll go back right away." My classmate sighed, turned around and hugged me tightly, then whispered in my ear, "You're really too brave, aren't you afraid your wife will wake up and not be able to find you?" I sighed and said, "She already knows about us." Hearing this, my classmate didn't react with surprise. What puzzled me was my question. I asked her, "Aren't you scared?" She thought for a moment and said, "Actually, your husband already told me when we went out to buy alcohol." I fell silent... I lay there quietly for a while, then she said, "Go back. I can't do anything to betray her again." I got up and walked towards my wife's room. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. I quickly went back to the bedside, picked her up, and said, "Come here too." My classmate struggled and cursed at me, "Put me down, you bastard, do you want to die?" I ignored her and carried her to my wife's and my room.
When we entered the room, to cover up the awkwardness, she deliberately called my wife's name loudly and said, "Don't you care about your husband? Look at the mess you've made!" My wife was equally surprised and said, "Why aren't you sleeping properly in the middle of the night? You two are just making a mess of things." I walked to the bedside and heavily threw the woman in my arms onto the bed. (10)
My female classmate, while trying to get up from the bed, said, "I'm not going to mess around with you anymore, I'm going back to sleep."
My wife said, "Since you're already here, let's talk for a while. I'm too excited from drinking to sleep."
Seeing this, my classmate went along with it and lay down on the bed, still muttering to me, "You really need to control your jerk husband." My wife laughed and pulled the blanket over her.
I went around to the edge of the bed and lay down next to my wife.
I was on the far end, my wife was in the middle, and she was on the far end.
The atmosphere became a little awkward.
Neither of us knew what to say, so I tried to make conversation with my wife, saying, "She hasn't slept either." My wife teased my classmate, "Even country bumpkins are too excited to sleep on their first trip to the city." My classmate said, "I do want to sleep, but you two are making such a racket, it's driving me crazy." I chimed in, "If I had known this would happen, I would have lent you my bed." /Y7l-p-? (1. As soon as I finished speaking, my wife immediately said, "That's right, it's not like we haven't used it before." My classmate, upon hearing this, said, "You two must be crazy." I pretended to be drunk and suddenly appeared in the middle of everyone.
My classmate tried to get up and run away, but I pulled him back and put my arm around him. So, I had one arm around her and the other around my wife.
The three of us lay there quietly without saying a word, each able to feel the other's heartbeat.
Suddenly, a hand touched my penis. Judging from the direction, the hand belonged to my wife.)
This scene, if written down for outsiders, might seem exciting, but I was extremely nervous at the time. Far from being excited, my penis felt completely limp, utterly devoid of feeling.
My wife teased me, "You useless man, two beautiful women in your arms and you don't even react!" I turned and kissed my wife fiercely, breaking the ice. My female classmate also reached out and hugged me.
The two women's hands alternately caressed my sensitive areas. Later, I moved to the outermost edge of the bed, and my wife and I embraced her from behind, caressing each other. Suddenly, she and my wife kissed. This was the first time I had truly witnessed two women caressing each other, and I never imagined it would feel so beautiful… In the middle, I tried to penetrate my classmate, but it didn't work. My initially excited penis went limp as soon as it reached the entrance.
I think it was probably because I was wary of my wife, worried that she wouldn't accept it, and also because I wasn't fully psychologically prepared. So, I had this strange feeling that prevented me from completely letting go.
However, the sensory stimulation was already intense enough.
After a while, the alcohol made me a little dizzy. The two of them cuddled together, talking intermittently, while I slowly drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, I was shaken awake. I opened my eyes and saw it was my classmate, already dressed. I wasn't quite there yet. Looking at the bed, my wife wasn't there. I asked her, "Where's XX?" She said, "She's cooking in the kitchen. Get up." I pulled her close and kissed her.
Then I got up.
That was the end of it. My classmate attended a three-day conference, and when she left, my wife and I went to the airport to see her off.
Seeing how reluctant they were to part, I realized they were both genuine.
The feeling of ulterior motives had vanished.
Afterwards, I talked to my wife about it several times, trying to understand her true motive for asking me to go to another room that night. Each time, she explained it the same way: "I drank too much."
So, I stopped pressing her.
Now, this is how I understand my wife's actions that night:
First, there was an element of excitement, but not much.
Second, perhaps it stemmed from a sense of atonement within her own heart. Although I don't believe she committed any major mistakes, that brief affair years ago remains a knot she can't untie.
Third, she wanted to use this method to firmly grasp my heart.
These three elements might all be present, or none at all.
If you carefully observe women, you'll find that they possess many mysteries you'll never understand in your lifetime.
(XI)
After this near-NP experience, I purposefully read some articles about NP online.
I discovered a very interesting phenomenon: the vast majority of men don't seem to really like the two-woman-one-man arrangement.
Based on my experience, I think this idea is very real and quite normal.
Actually, this isn't hard to understand. Since ancient times, Chinese people have always regarded sex as a very taboo and shameful thing, and the topic of sex has always been very sensitive.
Although Confucius said long ago, "Food and sex are human nature," his later disciples, especially from Zhu Xi onwards, have always advocated the suppression of human nature.
The suppression and destruction of women, in particular, is outrageous.
It seems that women, both physically and psychologically, are inherently subordinate to men.
Therefore, even today, many men commit adultery outside of marriage while shamelessly advocating "white deception," and some with a conscience, unable to resist seeking pleasure outside while enduring guilt towards their wives.
Some deeply ingrained traditional values are very difficult to break.
Therefore, many women can only choose to turn a blind eye to their husbands' misconduct—a helpless concession. In
most Chinese families, the economic foundation is generally controlled and dominated by men, which determines that women are also at a disadvantage in the superstructure of marriage. Furthermore, even in families where women are economically independent, women's innate maternal instincts make them more family-oriented than men, giving them a stronger sense of responsibility towards children and the elderly. Coupled with some subconscious traditional patriarchal ideas, women can only suppress themselves.
Returning to the initial topic of NP (Netorare), so far, this topic remains confined to online conversations with strangers. No one dares to discuss it with familiar friends or family in real life, unless it's a friendship that has blossomed from online to real-life.
Zhao Benshan once said in an interview, "In China, speaking a few truths is taken as humor." Yes, we've become accustomed to pretense. Even worse, speaking the truth is often perceived as hypocrisy, even if the listener finds what you say perfectly normal; they'll still verbally condemn you.
For example, many of those who make pronouncements are clearly insincere, yet they still speak and condemn with righteous indignation.
Rational people don't need to be angry about this, because they're deceiving themselves.
We shouldn't punish ourselves for people's foolishness.
Let's analyze the pressure on a man in a two-woman-one-man situation with his wife present: First, psychologically, if you don't deeply love your wife, you don't need to do this; if you do love her, you'll worry about her getting jealous, angry, or unhappy. No matter how well you communicate beforehand, you can't eliminate this psychological pressure unless you're not a very responsible man. Second, physiologically, due to the physiological structure of men and women, unless both women are bisexual, one of them will always be excluded, and one woman will always be temporarily neglected. Even if the women don't mind this neglect, as a man, you'll feel an invisible pressure and guilt.
This pressure and guilt can easily lead to weakness, making the whole process very regrettable.
In that case, you might as well go on a date with your lover alone; that would be more passionate and wouldn't directly harm your wife.
Since our unsuccessful near-NP encounter, my female classmate came to our city again. My wife still wanted her to stay with us, but I stopped her, and I felt really awkward.
Our relationship as a trio remained excellent, and when I was alone with her, the ambiguous feelings from before were gone. We
'd occasionally hold hands, hug, or kiss—that was all.
Sometimes, this intimacy was even more pleasurable than sex.
