Reasons for "cheating" [Reprinted]

"Infidelity," or extramarital affair, or lover, reflects society's growing understanding and acceptance of it, tinged with a hint of envy. "Lover" is synonymous with "lover," signifying two people deeply in love, but also subtly implying the fading or disappearance of marital affection.
Extramarital affairs are not primarily due to moral failings, as commonly understood, but rather stem from psychological and physiological factors.
Psychological factors: As couples enter married life, many of the advantages they experienced during courtship fade. Both revert to their true selves, living as they were before. The romance and passion of courtship are replaced by reality, and direct physical intimacy replaces emotional connection. Couples engage in repetitive, monotonous routines. Complaints and accusations arise from economic issues, family conflicts, lifestyle differences, and various trivial matters. All is done for the sake of survival, with both partners bearing the responsibility and obligation of maintaining the family.
Humans differ from other animals; humans possess emotions and need to receive them. Caring for others allows us to demonstrate our existence and meaning, and we crave love, understanding, and a sense of fulfillment from others. As communication between spouses diminishes and life becomes mundane, this psychological need intensifies. We yearn for a confidant to share our innermost thoughts, to listen to the whispers of our souls, to understand and resonate with us, and to release suppressed desires through communication, finding balance and solace in the process. This is precisely what is often neglected, misunderstood, and unacceptable in a marriage, even when revealing our needs and desires, leading to misunderstandings and suspicions. Therefore, both partners suppress their own psychological needs and desires, outwardly appearing interdependent and living a normal, peaceful life, while inwardly enduring the torment of desire and yearning for release.
Physiological factors: The physiological substances that attract men and women are hormones and their associated odors (body odor), which can be sensed and elicited by the opposite sex. Hormones play a crucial role in the transition from dating to marriage. This is a physiological phenomenon evolved from the reproductive instinct of the species. During the dating period and early marriage, hormone levels are highest in both men and women, attracting each other, generating pleasure and sexual arousal, ultimately leading to sexual intercourse and procreation. After the birth of a new life, hormone levels gradually decrease, reaching their lowest point after about three years. Consequently, the attraction between the couple diminishes, and sexual attraction gradually disappears. At this point, sex becomes merely a physiological need, lacking passion, pleasure, and orgasm.
Therefore, physiologically speaking, animals are inherently fickle, driven entirely by primal instincts. Sex serves only the purpose of reproduction and group optimization. This makes extramarital affairs easier to understand. Primitive people were driven by instinct to have sexual relations with different members of the opposite sex, but in modern society, people are constrained by laws and social norms, making it impossible to engage in casual sexual activity like primitive people. People outwardly adhere to social norms and worldly values, but their bodies still surge with primal instincts and impulses. Deep within their seemingly peaceful lives, desires constantly stir, making them attracted to other members of the opposite sex and yearning for relationships and sexual intimacy with those they desire. Because these desires are often unfulfilled in real life due to environmental factors, they are often satisfied through fantasy (or dreams) and imagination. Therefore, many people imagine their spouse as their preferred partner during sex to enhance sexual arousal and orgasm—this is emotional infidelity. Occasional emotional infidelity occurs in almost every couple, but afterwards, a sense of emptiness and loss is felt. Some people, seeking psychological and physiological satisfaction in reality, choose extramarital affairs when their living space and environmental conditions permit.
Marriage should be taken seriously, and extramarital affairs should be met with more understanding. We should look for the reasons within ourselves, rather than simply blaming others. If given a suitable environment and opportunity, could you confidently say, "I would never cheat"? No one can definitively say for themselves what they truly feel, for we are human, not gods, and are mortals with emotions
and desires. Even gods are prone to worldly desires, let alone humans. This statement is not intended to support extramarital affairs, incite or sway people's will, nor is it meant to criticize any particular individual. The men involved in affairs are mostly people with certain virtues and achievements, and the women possess beauty and captivating charm. I have neither the intention nor the courage to antagonize them. I simply wish to speak my honest opinion, even if it makes me a laughingstock. Please forgive my bluntness.

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