Sexual disharmony

Let me start from the beginning. We met through a matchmaker, and got engaged less than 10 days after we met. I didn't want to get engaged so early. I only went home every six months while I was in the army, and besides, I was getting older and just wanted to find a decent girl to marry. After the engagement, I wanted her to stay at my house for one night. *Slap*... You know what I mean. But she didn't agree, and I didn't force it. Forcing things is pointless. I figured she was probably still a virgin. When I went back to my unit, I called her (I called her every day). At first, she would talk to me for about 10 minutes, but after a month, it was only 3 minutes. As time went on, she started calling to ask me for a car and an apartment. I had to buy her an apartment, no matter what. As for the car, I'd buy it for her after I was discharged. Besides, it was during our dating period, and everyone wanted to test each other. Every time she talked about a car, I'd say I didn't have the money and she'd hang up. I won't go into details about her contacting the matchmaker to ask what was going on. I even told my mom I wanted to call off the engagement, but she acted as a peacemaker and I agreed.

To make a long story short, I came home from the army and was planning to marry her. Our sex life was alright, I guess. At first, I asked her if she was still a virgin, and she said yes, which I believed. But she wasn't. Later, I searched online and found out she wasn't a virgin, but I didn't care. Everyone's been wild before. After marriage, we were practically...making babies every day. After about a month of trying, I went back to my unit. Less than ten days later, she took a pregnancy test and found out she was pregnant. Since she came to visit me at the unit, I didn't touch her much for the sake of the baby. After the baby was born, I took care of her during her postpartum period and went back to my unit. Then I was discharged. Being discharged

is great—a wife, a baby, and a warm bed. But we only had sex once or twice a month. For example, we didn't even finish a box of condoms in a year. I wanted to have sex with her, but she would give all sorts of reasons not to let me touch her. Isn't it normal for me to touch her breasts at night? Or we'd cuddle while sleeping, and if I touched her, she'd scratch my hand, often leaving it raw and bleeding. It hurt! I could tolerate it for a day or two, but it happened so often, guys, don't you have any ideas? Is there something wrong with her or something...? I couldn't take it anymore, so I hit her, and we started fighting. She said I was disturbing her sleep. She scratched my leg, leaving a deep scar. Four shallow ones healed, but the deep one left a scar.

From then on, I was so angry I refused to sleep in the same bed with her anymore. I went to sleep in the side bedroom. It's been about a year and a half now. She calls me over when she wants to.

Now she often tells me that other wives don't have to cook, that the men do all the cooking. I just say, how much do you earn compared to other wives? I asked her if she'd ever heard the song "We Are Not the Same." Now we're constantly picking fights over trivial things, arguing every day. I told her she could leave if she didn't want to, but

she wouldn't budge, saying she'd wait until I died. These past few days, my mom came over and asked my son if his dad slept in this bed. My son said my mom locked the door so his dad couldn't come in. My mom got angry. My bedroom doesn't have air conditioning, just a small fan. I think any parent would be furious if they heard that.

Since we got married, I've never heard her say she loves me, and she's never cared about me. I feel very lonely and lost. I know love is mutual, but she's never given me love. How can I repay her with my love? She's called me "husband" less than five times. She calls me a scumbag every day, scolding me for playing on my phone and not being ambitious. I don't want to play on my phone either, and I know it's wrong, but I can't help it. We have no feelings, no love, not even the most basic marital intimacy.

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Sexual disharmony

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