She frequently called my home, but most of the time she spoke with my wife. Even when I answered, we'd only exchange a few words before she handed the phone to my wife, letting the two women chatter on. The topics, to a man, were utterly tedious: for example, she'd just had a fight with her husband, and my wife would chime in to criticize him; or my wife and I had just argued, and the two of them would be nagging me on the phone.
From that moment on, I completely broke off all contact with my former lover, and I never lied to my wife about having been with another woman.
This wasn't because I was particularly self-disciplined, nor was it to uphold any promise to my wife; it was entirely voluntary.
Men who frequent hotels and restaurants often have this feeling: when you suddenly realize the warmth of home, you'll feel that no matter how luxurious the hotel, it's not as comfortable as your own bed; no matter how lavish the banquet, it's not as delicious as the few dishes on your own dining table.
When I recall my sexual encounters with other women, I truly feel that the most harmonious and comfortable sexual experience comes from my wife. That kind of intimate connection, built on a solid foundation of affection, is difficult to achieve with other women.
Two simple examples will suffice to illustrate this: When my wife and I are having sex, the moment I try to close my legs, she immediately bends and raises them, changing positions even before my thrusting stops.
Most incredibly, no matter how deeply my wife is asleep, if I gently touch her head with my arm, she immediately lifts her head so I can place my arm under her head, then turns and snuggles into my arms—all without her even realizing it.
Sometimes I envy men who are so at ease in the world of romance; I wonder how they can be so passionate with strange women.
I can't do that. I've always felt that sex should be built on a foundation of affection and communication; at the very least, the two people can't be complete strangers. Otherwise, the more you think about it, the more awkward it becomes. It's like a strange man on the street taking off his socks and handing them to you, and you continuing to wear them—I think very few people would agree to that.
Due to work, I've had frequent opportunities to visit entertainment venues over the years, but without exception, I've always chosen to drink or have tea alone.
Colleagues and friends often sincerely praise me for being very virtuous.
But these people don't understand that, in terms of bad deeds, I've probably done more than them, just in different ways. Essentially, my past actions of seducing respectable women were far more heinous.
(XII)
My wife is basically a computer novice. At work, she's limited to basic computer operations, and at home, she doesn't go online much. Her MSN usage is mostly limited to contacting classmates or family.
Starting a few years ago, I occasionally showed her some of Li Yinhe's rational articles.
-- Here, I want to add a few more points: Some say that Li Yinhe is leading people down the path of evil.
This is absolutely a major misunderstanding.
If practice precedes theory, then that theory might play a guiding role. However, when theory precedes practice, then the theory is a summary of practice.
Only such a theory can become a complete and profound theory.
This is what is commonly referred to as "theory originates from practice."
Before Li Yinhe's rational analysis, homosexuality, sadomasochism, group sex, and other such things were all real occurrences.
Therefore, Li Yinhe did not induce anyone.
On the contrary, Li Yinhe only analyzes your actions after they occur: why you do this.
She absolutely does not command you before your actions occur: how you should do it.
-- This point must be understood first.
Let me give you an example. For instance, a weaver bird can make its nest very beautiful, but before it finishes weaving a nest, it doesn't know what the nest it is weaving will look like, nor does it know its specific purpose. When completing the nest-weaving process, it is entirely driven by instinct; this is an animal.
Humans are different. Humans possess subjective initiative. Human actions are simultaneously governed by will and consciousness. That is to say, when a person does something, they know why they are doing it.
This is what is commonly referred to as "proactive initiative."
However, we are often in a state of confusion. Although we do many things, we are not clear about what we are doing, or what we are.
Li Yinhe served this purpose: "To make you clear whether what you did was right or wrong," thus distinguishing humans from animals.
It was with this initial intention that I consciously showed my wife Li Yinhe's articles. My reason for doing so wasn't to corrupt her (besides, it wouldn't work that way), but simply because I was worried she might feel psychological pressure, self-blame, or even regret about what had happened.
Knowing what happened is easy; knowing why is difficult.
This requires a patient process of guidance.
As it turned out, my approach was entirely correct.
Later, my wife told me that she regretted what happened that night after sobering up the next morning. Her regret wasn't because she had offered me the opportunity to be intimate with her female classmate, but because she was afraid I would be seen as despicable and vulgar.
She cared about my feelings and was afraid I would look down on her because of it.
However, with my proper guidance, her psychological barrier was removed.
Sometimes, when I'm intimate with my wife, I ask her, "When you meet a very handsome and outstanding man, do you ever feel a flutter in your heart?" My wife honestly replies, "Yes, but it's limited to a flutter of the heart and occasional fantasies. I don't have any desire to actually do anything with him because I've filled her heart too much." These words deeply move me; I'm moved by her honesty.
(XIII)
Before continuing, I'd like to talk about "cheating."
In many cases, cheating differs fundamentally between men and women: men cheat because they abandon reason, while women do the opposite: women cheat because they awaken their reason; when men cheat, they focus on physical and sensory stimulation, while when women cheat, they focus more on emotional exchange.
Desire is the direct cause of cheating.
However, the nature of desire differs completely between men and women when they cheat. Men's desires are closer to primal animalistic lust, while women's are different. Women's cheating is often driven by a desire for communication, a desire to be cared for and loved by the opposite sex, or even a desire to be valued and respected after being neglected by their husbands for a long time.
The reason I've always disliked reading purely erotic articles that portray women as extremely lewd and explicit is precisely this.
Unless it's a professional prostitute acting out of professional necessity, very few real women in life would genuinely portray themselves that way.
This isn't fiction, nor is it about repression; it stems from a woman's nature. Let
's talk about
the word "cheating." First, there are tracks, then the train runs on them. Wherever the tracks lead, that's where the train goes. When the train is running normally on the tracks, it can't be defined as "cheating."
Between husband and wife, if your tracks are limited to sexual intercourse between husband and wife, then when one party crosses that boundary, it's called cheating.
However, if the sexual tracks extend beyond the marriage and are genuinely accepted by both spouses, then when the train of desire travels along the tracks laid by the couple to someone else outside the marriage, it still doesn't count as cheating.
As for where the tracks lead, the key lies with each couple.
You can't force someone to do something against their will, and you certainly can't simply imitate others, otherwise the consequences will be very serious.
Whenever I see men online desperately trying to get their wives to accept couples dating, I worry for them.
I want to ask: Do you truly understand the full meaning of couples dating? Are you truly prepared emotionally? Does your wife have the psychological resilience to handle it? Is it merely a one-sided desire for that kind of alternative thrill? If so, I advise you to stop immediately and abandon this dangerous game, unless you want to destroy your family.
If you're only trying to change the reality of a lack of passion in your marriage, if you're only trying to change the blandness of your relationship by engaging in couples dating, it's like trying to find pleasure through drugs.
The final damage will be fatal.
For example, consider two couples who marry solely out of lust, without any emotional foundation. How long can such marriages last? Similarly, how long can the passion of hastily engaging in couple-based dating games for the sake of novelty last? When the passion fades, you'll find it difficult to face the mundane realities of life. More seriously, you might face unspeakable psychological barriers with your spouse.
A healthy bird flying from an eighth-floor window faces the vast blue sky where it can soar freely, while a person flying from an eighth-floor window faces being shattered to pieces.
Therefore, before attempting to fly out of a window, never forget to rationally examine whether you have wings capable of soaring through the sky.
A word of caution to those eager to engage in couple-based dating games: be extremely cautious.
Couple-based dating games can be a wonderful thing, but if done poorly, they can be fatal.
Like opium, a moderate amount can be used as medicine when appropriate, to treat illnesses and save lives, but simple overdose will damage a person's health.
Let
's not get into those empty theories and continue with our story.
I believe many couples are very loving, so I want to ask my fellow men a question: Do you often feel that your wife is like your daughter? -- Let me clarify, I strongly oppose incest.
I'm referring to that kind of heartfelt love.
Like every time I hold my daughter, feeling that little life warm against me.
At that moment, you feel that this little life is your whole life.
