Let me tell you my story with my wife (repost)

(I)
I've read articles on some traditional websites describing men's reactions to their wives' infidelity, and they invariably
react with fury. But that's not what I want to talk about today. Instead, I want to discuss a completely opposite attitude: on some adult websites, there are many articles by men describing their wives' extramarital affairs, often portrayed in a beautiful and romantic way, as if it were something wonderful.
I can't completely deny the authenticity of these articles, but there's too much fiction involved. Some of these articles are simply fabrications by unmarried men. Because one thing I'm certain of: no man feels excited upon first hearing the news of his wife's infidelity.
Any man, even if he has a mistress or a group of lovers, will only feel anger and humiliation if he learns of it without sufficient psychological preparation.
Whether he accepts or even supports his wife's infidelity later is a matter for the future, and the transition from initial anger to acceptance usually involves a long period of psychological torment.
I am a man married for over ten years. Like many men, I love my wife very much, but at the same time, I can't control the colorful temptations outside and often have affairs—to clarify, I never visit prostitutes. It's not that I look down on prostitutes, but I just feel they are too dirty.
Due to my work, I often come into contact with some very outstanding women. All men have this one flaw: even if you let him marry a beauty like Diao Chan, he'll eventually get tired of her. Therefore, men neglect their wives and set their sights on women other than their wives,
creating many lonely women in the world. Actually, it's an interesting vicious cycle: men neglect their wives and focus their attention on other men's wives. The result? Their own wives also become targets for other men's advances. To put it nicely, it's called karma; to put it bluntly, it's retribution.
At this point, I need to clarify that what I'm describing is not a romantic affair.
I'm simply trying to honestly share some of my experiences and emotional journey as a man married for nearly twelve years, hoping to offer some inspiration, reflection, or lessons to others who, like me, have been confined to the "walled city" of marriage. Family is always a man's final haven, and his wife is always the closest woman to him and should be the most cherished.
Arguments aren't scary, estrangement isn't scary, and infidelity isn't scary either, as long as you have the courage to face them head-on. It's okay to experience setbacks; experiences are actually a form of wealth. Some setbacks or hardships might even benefit you for life. As men, we have an unshirkable responsibility to cherish the woman who accompanies us through life.

(II)
Not long after graduating from university, I met my wife. She worked at a bank, just an ordinary teller at the time, and graduated from a vocational school affiliated with a bank. At that time, she already had a boyfriend she had been dating for a year. He was her senior from the previous year, but because he was ambitious, he went back to school after working for a few years and then took the entrance exam for a full-time vocational college. As a result, I took advantage of the situation and stole her away.
My wife was a year younger than me, with a slender and tall figure, sexy and charming, with bright, innocent eyes. During that time, I felt like I was living in a honey pot, and I could even wake up smiling in my dreams. During our courtship, I tried to take advantage of her many times, but my wife firmly refused. Young people in their twenties today might not understand this, but more than ten years ago, sex was still a rather serious topic.
Therefore, I didn't truly possess her until our wedding night. Gazing at the radiant, peach-blossom-like virgin blood on the white sheets, my wife, in my eyes, surpassed even a pure angel. Actually, I've never had a deep obsession with virginity. Moreover, premarital sex wasn't very common in those days, so everything seemed perfectly natural to me.
Like all newlyweds, we didn't miss any opportunity to be intimate. Not only did we make love two or three times a night, but sometimes even during the day at home, a single glance could ignite a spark, and we'd immediately undress and roll around naked together.
During that period, I was severely exhausted, yet still full of energy. The most outrageous time was when, after our passion, I fell asleep without immediately getting off her. She didn't want to move me, and I ended up sleeping on top of her for over five hours—even now, recalling that, I feel like I owe my wife a lifetime of unpayable devotion.
A year later, we had a child, a lovely daughter. After having a child, most of my energy shifted to her. The passion between my husband and I gradually faded.
During this time, I had an affair with my college classmate. This story isn't unusual; the probability of infidelity between classmates is the highest.
I went to her city on a business trip, and we drank a lot together. Then she came to my hotel with me, and we chatted for a while, but there wasn't much substance to it—just idle talk about college life. Suddenly, there was an awkward silence, and we just stared at each other.
I don't know who made the first move, but we suddenly embraced, kissed passionately, caressed each other, and finally rolled onto the bed. The moment I entered her, my wife's lovely face flashed through my mind.
This thought instantly killed my interest, and I went limp after only a few thrusts. My mind went blank. My classmate, unaware of the reason, kindly comforted me, saying that I probably hadn't rested well while traveling.
I lay on the bed, numbly holding her, feeling like a beast, even imagining myself kneeling before my wife begging for her forgiveness.
Later, my female classmate knelt between my legs and gently caressed me with her mouth. My wife has never liked giving me oral sex, and the few times she has, it has been quite reluctant.
Therefore, the stimulation from my female classmate unleashed my primal instincts, and I rolled over and pinned her beneath me, this time having a thoroughly enjoyable time. Looking at my female classmate's face, contorted with excitement beneath me, I experienced a completely new kind of pleasure.
After this incident, I felt ashamed for a while. Out of a sense of atonement, I often took the initiative to do housework and was extra considerate to my wife for a period of time.
However, old habits die hard, and before long, I started having inappropriate thoughts again. In the following years, I had several private affairs with other women, and my neglect of my wife became increasingly severe.
Men who have been married for a long time know that a wife's intuition about her husband is often very accurate. It's just that men generally overestimate their intelligence, always thinking that their lies are flawless. In fact, a wife doesn't need evidence to judge her husband's behavior, because they are born with the most lethal weapon: intuition.
A few years later, my career was going well, and I was promoted to head of an important department. I also had a steady mistress, a charming and alluring woman. I was indulging in the pleasures of having both a wife and a mistress. My neglect of my wife worsened.
By this time, we had sent our child to my parents' house, partly to keep them company and partly to allow us to relive our romance. However, although the child was gone, the passion between us seemed to have vanished forever. And frankly, my main focus was on my mistress.
My wife was essentially dispensable to me, and we made love less and less. My wife was a reserved woman; when she had desire, she only hinted at it with body language. But I increasingly ignored her hints. Subconsciously, I thought that my wife was mine anyway, so I didn't need to care so much; it was my mistress who needed to be pampered.
Until that incident happened…

(III)
About eight years ago, on a Sunday, I habitually woke up early. My wife was still in bed, sleeping in. After I finished washing up, I went back to the bedroom and glanced at my wife. She was still asleep there.
I said, "I'll go buy breakfast."
Then I walked across the living room to the door, put on my shoes, and opened the door.
Just then, I suddenly needed to use the bathroom, so I closed the door behind me. Our bathroom is right next to the bedroom door, so I turned around and went in.
Sitting on the toilet, I picked up a magazine and started reading. One article caught my eye, and I calmly continued reading.
Just then, I heard my wife walking around in the living room in slippers. I assumed she was going to the bathroom, so I mischievously stayed seated.
To my surprise, the sound of a phone dialing came from the living room, on speakerphone. Our phone is in the corner of the living room, not far from the bathroom, so I heard it very clearly.
The call connected, and a man answered. What my wife said next struck me like a thunderbolt: "Honey, are you up?"
The man replied, "I've been up for ages, honey. Why are you calling me from the home phone? Isn't your husband home?"
My wife said, "He went out to buy breakfast."
The man asked, "What time will you be here?"
My wife said, "I don't know, I'm waiting for him to go out and play mahjong."
(On weekends, I rarely spend time with my wife; I'm usually out with friends.)
The man said, "No rush, I'll wait for you. What do you want to eat? I'll go buy it."
His wife replied in an unusually gentle voice, "No need, darling, I'll buy it and bring it over. It's on my way. That's all for now. I have to go now; my husband might be back soon."
—The call ended.
At that moment, I was stunned in the bathroom, my vision blurred, and I was trembling with rage. Instinct told me to rush out immediately, but reason urged me to remain calm.
A strange voice kept asking in my ear: How could this happen? How could this happen…
Later, every time I recalled that scene, I felt terrified: if my wife had gone into the bathroom after hanging up, the situation would have been uncontrollable. Moreover, my wife would have suspected me of being a shameless eavesdropper and spy. For my wife, being exposed would have led to a psychological breakdown.
Fortunately, after hanging up that day, my wife went back to bed.
I, however, was stuck in the bathroom, unable to go in or out.
Reason kept reminding me to control myself, to absolutely control myself.
I desperately needed to find a place to sort out my thoughts, because I had to face reality.
So I left the bathroom as quietly as possible, deliberately opening and closing the bedroom door loudly, making it seem like I had just come back from outside.
Then, in a very calm voice, I called out to the bedroom, "Honey, breakfast is sold out. I couldn't buy any. You can cook some porridge yourself later. I have something to do and I'll be back in a bit." My wife, pretending to have
just woken up, said from the bedroom, "So annoying! It's the weekend, can't I even sleep in?"
I didn't say anything, turned around, and walked out of the house.
The neighborhood was very quiet on the weekend, with a few elderly people practicing Tai Chi in the distance. The weather was clear, but I felt that the sky was black.

(IV)
Walking alone in the neighborhood, I felt completely empty, as if I were walking on cotton. Occasionally, I would run into acquaintances who greeted me, and I would just nod blankly. I sat down alone on a stone bench in the corner of the neighborhood. The stone bench was icy cold on a summer morning, but I couldn't feel it anymore. At this moment, only one question kept popping into my head: What should I do?
Perhaps it was related to the coldness of the stone bench, but soon I felt my whole body trembling. But my mind gradually calmed down, and I began to ponder the following questions: First, what should I do? Should I expose him? Exposing him would be easy; even if my wife denied it, a simple check of the phone records at the telecommunications bureau would reveal who the man was. But what good would that do? The only result would be a complete falling out, shattering any remaining affection. Once deeply loved lovers would become strangers, even enemies.
Second, should I pretend I know nothing and slowly devise a plan? But the thought of my beloved wife naked and entangled with another man gave me a headache. At this point, I even had murderous urges.
After the stone bench was littered with my cigarette butts, I began to fully sober up.
I started to recall the women I had been involved with over the years. Most of them had lovely children, warm homes, and husbands who deeply loved them.
So, when I was making love with them, why did I never think about their husbands' feelings? The ancients said, "Do not do to others what you would not have them do to you." I asked myself, every one of those women was a good woman; they were all qualified mothers and virtuous wives.
On another level, when I slept with them, although I had no intention of desecrating them, I still loved my own wife. Similarly, when they slept with me, they still loved their own husbands. Even if the passion between husband and wife had faded, the blood ties between them and their husbands were irreplaceable by anyone else.
So, for me, could any other woman in this world replace my wife? The answer is no. Although my wife had definitely cheated on me, that fact was beyond doubt, compared to my absurdity, what did her behavior amount to? Therefore
, the most important thing I should do, and the only thing I could do, was to make amends, not to cause further damage. Otherwise, the harm would be permanent.
Thinking of the date my wife had mentioned on the phone earlier, I felt a wave of dizziness. So I quickly made two decisions: first, pretend I knew nothing; second, I had to stop this date; I couldn't let her go any further.
With that in mind, I ran to the flower shop across the street and bought my wife a bouquet of pink roses.
This was only the second time I'd bought flowers for my wife. The first time was before we got married, when I was courting her. Years have passed in the blink of an eye; it all feels like a lifetime ago.
Returning home with the flowers, my wife was already dressed and cooking in the kitchen
. Looking at the flowers in my hand, she was surprised and asked, "Didn't you deliver them? Isn't your lover home?"—I don't even remember when it started, but we often spoke to each other in this sarcastic tone.
A wave of sadness washed over me. I went to my wife, hugged her tightly, and buried my face in her chest.
My wife noticed my unusual behavior and asked, "What's wrong?"
By then, tears were streaming down my face. I tried to hide it by saying, "Nothing, I just saw an elderly couple walking together, supporting each other, and it suddenly made me think about how difficult life really is..."
My wife had never seen me cry like this before. A little bewildered, she patted my shoulder and said, "Don't think about it. Go watch some TV, breakfast will be ready soon."
At breakfast, I had no appetite at all, just staring blankly at my wife.
My wife was once again bewildered by my antics, asking, "What's wrong with you? You went out for a walk this morning and came back looking like a delicate flower."
I didn't answer, just reached out and gently stroked her face.
After breakfast, I casually sat on the sofa watching TV, observing what my wife would do next.
A little while later, she asked, "Aren't you going out today?"
I said, "Nowhere, I'm staying home with my wife."
Then, my heart pounding, I asked back, "Is something wrong?"
My wife hesitated for a moment, then said, "Something came up at work… but it's not urgent, we can take care of it on Monday."
I said, "Then stay home, or I'll go shopping with you..."
Around noon, I made an excuse to go out to buy cigarettes. I thought my wife might need a chance and time to make a phone call...

