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My Private Past with My Two Older Sisters (6) 

I wandered aimlessly, dialing Hao Wei and Su Ling's numbers several times, and even sending Su Ling messages on WeChat, all to no avail. I could almost picture Hao Wei and Su Ling making love, and my heart ached.

I kept denying it to myself: no, it can't be! How could Su Ling be interested in Hao Wei? How could she do that with him? But then I thought, they've both gone missing—what else could it be but a hotel room?

I was filled with regret! This beautiful woman who always treated me so well, whom I'd always ignored, had I just handed over to someone else's bed? At the same time, I thought, Su Ling is so shameless, sleeping with someone she just met, someone who's completely unworthy of her.

Then, it suddenly occurred to me: maybe Su Ling's phone was dead and she'd gone home? Like grasping at a straw, clinging to a sliver of hope, I hailed a taxi and rushed to Su Ling's apartment complex.

Arriving at Su Ling's door, I rang the doorbell several times, but there was no response. Frustrated, I pounded on the door and called out, "Sister Ling, Sister Ling, Su Ling, Su Ling..."

Still no answer. Damn it, she must have gone to a hotel with Hao Wei. I slumped against the door, dejected.

Downstairs, I dialed Su Ling's number several more times, but it was still off. Several messages I sent her on WeChat went unanswered. Suddenly, I thought of my sister, Li Meini, who was in Fuzhou, so I called her and asked if Su Ling had contacted her.

Li Meini said no. "Weren't you two having dinner with your friends tonight? What happened? Did you have a fight?"

Her voice sounded strange. Then I heard her hum in agreement, knowing she was having sex with her boyfriend, so I said, "It's okay, you two continue," and hung up.

I decided to wait for her downstairs, even if it meant waiting until dawn, to find out what she'd been up to. With that thought, I sat down on a public bench in the complex.

It was the dead of night, and all was quiet. I desperately hoped Su Ling would emerge from the darkness into the streetlights. Several times, people actually came by, and I thought it was her, but each time I was met with disappointment and dejection.

My thoughts began to drift back to the past. Because of my sister, Li Meini, I've known Su Ling for two years. She's been incredibly kind to me, almost even better than Li Meini.

I remember the day I registered for university. Li Meini couldn't pick me up because of a last-minute issue at her internship company, but Su Ling drove to the train station to pick me up, accompanied me to the university, and helped me settle into my dorm. Other classmates and parents all thought she was my older sister, but that was actually our first meeting.

That evening, she and Li Meini treated me to a welcome dinner, and she paid the bill. From the moment we first met, she has cared for me like a gentle and considerate older sister, and she still does now.

Since I started university in Xiamen, I've actually had two older sisters. The three of us have no other relatives in Xiamen, and in a sense, we've relied on each other all these years. But because of my male vanity, I let her appear before others as my casual sex partner without her knowledge, and now she's nowhere to be found.

I really hate myself. If I could turn back time, I definitely wouldn't have bragged to Hao Wei that day. Instead, I would have honestly told him that I didn't have any casual sex partners, and that I was still a fool who had never slept with a woman.

"Yuhao, Yuhao..." I seemed to hear someone calling my name, and my body was shaken. I groggily opened my eyes, and a woman's face appeared before me.

"Sister..." I murmured without thinking.

The woman chuckled, "Young man, I'm more than enough to be your mother, and you still call me sister?"

Only then did I realize that it was an older woman in her fifties wearing a cleaning lady's uniform. By this time, it was already dawn.

The older woman continued, "Young man, why don't you go home and sleep here? Aren't you afraid of catching a cold? Look, your clothes are all soaked with dew."

I vaguely said "Oh." The older woman said, "Go home quickly, so your parents won't worry," and then went back to sweeping the floor.

Once I came to my senses, I rushed into the building, took the elevator back to Su Ling's door, and rang the doorbell. I rang for a while, but there was still no response. Disappointed, I thought, "She hasn't come home yet? Is she still with Hao Wei?"