She is your whole world.
When my daughter was very young, I often held her and said to my wife, "Honey, the thought that one day some bastard will take our daughter away from me makes me want to chop him up." My wife would say, "Fine, you're ruthless. Let your daughter never get married." As my daughter grew up, because we were away from her for long periods, every time I saw her, I was amazed by the changes she had undergone.
From the moment she first called me "Dad,"
which moved me to tears, to now, when she deliberately teases me, I can't hit or scold my naughty daughter. In moments of anger, I can only hide away and slap myself a couple of times.
However, most of the time, in my daughter's eyes, one word from her father is more effective than a thousand words from her mother.
Many of my daughter's actions are considered outrageous by my wife, but she doesn't know that I secretly support many of her mischievous behaviors.
For example, she often makes up nicknames for me; she often associates me with some villain on TV.
These actions were once intolerable to my wife, but I didn't care.
I don't know if you've read Yang Huanshi's writing about Qian Zhongshu; Qian Zhongshu was even more mischievous than his daughter.
My wife, in my eyes, is another daughter.
When my wife is being a child, she acts very serious, but if our daughter isn't home, she doesn't act like an adult at all.
She sits and stands slouches, shakes her head, and even talks nonsense—all of this is entirely related to my teaching methods.
For example, when it's just the two of us at home, I often call her "Big Girl!" She replies, "You old geezer, what's wrong with you?" Sometimes I'm lying on the sofa reading a book, and she comes over and unzips my pants. I ask warily, "What are you doing?" She says, "None of your business." Then she takes out my penis, holds it in her hand, and tilts her head to say to me, "This is mine!" I say, "Yes, it's yours, cut it off and take it." My wife says, "No, it has to be stored here with you. You have to take good care of it for me, and you're not allowed to lend it out without my permission." "For someone else to use..." When I'm having sex with my wife, I often tease her like this: "Honey, I'm old and useless. I'll find you a handsome young man tomorrow." My wife will definitely act very impatient and say, "Okay, okay, hurry up! I've long since lost interest in you, you old geezer." Sometimes, I really do have that thought about finding a handsome young man for my wife. This isn't because I enjoy imagining how exciting it would be for my beloved woman to be under a red man; it's more about Confucius's saying: "Food and sex are human nature."
Sex is as ordinary as eating.
Wakin Chau has a song: "My dearest baby, I want to cross mountains to find the lost sun, to find the lost moon; my dearest baby, I want to cross oceans to find the lost rainbow, to catch the fleeting shooting star; I want to fly to the endless night sky, to pluck a star for you to play with; I want to touch the moon with my own hands, and write your name on it..." This song was sung by Wakin Chau to his daughter, but many people mistakenly believe it's a love song. However, this misunderstanding is quite apt; it is indeed a love song.
The emotions in the song can only be understood by men who truly love their wives.
A wife's first physical contact with another man is infidelity, an experience painful for both of us, stemming from betrayal.
However, even for couples who have never had an affair, psychologically speaking, both men and women may occasionally experience longing for other members of the opposite sex outside of marriage. This longing is perfectly normal.
This longing, or infatuation, is often not necessarily driven by a desire for betrayal, but simply by curiosity.
Human beings' continuous exploration is largely driven by this curiosity about the unknown.
Therefore, I decided to find an opportunity to satisfy my wife's curiosity. However, this couldn't be rushed. At the very least, I needed to make her understand that her actions were based on my unwavering support; I needed to let her know that I was her strong backing.
Only under these circumstances could my wife relax without any reservations. Zhuangzi, one of
the fifteen
founders of Taoism, always advocated governing through non-action, which is also the most basic concept of Taoism: "Nothingness without anything."
The thoughts of various schools of thought in China are interconnected in many ways.
For example, the concept of "no thought. " In military strategy, this is similar to Sun Tzu's strategic concept of
"subduing the enemy without fighting ." Of course, this "nothingness" is only superficial, similar to the saying "A gentleman loves, but acquires in a proper way." So-called "nothingness" doesn't mean doing nothing. For example, if you are an ordinary employee in a company and you really want a promotion, how can you get one? Ask the boss for a promotion? You might get kicked out immediately. In that situation, what you need to do most is to do your current job well and seize opportunities to showcase your talents in extra work. If you do this, it's impossible not to get promoted. This is the true meaning of "governing without striving." Applying the idea of "governing without striving" to a marital relationship means: don't deliberately try to find where your passion lies, don't be passionate for the sake of passion. If you truly love your wife and consider her your only one in this life (please note, "only one" refers to your only true love), if you truly consider your family your top priority, then prove it with your actions by wholeheartedly caring for and protecting her. Based on my own experience, I can tell you that if you wholeheartedly love your wife, then after making the above efforts, you and she will truly become close friends. In this case, whatever you want to do, she will support you, and this support will be heartfelt. To use a somewhat inappropriate analogy: it's like being able to go to a brothel with your best friend without feeling any shame.

--So, if you want to try couples dating, why doesn't she support you? Now that her psychological barriers are gone, will she refuse the opportunity to relax? This method is similar to the encirclement and suppression tactics used by the Eighth Route Army and the New Fourth Army during the War of Resistance Against Japan.
You can try it; it might give you a pleasant surprise.
And ultimately, home is you, your wife, and your family.
Now, let's get back to the main topic and talk about our relationship.
I've never seriously told my wife, "Honey, I'm going to find you a handsome guy on a certain day to satisfy your curiosity." Although I occasionally tease her during sex, I never do it like that normally. No matter what she thinks, I feel awkward myself.
In Taoist thought, there's a famous concept: "When things happen, the mind responds; when things go, the mind stops." Many people know this saying, but many can't put it into practice. Saying this doesn't mean I've definitely achieved it.
For example, finding a wallet is called "things come," and I'm happy, which is called "heart responds." However, if I were to lose my own wallet, I couldn't "heart stop," and I would feel heartbroken, as if my flesh had been cut off.
That being said, "it's hard to do"
shouldn't be a reason for us to refuse.
Even if we can't do it completely, we can at least try. For example, we can interpret "things come, heart responds" as "patiently waiting for the right time to act."
The right time finally came, but I hadn't expected it beforehand.
(Sixteen)
One August, my wife and I decided to take our annual leave and go on a tour together.
Before we got married, we often dreamed of going to the tropical rainforest of Xishuangbanna or the vast grasslands of Tibet, often dreaming of the romance of the ancient Loulan Kingdom and the purity of the snowy Qinghai-Tibet Plateau.
We've been married for many years now, but due to work and life, the trip has been put on hold.
This time, we finally made up our minds to put aside all the seemingly endless chores and go on a relaxing trip for half a month.
We spent a long time researching our travel itinerary, ultimately abandoning our previous long-desired destinations due to time constraints. We ended up joining a tour group from China Railway Travel Service, starting in Zhangjiajie, Hunan, and continuing to Guangzhou and Shenzhen.
Our main destination was Zhangjiajie.
Most of the tour group consisted of couples, and some were families of three.
There was only one lone traveler – a tall, handsome young man in his early twenties studying at a university in Guangzhou; let's call him C. He was traveling to school during the two weeks before the semester started.
C was very outgoing, sunny, and cheerful. He was in the next berth on the train with my wife and me and quickly became friendly.
His youthful mindset and carefree attitude often made my wife and me laugh, making us feel like we were back in our carefree student days.
In the days that followed, he became our little helper. Whether shopping or in scenic spots, my wife and I traveled light—food and other necessities were all stuffed into his backpack. Even when shopping on the street, my wife would confidently shove large and small bags into his hands, saying in a commanding tone, "Carry them obediently." He would obediently take them, while deliberately making a miserable face, saying, "Oh God, why is my life so miserable?" I told him, "Just be happy, this is giving you a free lesson, letting you know how troublesome women can be, so you won't be caught off guard." Some men may be born knowing how to get along with women.