(V)
That weekend, my wife didn't go to her date. In the afternoon, I took her to KFC. Before this, I always hated this kind of junk food, but to make her happy, I pretended to like it and went with her.
Afterwards, I couldn't help but secretly check the phone bill. I didn't find any clues in the phone bill, but that didn't mean anything—because back then, mobile phones were rare, and even a regular pager with Chinese display cost more than two thousand yuan. I couldn't check my wife's pager.
All I could do was go home on time every day, spend as much time as possible with my wife, and give her more care and love. While I was doing these things, I was enduring indescribable torment. Scenes of her having sex with another man kept flashing through my mind, and I often dreamed about them, as if they were happening right in front of me.
I made excuses to go to her office several times (by then, she had been promoted to a minor department head), but there were five people in her office, and I couldn't confirm if that man was one of them.
Actually, who he was wasn't important; it was just that the curiosity, anger, and humiliation kept surging within me, making it impossible for me to extricate myself.
All I could do was fulfill my responsibilities, or rather, make up for what I hadn't done well before. For my wife, this was a form of compensation, but for me, it was a deserved punishment.
The initiative had been handed over to my wife. During that time, I basically cut off contact with my lover. When facing him, I felt no interest whatsoever, and there was a vague resentment, as if she was the cause of it all.
During that period, whenever I had sex with my wife, I often couldn't control the inexplicable urge, as if I were competing with someone else.
At the time, I hadn't read any rational articles about dating or group sex, and even if I had, I couldn't accept those seemingly unconventional methods.
I only occasionally searched online for some psychological counseling articles about my wife's infidelity. Later, I found that reading many of the so-called experts' pretentious writings only made me more depressed; it was better not to read them at
all. Some say time is the best healer, and that's very true. After my persistent efforts, my wife finally started communicating with me more often, and we rediscovered the feeling we had back then.
We both enjoy drinking beer. Once, we drank ten bottles of beer at home and still weren't satisfied, so we went out for barbecue late at night, drinking and chatting about everything under the sun, including our children and our future.
However, I always adhered to one principle: I never mentioned her infidelity. Several times, she clearly intended to confess, but I pretended not to care and changed the subject. Looking back now, I realize it was because I was cowardly; I couldn't resolve this inner conflict myself. So I chose to avoid the topic, trying to forget it and leave the problem to time. Seeking common ground while respecting differences is definitely a good approach.
After weathering this storm, my relationship with my wife underwent a qualitative change: beyond that of husband and wife, we were often closer than confidants. Harmony increased, arguments decreased, and we grew closer.
Many times, I even felt a deep, heartfelt love for her, like that for my own daughter.
After some time, when I felt the time was right, I confessed to her about my first affair with a female classmate, and other experiences (God forgive my reservations, because I had gone too far and feared she wouldn't be able to accept it. Also, I felt that if I revealed all these wounds to her without reservation, given that I had already realized my mistakes, she might not be able to handle the heavy psychological impact. In a way, this might be a kind of white lie, because it was based on the premise that I truly realized my errors). Actually, she already knew many of my things before I confessed, but she didn't expose me for the sake of our family and children.
She also voluntarily told me about her only extramarital affair. She spoke calmly, and I listened calmly as well: it turned out the man was a major client of their bank, a very considerate man with a happy family. During the time I neglected my wife, he approached her.
According to my wife, during her relationship with that man, she was constantly tormented by emotions and conscience. She initially accepted him largely out of revenge against me, and only secondarily out of emotional and physical needs. But after the affair, she discovered things were far more complex.
The reason for the affair was her husband's betrayal, and afterwards, she felt even more guilty towards herself—a painful self-inflicted wound. Since that unfortunate Sunday, my wife was overjoyed to accept my change, and things underwent a qualitative shift: since that Sunday, my wife sensed I might know something, but I never mentioned these sensitive matters, for which she was very grateful.
Furthermore, I continuously showed my care and consideration for my wife through my actions, and she voluntarily ended her ambiguous relationship with that man, transforming them from lovers into normal, ordinary friends. Later, I became friends with that man, but that's another story.
Looking back now, through the process of saving my marriage and love, I also saved her and me.

(VI)
As time passed, our lives seemed to get back on track. For the next two or three years, I didn't touch any woman other than my wife. The lessons from the past were too profound.
However, there was a very troublesome problem: that scene from back then hadn't faded with time; instead, it became clearer and clearer. This mental block had been bothering me. Many couples like to say inappropriate things during sex, which is a normal behavior and can increase excitement and pleasure.
Later, I often asked my wife when she was close to orgasm, "Is it as comfortable with your lover as it is with me?"
At first, my wife, still in a daze, remained wary and said, "No, he's not as good as you."
While moving vigorously, I gritted my teeth and said, "Tomorrow I'll find a hundred men to tie you up and play with you!"
My wife was completely out of it and kept cheering. In the end, we both reached orgasm at the same time.
Later, I frequently changed my tactics. For example, when my wife was excited, I would mention her favorite male celebrity: "Honey, you're having sex with Chow Yun-fat right now."
She would nod excitedly, and then I would ask, "Would you like to do it with other men?"
She would obediently answer, "Yes, but my husband is the best..."
So, sometimes I would pretend to be her boss, sometimes her classmate, and sometimes even a stranger.
Every time I did this, the quality of our sex life was surprisingly good. But when the passion faded, if I asked her, "What did you just say?"
she would definitely deny it outright: "I didn't say anything, you're such a pervert."
Sometimes I would think to myself that I might actually be a bit of a pervert. But if this perversion could bring harmonious marital happiness, then it couldn't be considered perverted.
Although I knew this result was good, at the time I couldn't explain why it was good, or what made it good. And, deep down, I still had an unresolved knot in my heart—I still felt that I was a bit of a pervert.
To clarify: I had told my wife all these doubts without reservation, without any concealment.
My wife, however, was very dismissive of this, always saying, "I think you're just bored and your mind is full of nonsense. You're torturing yourself."
It wasn't until a few years ago that I started reading articles about multiple partners or partner swapping, and combined with my own experiences, I began to rationally analyze myself. Ultimately, it was the respected Li Yinhe who helped me resolve my inner conflict.
After reading extensively on her sociology and ethics, my inner conflict was completely resolved. At the very least, I realized: I am a normal person.
I don't know if this is human nature, or perhaps I am someone with this nature and potential.

(VII)
Before continuing, I'd like to briefly mention Li Yinhe.
I don't know how many people have actually read Ms. Li Yinhe's writings. Currently, there's a constant stream of criticism against her online. I've read many articles criticizing her, most of which focus on her role in disrupting marriage or family stability.
Everyone portrays themselves as pure and noble Confucian gentlemen, praising the beauty of marriage while simultaneously and morally negating Li Yinhe and her professional viewpoints.
Many people believe that both men and women should be absolutely faithful to their spouses and remain faithful to one person until death.
—I hereby declare that I fully agree with this view.
However, reality often differs from people's ideals.
Humans are complex, and this complexity stems from the complexity of human nature. Human nature is not entirely good; it also contains evil, and many things exist that are ambiguous, existing in a gray area between good and evil.
For example, I don't consider myself a bad person, but is it really so easy to distinguish between good and bad people?
When I betrayed my wife, to her, I was an absolute villain. But faced with the reality that I had become a villain, did my wife kill me? Or resolutely abandon the marriage?
Was it a rational attempt to salvage the relationship, or a complete rejection?
I think every wise person would not choose to throw the baby out with the bathwater. I have always been very confused by a crucial point held by those who vehemently criticize Li Yinhe: they believe that having extramarital affairs is normal, as long as one is cautious and doesn't let their spouse discover it—this is a kind of benevolent deception.
I think how terrible the world would be if this idea were accepted by most people: when faced with a wife's or husband's solemn vows, you would have to wonder: is his or her declaration also a white lie? As a husband, you can put yourself in her shoes: if your wife had already cheated on you, but she hid it well, so you didn't know, would you consider this behavior normal or not?
As a husband or wife, when faced with "open communication" and a flawless so-called "white lie
," which would you choose? If it were me, I would choose open communication. Compared to unwavering fidelity, betrayal is wrong, but a greater mistake than betrayal is deception. The most heartbreaking thing about a wife's or husband's betrayal is not the physical separation, but the emotional estrangement. —The blow is devastating when you suddenly discover that the person you trusted most has been deceiving you all along.
Many of Li Yinhe's articles can help us recognize this more clearly. Therefore, those who vehemently criticize Li Yinhe are not so much rejecting her as they are refusing to wake up, refusing to escape the quagmire of self-deception. Every married person can truly understand this: marriage is a partnership that requires the joint effort of both partners. Many things cannot be changed simply by wishful thinking. For example, my wife was always a devoted wife and mother, virtuous and kind, yet I still had an affair.
Many aspects of human nature are unavoidable. If you don't want to deceive yourself, you must face them bravely.

(VIII)
My wife and I finally got back on track. It seemed that only then did we truly begin to love each other.
Especially the emotional intimacy, which is indescribable.
Gradually, my wife developed a habit: no matter what happened at work or outside, she would tell me everything, asking for my advice on her troubles and sharing her joys. Each time, I listened attentively.
Many times, my wife lay in my arms and said emotionally, "Honey, even if we're not husband and wife in the future, I believe we'll still be best friends."
— For a man, this simple sentence is more precious than ten thousand "I love you"s.
Once, a female classmate I had a passionate encounter with came to our city for a conference. Since that time, we hadn't been very close; sometimes we'd call to say hello, occasionally exchanging sweet nothings, but it was more like playful banter.
My wife had seen her picture in my graduation yearbook and heard my stories about her, so she wasn't entirely unfamiliar with her. I told my wife about her coming to the conference.
She jokingly said, "Want to rekindle the old flame? Want me to make room for you?"
I readily agreed, saying, "No need, you don't take up much space. Our bed is big enough for three people."
Hearing this, my wife called me a pervert and then rushed at me, pinching me.
Originally, I only planned to treat my classmate to a meal and show her around the city; I hadn't intended to give her any special hospitality, as the conference organizers had already arranged her accommodations. But my wife insisted that since her classmate was visiting, she should at least be invited to our home.
I knew perfectly well what my wife's reaction meant: she was taking the initiative, using offense as defense.
The day my female classmate arrived, my wife took a day off to accompany me to the airport.
Her explanation was, "This shows how much we value her."
My classmate was quite surprised by my wife's appearance, as I hadn't told her beforehand. But no worries, women are natural diplomats, masters of appearances. Within five minutes of meeting, the two women, each with their own hidden agendas, acted like sisters separated for decades.
While driving, I glanced at their whispered conversation in the rearview mirror and couldn't help but chuckle. Then, both women attacked me, and I thought, "You two are putting on such a convincing show!"
After dropping my classmate off at her place and sitting for a while, the three of us returned home. My wife ran around getting drinks and peeling apples.
She whispered to me, "She's uglier than in the photos."
Haha, that's women for you.
After a while, my wife said, "You two chat for a bit, I'm going out to buy groceries. Let's not go out tonight, let's eat at home."
Ignoring my classmate's protests, she left.
I knew perfectly well that my wife wanted some time alone with me. This cunning woman had the situation firmly under control, yet she maintained a flawless facade. She wanted to be involved, but didn't want me to notice her jealousy.
After my wife left, my classmate and I remained seated, completely oblivious to the impropriety that had been ignited by her enthusiastic antics.
My classmate said, "Your wife is so kind. I can tell you two are very happy..."
I went over, gave her a light hug, and asked, "If I told him about us, what do you think she would do?"
My classmate was startled and said, "She'd definitely kill me."
I laughed and said, "You're shameless, sleeping with someone else's husband while acting so naturally intimate with him."
My classmate kicked me, "You're the one who seduced me."
Half an hour later, my wife came back from grocery shopping. The two women were busy in the kitchen, and I couldn't help, so I lay on the bed watching TV. In the middle of the day,
my wife sneaked over and asked me, "When I wasn't home, you two didn't do anything bad, did you?"
I grabbed my wife's hand and stuffed it into my pants while saying, "Come on, check for yourself."
My wife laughed and broke free from me, returning to the kitchen.

(IX)
Dinner was sumptuous, and the atmosphere at the table was harmonious. I drank baijiu (Chinese liquor), while my wife and my classmate drank red wine. At first, my classmate talked about their trivial matters as a couple, as well as some embarrassing things I did when I was in school; later, my wife recalled the process of how we met and fell in love. Work, career, family, etc. She laughed heartily for a while, then shed a few tears.
Later, they finished their red wine and started drinking beer. In the blink of an eye, four bottles of beer were gone, and they started fighting with me for baijiu. I was terrified they'd say something inappropriate while drunk, so I clung tightly to the bottle of liquor.
The two women quickly reached an agreement: "We won't drink that crap; we'll go out and buy some more right now."
They were about to leave when I tried to stop them, but they punched and kicked me. I had no choice but to let them go.
They returned with a bunch of beer. However, they didn't drink much, instead continuing their endless chatter about life. Before I knew it, it was past 11 PM.
My classmate suggested we go back to the hotel. My wife strongly objected. The hotel was far from our home, and she was worried about my safety driving after drinking. She couldn't bear to let her take a taxi home alone, so she suggested my classmate stay at our house for the night. —By this time, we had moved to a bigger house with an extra small bedroom for my parents who often stayed over.
Seeing this, my classmate didn't refuse and agreed to let me stay.
After a quick wash, my wife and I crawled into bed. My wife's reaction was unusually passionate; she clung to me like a snake, kissing and biting me. She then began shouting and screaming unrestrainedly beneath me.
I repeatedly tried to cover her mouth to stop her, but it was all in vain; her defiant screams were impossible to silence. After the passion subsided, I quickly fell asleep due to the alcohol.
Some time later, I woke up thirsty from the alcohol and was about to get up to get some water when I suddenly noticed my wife staring at me with her eyes wide open.
Startled, I asked, "Why aren't you asleep yet?"
She said, "I can't sleep, I haven't been able to sleep at all."
I reached out and pulled her into my arms: "What's wrong, darling?"
She said, "Nothing, just overthinking."
I said, "What are you thinking about now? Tell me."
She hesitated for a moment, then asked, "Won't anything else happen between you and her in the future?"
I said, "Silly girl, trust me, I won't lie to you or hurt you again."
My wife didn't answer, burying her head in my chest.
After a while, my wife suddenly stammered and said to me, "Why don't you go check on her..."
This startled me, and I quickly said, "Don't be silly, be good, go to sleep."
My wife said, "I'm not joking, and I'm not testing you, I mean it, go ahead."
My mind raced, trying to figure out what was going on. Before I could understand, my wife added, "Come back in an hour."
I didn't answer, but silently hugged my wife and kissed her deeply.
After a long while, my wife said again, "Go..."
*** *** *** *** ***
Pushing open the door to the small bedroom, I quietly asked, "Are you asleep?"
There was no answer. I went to the bedside; my female classmate was lying face up, eyes open.
I pulled back the covers and lay down next to her, whispering, "Why aren't you asleep?"
My classmate nudged me, saying urgently, "Are you crazy? Hurry back, or we'll both be dead if your wife comes."
I said, "It's okay, I won't do anything. I'll just hold you for a bit, then I'll go back right away."
My classmate sighed, turned around, and hugged me tightly, then whispered in my ear, "You're really too brave. Aren't you afraid your wife will wake up and not be able to find you?"
I sighed and said, "She already knows about us."
Hearing this, my classmate didn't react with surprise.
This puzzled me, so I asked her, "Aren't you scared?"
She thought for a moment and said, "Actually, your husband already told me when we went out to buy alcohol."
I fell silent...
We lay there quietly for a while, and then she said, "Go back. I can't do anything to betray her again."
I got up and walked towards my wife's room. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. I quickly went back to the bedside, picked her up, and said, "Come here too."
My classmate struggled and cursed at me, "Put me down, you bastard, do you want to die?"
I ignored her and carried her to my wife's and my bedroom.
When we entered the room, to cover up the embarrassment, she deliberately called my wife's name loudly and said, "Don't you care about your husband? Look at the mess you've made!"
My wife was equally surprised and said, "Why aren't you sleeping properly in the middle of the night? You two are just making a mess of things."
I walked to the bedside and slammed the woman in my arms onto the bed.

