[Diary Entry 8]

Ouyang is back. He went to France, and we hadn't exchanged letters or phone calls for over two years. Yesterday, he suddenly called me, saying he wanted to see me.

Ouyang was a colleague at my former company. He's nearly 1.8 meters tall, a handsome and sunny man—the clean-cut type I like. Ouyang and I were best friends at the company; we often went out to meet clients and discuss business together, and eventually we started calling each other brother and sister.

In a quiet teahouse on Qianyuan Avenue, Ouyang and I chatted casually, laughing softly and happily, like old friends. We could even read a hint of unease in each other's seemingly calm faces; we both seemed to be anticipating something deep inside.

Ouyang casually asked if I'd heard of a group of people in this city known as the "Three Highs"—high education, high income, and high standards—who had spontaneously organized an informal club-like organization. Their motto was to advocate for free sex; they satisfied their bodies without affecting their souls. They said we were friends, then had sex, but remained friends. Or, we had sex, exchanged sex, and became friends. I shook my head, feigning surprise, then nodded as if I understood.

Ouyang said he wanted to take me there, adding that he was already a member. I didn't agree, but suggested I bring my husband to Ouyang's house if I wanted to. Ouyang was taken aback at first, then chuckled. I realized my face was burning and picked up my tea.

To be honest, since my encounter with Wei Qing, I suddenly found myself looking forward to this new marriage model. After dinner, I told Nanwei about this idea. Nanwei brushed his teeth for a long time without reacting, then finally spat out the toothpaste, smacked his lips, and said, "We can try."

What a hypocrite. I cursed him inwardly.

With my careful planning, Ouyang brought his wife, Yu Juan, to my house that night. At the dinner table, Nanwei kept glancing at Yu Juan, who sat next to Ouyang. It was my first time meeting Yu Juan; she was a pretty girl, and Nanwei probably liked her.

To be honest, I had a crush on Ouyang two years ago, and if I hadn't been pregnant then, I think I would have already cheated on him. After dinner, the usual drama unfolded. Ouyang, Nanwei, and I watched TV in the living room while Yu Juan took a shower. Half an hour later, Ouyang and I went into the bedroom, while Nanwei and Yu Juan went to the study.

Around dawn, Nanwei and Yu Juan knocked and came in. Ouyang and I were still naked. They wanted to do it in our room and asked Ouyang to film it. I naturally said to Ouyang, "You three come on, I'll film you." Nanwei shook his head and told me to watch them. They were very passionate and engrossed. Later, Ouyang suggested we do it too, saying we should record it together. So, the four of us did our own thing on the bed.

As I write this in my diary, the wind has not yet died down, and a half-hidden moon peeks in through the window, so considerate. In this cool early morning, I feel as if I see a pair of eyes watching me, so clear and bright, and I am deeply moved. I think my writing may disappear for a while, because it's obvious I no longer know what to say. My diary entries are a mess; I am exhausted, both physically and mentally. I hope my child, Nanwei, and my family will still love me, offering me a shoulder to lean on and a chest to hold my tears.

I also hope that every night, or when the world is asleep, I will see a pair of clear eyes that belong only to me, watching me from afar, offering me limited comfort.

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[Diary Entry 8]

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