This little boy was one of those people. He often used some almost mischievous behavior to evoke my wife's tenderness. For example, while walking down the street, he suddenly stopped in front of a food stall and begged my wife, "Sister, have pity on me, I'm starving." My wife and I had no choice but to sit there with him and watch him devour those inexplicable snacks that neither my wife nor I were interested in.
His wife rested her chin on her hand, smiling at him as if he were her younger brother or one of her children.
In Zhangjiajie, her new hiking shoes rubbed her heels raw while climbing, causing her to limp and suffer greatly without any spare shoes.
We had brought band-aids, but they were in Xiao C's backpack, and Xiao C wasn't with the group.
He'd probably gone off somewhere to have some fun.
My wife, furious, sat on the ground cursing, "That damned thing! He left without a word! He should have left my bag!" I was at a loss, and could only comfort her, "If it's really necessary, you can wear my shoes. I'll just walk barefoot.
"
My wife said, "Fine, just bear with it. If we walk barefoot on this mountain path, I'll have to find someone to carry you down." Just as we were both frowning in worry, we saw Little C running up the mountain from the bottom, panting and covered in sweat. Before he could say anything, my wife started yelling at him, "You rascal, where have you been? Hurry up and give me my bag!" Little C grinned without saying a word, and in the blink of an eye, as if by magic, he pulled a pair of shoes out of his bag. They were just ordinary rubber-soled cloth shoes, ugly in appearance, but very comfortable to wear.
My wife and I were very surprised and asked in unison, "Did you run down to buy shoes?" You know, that's a round trip of nearly four or five kilometers.
Little C chuckled and said, "It's nothing, I'm athletic, this little distance is nothing. I can cover it in the blink of an eye." He then handed his shoes to his wife, saying, "Sis, change into these quickly." This gesture moved my wife and me to tears.
After changing her shoes, my wife's discomfort completely disappeared.
I said to Little C, "Give me your backpack quickly, you can rest for a bit." Little C casually replied, "Brother, you look down on me like that? This little distance is nothing." Along the way, we took many photos together, but hadn't taken a group photo yet. During a rest break halfway up the mountain, Little C pulled out his camera and handed it to me. I said, "Why don't you take a picture with your sister?" My wife happily ran to his side and naturally hugged his neck. Through the lens, I noticed Little C's face suddenly flushed red with embarrassment.
After taking the picture, I teased Xiao C, saying, "You'd better be careful, don't let your girlfriend see this photo, or you're dead." Xiao C had calmed down by then and said, "What's there to be afraid of? Who can stop me from taking a picture with my older sister?" That night, after returning to the hotel and taking a shower, my wife lay on the bed, and I massaged her.
My wife sighed, "Little C is such a good boy. I wonder which lucky girl will marry him." I said, "What? Getting greedy? Should we try to win him over?" My wife slapped me and said, "You're so shameless, ruining a young man's life!" I said, "What young man? If he hadn't gone to graduate school, he would be working by now. When I was his age, you would have already dragged me down with you." During the ensuing sexual activity, I asked my wife again, "Honey, really, do you really like him? If you do, I'll arrange it for you." My wife thought for a moment and said, "I can't say it out loud. People will think I'm a lovesick fool. That would be embarrassing." I said, "That's none of your concern. I'll arrange it for you. Everything will fall into place." The next afternoon, we were back on the train heading to our next stop, Guiyang.
Little C was still all smiles.
In contrast, my wife was much quieter, probably because of our conversation the night before.
My wife was lying on her bunk quietly reading some magazines, but every time Little C made a noise from the bunk opposite, she would immediately steal a glance, clearly harboring something.
In the middle of the night, while Little C was wandering around the Hong carriage, I jumped down from the middle bunk and sat next to my wife, whispering in her ear, "What were you thinking about just now?" My wife pretended not to understand and said, "What? I was reading." I said, "Don't lie to me, let me check."
After saying that, I reached for my wife's pants. My wife hit me with a magazine and said, "What are you doing? There are so many people on the train!" Looking at my wife's face, she was already extremely embarrassed.
The train arrived in Guiyang in the morning. The itinerary was tight; we would spend a day in Guiyang and then head to Guangzhou that evening.
I was very familiar with Guiyang, having been there several times for business. So, when the train arrived, I said to my wife and Xiao C, "You two go on a tour. I don't want to get off the train. I've been too tired these past few days; a day of rest is just what I need." Xiao C readily agreed, "Don't worry about leaving your older sister in my care. I'm a natural protector of flowers.
"
My wife said to me somewhat awkwardly, "Since we're here, let's go sightseeing together." I secretly winked at my wife, "I come here often; there's nothing much to do. You two go ahead." There were two reasons why I didn't want to get off the train. First, I really didn't want to revisit a place I was already very familiar with.
Second, and most importantly, I wanted to give them some time alone.
Watching my wife and Xiao C walk away side by side on the platform through the train window, and seeing Xiao C gesturing and talking to my wife,
my heart was calm and sweet, without the slightest jealousy. It felt like a father watching his grown-up daughter happily go on a date with her lover.
-- This feeling is very natural when you consider your wife's happiness and joy as the most important thing in your life.
Of course, there is another more important reason for this feeling: full confidence in myself, my wife, and my marriage.
(17)
In the afternoon, the two of them returned to the train. It was clear that they had a great time and brought me back a lot of food.
The three of us sat around the tea table and began to eat dinner.
Xiao C sat opposite me and told me about the day's events and some interesting stories, including seeing the police arrest a drug dealer on the street.
My wife sat next to me, not in a hurry to eat, but just hugged my arm and rested her head on my shoulder. I could feel that my wife was looking at Xiao C with love. Xiao C, on the other hand, still looked carefree and cheerful.
The train journey was long, and since our tour train was a temporary operation, there was no fixed schedule. Sometimes it would stop for hours at a small, well-known station.
When we were bored, the three of us played cards to pass the time.
By this time, Xiao C had become like family to us, constantly calling us "brother," "elder brother," "older sister," and "beautiful lady," which often made my wife laugh uncontrollably.
Finally, on a sunny morning, the train arrived in Guangzhou as planned.
Xiao C proudly told us, "This is my second hometown. We don't need a tour guide here; I'm the excellent one." At this time of year, most of southern China is hot, and Guangzhou was no exception, although the mornings were pleasant.
After getting off the train, the group went to the accommodations arranged by the travel agency—a very nice three-star hotel.
After settling in, the three of us left the group to explore on our own.
Xiao C, with his experience, said, "Most tour destinations are shopping areas, not very fun." So, led by Xiao C, we happily wandered around.
In the middle of the evening, I took a moment to tell my wife, "I'm going to a classmate's house tonight, so it's up to you now." My wife feigned surprise and reluctance, saying, "Are you serious? Are you crazy?" I patted her cheek and said, "Be nervous, don't worry, if it doesn't feel right, stop. Just relax." My wife blushed and said, "We'll see." Around 4 PM, we got tired of walking and decided to go back to the hotel.
After eating at the restaurant on the first floor
, back in our room, I called my university classmate who lived in Guangzhou. Hearing my voice, he thought I was at home. I said, "Hey kid, I'm in Guangzhou." He excitedly exclaimed on the other end of the phone, "Oh my god, sir, where are you? I'll come pick you up right away!" So, we agreed to meet near my hotel an hour later.
At this point, my wife was incredibly nervous.
She kept asking me, "Can you stop messing around?"
I hugged her and said, "Honey, really, don't be nervous. If you feel awkward or unhappy, just don't do anything. I'll tell him to come over and keep you company, but I won't give him any real instructions to avoid embarrassment. The rest is up to you two. I'll be back tomorrow morning." Before leaving, my wife hugged me from behind, and we walked towards the door, one after the other, muttering:
"Honey, you're such a brat, let's stop playing, okay?"