(10)
The female classmate, while trying to get out of bed, said, "I'm not going to mess around with you guys anymore, I'm going back to sleep."
My wife said, "Since you're already here, let's talk for a bit. I haven't been able to sleep since I was drinking too much."
Seeing this, the classmate went along with it and lay down on the bed, still muttering about me, "You really need to control your jerk husband."
My wife laughed and pulled the blanket over her. I went around to the inside of the bed and lay down next to my wife. —I was on the innermost side, my wife was in the middle, and she was on the outermost side.
The atmosphere became a little awkward. Neither of us knew what to say. I tried to make conversation with my wife, saying, "She hasn't slept either."
My wife teased my classmate, "Even country bumpkins are too excited to sleep on their first trip to the city."
My classmate replied, "I'm trying to sleep, but you two are making such a racket, it's driving me crazy."
I chimed in, "If I'd known it would be like this, I would have lent it to you."
Before I could finish, my wife immediately said, "Yeah, it's not like we haven't used it before."
My classmate said, "You two must be crazy."
I pretended to be drunk and suddenly jumped between them. My classmate tried to get up and run away, but I pulled him back and wrapped my arm around him. So, I had one arm around her and the other around my wife. The three of us lay there silently, each feeling the other's heartbeat.
Suddenly, a hand touched my penis. Judging from the direction, it belonged to my wife. To an outsider, describing this scene might seem exciting, but I was incredibly tense. Far from being excited, my penis felt completely limp, utterly devoid of feeling. My wife teased me, "You useless man, two beautiful women in your arms and you don't even react!"
I turned and kissed my wife passionately, breaking the ice. My female classmate also reached out and hugged me.
The two women's hands alternately caressed my sensitive areas. Later, I moved to the outermost edge of the bed, and my wife and I embraced each other, caressing each other. Suddenly, they kissed. This was the first time I'd ever witnessed two women caressing each other, and I never imagined it would feel so beautiful…
At one point, I tried to penetrate my classmate, but it didn't work. My initially excited penis went limp as soon as it reached the entrance. I think it was probably because I was worried about my wife, afraid she wouldn't accept it, and also because I wasn't fully psychologically prepared. This strange feeling prevented me from completely letting go. However, the sensory stimulation was already intense enough.
After a while, the alcohol made me a little dizzy. The two of them were embracing each other, talking intermittently, and I slowly fell asleep.
The next morning, I was shaken awake. I opened my eyes and saw it was my classmate, already dressed. I wasn't quite there yet. Looking at the bed, my wife wasn't there. I asked her, "Where's XX?"
She said, "She's cooking in the kitchen. Get up."
I pulled her close and kissed her. Then I got up.
That was the end of it. My classmate had a three-day conference, and when she left, my wife and I went to the airport to see her off. Seeing how reluctant they were to part, I realized they were both genuine. The feeling of ulterior motives had disappeared. Afterwards, I talked to my wife about it several times, trying to understand her true motive for asking me to go to another room that night. Each time, she explained it like this: she had drunk too much. So, I stopped asking. Now
, this is how I understand my wife's behavior that night: First, there was an element of excitement, but not much of it. Second, perhaps it stems from a hidden sense of atonement within her. Although I don't think she made a huge mistake, that brief affair years ago remains an unresolved knot in her heart.
Third, she wanted to use this method to firmly grasp my heart.
These three factors may all be present, or none at all. If you carefully observe women, you will find that they possess many mysteries that you will never understand in your lifetime.

(XI)
After this near-NP experience, I purposefully read some articles about NP online. I discovered a very interesting phenomenon: the vast majority of men seem to dislike the two-woman-one-man arrangement. Based on my experience, I think this idea is very real and quite normal.
In fact, this is not difficult to understand. Since ancient times, Chinese people have always regarded sex as a very ambiguous and shameful thing, and the topic of sex has always been very sensitive. Although Confucius said long ago that "food and sex are human nature," his later disciples, especially from Zhu Xi onwards, have always advocated the suppression of human nature. The suppression and destruction of women, in particular, is outrageous. It seems that women, both physically and psychologically, are inherently subordinate to men.
Therefore, many men still commit adultery outside of marriage while shamelessly advocating "white deception," while some with a conscience cannot resist seeking pleasure outside the marriage while enduring guilt towards their wives.
Some deeply ingrained traditional concepts are very difficult to break. Therefore, many women can only choose to turn a blind eye to their husbands' misconduct—a helpless concession. In most Chinese families, the economic foundation is generally controlled and dominated by men, which determines that women are also at a disadvantage in the superstructure of marriage. Furthermore, even in families where women are economically independent, women's innate maternal instincts make them more family-oriented than men, giving them a stronger sense of responsibility towards children and the elderly. Coupled with some subconscious traditional patriarchal ideas, women can only suppress themselves.
Returning to the initial topic of NP (non-consensual relationships), this topic remains confined to online conversations with strangers. No one dares to discuss it with close friends or family in real life, unless the relationship has evolved from online to offline. Zhao Benshan once said in an interview, "In China, speaking a few truths is taken as humor."
Yes, we've become accustomed to hypocrisy. Even worse, speaking the truth is often seen as perverted, even if the listener inwardly finds what you say perfectly normal; they'll still verbally condemn you. For example, many of those currently criticizing Li Yinhe are clearly insincere, yet they still vehemently condemn her. Rational people shouldn't be angry about this, because they're deceiving themselves. We shouldn't punish ourselves for the foolishness of others.
Let's analyze the pressure on a man in a situation involving two women and one man with his wife present: First, psychologically, if you don't deeply love your wife, you don't need to do this; if you do love your wife, you'll be very worried that she'll be jealous, angry, or unhappy. No matter how well you communicate beforehand, you can't eliminate this psychological pressure unless you're not a very responsible man. Second, physiologically, due to the physiological structure of men and women, unless both women have bisexual tendencies, one of them will always be excluded, and one woman will always be temporarily neglected. Even if the women don't mind this neglect, as a man, you'll feel an invisible pressure and guilt. This pressure and guilt can easily lead to weakness, making the whole process very regrettable. In that case, you might as well go on a date with your lover alone; that would be more passionate and wouldn't directly harm your wife.
Since our unsuccessful near-NP (multiple partners) encounter, my female classmate came to our city again. My wife still wanted her to stay with us, but I stopped her, and I felt really awkward. Our relationship as a trio remained excellent, and when I was alone with her, the previous ambiguity was gone. We'd occasionally hold hands, hug, or kiss—that was all.
Sometimes, this intimacy was more pleasurable than sex. She frequently called my home, but most of the time she spoke with my wife. Even when I answered, we'd only exchange a few words before I handed the phone to my wife, letting the two women chatter on—topics that, to a man, would be utterly tedious: for example, she'd just had a fight with her husband, and my wife would join her in berating him; or my wife and I had just argued, and they'd both berate me on the phone.
From that moment on, I completely broke off all contact with my former lover, and I never lied to my wife about having been with another woman. This wasn't because I was particularly self-disciplined, nor was it to uphold any promise to my wife; it was entirely voluntary. Men who frequent hotels and restaurants often experience this: when you suddenly realize the warmth of home, you feel that no matter how luxurious the hotel, it's not as comfortable as your own bed; no matter how lavish the banquet, it's not as delicious as the few simple dishes on your family's table.
When I recall my sexual experiences with other women, I truly feel that the most harmonious and comfortable intimacy comes from my wife. That kind of deep, intimate connection built on a solid emotional foundation is hard to achieve with other women.
I can illustrate this with two simple examples: when my wife and I are intimate, as soon as I try to close my legs, she immediately bends and raises them, changing positions even before I stop thrusting.
Most incredibly, no matter how deeply my wife is asleep, if I gently touch her head with my arm, she immediately lifts her head so I can place my arm under her head, then turns and snuggles into my arms—all without her conscious awareness.
Sometimes I envy men who are so at ease in the world of pleasure. I wonder how they can be so passionate when facing strange women. I can't do that. I've always felt that sex is based on feelings and communication. At the very least, the two people can't be complete strangers. Otherwise, the more you think about it, the more awkward it becomes. It's like a strange man on the street taking off his socks and handing them to you, and you keep wearing them—I think few people would agree to that.
Due to my work, I've had many opportunities to go to entertainment venues over the years, but without exception, I choose to drink or have tea alone. My colleagues and friends often sincerely praise me for being very virtuous. But they don't know that, in terms of bad deeds, I've probably done more than them, just in different ways. In essence, my behavior of seducing respectable women back then was much worse.

(12)
My wife is basically a computer novice. At work, she's limited to general computer operations, and at home, she doesn't go online much. On MSL, she mainly uses it to contact classmates or family. Starting a few years ago, I would occasionally find some of Li Yinhe's rational articles to show her.
—Here, I want to reiterate a few more points: Some say that Li Yinhe is leading the public down a path of evil. This is absolutely a major misunderstanding. If behavior occurs after theory, then that theory may play a guiding role. However, when a theory arises after behavior, it is a summary of that behavior. Only such a theory can be considered correct. This is what is commonly referred to as "theory originates from practice."
Before Li Yinhe's rational analysis, homosexuality, sadomasochism, group sex, and so on, were all real occurrences. Therefore, Li Yinhe did not mislead anyone. On the contrary, Li Yinhe simply analyzes why you did what you did after your behavior occurred. She absolutely does not command you to do something before your behavior occurs. —This point must be understood first.
Let me give you an example. For instance, a weaver bird will make its nest very beautiful, but before it finishes weaving a nest, it doesn't know what the nest it is going to weave will look like, nor does it understand the specific purpose of its behavior. When completing the nest-weaving process, it acts entirely out of instinct—that's what animals are like.
Humans are different. Humans possess subjective initiative; their behavior is simultaneously governed by will and consciousness. In other words, when people do something, they know why they are doing it. This is what is commonly referred to as "proactive initiative." However, we often find ourselves in a state of confusion, doing many things without understanding what we are doing or why we are doing them. Li Yinhe serves this purpose: "Making you clear about why you did what you did, whether what you did was right or wrong," thus distinguishing humans from animals.
It was with this initial intention that I consciously showed my wife Li Yinhe's articles. I did this not to corrupt her (besides, it's impossible to corrupt her this way), but simply because I was worried she might feel psychological pressure, self-blame, or even regret about what had happened. Knowing what happened is easy; knowing why it happened is difficult.
This requires a patient process of guidance.
As it turned out, what I did was entirely correct. Later, my wife told me that she regretted what happened that night after sobering up the next morning. Her regret wasn't because she had offered me the opportunity to be intimate with her female classmate, but because she was afraid I would think she was despicable and perverted. She cared about my feelings and was afraid I would look down on her because of it.
However, with my proper guidance, her psychological barriers were eliminated.
Sometimes, when I'm intimate with my wife, I ask her, "When you meet a very handsome and outstanding man, do you ever feel a flutter in your heart?"
My wife honestly says, "Yes, but it's limited to a flutter of the heart and occasional fantasies. I don't have any desire to actually do anything with him because I've filled her heart too much."
These words deeply moved me; I was moved by her honesty.

(XIII)
Before continuing my story, I still want to talk about "cheating." In many cases, there is a fundamental difference between cheating and cheating for men and women: men cheat because they abandon reason, while women are the opposite: women cheat because they awaken their reason; when men cheat, they focus on physical and sensory stimulation, while when women cheat, they focus more on emotional exchange.
Desire is the direct cause of cheating. However, the content of desire when men and women cheat is completely different. Men's desires are closer to primal animalistic lust, while women's are different. Women's infidelity often stems from a desire for communication, a desire to be cared for and loved by the opposite sex, or even a desire to be valued and respected after being neglected by their husbands for a long time.
This is precisely why I have always disliked reading purely erotic articles that portray women as extremely lewd and explicit. Unless it's a professional prostitute acting out of professional necessity, very few real women in life can truly act that way. This is not hypocrisy, nor is it related to repression; it stems from a woman's nature. Let
's talk about the word "infidelity." First, there are tracks, then there are trains running on them. Wherever the tracks lead, that's where the train goes. When the train is running normally on the tracks, it cannot be defined as "derailment."
However, between husband and wife, if your tracks are limited to sexual communication between husband and wife, then when one party crosses this boundary, it is called infidelity. However, if the sexual relationship extends beyond the marriage and is genuinely accepted by both partners, then when the train of desire travels along the tracks laid out by the couple towards other people, it still doesn't constitute derailment.
Where those tracks lead is entirely up to each couple. You can't force someone to do something against their will, nor can you simply imitate others; otherwise, the consequences will be very serious.
Whenever I see men online desperately trying to get their wives to accept this kind of "couples dating," I worry for them. I want to ask: Do you truly understand the full meaning of couples dating? Are you truly prepared psychologically for this? Does your wife have sufficient psychological resilience?
Is it merely a one-sided desire for that alternative stimulation? If so, I advise you to stop immediately and abandon this dangerous game unless you want to destroy your family. If you're only accepting couples dating to change the reality of a lack of passion in your marriage, if you're only trying to change the bland state of your relationship, it's like trying to find pleasure through drugs. The final damage will be fatal.
For example, consider two couples who marry solely for physical intimacy without any emotional foundation. How long can such marriages last? Similarly, how long can the passion last if one hastily engages in couple-based dating games simply for a novel thrill? When the initial excitement fades, you will find it difficult to face the mundane realities of life. More seriously, you may also face unspeakable psychological barriers with your spouse.
A healthy bird flying from an eighth-floor window faces the vast blue sky where it can soar freely, while a person flying from an eighth-floor window faces being shattered to pieces. Therefore, before attempting to fly out of your window, never forget to rationally examine whether you have wings capable of soaring through the sky.
A word of caution to those eager to engage in couple-based dating games: proceed with extreme caution. Couple-based dating games can be a wonderful thing in themselves, but if done poorly, they can be fatal. Just like opium, a moderate amount of opium can be used as medicine when the condition is right, to treat illnesses and save lives, but simple overdose will damage a person's health.

