[A family of three]

As a 30-year-old woman, after ten years of living and working together with my husband, the pressures of life and the daily grind of raising our children have eroded the passion and romance in our relationship. Even small acts of flirtation and playful banter are rare. Our daily conversations revolve around meals and the children; we barely exchange a few words before falling asleep. Even our sex life has become a monotonous routine, a simple rite of passage that has become a lingering effect of years of marriage. My husband calls it "marital burnout" (my understanding of love is mutual fidelity and a promise to stay together until death; when he said this, tears welled up in my eyes. What have I done wrong to make him tired and bored? Am I truly unattractive to him? The reason I cried was because he suggested a threesome and couples' dating activities). I believe all couples feel this way, and I believe many couples are trying to change this.

My husband and I have only been involved with couples' dating and threesome activities for about two months. This is undoubtedly thanks to the existence of such websites. With societal progress, people's minds have been thoroughly liberated, and women's thoughts have broken free from the constraints of years of traditional education, allowing for unprecedented self-expression. I am a conservative woman with old-fashioned ideas. Although my marriage to my husband was fraught with difficulties, it was never lacking in romance and passion. I firmly believe that our love is solely for each other. However, since encountering websites like those for couples seeking partners, our relationship has undergone a subtle change. This change stems from discussions about threesomes and couples seeking partners. Although I am a conservative woman, I am not lacking in love and passion, nor in the pursuit of a beautiful life, nor in the madness I experience with my husband.

My husband dragged me to browse couples seeking partners websites for several days (of course, my curiosity also drove me to understand the mindset and thoughts of these participants; although it's unconventional, I believe that everything that exists has its reason, and I also wanted to explore where true love between couples lies). My husband tirelessly admired the photos of wives taken by netizens, as well as the experiences shared about threesomes and couples seeking partners. Most of the articles showed that both husband and wife were satisfied, gaining unprecedented pleasure and excitement…

My husband would occasionally offer his opinions, though he kept his comments within reasonable bounds because I was present. Even so, it still hurt me. This woman, his very own, was sitting right next to him. I hadn't heard him praise me in a long time, but now I saw him praising the women in online photos—their fair skin, slender waists and legs, their full breasts… The bitterness in my heart outweighed the visual impact of the photos and articles. When we lay in bed, my husband deliberately steered the conversation towards the topic of threesomes and couples having casual sex. While touching my body, he asked if I wanted to be touched by a stranger. I pulled my hand away and told him to stop. Disappointed, he looked at me, tears streaming down his face, speechless. He knew me too well; he knew the more I tried to comfort him, the more he would escalate the situation. At times like these, women need their husbands' comfort and sweet words. After so many years of marriage, my husband no longer had the patience he had before we were married. He sat alone in front of the computer again, admiring those photos and articles.

And I couldn't quell the anger and sadness within me. The true meaning of love was now shrouded in doubt. Love is selfish. My body belongs to him. Why would a few photos and articles make him willing to share my body with other men, claiming it's to love me more, to let me experience the caresses of different men, to enjoy the ultimate sexual pleasure, to let me experience the feelings of having sex with a stranger…? Those few days, my relationship with my husband plummeted to its lowest point in ten years. My emotions fluctuated wildly, and I felt a heavy weight in my heart. From then on, I became extremely sensitive. Whenever he mentioned women, I would argue back. For days, discord arose in our relationship; sometimes we argued over trivial matters, sometimes we would have a cold war.

Lying alone in bed, I would sadly recall our past. Since we got married, I have been wholeheartedly devoted to this family and to him, even though we are not particularly wealthy. But through our joint efforts, we have our own house, a car, and most importantly, we welcomed a healthy and happy baby in 2007. Our baby's healthy growth has brought our family so much joy and happiness. My husband is very good to me and loves me dearly; I feel so happy. Perhaps it's just a matter of time, but our passion and romance have faded, and life has become rather mundane. In the monotony of daily life, the passage of time has erased our mutual affection and enthusiasm.

Since we got a new computer a few months ago, our lives have subtly changed. I know my husband is quite lecherous; his external hard drive is filled with pictures of women and pornographic films. Fortunately, he has the desire but not the courage; all his lecherous behavior is expressed verbally and through his eyes that can't get enough of women's bodies. To appease his lecherous mind and behavior, I'm trying to change myself, trying to perform better during our lovemaking. In my husband's eyes, a woman should be presentable in public, a good cook at home, and a seductive woman in bed. Is it possible for a woman to perfectly blend so many facets of herself? Even if it is, is your current wife still the lover you pursued in your youth? Is she still the girl you dreamed of? Is she still your dream girl? Men should really think about this: how much of your so-called "threesome" or "couples dating" is truly for your wife's sake? Or are you using her body to satisfy your own desires and for thrills? Are you gambling with your future?

My husband and I only started using dating websites a few days ago; before that, we browsed other similar sites more often. Last night, I saw an article online by a woman titled "Some Thoughts on Forums," mainly discussing how "threesomes" and "couples dating" neglect the woman's inner feelings and experiences. The most significant point was the large number of comments. I carefully read everyone's comments, and everyone shared their opinions and thoughts on the whole matter, but they were all overwhelmingly male perspectives. From a fair standpoint, many people spoke the truth regarding this article, showing me a glimpse of the realities of the internet. Men have learned how to tell the truth to strangers, even those they don't know.