Reaching the door, I turned back, hugged her, and gently kissed her, saying, "Sweetie, don't be scared, your husband will always be there for you. Like I said, if you're not happy, don't force yourself. My phone's always on, you can call me back anytime." After saying that, I left the room and went to Xiao C's place. Xiao C was fiddling with the TV in his room. I said to him, "I'm going to meet an old classmate I haven't seen in years tonight. When you're free, go keep your sister company so she won't be bored. Also, I forgot to massage her shoulders; they always hurt when she walks too much." Xiao C said, "Hey, it's not a female classmate, is it?" I kicked him, "Kids shouldn't ask around." After saying that, I left the hotel.
(18)
A classmate from Guangzhou, who was my roommate in college. Her hometown is a small city in the north. During college, she hooked up with a well-connected girl from Guangzhou, and after graduation, we were both assigned to Guangzhou.
Since graduation, we haven't seen each other, but we've kept in touch by phone.
When we met, this guy, with the typical hearty and straightforward manner of a northern man, ran over to me shouting and hugged me tightly, spinning me around a few times.
He asked me, "Are you in Guangzhou on business or personal?"
I didn't mention that I was traveling with my wife, otherwise he would definitely have invited her. I said, "Just some business, but it's all done. I was planning to go back tonight, but I wanted to see you, so I changed my plans to leave tomorrow. You have to take me in tonight, otherwise I'll be homeless." My classmate said, "No problem, I can give you my whole house to live in." I said, "It would be best if you left your wife too." My classmate punched me hard and said, "Still the same shameless face you had back then." Sitting in the car, I asked my classmate, "Where are we going now?" My classmate said, "Nowhere, just home. I called your aunt, she and the housekeeper are preparing dinner at home." Haha, he called his wife my aunt. We've been making this kind of joke since we were in school. Back in our college days, dating was a secretive thing, and we could only hide in the dorm. Every time he brought his girlfriend back to the dorm, he would say, "Kids, your aunt is here, get out of here!" So, everyone would curse and reluctantly leave the dorm.
That evening, we drank over a pound of strong liquor, reminiscing about our student days while sighing and discussing our work frustrations, occasionally cursing, "Fuck it all..." It seems people are never truly satisfied. Take my classmate, for example; if he hadn't hooked up with someone powerful, he might still be a lowly township official in some unknown small town, or worse, maybe eating chalk dust in some cramped school.
Looking at him now, his career is thriving, his father-in-law, though retired, has already arranged everything, and he even has a maid who silently endures their exploitation.
After drinking a certain amount of alcohol, we started drinking tea, chatting about everything under the sun, the conversation seemingly endless. At one point, I missed my wife and made a phone call. I asked, "How are you?" My wife didn't answer directly, only saying, "Honey, drink less, and come home early tomorrow." I said, "Don't worry, I'm fine. Cheer up, I love you." My classmate, seeing me calling home, grabbed my phone, saying, "Let me say a few words to my nephew's wife." I quickly hung up.
My classmate scoffed, "Damn, your kids are all grown up, what are you pretending to be young for? 'I love you,' how cheesy!" I spat at him and said, "You don't know anything." That night, my classmate and I chatted until after 1 a.m. His wife came into the living room twice and mocked, "Hmm, not bad, finally found someone to brag to. You two better stop." My classmate said, "Damn, I haven't been this happy in years." The next morning, my classmate insisted on taking me to the airport, saying I really had to leave Guangzhou. I said, "You don't need to worry about me. I'll just wander around and buy some things for my wife and kids. The airport bus is convenient; I can go anytime." So, my classmate went to work, and we parted ways. I took a taxi back to the hotel.
On the way, I called my wife to tell her I was back.
I used my room card to open the door and entered the room. My wife hadn't gotten up yet, lying face down under the blanket. I knew she was pretending to be asleep.
I went over and lay down beside her, patting her on the shoulder. "Did you have a long night? You must be exhausted." My wife turned and hugged me, burying her face in my chest, playfully punching me with her little fists, muttering, "You're so naughty, so naughty, so naughty..." I turned her face away, yanked off the towel covering her, and said, "I need to check on my husband, Belle, to see if any parts are missing." My wife laughed and ran into the bathroom.
While she was showering, I glanced around the room; both beds were a mess.
It seemed they had had a very passionate night.
Perhaps because I had drunk too much last night, my head was still foggy, and I couldn't make sense of it.
I turned on the TV and randomly picked a channel.
A little while later, my wife came out of the shower, wrapped herself in a towel, jumped onto the bed, and hugged me.
I asked her, "Honey, did you have fun last night?"
My wife thought for a moment and said, "Honey, you won't blame me, will you?"
I hugged her and said, "What, silly girl."
My wife said, "He was really amazing. He basically kept me going all night, doing it five times. I felt like we were back in the early days of our marriage. My back is still sore." I said, "Let's not go out today. You should rest for a day." My wife looked into my eyes and said from the bottom of her heart, "Honey, thank you for everything you've given me." I asked her, "When did he leave?" My wife said, "He went back around 5 a.m., afraid you'd see him when you came back. Before he left, he kept asking me, 'Am I being too unfair to my brother?'" I asked my wife, "You didn't tell him I agreed to this, did you?" My wife said, "How could I tell him? Besides, he wouldn't believe me anyway, and he might even retaliate." So, I hugged my wife and we slept until a little after 11 a.m. We got up, washed our faces, and went out for lunch together.
We knocked on Xiao C's door, but there was no response after a while. Just as my wife and I were about to leave, assuming he wasn't in, the door opened.
Xiao C stood there with red eyes, clearly still half asleep.
He looked at me, startled.
Afraid of embarrassing him, I avoided looking directly at him. As I walked towards the room, I teased him, "Kid, what mischief did you get up to last night? You're so sleepy!" Xiao C stammered, unable to say anything coherent. My wife quickly chimed in, saying, "Hurry up and wash your face, let's go downstairs for lunch." Xiao C, as if granted a pardon, agreed and quickly fled into the bathroom.
My wife nudged me and whispered, "You're so naughty."
At the lunch table, Xiao C's expression was very unnatural, his eyes constantly darting away from me.
Seeing this, I got mischievous again and said to him, "Kid, judging from my old-timer's perspective, you must have done something bad last night. Are you going to confess willingly, or wait for me to interrogate you?" Little C chuckled awkwardly and didn't say anything. My wife smoothed things over, saying to him, "Screw you, eat your food." I chimed in, "Hmm, I'll remind the others later if they have any wallets. I bet you were a pickpocket last night." This made my wife and Little C laugh.
The atmosphere returned to normal.
After lunch, because it was too hot, none of the three of us wanted to go out, so we went back to our room to play cards.
The afternoon passed in this cheerful atmosphere.
We stayed another night in Guangzhou. The travel agency's plan was to take the Guangzhou-Shenzhen high-speed train to Shenzhen the next day. The
tourist train we had taken here was waiting for us in Guangzhou.
That night, as we were going to bed, my wife told me in detail what had happened: Shortly after I left, Little C came to our room. At first, they chatted, and then the two of them played cards for a while.
Later, Xiao C said, "My older brother told me to massage your shoulders before he left." So, his wife obediently lay down on the bed, and Xiao C began massaging her shoulders and legs.
The atmosphere grew increasingly ambiguous, and his wife asked Xiao C, "What kind of girlfriend are you looking for?" Xiao C said, "I have a girlfriend now, but I just can't seem to find the right feeling, and it's unlikely we'll end up together after graduation." His wife asked, "What kind are you looking for?" Xiao C said, "I wish I could meet someone like you, sister." His wife said, "Don't worry about that. You're very cute and excellent. You'll definitely meet a girl much better than your sister. Your sister won't do anymore, she's too old." A normal man in this situation would definitely know what to do next, and so, everything happened naturally... The next day on the streets of Shenzhen, his wife playfully clung to Xiao C's arm, and Xiao C looked at me very nervously.