(XIV)
Let's not talk about those empty theories anymore, let's continue to tell the story between us.
I believe that many couples are very loving, so I want to ask my fellow men a question: Do you often feel that your wife is like your daughter? -- I want to state that I am very disgusted by incest.
I'm referring to that kind of heartfelt love. Like every time I hold my daughter in my arms, feeling that little life snuggling close to me. At that moment, you feel that this little life is your whole life.
She is your entire world.
When my daughter was very young, I often held her and said to my wife, "Honey, the thought of some day some bastard taking our daughter away from me makes me want to chop him up."
My wife would say, "Fine, you're ruthless. Let your daughter never get married."
As my daughter grew up, and because we were away from her for long periods, every time I saw her, I was amazed by her changes. From the moment she first called me "Dad," which moved me to tears, to now, when she deliberately teases me, I can't hit or scold her. I can only hide away and slap myself a couple of times when I'm angry.
But most of the time, in my daughter's eyes, one word from her dad is more effective than a thousand words from her mom.
Many of my daughter's behaviors are considered rebellious by my wife, but she doesn't know that I secretly support many of her naughty behaviors. For example, my daughter often gives me random nicknames; she often associates me with some villain on TV. These behaviors were initially intolerable to my wife, but I didn't care. I don't know if you've read Yang Jiang's writings about Qian Zhongshu, but Qian Zhongshu was even more mischievous than his daughter.
My wife, in my eyes, is like another daughter. Don't be fooled by her serious demeanor in front of our daughter; when our daughter isn't home, she completely lacks adult manners. She sits and stands slouches, shakes her head, and even talks nonsense—all of this is entirely due to my influence. For example, when it's just the two of us at home, I often call her "My dear girl!"
She replies, "You old geezer, what's up?"
Sometimes I'm lying on the sofa reading a book, and she comes over and unzips my pants. I ask warily, "What are you doing?"
She says, "None of your business."
Then she takes out my penis, holds it in her hand, and tilts her head to say to me, "This is mine!"
I say, "Yes, it's yours, cut it off and take it."
My wife says, "No, it has to be kept here. You have to take good care of it for me, and you can't lend it to anyone else without my permission..."
When I'm having sex with my wife, I often tease her like this: "Honey, I'm old and useless. I'll find you a handsome young man tomorrow."
My wife will definitely act very impatient and say, "Okay, okay, hurry up, I've long since lost interest in you, you old geezer."
Sometimes, I really do have the idea of finding a handsome young man for my wife. This isn't because I enjoy imagining how exciting it would be for my beloved woman to be under another man; it's also because of Confucius's saying: "Food, sex, are human nature." Sex is as commonplace as eating.
There's a song by Wakin Chau: "My dearest baby, I want to cross mountains to find the lost sun, to find the lost moon; my dearest baby, I want to cross oceans to find the lost rainbow, to catch the fleeting shooting star; I want to fly to the endless night sky, to pluck a star for you as a toy; I want to touch the moon with my own hands, and write your name on it..."
This song was sung by Wakin Chau to his daughter, but many people mistakenly believe it's a love song. However, this misunderstanding is quite apt; it is indeed a love song. Only men who truly love their wives can understand the song's content. A
wife's first physical contact with another man is infidelity, an experience painful for both of us, painful because of betrayal. However, even for couples who have never had infidelity, psychologically speaking, both men and women occasionally experience longing for other members of the opposite sex outside of marriage; this longing is perfectly normal. This longing, or infatuation, is often not necessarily driven by a desire for betrayal, but simply curiosity. Human beings' continuous exploration is largely due to this curiosity about the unfamiliar.
So, I decided to find an opportunity to satisfy my wife's curiosity. However, this cannot be rushed. At the very least, I need to make her understand that her actions are based on my unreserved support. I need to make her understand that I am her strong backing. Only under such circumstances can my wife relax without any worries.

(XV)
Zhuangzi, one of the founders of Taoism, has always advocated governing by non-action, which is also the most basic concept of Taoism: non-action yet nothing is left undone. The ideas of various schools of thought in China are similar in many ways. For example, the idea of non-action. In military strategy,
it is similar to Sun Tzu's strategic concept of "subduing the enemy without fighting" to achieve total victory. Of course, this kind of "non-action" is only superficial, similar to the saying "a gentleman loves money, but he acquires it in a proper way."
So-called non-action does not mean doing nothing. For example, if you are an ordinary employee in a unit, you want to be promoted, but how can you get promoted? Ask the boss for a promotion? You might be kicked out immediately. In this situation, what you need to do most is to do your current job well and seize opportunities to showcase your talents in areas outside your job description. If you do this, it's impossible not to get promoted. This is the true meaning of "governing by doing nothing."
Applying the idea of "governing by doing nothing" to a marital relationship means: don't deliberately try to find where your passion lies, don't be passionate for the sake of passion. If you truly love your wife and consider her your only one in this life (please note, "only one" here refers to your only true love), if you truly consider your family your top priority, then prove it with your actions by wholeheartedly caring for and cherishing her.
Based on my own experience, I can tell you that if you wholeheartedly love your wife, then after making the above efforts, you and she will truly become best friends. In this case, whatever you want to do, she will support you, and this support will be genuine.
To use a somewhat inappropriate analogy: it's like you can go to a brothel with your best friend without feeling awkward about it. —So, if you want to try having marital intimacy, why wouldn't she support you? Now
that the psychological barrier is gone, will she refuse the opportunity to relax?
This method is similar to the encirclement and suppression tactics used by the Eighth Route Army and the New Fourth Army during the War of Resistance Against Japan. You can try it; it might give you a pleasant surprise. And the final winner will be you, your wife, and your family.
Now, let's get back to the main topic and talk about our relationship.
I've never seriously said to my wife, "Honey, I'm going to find you a handsome guy on a certain day to satisfy your curiosity."
—Although I occasionally tease her during sex, I never do it like that normally. No matter what she thinks, I feel awkward myself.
In Taoist thought, there's a famous concept: "When things happen, the mind responds; when things go, the mind stops."
Many people know this saying, but many can't put it into practice. I'm not saying this because I've definitely achieved it. For example, finding a wallet is "things happening," and I feel happy, which is "responding to the mind." However, if I lose my wallet, I can't "stop the mind"; I'll feel heartbroken as if my own flesh is being torn apart.
That being said, "it's hard to do" shouldn't be a reason for us to refuse. Even if we can't do it completely, we can at least try to do a little bit, such as interpreting "when things happen, we should respond" as "patiently waiting for the right time to act."
The right time finally came, but I hadn't expected it beforehand.

(XVI)
One August, my wife and I agreed to take our annual leave together and go on a tour with a tour group.
Before we got married, we often dreamed of traveling together to the rainforests of Xishuangbanna or the vast grasslands of Inner Mongolia. We often imagined the romance of the ancient Loulan Kingdom and the pristine beauty of the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau. Many years have passed since our marriage, and the constraints of work and life have kept our travel plans on hold.
This time, we finally made up our minds to leave behind all the seemingly endless琐事 (trivial matters) and relax for half a month. We researched our travel route for a long time, ultimately abandoning our previous long-desired destinations because of the limited time. We finally signed up for a tour group with China Railway Travel Service, starting from Zhangjiajie, Hunan, and continuing to Guangzhou and Shenzhen. Our main destination was Zhangjiajie.
Most of the people in the tour group were couples or partners, and there were also families of three traveling together. There was only one lone traveler—a tall, handsome young man in his twenties studying at a university in Guangzhou. Let's call him C. He was using the two weeks before the start of the semester to travel to school. C is very outgoing, sunny, and cheerful. He was in the next berth with my wife and me on the train and quickly became friends with us. His youthful way of thinking and carefree style often made my wife and me laugh out loud, making us feel like we were back in our carefree student days.
In the following days, he became our little helper. Whether shopping or in scenic spots, my wife and I traveled light—food and other necessities were all stuffed into his backpack. Even when shopping on the street, my wife would confidently shove the bags into his hands and command, "Carry them obediently."
He would obediently take them, but deliberately make a miserable face, saying, "Oh my god, why is my life so miserable?"
I told him, "You should secretly rejoice. This is giving you a free lesson, letting you know how troublesome women can be, so you won't be caught off guard in the future."
Some men may just be born knowing how to get along with women. This little boy was one of those people. He often used seemingly mischievous behaviors to evoke his wife's tenderness. For example, while walking down the street, he suddenly stopped in front of a food stall and pleaded with my wife, "Sister, have pity on me, I'm starving!"
My wife and I had no choice but to sit there with him, watching him devour those inexplicable snacks that neither of us were interested in. My wife, chin in hand, watched him with a beaming smile, as if he were her own brother or child.
In Zhangjiajie, while hiking, my wife's new hiking shoes rubbed her heels raw, causing her to limp and suffer greatly without any spare shoes. We had brought band-aids, but they were in Xiao C's backpack, and Xiao C wasn't with the group. We didn't know where she'd gone off to. My wife, furious, sat on the ground cursing, "That damned thing! He left without a word! He should have left my bag!"
I was at a loss, and could only comfort her, saying, "If it's really necessary, you can wear my shoes, and I'll walk barefoot."
My wife said, "Fine, just bear with it. If you walk barefoot on this mountain path, I'll have to find someone to carry you down."
Just as we were both frowning in worry, we saw Little C running up the mountain, panting and covered in sweat. Before he could say anything, my wife started yelling at him, "You rascal, where have you been? Hurry up and give me my bag!"
Little C grinned without saying a word, and in the blink of an eye, as if by magic, he pulled a pair of shoes out of his bag. They were just ordinary rubber-soled cloth shoes, ugly in appearance, but very comfortable to wear. My wife and I were both very surprised and asked in unison, "Did you run down to buy shoes?"
You know, that's nearly four or five kilometers round trip. Little C chuckled and said, "It's nothing, I'm an athlete, this little distance is nothing. I can cover it in the blink of an eye."
He then handed his shoes to his wife, saying, "Sis, change into these quickly."
This gesture moved my wife and me so much we didn't know what to say. After changing her shoes, my wife's discomfort completely disappeared. I said to Little C, "Give me your backpack quickly, you can rest for a bit."
Little C casually replied, "Brother, do you really look down on me? This little distance is nothing."
Along the way, we took many photos together, but hadn't taken a group photo yet. During a rest break halfway up the mountain, Little C pulled out his camera and handed it to me. I said, "Why don't you take a picture with your sister?"
My wife happily ran to his side, naturally wrapping her arms around his neck. Through the lens, I noticed Little C's face suddenly flushed red with embarrassment. After taking the picture, I teased Xiao C, saying, "You'd better be careful, don't let your girlfriend see this photo, or you're dead meat."
Xiao C had calmed down by then and said, "What's there to be afraid of? Who can stop me from taking a picture with my older sister?"
That night, after returning to the hotel and taking a shower, my wife lay on the bed, and I massaged her. My wife sighed, "Little C is such a good boy. I wonder which lucky girl will marry him."
I said, "What? Getting a little envious? Should we go after him?"
My wife slapped me and said, "Don't be so shameless, ruining a young man like him!"
I said, "What young man? If he hadn't gone to graduate school, he would be working by now. When I was his age, you would have already dragged me down with you."
During our subsequent lovemaking, I asked my wife again, "Honey, really, do you really like him? If you do, I'll arrange it for you."
My wife thought for a moment and said, "I can't say it. People will think I'm a lovesick fool, it'll be so embarrassing."
I said, "You don't need to worry about that. I'll arrange it for you. Everything will fall into place naturally."
The next afternoon, we were back on the train heading to our next stop, Guiyang. Little C was still all smiles. In contrast, my wife was much quieter, probably because of our conversation the night before. She lay on her bunk quietly reading a magazine, but every time Little C made a sound in the opposite bunk, she would immediately steal a glance, clearly harboring ulterior motives. In the middle of the journey, while Little C wandered around to other carriages, I jumped down from the middle bunk and sat next to my wife. I whispered in her ear, "What were you thinking about just now?"
My wife pretended not to understand and said, "What was I thinking about? I was reading a book."
I said, "Don't lie to me, let me check." I
then reached my hand into my wife's pants. My wife hit me with a magazine and said, "Stop it, there are so many people on the train, what are you doing?"
Looking at my wife's face, it was already extremely red with embarrassment.
The train arrived in Guiyang in the morning. The itinerary was very tight; we spent the day in Guiyang and then set off for Guangzhou that evening. I'm very familiar with Guiyang; I've been there several times on business trips. So, when the train arrived, I said to my wife and Xiao C, "You two go with the tour group. I don't want to get off. I've been so tired these past few days; a day of rest is perfect."
Xiao C readily agreed, "Don't worry about my sister; I'm a natural protector."
My wife said somewhat awkwardly, "Since we're here, let's go sightseeing together."
I winked at her secretly, "I've been here often; there's nothing much to do. You two go ahead."
There were two reasons I didn't want to get off. First, I really didn't want to revisit a place I was already very familiar with. Second, and most importantly, I wanted to give them some time alone.
Watching my wife and Xiao C walk side-by-side on the platform from the train window, watching Xiao C gesturing and talking to my wife, I felt calm and sweet, without a trace of jealousy. It felt like a father watching his grown-up daughter happily go on a date with her lover. —This feeling is very natural when you consider your wife's happiness and joy the most important thing in your life. Of course, there is an even more important reason for this mindset: complete confidence in oneself, one's wife, and one's marriage.