Just as I turned to leave, the door opened, and Su Ling stood inside, arms crossed, looking at me coldly. I quickly said, "Sister, you're back?"

Su Ling said coldly, "What are you doing here?"

"I..." I was speechless for a moment.

Su Ling turned and walked into the house, and I followed her in.

"Sister, where did you go last night? I couldn't reach you!" I asked anxiously.

Without turning her head, she said, "It's none of your business, mind your own business!"

"You know what? I couldn't reach you all night, I was so worried about you."

I paused, then asked, "Were you... with Hao Wei last night? What did you two do?"

Su Ling turned around and stared at me. "What you did with that Yanzi, I did with Hao Wei."

"You actually slept with him?" I blurted out, feeling like I could kill Hao Wei at that moment.

She sneered, "Isn't this what you wanted? Swapping fuck buddies, having fun with each other, were you happy last night?"

"But how could you sleep with someone like Hao Wei?" I yelled.

"Why not?" She stared at me. "Is it okay with you? Let me tell you, Hao Wei is tall, handsome, witty, and more mature than you. You have no idea how good he is to me in bed!"

"Shut up!" I lost my temper and slapped her, but not very hard.

Even so, Su Ling was still shocked and furious. She glared at me resentfully and shouted, "Fine! Shen Yuhao, you dare hit me? Have you forgotten how I treated you before?"

She cried and lunged at me, her small fists raining down on my face and body. I quickly parried, but dared not retaliate at all; that last blow had already filled me with regret.

I let her hit me for a while, then hugged her tightly, and she buried her face in my chest, sobbing. I gently stroked the back of her head, and after a long while, I said, "I didn't do anything last night. I waited for you downstairs at your house until now."

I could clearly feel her pause for a moment, and her sobs gradually subsided. I helped her sit on the sofa and told her what had happened from last night to this morning, only concealing the fact that Yanzi had performed oral sex on me. Only then did I suddenly remember that I had given my virginity, which I had lost in my twenty-one years, to Yanzi's mouth.

"If you don't believe me, check your phone yourself. See how many missed calls and WeChat messages you have, and when they all happened?"

While Su Ling checked her phone, I explained to her that I never intended for her to sleep with Hao Wei; I just wanted her to pretend to be my casual sex partner to get away with it. I never expected things to turn out this way.

Su Ling gently stroked my cheek with affection: "Are you stupid? You just lay on that chair downstairs all night? Were you cold?"

I nodded. "Cold! My clothes are all soaked."

She burst into tears again, hugged me, and I put my arm around her waist, nestled in her arms.

After a long while, we separated, and I asked, "Can you tell me what happened last night?"

Su Ling then told me about her experience last night. While Yanzi and I were in that empty private room, Hao Wei told Su Ling that he and Hao Wei had gone to a hotel, and asked if we should go to a hotel too.

Su Ling looked at Hao Wei in disbelief and said, "You're my brother's friend, and I treat you like a brother too. How could you say something like that to me?"

Hao Wei exclaimed in surprise, "Aren't you Shen Yuhao's casual sex partner? How did you become his sister?" Su Ling sneered and stormed off. Actually, she'd had a hunch about what was going on since dinner, but she'd pretended not to know, waiting for Hao Wei to reveal his true colors.

Su Ling didn't want to think of me as so despicable as to have her sister impersonate a casual sex partner and engage in this swapping arrangement with her cronies. In a fit of anger, she went to her bar, locked herself in her office, and drank glass after glass, turning off her phone so I couldn't find her.

She thought about many things from the past, all the good she'd done to me. She hadn't expected me to do something so lewd to her, and the more she thought about it, the more heartbroken she became. She didn't leave the bar until almost dawn and took a taxi home. When she got downstairs, she saw someone lying on a public bench, but she didn't expect it to be me.

After the siblings opened up to each other, they finally felt relieved. Su Ling asked if I was hungry. She offered to make me breakfast.

I said, "Isn't there a really good satay noodle place outside your neighborhood? Let's go eat there!"

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