That scene reminded me of the Big Bad Wolf hugging the Little White Rabbit—except, the Big Bad Wolf wasn't him, but his wife.
I deliberately said to my wife, "Go ahead and torment children."
My wife proudly replied, "I'd love to. He's my brother; nobody can stop him." After a day in Shenzhen, we returned to Guangzhou and took a bus back overnight. Little C went straight back to school. When we parted, my wife cried her eyes out, which made Little C tear up too. We gave him both our phones and told him to contact us if he needed anything.
His home is very close to our city, so we told him he could visit during his holidays, and we'd be his tour guide.
On the train back, my wife sat alone on her berth, lost in thought. After a long while, she said to me, "Honey, everything that happened in the past seems like a dream now." I said, "A nightmare or a beautiful dream?" My wife said, "I can't say for sure, but it's definitely not a nightmare." I thought for a moment and said, "Isn't life itself a kind of dream? Like the story of Zhuangzi dreaming of being a butterfly: being a butterfly is a human's dream, but who can say for sure that being a human is also just a butterfly's dream?" My wife didn't say anything, just leaned against me silently.
I patted my wife's shoulder and said, "Honey, I know you miss him. It's okay, there will be many more opportunities to see each other in the future." My wife said, "Actually, I don't miss him that much as a person, but I keep thinking about what happened in the past few days. Even if we see each other again, who knows if I'll still feel this way." I said, "Don't worry, respond to things as they come, and let them go as they go. Take it one step at a time. Don't worry, I'm here for you."
"
After returning home and resting for two days, we spent those two days in our own little world, cuddling together.
After this trip, I found that my wife was even more dependent on me.
If I left her side for even a moment, she would immediately call out, 'Honey, what are you doing?' Two days later, we both went back to work, and life returned to normal. (19)"
For the next few days, Xiao C kept in touch with his wife.
They frequently exchanged text messages, some sweet and some risqué.
When my wife and I were home, we left our phones lying around aimlessly, but I never looked through hers, and she had no reason to look through mine.
Sometimes, while showing me the text messages Xiao C sent expressing his longing, my wife would ask me worriedly, "Do you think we've given this child away?" I said, "Don't worry about that. It's normal for him to be so passionate. However, you need to guide him properly and not let him get too deeply involved, otherwise you'll really ruin him." When they were on the phone, if I happened to be home, my wife would sometimes say to him, "Your brother's home, why don't you talk to him for a bit?" On the phone, Xiao C would still be in a cheerful tone, saying, "Hey bro, you didn't bully my sister, did you?" I said, "How could I? You think Sister Si is easy to deal with. It's good enough if she doesn't bully me." Then I would hear him chuckle foolishly on the other end of the line.
Occasionally, my wife would misbehave. In front of me, she'd wink and say on the phone, "Your brother's not home, tell me quickly, have you missed me?" Then she'd make kissing sounds on the phone.
I bet C was going crazy with excitement on the other end.
A few months passed, and C was about to start his winter break. One day, my wife came home from work and said, "Honey, C texted me saying he's transferring trains here and wants to see me alone, but he doesn't want you to know. What should I do? Should
I refuse him?"
I told her, "It's okay, it's up to you. If you miss him, you can stay overnight. Going to a hotel isn't safe, let's go home. I'm going to my parents' house, which will be good for spending time with our daughter. You can tell C I'm on a business trip." My wife immediately jumped up and down excitedly, hugging my neck.
Then, feigning seriousness, she said, "You old geezer, look how much you've spoiled me!" I retorted, "Of course! You're my only wife, who else would I spoil?" C arrived in our city that morning, on a weekend.
Since his wife had told him beforehand that he wasn't home, he called her from the train around 5 a.m. I lay sleepily beside her, listening to their intimate conversation. I reached out and touched her private parts; they were already overflowing with desire.
I crawled between her legs and began to caress her with my tongue.
She was excited but had to speak in a normal tone,
only able to hook her legs around mine alternately.
After a while, I moved behind her, guided my erect penis, and gently entered her from behind, slowly thrusting in and out, careful not to rush so C wouldn't hear her panting.
She put the phone to her ear and under her head, then reached out and gripped my arm tightly.
Perhaps due to the excitement, I soon ejaculated.
C's train arrived at 7 a.m., and his wife promised to pick him up. I drove her to the station, bought her a platform ticket, and explained some safety details.
(Actually, there's not much to explain. My wife has an IUD, and with a sunny guy like C, she doesn't have to worry about health issues. They didn't use a condom the first time.
) I helped my wife plan everything: after she picks C up, they'll have a simple breakfast at a small restaurant, then go grocery shopping together and head home. If C didn't rest well on the way, he can sleep at home. Then they'll cook together and enjoy a nice day together. He'll stay at my house that night, and I'll take him to the train station the next morning.
Watching my wife walk into the station, looking back several times, I turned around and went back to my parents' house.
My daughter was still angry when she saw me.
Usually, she lives with her grandparents, partly because she's used to living with them since she was little, and partly because it's close to her school.
So, she can only come back to my wife and me on weekends.
But this weekend, I didn't let her come home, which made her very angry.
I said to my daughter, "Sweetie, don't be angry. Mommy has something to do, Daddy will stay with you. Where do you want to go today? I'll do whatever you want." My daughter's anger subsided, and she started making specific requests. Actually, children's requests are very simple; they just want KFC, McDonald's, and maybe a trip to the amusement park to play those games they never seem to tire of.
Sitting on a park bench, I sipped my drink and watched my daughter laughing happily on the carousel.
I started thinking about the two most important women in my life.
My daughter, with me by her side, was very happy at this moment; my wife, with my arrangements, was equally happy at this moment.
Children have their way of playing, and adults have theirs. In a way, aren't all loving couples, in each other's eyes, just like children?
I'm not saying this to imply that we're using Xiao C as a tool. From the beginning until now, my wife and I have treated Xiao C with great respect.
Of course, this respect is based on mutual respect.
The reason we kept part of the truth from Little C wasn't out of deception, but entirely out of goodwill.
He might not yet understand or accept this unconventional approach.
I think that perhaps one day, after we've ensured he fully understands these things, we will tell him the truth.
(20)
Around noon, my wife called and asked, "What are you doing right now?" I said, "I'm with a woman." My wife said, "Are you tired of living?" I said, "Are you even reasonable? You can set the whole mountain on fire, but I can't even light a candle?" My wife said, "Seriously, you're so busy with yourself, take your daughter out to play when you have some free time." I said, "Pah, you still remember your daughter? Don't worry, I'll take her to the amusement park." My wife said, "You old geezer, that little kid, you call her a 'woman'? You're worse than an animal." I said, "Stop joking, how's it going between you two?" My wife said, "He's sleeping, he's been on the train for a day and a night, he's exhausted." I said, "It's not just because of the train, is it? You two didn't do anything inappropriate?"
# My wife retorted, "What do you think?"
I said, "They're definitely burning with desire and can't wait."
My wife deliberately teased me, "You know that, why are you still asking? You're obviously an idiot."
I said to my wife seriously, "I'm not arguing with you anymore. If you two are bored at home, you can take him for a walk in the street, but remember, absolutely no arm-in-arm in our neighborhood, otherwise we're both doomed." My wife said, "I know what to do. You're even more nagging than my dad." I said, "That's really true. I am your spiritual father." My wife said, "Honey, I miss you. What should I do?" I said, "You're never satisfied, are you? You're always thinking about other things." My wife said, "It's not my fault, it's all because you spoil me..." I That evening, I returned to my parents' house. After dinner, my daughter, who was tired from the day, went to bed early. I chatted with my parents for a while.
Then I went to the balcony and called home, but no one answered.