(XVII)
In the afternoon, the two returned to the bus with the tour group. They clearly had a great time, bringing me back a bunch of food. The three of us sat around the tea table for dinner. Little C sat opposite me, recounting the day's events and some interesting anecdotes, including witnessing the police arrest a drug dealer and user on the street.
My wife sat next to me, not in a hurry to eat, but holding my arm and resting her head on my shoulder. I could feel her loving gaze fixed on Little C. Little C, however, remained carefree and cheerful.
The train journey ahead was long. Because our tour train was a temporary operation, there was no fixed schedule, and sometimes it would stop for several hours at a small, well-known station. When bored, the three of us played cards to pass the time. By this time, Little C had become completely like family to us, constantly calling us "brother," "elder brother," "older sister," and "beautiful lady," often making my wife laugh uncontrollably.
Finally, on a sunny morning, the train arrived in Guangzhou as planned. Little C proudly told us, "This is my second hometown. We don't need a tour guide here; I'm an excellent one."
At this time of year, most of southern China is hot, and Guangzhou is no exception, though the mornings are still pleasant. After getting off the train with the tour group, we went to the accommodations arranged by the travel agency—a very nice three-star hotel. After settling in, the three of us broke away from the group and went out to explore on our own. Little C, with his experience, said, "Most of the tourist spots arranged by the tour group are shopping destinations; they're not fun."
So, led by Little C, we happily wandered around. At one point, I took a moment to say to my wife, "I'm going to a classmate's house tonight. It's up to you now."
My wife feigned surprise and reluctance, saying, "Are you serious? Are you crazy?"
I patted her cheek and said, "Don't be nervous. Just do what you want. If you don't feel comfortable, stop. Just go with the flow."
My wife blushed and said, "We'll see."
Around 4 PM, we got tired of shopping and decided to go back to the hotel. After eating at the restaurant on the first floor, I returned to my room and called a college classmate who lived in Guangzhou. Hearing my voice, he thought I was at home. I said, "Hey kid, I'm in Guangzhou."
He excitedly exclaimed on the other end of the line, "Oh my god, where are you? I'll come pick you up right away!"
So, we agreed to meet an hour later near my hotel.
Meanwhile, my wife was incredibly nervous. She kept asking me, "Can you stop messing around?"
I hugged her and said, "Honey, really, don't be nervous. If you feel awkward or unhappy, just don't do anything. I'll tell him to come over, but I won't give him any real instructions to avoid embarrassment. The rest is up to you two. I'll be back tomorrow morning."
Before leaving, my wife hugged me from behind, dragging me towards the door, muttering, "Honey, don't go, let's stop messing around, okay?"
At the door, I turned around, hugged her, and gently kissed her, saying, "Don't be scared, sweetie." My husband will always be there for me. Like I always say, if you're unhappy, don't force yourself. My phone is always on; you can call me anytime to come back.
After saying that, I left the room and went to Xiao C's. Xiao C was fiddling with the TV in his room. I said to him, "I'm going to meet an old classmate I haven't seen in years tonight. When you're free, go keep your sister company so she won't be bored. Also, don't forget to massage her shoulders; they always hurt when she walks too much."
Xiao C said, "Hey, it's not a female classmate, is it?"
I kicked him: "Kids shouldn't ask questions like that."
After saying that, I left the hotel.

(18)
A classmate from Guangzhou, who was my roommate in college. His hometown is a small city in the north. He hooked up with a well-connected girl from Guangzhou during college, and we were both assigned to Guangzhou after graduation. Since graduation, we hadn't seen each other, only kept in touch by phone. When we met, this guy, with the typical boldness of a northern man, ran over shouting and hugged me, spinning me around a few times.
He asked me, "Are you in Guangzhou on business or personal?"
I didn't mention that I was traveling with my wife, otherwise he would definitely have invited her. I said, "Just some business, but it's all done. I was planning to go back tonight, but I wanted to see you, so I changed my plans to leave tomorrow. You have to take me in tonight, otherwise I'll be homeless."
My classmate said, "No problem, I can give you my whole house to live in."
I said, "It would be best if you left your wife too."
My classmate punched me hard and said, "Still the same shameless face you used to have."
Sitting in the car, I asked my classmate, "Where are we going now?"
My classmate said, "Nowhere, just home. I called your aunt, she and the housekeeper are preparing dinner at home."
-- Haha, he called his wife my aunt. We've been making this kind of joke since we were in school. Back in our university days, dating was a secretive thing, something we could only do in the dorm. Every time he brought his girlfriend back to the dorm, he would say, "Kids, your aunt is here, get out of here!"
So, everyone would curse under their breath and reluctantly leave the dorm.
That evening, we drank over a pound of strong liquor, reminiscing about our student days while sighing and discussing our work frustrations, occasionally cursing, "Fuck it all..."
It seems people are never satisfied. Take my classmate, for example; if he hadn't hooked up with someone powerful, he might still be a lowly township official in some unknown town, or worse, maybe eating chalk dust in some cramped school. Looking at him now, his career is thriving, his father-in-law, though retired, has already arranged everything for him, and he even has a maid who silently endures their exploitation.
After drinking a certain amount of alcohol, we started drinking tea, chatting about everything under the sun, the conversation seemingly endless. At one point, I missed my wife and called her. I asked, "How are you?"
She didn't answer directly, only saying, "Honey, drink less, and come home early tomorrow."
I said, "Don't worry, I'm fine. Cheer up, I love you."
My classmate thought I was calling home and tried to grab my phone, saying, "Let me say a few words to my nephew's wife."
I quickly hung up.
My classmate scoffed, "Damn, your kid's all grown up, what are you pretending to be young for? 'I love you,' how cheesy."
I spat at him and said, "You don't know anything."
That night, my classmate and I chatted until after 1 a.m. His wife came into the living room twice, mockingly saying, "Hmm, not bad, finally found someone to brag to, you two better not stop."
My classmate said, "Damn, I haven't been this happy in years."
The next morning, my classmate thought I was really leaving Guangzhou and insisted on taking me to the airport. I said, "Don't worry about me, I'll just wander around and buy some things for my wife and kids. The airport bus is convenient, I can leave anytime." So, my classmate went to work
, and we parted ways. I took a taxi back to the hotel. On the way, I called my wife to tell her I was back.
I opened the room door with my key card and went inside. My wife hadn't gotten up yet, lying on her side with a towel covering her face inwards. I knew she was pretending to be asleep. I went over and lay down next to her, patting her: "Were you up all night? You must be exhausted."
My wife turned and hugged me, burying her face in my chest and playfully punching me with her little fists, repeatedly saying, "You're so mean, so mean, so mean..."
I turned her face away, yanked off the towel covering her, and said, "I need to check my baby to see if any parts are missing."
My wife laughed, got up, and ran into the bathroom. While she was showering, I glanced around the room; both beds were a mess. It seemed they had had a very passionate night.
Perhaps because I had drunk too much last night, my head was still slightly dizzy, and I couldn't make sense of it all. I randomly turned on the TV and randomly picked a channel. A little while later, my wife came out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, jumped onto the bed, and hugged me. I asked her, "Honey, did you have fun last night?"
My wife thought for a moment and said, "Honey, you won't blame me, will you?"
I hugged her and said, "Of course not, silly girl."
My wife said, "He was really amazing. He basically kept me going all night, doing it five times. I felt like we were back in the early days of our marriage. My back is still sore."
I said, "Let's not go out today. You should rest."
My wife looked into my eyes and said from the bottom of her heart, "Honey, thank you for everything."
I asked her, "When did he leave?"
My wife said, "He went back around 5 a.m., afraid you'd see him when you came back. Before he left, he kept asking me, 'Am I being too unfair to my brother?'"
I asked my wife, "You didn't tell him I agreed to it, did you?"
My wife said, "How could I tell him? Besides, he wouldn't believe me anyway, and it might even scare him." "
So, I slept with my wife until after 11 a.m., then we got up, washed our faces, and went out for lunch. We went to Xiao C's room and knocked, but there was no response after a while. Thinking he wasn't in the room, my wife and I were about to turn away when the door opened. Xiao C stood in the doorway with red eyes, clearly still half asleep. He was startled when he saw me. Afraid of embarrassing him, I didn't look at him directly. As I walked into the room, I deliberately teased him, 'Kid, what mischief did you get up to last night? You're so sleepy?'
Xiao C stammered, unsure what to say. My wife quickly
chimed in, saying to Xiao C, 'Hurry up and wash your face, let's go downstairs for lunch.' Xiao C seemed to have received a pardon, agreed, and then quickly ran into the bathroom. My wife nudged me and whispered, 'You're so naughty.'" At the lunch
table, Little C looked very uncomfortable, his eyes darting around. Seeing this, I got mischievous again and said to him, "Kid, judging from my old-timer's perspective, you must have done something bad last night. Are you going to confess willingly, or wait for me to interrogate you?"
Little C chuckled awkwardly and didn't say anything. His wife tried to smooth things over, saying, "Don't mind your brother, just eat."
I continued, "Hmm, I'll have to remind everyone else later if anyone's lost their wallets. I bet you were out catching thieves last night." This
remark amused both my wife and Xiao C, and the atmosphere returned to normal. After lunch, because it was too hot, none of the three of us wanted to go out, so we went back to our room to play cards. The afternoon passed in this cheerful and lighthearted atmosphere.
We stayed another night in Guangzhou, and the travel agency's plan was to take the Guangzhou-Shenzhen high-speed train to Shenzhen the next day. The tourist train we had taken there was waiting for us in Guangzhou. That night, as we were going to bed, my wife recounted the whole story to me: Shortly after I left, Xiao C came to our room. At first, we chatted casually, and then the two of us played cards for a while. Later, Xiao C said, "My older brother told me before he left to massage your shoulders."
So, my wife obediently lay down on the bed, and Xiao C began massaging her shoulders and legs. The atmosphere became increasingly intimate, and my wife asked Xiao C, "What kind of girlfriend do you want in the future?"
Xiao C said, "I have a girlfriend now, but I just can't seem to find the right feeling, and it's unlikely we'll end up together after graduation."
My wife asked, "What kind of girlfriend do you want?"
Xiao C said, "I wish I could meet someone like you, sister." "
My wife said, 'Don't worry about that. You're very cute and excellent. You'll definitely meet a girl who's much better than your sister in the future. Your sister's too old now.'
A normal man in this situation would know exactly what to do next, so everything happened naturally…
The next day in the streets of Shenzhen, my wife, as if deliberately being mischievous, clung to Little C's arm. Little C looked at me nervously, terrified. The scene reminded me of the Big Bad Wolf hugging the Little Rabbit—except, the Big Bad Wolf wasn't him, but my wife. I deliberately said to my wife, 'You're just torturing a child.'
My wife said smugly, 'I'm happy to. He's my little brother; nobody can stop me.' " "
After a day in Shenzhen, we returned to Guangzhou and took an overnight train back. Xiao C went straight back to school. When we parted, my wife cried uncontrollably, making Xiao C tearful too. We gave him both our phone numbers and told him to contact us anytime if he needed anything. His home is very close to our city, and we told him he could visit during his holidays, and we'd be his tour guide.
On the train back, my wife sat alone on her berth, lost in thought. After a long while, she said to me, 'Honey, everything from the past seems like a dream now.'
I said, 'A nightmare or a beautiful dream?'
My wife said, 'I can't say for sure, but it's definitely not a nightmare.'
I thought for a moment and said, 'Isn't life itself a kind of dream? Like the story of Zhuangzi dreaming of being a butterfly: being a butterfly is a human's dream, but who can say that being a human is also just a butterfly's dream?' My
wife didn't say anything, just silently leaned against me. I patted her shoulder and said, 'Honey, I know you miss him. It's okay, there will be many more opportunities to see each other in the future.' " "
My wife said, 'Actually, I don't really miss him as a person, but I keep thinking about what happened these past few days. Even if I see him again, who knows if I'll still feel this way.'
I said, 'Don't worry, just let things happen naturally. Take it one step at a time. Don't worry, I'm here for you.'
After returning home and resting for two days, we spent those two days together in our own little world. After this trip, I found that my wife was even more dependent on me. As soon as I left her side for a while, she would immediately call out, 'Honey, what are you doing?'
Two days later, we went back to work, and life returned to normal.

