Incomprehensible

My wife's infidelity was completely unexpected. Our family's financial situation is decent, and my sexual performance is so-so, lasting about 20-30 minutes each time. We had never had sex before we got together. When she bled, I finished several times without even going inside. She's always been very dutiful since we got married. She doesn't like makeup or dressing up; besides taking care of the children, she's busy at the shop. My family sells building materials, and I also do some small construction projects. I never thought this kind of thing would happen to me, since I've devoted myself entirely to this family and never had any romantic thoughts. Even when my sister-in-law walked around in front of the TV in a very short nightgown, I never had any objections. She likes to watch porn, but it's just watching; I've never thought about it in real life. So I assumed she would treat me the way I treated her. I never imagined she would cheat on me, especially with a 30-something-year-old bachelor who wasn't after my looks or money. I was stunned when I found out. Someone richer than me would be more comfortable, someone younger and more handsome would be more comfortable, but I truly can't understand this. Here's what happened: December is the peak season for collecting debts, and I was no exception. I was driving around every day. In our line of work, most people take the goods first and pay later. This year, there were a lot of debts, and we were still collecting them even into the early days of the Lunar New Year. I was like a servant, constantly smiling and treating her to meals. I even had a car accident during this time, which made me incredibly upset. For about a month, when I finally felt a bit better, I'd come home to find her already asleep with the kids. If I got home early, she'd call and text incessantly. We spent New Year's Eve like this every day. Seeing her like this every day made me unhappy. She said I didn't care about the family and that she was never around. Honestly, I felt wronged. I didn't want this to happen. I wanted to spend all my time with my wife and kids. Sometimes, when I was in the mood for something, a few harsh words from her would completely ruin it. Some people say it's a lack of communication, but I don't have that much time. I leave early in the morning and don't get home until 11 or 12 at night. Sometimes I was truly exhausted, both physically and mentally. I've picked up clients' children and taken relatives to meet clients—I didn't want to tell her about these things. I thought it was enough for me to know, but all of this made her think I didn't love her. The guy was in his late thirties, almost forty. He often bought things from my store, so I added her on WeChat for easier money transfers. I'd often message her, chatting about random things. It's normal in business; sometimes you have to hear things most people don't want to hear, don't want to hear, or can't bear to hear. Anyway, whatever his boss told him to buy, he bought from my store. Sometimes I'd go too far and just ignore him. Since I hadn't spent much time with her lately, she said she wanted revenge, so I kept chatting with her. I remember reading a guy's blog post that was pretty accurate; his exact words were something like, "If you go off track with your conversation, you're really off track." As we chatted, I actually started to feel like doing it. That day, I helped a client unload a truckload of employee benefits—I did it all by myself. When I got back that night, she contacted me. I was so tired I didn't want to work anymore, so I said, "Let's do it tomorrow." The next day, things went wrong. That night, I figured I was in a good mood today since I hadn't done it the night before. When I touched her, she was wet inside. I thought she was just pent up and didn't think much of it, so I went ahead and did it. I was thinking I had a lot to do the next day, so I finished quickly without changing positions, in just over ten minutes. It wasn't until the first few days, when I noticed it was constantly wet and sticky inside, that I realized something was wrong. A friend helped me analyze it and confirmed it was semen, confirming the problem. Now she keeps begging me not to divorce her, saying she'll never do it again. Honestly, she's only in her twenties, with mortgages on her house and car. She doesn't have that much energy; it's the time to build her life. Forgiving her might cause trouble at home, but if I don't forgive her, we have a child. What should I do?

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