Seeing this, as a woman, I felt compelled to speak out and share my views on "threesomes" and "couples dating" as a woman, a mother, and a wife. Although my husband and I have never experienced this before, he has been making this request to me intermittently over the past month. We've also read many similar articles, and my thoughts and actions have changed. I hope to share this change and my inner conflict with everyone, so that men considering threesomes or couples engaging in "exchange" will pay attention to their wives' thoughts and fully consider their opinions, allowing them to be mentally prepared. Everything has its advantages and disadvantages. Who can guarantee that during a threesome or exchange, they won't develop feelings for someone and sow the seeds of romance? Romantic relationships inevitably occur in private interactions and private matters. Reaching this point is something no couple wants to see or accept; it completely deviates from the true meaning of threesomes and exchanges. While this won't happen to every couple, it's a potential problem. Once you cross that line, both of you will bear the responsibility, whether it's painful or joyful.

Lately, I've been browsing many websites related to this, and my husband and I have been discussing threesomes and couples engaging in "exchange" a lot. It has certainly been quite a shock to me. While reading these articles, I experienced an extraordinary excitement, both psychologically and physically. Primal desires and impulses, like seawater, slowly seeped into every part of my body, spreading from my toes to my entire being and reaching the depths of my heart, bringing me physical and mental comfort. Sometimes, it felt like a fire burning within me, a longing for physical contact, a yearning for my husband to truly embrace me, to fill my body, and to soothe my physical and emotional anxieties. Whenever this happened, my husband and I would make love in bed until we were drenched in sweat and exhausted from multiple orgasms. Of course, my husband doesn't have that much ability or stamina, but he knows many techniques and methods to bring me to climax time and time again, allowing me to truly experience the physical pleasure that brings to our minds and bodies. I haven't felt this kind of comfort for several years, and I want to thank this website for providing such positive psychological suggestions, allowing us to indulge in fantasies and wild thoughts during the act of love.

For a week, we enjoyed each other's bodies every day, experiencing each other's passion and intensity—more often in that week than in the previous six months. I never agreed to my husband's threesome request, even after browsing those websites and seeing those dazzling articles and photos. I had no such thoughts whatsoever. I couldn't break through my conservative psychological defenses. My unwavering love was deeply rooted in my heart; I couldn't tolerate my body being shared by another man, much less my husband, let alone seeing him naked and embracing another woman, whispering sweet nothings in each other's arms. Love, in my heart, is utterly selfish, unless he wants to satisfy his own inflated desires and experience the uniqueness of another woman's body. My husband told me, "The reason you want us to start with a threesome instead of just friends is because you're considering my feelings." I didn't understand what he meant by considering my feelings. He said, "If it's just friends, and it's our first time, I'm afraid I'll see him having sex with another woman, and it will make me feel hurt and create a psychological barrier, affecting my focus and thus my interest, impacting the quality of our threesome, and preventing it from achieving the desired effect." My husband then said, "It's different if it's two men and one woman in a threesome. You can fully immerse yourself, even close your eyes and completely enjoy the physical pleasure the two men bring you, feeling them kissing and caressing you at the same time... Just the sexual stimulation and satisfaction will give you wave after wave of excitement and orgasm." This is the high-sounding excuse and reason my husband keeps giving me. I haven't experienced it, I don't have that feeling, so maybe what my husband says makes sense. But as of now, I haven't reached that fashionable and avant-garde level. I don't know if I will agree to my husband's request someday, and I hope he will hold on until that day comes.

People's thoughts also change with time and environment. To satisfy my husband's curiosity, I agreed to let him take pictures of me and post them online. I figured it's not like my face is showing, it's just a few photos. Since we're not professional photography enthusiasts, I didn't deliberately buy any sexy lingerie, just photos of ordinary bras. After my husband edited the photos, we posted them on the website in several installments. Unexpectedly, the number of replies increased daily, filled with praise and support. I suspect the website blocked negative comments, probably because it encourages couples taking selfies, perhaps for the sake of its development. Seeing the praise really excited me; I think this felt like a betrayal of my husband, and this small change surprised me greatly. Posting nude photos online for the first time evoked a mix of anticipation and shame. My husband held me as we read through the comments. Some couples or single men directly sent private messages expressing their desire to get to know each other, proposing video calls, threesomes, or couples dating. I never expected such a strong reaction.
These past few days, my husband hasn't mentioned threesomes or couples dating again. He knows he can't get me to accept these ideas and act on them yet. I think this doesn't mean he's stopped having these thoughts; it's just a delaying tactic. He wants time, online content, and even online friends to change my mind in the future. We are a nation with thousands of years of civilization and traditional education. As women, we also live in this environment, bound by thousands of years of tradition, morality, and etiquette, and have received the profound teachings of our ancestors, such as Confucius, Lao Tzu, and Mencius. The system of monogamy worldwide is facing challenges in relation to human civilization. I am not a scholar, nor do I dare to agree on how long this system of monogamy can last, or whether it is the only future option for human marriage.

The above are merely my humble understanding and opinions as a woman, and do not represent the interests of everyone. I still maintain that "if it exists, it has its reason." Here, I also wish happiness to those who find happiness in three-person relationships or in spousal companionship; perhaps one day in the future…

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[A family of three]

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