I called my wife's cell phone again, but the line was noisy. It turned out she and Xiao C were out having barbecue, and I could tell she'd been drinking. My wife, being cunning, pretended to be friendly with Xiao C and asked me, "Honey, are you coming home on time tomorrow?" I whispered, "What do you mean? Haven't you had enough fun yet?" My wife said, "I miss you, come home soon."
I said, "Don't stay out too late, come home early." My wife readily agreed.
The next day at noon, after a reluctant farewell to my daughter, I returned home.
The house was spotless. My wife was watching TV on the sofa. When she saw me come in, she rushed over and hugged me, saying, "Let me check if my husband is missing any parts." I scoffed at her, holding her close, and threw her onto the sofa, saying, "You've got it backwards. I should be checking if you're missing any parts." My wife mischievously said, "It's impossible for you to be missing any parts. Maybe there's even an extra one." I said, "If I were pregnant, you'd be the one suffering." After saying that, I sat on the sofa, pinched my wife's nose, and said, "Tell me what naughty things you did yesterday." My wife said, "I mentioned it. From the moment we got off the train, Little C started getting restless, and I couldn't stop him..." Apparently, after my wife picked Little C up from the train, she suggested going to have breakfast, but Little C said he had already eaten in the dining car, so the two went straight home.
They started kissing and caressing passionately without even washing their faces. At my wife's insistence, they took a quick shower, and before they were even dry, they made love in the bathroom.
Then, back in bed, they did it a second time.
Afterwards, the two of them lay chatting, and before they knew it, Xiao C had fallen asleep.
During this time, my wife called me.
Xiao C didn't wake up until almost dark, and the two of them went to a barbecue restaurant for barbecue and drank a lot of alcohol.
When they got home, it was basically another sleepless night.
Speaking of this, my wife went to the computer desk, took out a CD, and said to me mysteriously, "Want to watch it?" I asked in surprise, "You recorded it?" My wife said, "Yes, I recorded part of it tonight, but let's make it clear first, you can't laugh at me after watching it." I said, "You recorded this stuff, and Xiao C said he didn't want it?" My wife said, "He was very worried that you would find out, and he kept reminding me before he left. I told him not to worry, I would hide it well." I took the CD, turned on the computer, and inserted the CD. Scenes that made my blood boil appeared.
This feeling was incomparable to any pornographic film, because the protagonist was my beloved.
At this moment, my wife quietly came over, knelt between my legs, and unzipped my pants. I stopped her, saying,
"You naughty girl, I haven't washed yet."
My wife said, "I don't care, I don't mind."
Then she resolutely took my penis into her mouth... Not long after, the intense stimulation made me ejaculate in my wife's mouth.
Afterwards, lying in bed, my wife nestled against me like a little bird.
Perhaps because she was too tired last night, she soon fell into a deep sleep.
Looking at my wife's unguarded and quiet face, a tenderness rose from the bottom of my heart.
At that moment, I truly felt: the woman in my arms was a part of my body.
(Twenty-one)
Life described in words is a condensation of life, but real life is much more mundane than life condensed into words.
This matter passed just like that, and my wife and I returned to the mundane routine of life.
Afterwards, my wife and I would occasionally mention that matter.
But not about a specific detail of the process, but rather our psychological exchange about it.
At first, my wife was worried, afraid of causing me any harm.
However, this worry soon disappeared.
I would occasionally take out that DVD to watch, but only when my wife wasn't home. I was also afraid that watching such things in front of her would put unnecessary pressure on her.
Men who have been married for a long time often have this feeling: women, in many ways, are more like small animals.
When she's obedient, she can melt your heart, but when she's unreasonable, she can often make you so angry you want to gag her, tie her up, and throw her into a corner you can't see.
However, if you treat her well, this little animal will wag her tail and prance you most of the time.
But, one can't always maintain absolute tolerance and rationality.
For example, a man might be overwhelmed by work during the day, and when he gets home, he inevitably has to think about how to deal with a scolding from his boss the next day.
At this time, you might be in a low mood and not in the mood to joke around with her.
So, problems arose: she could connect everything to her imagination, and worst of all, whatever came to mind, she would start to believe and spout nonsense, like, "Who are you trying to fool with that face? Is it because I gave Mom too much money last month, that you're upset?" There were even more outrageous things: "Last night, I just mentioned having my mom come over, and look at you now, you're a mess. When you're old, your daughter will kick you out of the house too." Once, I got a terrible scolding from my lousy boss during the day, and he scolded me for... For no reason, since the mistake had nothing to do with me, and the root of the problem lay with his incompetent command, but rank makes right. He pointed at me with an air of self-righteousness, launching into a long, rambling speech, spitting all over my face. My head was spinning, and I yelled back, "You son of a bitch, don't talk back to me! Tomorrow I'm going to the provincial department and I'll fight you to the death! You shameless bastard, next time point at me, or I'll chop off your paws and use them as a snack!" These words enraged my unprepared boss, who plopped down in his chair.
I turned and slammed the door shut, but because the window was open, the suction was too strong, and the glass shattered with a crash.
This made things even worse; people from other offices came out to see what was going on.
I stormed out of the office, my face cold, and went home.
On the way, a colleague called my cell phone, and in my anger, I didn't hesitate to rip the battery out and throw it onto the back seat of my car.
Back home, my mind was filled with this terrible incident. As I calmed down, I started to feel a chill, because my boss was known for his arrogance.
I thought: This time, I'm completely ruined.
At first, my wife didn't notice my change in mood.
After dinner, I sat alone in the living room, lost in thought.
My wife finished washing the dishes and went to take a shower.
When she came out, she squeezed onto the sofa, stretched her feet out onto my lap, and said, "Trim my toenails." (It's been a habit for years; I've always trimmed my wife's fingernails and toenails.
) I looked at her toenails; they weren't long. I said to her, "Didn't you just trim them a couple of days ago? They're not long now, why trim them?" My wife said, "Who said they're not long? My socks are already bursting." Impatiently, I grabbed her foot and threw it off my lap.
As a result, my unsuspecting wife plopped down on the floor.
-- This is it, I'm completely finished. Forget about getting anything done tonight; I'll just have to appease her.
I bowed, knelt, kowtowed, and even slapped myself a few times—it didn't hurt much.
She still wouldn't let it go.
Furious, I dressed and stormed out.
My wife then called my parents, telling my dad, "Dad, your son went out with a rope, saying he's going to commit suicide." My poor parents took a taxi to our house in the middle of the night, forcing me to perform the bowing again and swear I'd never bully her again.
Only then did they leave reassured.
After they left, my wife looked smug and said, "You little brat, you didn't go and kill yourself, huh?" I ignored her and went to sleep in the small room.
She, too, seemed quite determined, ignoring me all night.
The next day, I went to work nervously, prepared to give up entirely, determined to fight to the bitter end.
Shortly after work started, my boss's secretary rushed into my office and said, "The boss wants to see you." I secretly asked him, "What does he mean? Is he trying to mess with me?" The secretary quickly waved his hand, "Don't mess with me, you can't guess what the boss wants."
I cursed, "Look at you, you're a complete dog." After saying that, I went to the boss's office.
Things weren't as bad as I expected. When that bastard saw me come in, he pointed to the sofa, "Sit down and let's talk." I obediently sat down, but crossed my legs, deliberately acting nonchalant.
What the boss said next surprised me: "You really made me angry yesterday. You're just like my dog-like temper back in the day." Only a fool wouldn't realize that he was trying to make amends.
After this incident, the more I thought about it, the more I felt it wasn't worth it. There was nothing wrong at work, but my family was in complete chaos.
Sometimes, when I'm at work, all high and mighty, I often think: Damn it, if these people knew I was treated like a grandson at home, I wonder how they'd feel.
Later, to avoid trouble, I never dared bring my work-related bad mood home.
Actually, as a responsible man, I really shouldn't bring work-related negative emotions home.