(19)
In the following days, Xiao C kept in touch with my wife. They often exchanged some sweet or ambiguous text messages. When my wife and I were at home, we left our phones lying around, but I never looked at her phone, and she had no need to look at mine. Sometimes, while showing me the text messages Xiao C sent expressing his longing for her, my wife would ask me worriedly, 'Do you think we've ruined this child?'"
I said, "Don't worry about that. It's normal for him to be so passionate. However, you need to guide him properly and not let him get too involved, otherwise you'll really ruin him." When
they were on the phone, if I happened to be home, my wife would sometimes say to him, "Your brother's home, why don't you say a few words to him?"
On the phone, Little C still had a cheerful tone, saying, "Boss, you didn't bully my sister, did you?"
I said, "How could I? Do you think your sister is someone to be trifled with? It's good enough that she didn't bully me."
Then I heard him chuckle to himself on the other end of the phone. Occasionally, my wife would mischievously wink at me while saying to him on the phone, "Your brother's not home, tell me quickly, have you missed me?"
Then she'd make kissing sounds into the phone. I bet C was going crazy with excitement on the other end.
A few months passed, and C was about to have his winter break. One day, my wife came home from work and said, "Honey, C texted me saying he's transferring trains here and wants to see me alone, but he doesn't want you to know. What should I do? Should
I refuse him?"
I told my wife, "It's okay, it's all up to you. If you miss him, stay overnight, but don't go to a hotel, it's not safe. Let's go home. I'm going to my parents' house, which will be good time to spend with our daughter. You can tell C I'm on a business trip."
My wife immediately jumped up and down excitedly, hugging my neck. Then, feigning seriousness, he said, "You old geezer, look how much you've spoiled me."
I retorted, "Nonsense, you're my only wife, who else would I spoil if not you?"
Little C arrived in our city that morning, on a weekend. Since my wife had already told him I wasn't home, he called her from the train around 5 a.m. I lay drowsily beside her, listening to their intimate conversation on the phone. I reached out and touched my wife's private parts; they were already overflowing with desire. I crawled under her, parted her legs, and caressed her with my tongue.
My wife was excited, but she had to maintain a normal tone of voice. She could only alternately hook her legs around my body. After caressing her like this for a while, I returned behind my wife, guided my incredibly erect penis, and gently entered her from behind, slowly thrusting in and out, not too quickly, lest Little C hear her panting. My wife put the phone to her ear and under her head, freeing her hand to tightly grip my arm. Perhaps due to excessive excitement, I soon ejaculated.
Xiao C's train arrived at 7:00 AM. My wife promised to pick him up at the station. I drove her to the station, bought her a platform ticket, and explained some safety details. (Actually, there wasn't much to explain. My wife uses an IUD, and with a sunny boy like Xiao C, there was no need to worry about health issues; they didn't use a condom the first time.)
I planned everything for my wife: after picking up Xiao C, they would have a simple breakfast at a small restaurant, then go grocery shopping together and go home. If Xiao C hadn't rested well on the train, he could sleep at home, then they could cook together and enjoy a nice day together. He would stay at my house that night, and I would take him to his train home the next morning.
Watching my wife walk into the station, looking back several times, I turned and went back to my parents' house. My daughter was still angry when she saw me. She usually lives with her grandparents, partly because she's used to living with them since childhood, and partly because it's close to her school. So, she could only come back to my wife and me on weekends. But this weekend, I didn't let her come home, which made her very angry. I said to my daughter, "Don't be angry, Mommy has something to do, Daddy will stay with you. Where do you want to go today? I'll do whatever you want."
My daughter's anger turned to joy, and she started to make specific requests. Actually, children's requests are very simple, nothing more than KFC, McDonald's, and maybe a trip to the children's playground to play those games that seem to never get old.
Sitting on a park bench, I drank my beverage and watched my daughter laughing happily on the carousel. I started to think about these two most important women in my life. My daughter, with me by her side, was very happy at this moment; my wife, with my arrangements, was equally happy at this moment. Children have their way of playing, and adults have theirs. In fact, to some extent, aren't all loving couples, in each other's eyes, just like children?
I'm not saying this to imply that Xiao C is a tool for us to play with. From the beginning until now, my wife and I have always treated Xiao C with great respect. Of course, this respect is based on mutual respect. Our decision to withhold part of the truth from C was not out of deception, but entirely out of goodwill. He might not yet understand or accept this unconventional approach. I think that perhaps one day in the future, after ensuring he fully understands these things, we will tell him the truth.

(20)
Around noon, my wife called and asked, "What are you doing right now?"
I said, "I'm with a woman."
My wife said, "Are you tired of living?"
I said, "Are you even reasonable? You can set the whole mountain on fire, but I can't even light a candle?"
My wife said, "Seriously, don't just think about yourself, take your daughter out to play sometime."
I said, "Pah, you still remember your daughter? Don't worry, I'm taking her to the amusement park."
My wife said, "You old geezer, you call such a little kid a 'woman,' you're worse than an animal."
I said, "Stop joking, how's it going between you two? "
My wife said, "He's sleeping, he's been on the train for a day and a night, he's exhausted."
I said, "It's not just because of the train ride, is it? You two haven't done anything else?"
My wife retorted, "What do you think?"
I said, "I'm sure... " "We're like dry wood meeting a raging fire, we can't wait any longer."
My wife deliberately teased me, "You know that, why are you still asking? You're obviously an idiot."
I said to my wife seriously, "I'm not arguing with you anymore. If you two are bored at home, you can take him for a walk in the street, but remember, whatever you do, don't walk arm in arm in our neighborhood, or we're both doomed."
My wife said, "I know what to do, you're even more nagging than my dad."
I said, "That's really true, I am your spiritual father."
My wife said, "Honey, I miss you, what should I do?"
I said, "You're never satisfied, are you? You're always eating what's in your bowl while eyeing what's in the pot, eating from the pot while thinking about what's in your bowl."
My wife said, "It's not my fault, it's all because you spoil me..."
That evening, I went back to my parents' house. Not long after dinner, my daughter, who was tired from a long day, went to bed early. I chatted with my parents for a while. Then I went to the balcony and called home, but no one answered. I called my wife's cell phone again. The line was noisy; it turned out she and Xiao C were out having barbecue. I could tell she'd been drinking. My wife, being cunning, didn't forget to ask me, feigning concern, in front of Xiao C, "Honey, are you coming home on time tomorrow?"
I whispered, "What do you mean? Haven't you had enough fun yet?"
She said, "I miss you. Come home soon."
I said, "Don't stay out too late. Come home early."
She readily agreed.
The next day at noon, after a reluctant farewell to my daughter, I returned home. The house was spotless. My wife was watching TV on the sofa. When she saw me come in, she rushed over and hugged me, saying, "Let me check if my husband is missing any parts."
I swept her up in my arms, walked over, and tossed her onto the sofa, saying, "You've got it backwards. I should be checking if you're missing any parts."
My wife mischievously said, "It's impossible for me to be missing any parts. Maybe there's even an extra one."
I said, "Don't scare me. If you're really pregnant, you'll be the one suffering."
After saying that, I sat on the sofa, pinched my wife's nose, and said, "Tell me what naughty things you did yesterday?"
My wife said, "Don't even mention it. From the moment we got off the train, Little C started getting restless, and I couldn't stop him..."
It turned out that after the wife picked up Xiao C from the train, she suggested going for breakfast, but Xiao C said he had already eaten in the dining car, so the two went straight home. Upon entering the house, they started kissing and caressing passionately without even washing their faces. At the wife's insistence, they took a quick shower, and before they were even dry, they made love in the bathroom.
Then, back in bed, they did it a second time. Afterwards, they lay chatting, and Xiao C eventually fell asleep. During this time, the wife called me. Xiao C didn't wake up until almost dark, and the two went to a barbecue restaurant, ate barbecue, and drank a lot of alcohol. Back home, it was basically another sleepless night.
At this point, my wife walked to the computer desk, took out a CD, and said mysteriously, "Want to watch?"
I asked in surprise, "You recorded it?"
My wife said, "Yes, I recorded part of it tonight, but let's make it clear first, you can't laugh at me after watching it."
I said, "Did Little C say anything about you recording this?"
My wife said, "He was very worried that you would find out. He kept reminding me before he left, and I told him not to worry, I would hide it well."
I took the CD, turned on the computer, and inserted the CD. Scenes that made my blood boil appeared. This feeling was incomparable to any pornographic film, because the female lead in it was my beloved. At this moment, my wife quietly came over, knelt between my legs, and unzipped my pants. I stopped her and said, "Don't be naughty, I haven't washed yet."
My wife said, "I don't care, I don't mind."
After saying that, she resolutely took my penis into her mouth... Not long after, this intense stimulation made me ejaculate in my wife's mouth.
Afterwards, lying in bed, my wife nestled in my arms like a little bird. Perhaps because I was too tired last night, I soon fell into a deep sleep. Looking at my wife's unguarded and quiet face, a tender feeling rose from the bottom of my heart. At that moment, I truly felt that the woman in my arms was a part of me.

(Twenty-one)
Life described in words is a condensation of life, but real life is much more mundane than life condensed into words.
This matter passed just like that, and my wife and I returned to the smooth flow of life.
Afterwards, my wife and I would occasionally talk about that matter. But not about a specific detail of the process, but rather our psychological exchange about it. At first, my wife was still vaguely worried, afraid that it might cause me some harm. However, this worry soon disappeared. I would occasionally take out that DVD to watch, but only when my wife was not at home. I was also afraid that watching such things in front of her would put unnecessary pressure on her.
Men who have been married for a long time will have this feeling: women, in many ways, are more like small animals.
When she's being obedient, she can melt your heart; but when she's being unreasonable, she can often make you so angry you want to gag her, tie her up, and throw her out of sight. However, if you're truly good to her, this little creature will wag her tail and prance you most of the time.
But, one can't always maintain absolute tolerance and rationality. For example, a man might be overwhelmed by work during the day, and after getting home, he'll inevitably be thinking about how to deal with a scolding from his boss the next day. At this point, you might be in a low mood and not in the mood to play along with her antics. So, the problem arose: she could connect everything to her imagination, and the worst part was that whatever she thought of, she would start to believe it and spout nonsense, like, "Who are you trying to fool with that face? Is it because I gave Mom too much money last month, that you're upset?" There were
even more outrageous things: "Last night, I just mentioned having my mom come to our house, and look at you now, you're a mess. When you're old, your daughter will kick you out of the house too."
Once, I got a terrible scolding from my lousy boss during the day, and he scolded me for nothing... The reason for this was that the mistake had nothing to do with me; fundamentally, the responsibility lay with his misguided command. But rank trumps, and he pointed at me arrogantly in public, launching into a long, rambling speech, spitting all over my face. My head spun, and I yelled back, "You son of a bitch, don't talk back! Tomorrow I'm going to the provincial department and I'll fight you to the death! You shameless bastard, don't ever point at me again, or I'll chop your paws off and use them as a snack!"
These words enraged my unprepared superior, who plopped down in his chair. I turned and slammed the door shut, but because the window was open, the suction was too strong, and the glass shattered with a crash. This made things even worse; people from other offices rushed out to see what was going on. I stormed out of the office, my face cold, and went home. On the way, a colleague called my cell phone, and in my anger, I didn't hesitate to rip the battery out and throw it onto the back seat of my car.
Back home, my mind was filled with this terrible incident. As I calmed down, I started to feel a chill, because my boss was known for his arrogance. I thought: This time, I'm completely ruined. At first, my wife didn't notice my change in mood. After dinner, I sat alone in the living room, lost in thought. My wife finished washing the dishes and went to take a shower. When she came out, she squeezed onto the sofa, stretched her feet out onto my lap, and said, "Trim my toenails."
(It's been a habit for years; I've always trimmed my wife's fingernails and toenails.)
I looked at her toenails; they weren't long. I said to her, "Didn't you just trim them a couple of days ago? They're not long now, why trim them?"
My wife said, "Who said they're not long? My socks are already bursting."
Impatiently, I grabbed her foot and threw it off my lap. As a result, my unsuspecting wife plopped down on the floor. This was it; I wouldn't do anything else all night but appease her. I had to bow, kneel, kowtow, and even slap myself a few times—it didn't hurt much. She wouldn't let it go. Furious, I dressed and stormed out. My wife then called my parents, telling my dad, "Dad, your son went out with a rope, saying he's going to commit suicide."
My poor parents took a taxi to our house in the middle of the night, forcing me to perform the traditional bowing gesture again and swear I'd never bully her again. Only then did they leave reassured. After
they left, my wife looked smug and said, "You little rascal, you didn't go and kill yourself, huh?"
I ignored her and went to sleep in the small bedroom. She, too, seemed quite determined, ignoring me all night.
The next day, I went to work nervously, prepared to give up and fight to the bitter end.
Shortly after work started, my boss's secretary rushed into my office and said, "The boss wants to see you."
I secretly asked him, "What does he mean? Is he trying to mess with me?"
The secretary quickly waved his hand, "Don't ask me, you can't guess what the boss means."
I cursed, "Look at you, you're a complete dog."
Then I went to the boss's office. Things weren't as bad as I expected. That bastard saw me come in and pointed to the sofa, "Sit down and let's talk."
I obediently sat down, but crossed my legs, deliberately acting nonchalant. What the boss said next surprised me: "You really made me angry yesterday. You're just like my old dog temper."
—Only a fool wouldn't realize this was an attempt to make amends.
After this incident, the more I thought about it, the more I felt it wasn't worth it. Nothing was wrong at work, but my family was in complete chaos.
Sometimes when I'm acting all high and mighty at work, I often think to myself: Damn it, I wonder how these people would feel if they knew I was treated like a grandson at home.
Later, to avoid causing trouble for myself, I never dared to bring my bad mood from work home. In fact, as a responsible man, I really shouldn't bring my negative work emotions home. This doesn't solve any practical problems, but instead distracts my family. My job is different from my wife's. She can tell me about her trivial matters and ask me for advice, but she doesn't understand my job at all, and telling her would only cause more trouble.