It doesn't solve anything, but it distracts my family.
My job is different from my wife's. She can tell me about her trivial matters and ask for my advice, but she doesn't understand my job at all, and telling her would only cause more trouble.
(Twenty-two)
Ever since I accidentally threw my wife off the sofa, she's complained to me many times, pouting: "Old man, always saying you're my dad, what kind of dad hits his daughter?" I can only explain again and again: "Honey, that wasn't hitting, and I didn't do it on purpose." My wife and I have a lot of rational communication, but if only rationality remains between husband and wife, it's not a good thing.
For example, my wife often shows an unreasonable side.
Later, I realized that many of her seemingly unreasonable actions were sometimes just deliberate attempts to be affectionate, but other times stemmed from inexplicable frustration.
This is perfectly normal. For example, as the advertisement says, "there are always those few days every month," and women experience inexplicable irritability during their menstrual cycle.
At these times, reasoning with her is useless; you can only soothe her without principle.
Similarly, work-related frustrations are sometimes inexplicable.
She can only vent to her closest loved ones. In these situations, you can't and don't need to reason with her; you can only comfort her.
Some say that behind every successful man is a great woman.
I think that behind every lovely woman, there should also be a man who knows how to love.
I have a major weakness, though in some ways it might not be considered a weakness: I can't bear to see women cry, whether it's my wife or someone else.
Whenever I see a woman cry, I feel an urge to cry along with her.
I always feel that women are born to be cherished and loved by men.
There are no unbeautiful women in this world; what's lacking is men's ability to appreciate and discover beauty.
When I told my wife about these thoughts, she said unreasonably, "I'm touched by how you treat me, but if you treat a scoundrel like that, I'd admit it's pathetic." When my wife was pregnant, she asked me many times, "Do you hope it's a boy or a girl?" I answered without hesitation, "I hope it's a girl, but a boy is fine too." However, my wife preferred a boy and suspected I wasn't telling the truth.
A few months into the pregnancy, at my wife's insistence, we decided to go to the hospital to check the baby's sex.
Back then, ultrasound examinations to determine a baby's sex weren't as strictly prohibited as they are now. The female doctor who performed the ultrasound was an acquaintance of mine. After the examination, she said to us with a hint of regret, "It looks like a girl, but I'm not sure yet.
"
Hearing this, I jumped up excitedly and said, "Take another look, is it really a girl?
"
The doctor looked at me with a puzzled expression and said, "That's rare. You're hoping for a daughter?" I said, "Of course, but not a girl, but a princess." Only then did the doctor say definitively, "No need for further examination, it's definitely a girl." On the way home from the hospital, my wife said to me, "Now I believe you truly meant it when you said you hoped I would have a girl..." Now, I am fulfilling my promise from back then, both to my wife and daughter.
Perhaps I haven't done enough, but I will not give up trying.
Marriage is not a one-person show. When one party makes a mistake, the other must calmly look for the cause within themselves first.
There is no love without a reason, nor is there hatred without a reason.
Everything happens for a reason.
For example, when a husband discovers his wife has cheated on him, anger is inevitable.
However, amidst the anger, he must not forget to reflect.
If his wife didn't love him, she wouldn't have married him in the first place.
Even if she has temporarily given her love to someone else, if you still love your wife, the most important thing is to figure out how to win her back; don't give up easily.
Regardless of which partner cheats, it's a fundamental error for both spouses. But can we think about it this way: what if we loosen our existing principles? If we loosen the principles, wouldn't the nature of the mistake change from fundamental to general? -- Principles are the least suitable topic for discussion between spouses.
As the song goes, "No rainbow without rain, no one succeeds easily." Spouses are always the closest people in the world. In decades of marriage, each partner inevitably makes mistakes, such as infidelity.
However, if you handle things properly, these painful experiences can be transformed into valuable lessons.
Tolstoy said, "Suffering is the teacher of life."
This teacher may be unconventional and hard for us to accept, but it is precisely because of this that it is all the more worthwhile for us to try. The opening paragraph of
Marguerite
Duras's *The Lover* has always deeply moved me, and I quote it here: "I am now old, and one day, in the lobby of a public place, a man approached me. After introducing himself, he said to me, 'I have always known you. Everyone says you were very beautiful when you were young, but I want to tell you that, in my opinion, you are more beautiful now than when you were young. Your former girlish face is far less appealing to me than your ruined face today.'" When you truly understand the meaning of these words, you will be filled with confidence to walk hand in hand with your beloved wife through life.
In my home, there is a painting I love most: an elderly couple, frail and elderly, supporting each other as they stroll along a tree-lined path strewn with fallen leaves.
I think there is no more beautiful scenery in the world.
Now, let's continue the story related to Little C.
(23)
During his winter break, Xiao C would often send his wife text messages, mostly just general greetings. However, if his wife replied with something even slightly ambiguous, he would immediately become passionate again.
The two would occasionally exchange sweet nothings on the phone, and sometimes his wife would say things I had never heard before.
Once, I asked my wife, "What kind of feelings do you have for Xiao C?" She said, "I can't really explain it. Sometimes, the longing for him is very intense. When I'm with him, I feel like I'm so much younger." I felt a little jealous and said, "You haven't really fallen in love with him, have you?" My wife honestly said, "Yes, I have. But this feeling is completely different from the feeling I have for you. I feel that this is all based on my love for you. Without you, all of this would just be a dream. Without you, I wouldn't have such deep feelings for him, and nothing would have happened."
After saying that, my wife looked at me anxiously, "Honey, you..." "Am I a bad woman?" I said, "Yes, you are definitely a bad woman, at least not a good woman in the traditional sense. However, I never intended for you to be a good woman in the first place." My wife came up and punched me, "It's all your fault for spoiling me, you old geezer..." I hugged my wife and said, "Sweetie, we won't be any bad women. Let others be good women, we'll just be happy bad women." One night, I was lying in bed reading a book, while my wife was watching a movie on the computer in the study. Suddenly, my wife ran into the room, sobbing. Her tear-streaked face startled me, and I quickly asked, "What's wrong?" My wife buried her face in my arms, not saying a word, but crying even more sadly.
I turned her face and asked her, "What's wrong? Tell me, I'm so worried." My wife choked out, "Honey, what if I can't find you in the next life?" I breathed a sigh of relief and said, "This life isn't over yet, why are you worrying about the next life? You're being silly."
"
My wife cried and said, 'No, you'll still be mine in the next life.' I quickly said, 'Okay, okay, no problem, I promise you, I'll still be yours in the next life.' My wife continued, 'Then, when we cross the Bridge of Helplessness, you're not allowed to drink that old woman's Meng Po soup.' I couldn't help but laugh, 'Hey, I'm telling you, are you kidding me? You're over thirty years old, how can you believe in that?' My wife said unconvinced, 'I don't care, you're not allowed to drink Meng Po soup.' I said, 'Don't worry, you know I've never liked soup. When I'm about to die, just let me have a big meal of fish and meat, and bring me two pork knuckles.' My wife said, 'No, I want to die before you, otherwise no one will take care of me.'" I said, "Oh, so you're really going to leave me all alone?" My wife thought for a moment and said, "Then let's die together, hand in hand across the Naihe Bridge. You help me throw that heartless Meng Po off the bridge..." I asked my wife curiously, "What movie did you watch that made you cry so much?" My wife said, "It was 'My Left Eye Sees Ghosts,' starring Lau Ching-wan. It was so touching. The soul of a husband who died in an accident refused to cross the Naihe Bridge until he found a man who could take good care of his wife, and only after his wife had arranged everything did he drink the Meng Po soup." Later, I watched the movie when I had some free time. It was indeed a very touching Chinese version of "Ghost," even better than "Meteor Shower" from back then.
I recommend that couples who haven't seen this movie should find it and watch it if they have the chance.

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