(22)
Ever since I accidentally threw my wife off the sofa, she has often pouted and complained to me: "Old man, you always say you're my dad, what kind of dad hits his daughter?"
I could only explain again and again: "Honey, that wasn't hitting, and I didn't do it on purpose."
My wife and I have a lot of rational communication, but if only rationality remains between husband and wife, that's not a good thing. For example, my wife often shows an unreasonable face. Later I realized that many of her unreasonable behaviors are sometimes just deliberate coquetry, but sometimes they are due to inexplicable annoyance. This is perfectly normal. For example, as the advertisement says, "there are always a few days every month"—women experience inexplicable irritability during their menstrual cycle.
At this time, reasoning with her is useless; you can only soothe her without principle. Similarly, work-related frustrations are sometimes inexplicable. She can only vent to her closest loved ones. In this situation, you also can't and don't need to reason with her; you can only comfort her.
Some say that behind every successful man is a great woman. I think behind every lovely woman should also be a man who knows how to love. I have a major weakness, though in some ways it might not be considered a weakness: I can't bear to see women cry, whether it's my wife or someone else. Whenever I see a woman cry, I feel like crying along with her. I always feel that women are born to be cherished and loved by men. There are no unbeautiful women in this world; what's lacking is men's ability to appreciate and discover beauty.
When I told my wife these thoughts, she unreasonably said, "I'm touched by how you treat me, but if you treat other women like this, I think you're shameless."
When my wife was pregnant, she asked me many times, "Do you hope it's a boy or a girl?"
I answered without hesitation, "I hope it's a girl, but a boy is fine too."
However, my wife preferred a boy and suspected I wasn't telling the truth. A few months into the pregnancy, at my wife's insistence, we decided to go to the hospital to find out the baby's gender. Back then, ultrasound examinations to determine a baby's sex weren't as strictly prohibited as they are now. The female doctor who performed the ultrasound was an acquaintance of mine. After the examination, she said to us with a hint of regret, "It looks like a girl, but I'm not sure yet."
Hearing this, I jumped up excitedly and said, "Take another look, is it really a girl?"
The doctor looked at me with a puzzled expression and said, "That's rare. You're hoping for a daughter?"
I said, "Of course, but not a girl, but a princess."
Only then did the doctor say definitively, "No need for further examination, it's definitely a girl."
On the way home from the hospital, my wife said to me, "Now I believe you truly meant it when you said you hoped I would have a girl..."
Now I am fulfilling my promise from back then, both to my wife and daughter. Perhaps I haven't done enough, but I will not give up trying. Marriage is not a one-person show. When one party makes a mistake, the other must calmly look for the cause within themselves first. There is no love without a reason, nor is there hatred without a reason. Every event has a cause.
For example, a husband, when he finds out his wife has been unfaithful, anger is inevitable. But amidst anger, never forget to reflect. If your wife didn't love you, she wouldn't have married you in the first place. Even if she's temporarily given her love to someone else, if you still love your wife, the most important thing is to win that love back; don't give up easily. Regardless of which partner cheats, it's a fundamental error for a couple. But can we think about it this way: what if we loosen our existing principles? If we loosen the principles, wouldn't the nature of the mistake change from fundamental to general? —Principles are the least suitable topic between spouses.
As the song goes, "No rainbow without rain, no one succeeds easily."
Spouses are always the closest people in the world. In decades of marriage, each partner inevitably makes mistakes, such as infidelity. However, if you handle things properly, these painful experiences can be transformed into valuable assets. Tolstoy said, "Suffering is the teacher of life."
This teacher may be unconventional and hard for us to accept, but precisely because of this, it's all the more worthwhile to try.
— Magritte The opening paragraph of Marguerite Duras's *The Lover* has always deeply moved me, and I quote it here: "I am now quite old, and one day, in the lobby of a public place, a man approached me. After introducing himself, he said to me: 'I have always known you. Everyone says you were very beautiful when you were young, but I want to tell you that, in my opinion, you are more beautiful now than when you were young. Your former girlish face is far less appealing to me than your ravaged face today.'" "
—When you truly understand the meaning of this passage, you will be filled with confidence to walk hand in hand with your beloved wife through life. There is a painting I like in my bedroom: an elderly couple, frail and old, supporting each other as they stroll along a tree-lined path covered with fallen leaves. I think there is no more beautiful scenery in the world than this.
Now, let's continue the story about Xiao C.

(Twenty-three)
During Xiao C's winter vacation, he would often send his wife some text messages, mostly general greetings. However, if his wife replied with something slightly ambiguous, he would immediately become passionate again. The two would occasionally exchange sweet words on the phone, and sometimes the mushy things his wife said were things I had never heard before.
Once, I asked my wife, "What kind of feelings do you have for Xiao C?"
She said, "I can't really say. Sometimes, my longing for him is very intense. When I'm with him, I feel like I'm much younger."
I was a little jealous and said, "You haven't really fallen in love with him, have you?"
My wife said very honestly, "Yes, I have indeed fallen in love." However, this feeling is completely different from the feeling I have for you. I feel that this is all based on my love for you. Without you, all of this would just be a dream. Without you, I wouldn't have such deep feelings for him, and nothing would have happened.”
After saying this, my wife looked at me anxiously again: “Honey, do you think I'm a bad woman?”
I said: “Yes, you are definitely a bad woman, at least not a good woman in the traditional sense. However, I never intended for you to be a good woman.”
My wife punched me: “It's all because of you, you old hag, that you spoiled me so much…”
I hugged my wife and said: “Honey, we won't be good women. Let others be good women. We'll just be happy bad women.”
One night, I was lying in bed reading a book, and my wife was watching a movie alone on the computer in the study. Suddenly, my wife ran into the bedroom crying, her face covered in tears, which really startled me. I quickly asked: “What's wrong?”
My wife buried her face in my arms, not saying anything, but crying more and more sadly. I turned her face and asked her: “What's wrong? Tell me, I'm so worried.”
My wife choked back tears and said, "Honey, what if I can't find you in the next life?" I
breathed a sigh of relief and said, "This life isn't over yet, why are you worrying about the next life? Don't be silly."
My wife cried as she said, "No, you'll still be mine in the next life."
I quickly said, "Okay, okay, no problem, I promise you, I'll still be yours in the next life."
My wife continued, "Then, when we cross the Bridge of Helplessness, you're not allowed to drink that old woman's Meng Po soup."
I couldn't help but laugh, "Hey, I'm telling you, are you kidding me? You're over thirty years old, how can you still believe in that stuff?"
My wife said defiantly, "I don't care, you're not allowed to drink Meng Po soup."
I said, "Don't worry, you know I've never liked soup. When I'm about to die, just let me have a big feast of fish and meat, and bring me two braised pork knuckles, that'll be fine."
My wife said, "No, I want to die before you, otherwise no one will take care of me."
I said, "Oh, so you're really going to leave me all alone?"
My wife thought for a moment and said, "Then let's die together, hand in hand across the Naihe Bridge. You help me throw that wicked Meng Po off the bridge..."
I asked my wife curiously, "What movie did you watch just now that made you cry like that?"
My wife said, "It was 'My Left Eye Sees Ghosts,' starring Lau Ching-wan. It was so touching. The soul of a husband who died in an accident refused to cross the Naihe Bridge until he found a man who could take good care of his wife and arranged everything for her before he drank the Meng Po soup."
Later, I watched the movie when I had some free time. It was indeed a very touching Chinese version of "Ghost," even better than "Meteor Shower" from back then. I suggest that couples who haven't seen this movie should find it and watch it when they have the chance.

(Twenty-four)
A loving man should first and foremost be a responsible man. Speaking of which, I would like to recommend a novel to my friends here, called "Hold On for Me," by Wang Shuo. When I read this novel, I had just gotten married. The content sent chills down my spine; I wanted nothing more than to find Wang Shuo and beat him up for writing such a scoundrel's story.
Many people probably haven't read this novel, as it's not one of Wang Shuo's most famous works.
The plot goes something like this: A married man named Fang Yan introduces a girlfriend to his colleague Guan Shanping. When Guan Shanping arrives at the designated meeting place, the woman doesn't show up, but he does encounter another woman: Zhou Jin. This Zhou Jin is Fang Yan's wife. Their marriage is unhappy; although Zhou Jin deeply loves her husband, Fang Yan is always indifferent to her. Later, Guan Shanping encounters Zhou Jin several more times, and the two gradually fall in love.
One time, while Fang Yan is away on a business trip, Zhou Jin and Guan Shanping have sex. Throughout this ordeal, Zhou Jin is filled with deep remorse. She tries many times to end the relationship, but the persistent Guan Shanping refuses to give up. Finally, Zhou Jin made up her mind to end things completely with Guan Shanping. She invited Guan Shanping to her good friend Zhao Lei's house, but after meeting, Guan Shanping forcibly dragged Zhou Jin into the bedroom and had sex with her again without explanation. Afterwards, while cleaning herself up, Zhou Jin told Guan Shanping, "This is the last time. Let's not see each other again."
When the two left the bedroom, a terrible scene unfolded: Zhou Jin's husband, Fang Yan, sat in Zhao Lei's living room, his face ashen. While Zhou Jin and Guan Shanping were having sex in the bedroom, her husband was right outside the door!
Left with no choice, Zhou Jin had to accept the reality of divorce. Soon after, Zhou Jin married Guan Shanping, who had always deeply loved her. The two were very happy after their marriage, and a year later, they had a lovely daughter. One day, Guan Shanping asked Zhou Jin, "Do you know where we first met by chance? Who asked me to go there? — It was your ex-husband, Fang Yan."
Zhou Jin was utterly shocked: because it was Fang Yan who had invited her there.
It turns out that all of this was pre-planned by Fang Yan and Zhao Lei. Zhao Lei's goal was to get Fang Yan, and Fang Yan's goal was to get a divorce. However, after the divorce, Fang Yan didn't end up with Zhao Lei; he went alone to an unknown place and disappeared.
At the end of the novel, Zhou Jin, having learned the truth, tearfully tells her husband Guan Shanping, "They wanted to harm us, but they ended up benefiting us."
When I first read this novel, I had just gotten married, and it almost made me grind my teeth to dust. I couldn't understand how a husband could be such a scoundrel. After years of trials and tribulations, I finally understand the true meaning of that novel: A responsible man, when he no longer loves his wife, will do the following: When I no longer love you, I will arrange everything for you; when I have to leave you because I no longer love you, I will arrange everything for you; I will not leave until I have arranged everything for you; if I cannot ensure that my departure will make you happier, I will not leave.
—These words sound bleak, but they are also very moving. Just think, in real life, how many men can do this?
The sentence Zhou Jin says at the end of the novel is actually a major misunderstanding of her ex-husband, Fang Yan. However, the essence of this novel lies precisely in this, and I don't know if this was Wang Shuo's intentional arrangement. That being said, intentional or unintentional is not important; classics are mostly created unintentionally.
—If Zhou Jin can remain in a state of misunderstanding about her ex-husband, it will be more conducive for her to wholeheartedly love her current husband, Guan Shanping, and she will never have any lingering feelings for her ex-husband. Otherwise, if Zhou Jin realizes her ex-husband's true intentions, she will fall into longing for him, gratitude, and even self-blame for her past infidelity. From this perspective, Fang Yan is a truly responsible and loving man.

(Twenty-five)
Continuing with the story related to Xiao C.
Xiao C's winter vacation is about to end, and school will start soon. Our city is a necessary stop on his way back to school. Once, when my wife was on the phone with him, she handed the phone to me. I said to Xiao C, "You should leave home two days earlier than planned, so you can stay with us for a couple of days."
Xiao C declined, saying, "No need, you're all busy with work, that would be too much trouble for you."
I said, "It's okay, it would be best if you could come over on the weekend, but it's fine if it's not on the weekend, we can take time off."
Xiao C said, "Then I'll go over on the weekend, it doesn't matter if I go back to school a day earlier or later."
The night before Xiao C came, my wife was incredibly excited. She hid under the covers and secretly asked me, "Dad, you're home this time, can I have sex with him?"
I kissed that rascal and said, "Don't worry, Dad knows what he's doing, I'll give you the opportunity. I'll just pretend to be drunk, okay? Then you can sneak into the small bedroom, and you two can do whatever you want."
Hearing this, my wife immediately shrank under the covers and took my penis into her mouth. I was also extremely excited, I patted her little bottom, and she obediently turned over, and we caressed each other in a 69 position. As I kissed her lovely clitoris with my tongue, I even felt a desire to burrow inside her.
That night we made love twice, both times with great gusto. During the second climax, my wife was in tears—she always cried when she reached her peak, which always puzzled me. I told my wife, "I need to learn from the camel; once it's full, it can last for days. I can't do it for the next two days to avoid hurting your health."
Little C arrived the next day at noon; the journey was short, only a two-hour train ride. In the morning, my wife and I went to the market and bought a lot of groceries. At noon, I went to the station alone to pick up Little C and take her home. Little C pretended it was her first time visiting my house, and as soon as she entered, she praised my wife, "It's been so long! My older sister is still as charming as ever."
Then, he went from room to room, feigning surprise each time. For example, when he saw my bookshelf, he said, "Wow, buddy, you have so many books!"
I responded politely but secretly chuckled to myself, "What are you pretending for? You know this house just as well as I do."
After lunch, my wife and I drove Little C to some of our local historical sites, places Little C had actually visited before. My wife was still casually holding Little C's arm. I reminded her, "Try to be a little more serious. What will people think if they see this?"
My wife replied in her usual tone, "Tch, he's my brother, who cares?"
After the tour, we went home to prepare dinner. My wife cooked, and Little C helped out, cleaning the fish and preparing the vegetables. The two of them worked quite well. I lay in bed alone and called my daughter. I hadn't let her come home this weekend, which had made her furious. She repeatedly called me a "big bad wolf" and a "bastard dad" on the phone
. After I made many new promises, my daughter finally agreed to forgive me.
At dinner, I drank baijiu alone, while my wife and Xiao C drank beer. I deliberately tried to make small talk with Xiao C: "Kid, you were passing through here during winter break, why didn't you tell us?"
Xiao C stammered, "I texted my older sister beforehand, and she said you were on a business trip, so I went straight home."
I thought to myself: Good kid, you'll definitely be a complete scoundrel in the future, and you've already learned to lie without blushing.
During the meal, my wife pretended to be crazy because of the alcohol, and kept putting food into Xiao C's bowl. Judging from my intuition, my wife's feet were definitely not idle either; she was probably secretly teasing him under the table.

(Twenty-six)
After dinner, my wife cleaned up the dishes, and Xiao C and I sat in the living room drinking tea and watching TV, chatting idly. A little while later, my wife finished her work and sat down next to me. She said, "What kind of poison is that old man putting on the young man again?"
I said, "I can't take it anymore. I've drunk so much I can barely keep my eyes open. You watch TV with him for a while, I'm going to bed."
Before my wife could reply, Little C said understandingly, "You two have had a long day, go to sleep. I'll lie in bed and read a book."
After showering, I went back to the bedroom and lay in bed thinking about what was about to happen in the small bedroom. Recalling the many articles I'd read online about this kind of thing, I was surprised that I wasn't as excited as others described.
Soon after, my wife also came back from her shower, wearing her pajamas and slipping into bed. I reached out and touched her; she was naked underneath. I hugged my wife tightly and kissed her haphazardly. My wife whispered to me, "Honey, do you want it?"
I said, "Sweetie, no, let's go clean in a bit."
My wife said, "It's okay, I can wash again."
I pinched my wife's nose and said, "Spare me, you naughty thing, you almost killed me last night, do you think I'm made of iron?"
My wife held my penis and said, "Then I want to kiss it for a while."
I said, "Okay, you naughty thing."
Under my wife's stimulation, I soon couldn't control myself, rolled over and pinned my wife down. My wife laughed and said, "An iron man is born..."
Thinking that I would give this lovely woman under me to someone else in a while, I was exceptionally brave, and whispered in my wife's ear, "You lewd bastard."
Under my intense thrusting, my wife quickly reached orgasm, and then I ejaculated. Panting
, I got off my wife, this time I was really a little dizzy.
My wife hugged me and said, "Honey, if you meet a woman you really like, I'll allow you to fool around occasionally, but you have to let me know, and I'll help you choose."
I said, "Don't talk nonsense, the only woman I really like is you."
—These words came from my heart; I didn't mean to deliberately please my wife. I don't know why, but ever since I brought my wife back into my life, it really seems like my heart can't hold any other woman.
Moreover, I often can't help but compare other women's flaws with my wife's strengths, and the more I do this, the less desire I have to cheat.
We lay in bed like that, indulging in random, passionate moments, until it was late at night. I said to my wife, "Go on, honey, don't forget to wash up first."
My wife's eyes were a little red, and she obediently said, "Okay, I will. Wait for me, I'll be back in a bit."
I patted her cheek, "Sweetie, go on, don't make it seem like we're parting forever, I'll wait for you."
My wife got up, put on her pajamas, got out of bed, walked to the door, then came back, squatted by the bed, and said to me in a serious tone, "Dad, you have to wait for me to come back, you're not allowed to sleep, or I won't forgive you."
I lay on my side, face to face with my wife, and I knew very well that she was hiding her embarrassment, because this time was different from the previous two, after all, I was home. I said, "Stop pretending, are you in a hurry? Hurry up and go, stop nagging, you greedy cat."
My wife blushed, stood up, and put one leg on the bed as if to get in, saying, "Old man, you're mocking me, I'm not going."
I pulled back the covers and said, "That's great, don't go, I regret it now."
Hearing this, my wife turned and ran barefoot out of the bedroom. A little while later, the sound of running water came from the bathroom.

(Twenty-seven)
After a few minutes, the water stopped, and I heard the soft sound of a door closing. Then, everything returned to calm in the night.
I lay alone in bed, unable to sleep, imagining two people in another room having a passionate encounter. Thinking of this, I got out of bed and gently opened the door a crack. It was still quiet all around, with only the occasional sound of a car in the distance. I thought about sneaking over to eavesdrop, but then I thought better of it, what if I accidentally made a noise? So, I went back to bed and lay down again. A moment later, I heard my wife's suppressed yet rapid moans coming from the other end of the line. They had just begun.
Although I was mentally prepared, and I considered myself to have excellent composure, these sounds still triggered a sudden surge of jealousy. This was different from watching the video last time; what was recorded was, after all, a thing of the past. But now, this was happening right now.
In that instant, I was overwhelmed with regret. It felt as if I had pushed my beloved woman out the door, as if I had suddenly lost something most precious. Jealousy, remorse, and loss surged through me. I felt as if I would never see my wife again in this life, as if we had parted forever. I felt like I was sinking rapidly into an abyss. My wife's moans still faintly lingered…
Suddenly, tears streamed down my face like a burst dam. At that moment, I felt utterly wronged, and I desperately wanted to sob in my wife's arms.
I was in a daze, lost in thought for what seemed like forever, when I heard the sound of running water from the bathroom again. I knew they were done. Coming to my senses, I quickly grabbed some tissues and wiped the tears from my face. A moment later, my wife quietly came in. She silently got into bed and hugged me, asking, "Dad, are you asleep?"
I said, "No, honey."
My voice startled both of us. Perhaps because I had been crying for so long, my voice sounded strange, like I had a cold. My wife turned on the bedside lamp and looked at me with a look of alarm: "Honey, you've been crying?"
I couldn't hold back any longer. I buried my face in my wife's arms, tears streaming down my face once more. I choked out, "Darling, do you not want me anymore?"
My actions immediately made my wife cry too. She held my head, repeatedly whispering, "I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry, baby. It's all my fault. I'll never do it again..."
At that moment, I just curled up in my wife's arms, silently weeping.
After a long time, my emotions finally calmed down a bit. I said to my wife, who was watching me with fear and anxiety, "Darling, it's not your fault, I was just overthinking. For a moment, it felt like we were separated by life and death."
My wife said, "Silly child, how could I leave you? You are more important than my own life."
I said, "I know, but when I heard your voice over there, I really couldn't control myself, it felt like I fell into an abyss."
My wife cried again, saying, "I'm sorry, darling, I hurt you, I'll never do it again.
Think about what I've done... Don't be sad, darling. No matter what, you will always be my only one."
That night, we didn't sleep a wink, just held each other, recalling again and again our journey from meeting, falling in love, to getting married, and all the ups and downs we've experienced in our marriage. By then, I had completely calmed down.
I calmly asked my wife, "Honey, how did you feel when you were with him?"
She said, "I'm not lying to you at all. I always felt like he was you from over ten years ago. When I was with him, all I could think about was you. It felt like I traveled back in time to our past."
Then, filled with apology, she said, "Darling, I was so selfish, I ignored your feelings. I'll never do that again."
Looking at her pitiful face, tenderness welled up in my heart again. I said, "Don't say that. I'm just occasionally feeling down, that's normal. I care about you so much, and I'm afraid of losing you, that's why I reacted this way. Don't worry, I can adjust."
Afterwards, whenever I thought of my wife's "time tunnel," I felt a sense of relief—yes, if a time tunnel truly existed in reality, none of us would refuse to return to our youth, to prevent all the mistakes from happening again, and to make all the perfections even more perfect.
But this real-world time tunnel doesn't exist. However, while a real time tunnel doesn't exist, a virtual one can be created through our efforts. For example, my wife could bask in the deep affection that had grown between us over time, and at the same time, she could travel back to our past through that virtual time tunnel. What a wonderful thing that was! Who would refuse such a beautiful thing? For my wife, Xiao C was that virtual time tunnel. When I understood this, all my inner knots untied, and my gloomy mood vanished instantly.

(Twenty-eight)
The next morning, my wife and I got up early. Although we hadn't slept all night, we were highly energetic.
Xiao C hadn't gotten up yet, either because he wasn't fully awake or because he felt guilty about what he'd done the night before and was too embarrassed to come out.
My wife made breakfast and asked me to go wake him. The sound of the door opening startled Xiao C awake. I said, "Get up and eat! Why are you sleeping in so late?"
Then I turned and went back to the table. A little while later, Xiao C came over, yawning repeatedly. I teased him mischievously again, "You weren't out burgling again last night, were you? Why are you so sleepy?"
My comment startled C, who was yawning, and he chuckled as he sat down to eat breakfast.
During the meal, I said to him, "Later, I'll have your sister take you to the mall. She's been wanting to buy you a pair of shoes.
I won't go with you; I have to see my precious daughter."
C declined, saying, "No need, I have plenty of shoes."
I said, "Nonsense, even if you have a lot of shoes, which pair did we buy? You think shoes are cheap? You want a laptop, dream on."
C chuckled again, "I have a laptop too."
I said to him, "The important thing isn't the shoes, it's a reward for your thoughtfulness towards women. Your sister has kept the shoes you bought in Zhangjiajie; she can't bear to throw them away. Look at your taste! Those shoes are awful." My wife hit
me with her chopsticks, "You're like a used tool, discarding its work! You don't remember... " "What a huge problem those shoes solved!"
I continued to say to Little C, "Little donkey, don't worry, I won't kill you. Be secretly happy, you traded a cheap pair of shoes for a high-end pair, that's the benefit of being considerate of a woman."
Little C said, "Then I'll gladly accept, but don't try to fool me with cheap stuff, I have high standards."
I said, "Don't worry about that, I'll buy you a cheap pair to wear, when we go back to school and tell our classmates, we'll be too embarrassed."
After breakfast, I drove them to the mall entrance, watching them walk into the mall together, I thought to myself, Little C is probably secretly happy about me: the reward for being considerate of a woman is more than just a pair of high-end shoes, even the woman being considered for is rewarded. Thinking of this, I felt very moved: young man, you don't understand the mystery here. As the saying goes: the mantis stalks the cicada, unaware of the magpie behind it, behind the magpie is a person with a bow and arrow, and behind the person is a ditch. This is real life, and real life is never as simple as 1+1=2.
Back at my parents' house, I took my daughter to KFC in the morning, then to the bookstore to buy her some extracurricular books she liked. In the afternoon, I had a nice nap at my parents' house. Near dusk, my wife called: "Why aren't you home yet?"
I sleepily replied, "I fell asleep. Don't worry, I'll be right back."
My wife said, "Come back quickly, they're waiting for you to eat."
My parents had already prepared dinner, and I had to pretend to eat some so as not to disappoint them. After dinner, I played with my daughter for a while longer before leaving my parents' house.
As soon as I walked in the door, Little C showed off his newly bought shoes to me: "Hey buddy, aren't you jealous? They cost over a thousand yuan!"
I said dismissively, "It's like a poor man getting a piece of gold. A pair of shoes costing just over a thousand yuan, and you're this excited."
Little C said, "Hey buddy, are you kidding me? I'm a poor student. How many poor students can afford such expensive shoes?"
—Don't let Little C's words fool you. He is a student, but not poor. His parents are both civil servants; while not extremely wealthy, they are certainly not poor. Moreover, they only have one son, otherwise, why would they have spent several thousand yuan last summer to send him on a tour back to school? However, even if they weren't poor, there might not have been a need to buy such expensive shoes for their child. From this perspective, Little C's excitement was genuine.
After dinner, we watched TV for a while, then washed up and went to bed. Lying in bed, I asked my wife, "What did you two do today?" My wife said, "After buying the shoes, I went to the bookstore with Little C, and then we came home."
I teased her, "What did you do at home this afternoon? Did you do anything naughty?"
My wife said, "I swear, no."
This puzzled me, so I asked, "Why? How could you two resist?"
My wife playfully said, "Because we were so busy doing good deeds that we didn't have time to do anything naughty."
I couldn't help but laugh at my wife's antics and asked, "How many times did you do good deeds?"
My wife thought for a moment, tilted her head, and said, "Once."
I continued to ask, "Only once?"
My wife thought for a moment and said, "Twice."
I pressed on, "Only twice?"
My wife started acting up again, counting on her fingers one by one, and then said to me, "Dad, can I borrow your foot for a moment? I don't have enough fingers and toes."
I got up, grabbed my wife's foot, and started tickling her soles, which was what my wife feared most, and she begged for mercy.
Actually, after they came home from the street, they only made love once, and then my wife went to sleep because she hadn't slept all night and was very tired. My wife originally wanted to sleep with Xiao C, but Xiao C was very afraid that I would come back unexpectedly. Although my wife told him that I would definitely call before I came back, Xiao C was still worried. So my wife slept alone, and Xiao C came over several times to kiss or bite my wife to wake her up. This naughty behavior made my wife helpless.
My wife said to me, "I'm increasingly finding that this kid is just like you back then."
This is true. When my wife and I first got married, I also often bit my wife to wake her up while she was sleeping.
I asked my wife, "Are you coming over tonight?"
She said, "No, I'm going to sleep with my husband."
I said, "It's okay, you can come if you want, or you can come after I fall asleep, it's up to you."
In the middle of the night, as I turned over in my sleep, I felt that my wife wasn't beside me. A thought flashed through my mind: That greedy cat has run away again. Then, I fell asleep again. I
slept very well that night, and I woke up just as dawn was breaking. My wife was sleeping peacefully beside me. I couldn't help but go up and kiss her. My wife opened her eyes, looked at me, mumbled, "You're so annoying..." and then went back to sleep.
In the morning, we went to the station together to see Xiao C off. As the train was about to leave, my wife naturally waved to him. Recalling how my wife cried her eyes out the first time we parted, I smiled to myself and a strange thought popped into my head: This child has grown up...

(Twenty-nine)
Xiao C left, and my wife and I returned to our peaceful life. My wife and he still communicated by text message or phone. I reminded my wife, "You need to be careful. Don't let him get too involved, or we'll be doing something really wrong."
My wife said, "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. Besides, he's much more mature than you think."
I thought about it again, and it made sense. Last year, my wife treated him like an immature child, while I treated him like a mature adult. But the reality had unknowingly reversed: my wife treated him like an adult, while I treated him like a child.
One day after work, I walked in the door and saw my wife's shoes by the door, knowing she had come home before me. However, there was no sign of cooking. I called out, "Honey, what are you doing?"
My wife's voice came from the study, a little flustered: "Nothing much, just looking up some information on the computer."
I went into the study, and my wife was frantically closing a webpage. I said, "You naughty thing, what are you looking up about anti-pornography stuff?"
My wife covered up, saying, "What nonsense are you talking about? I'm just looking up something I need for work."
I went to the computer, and the CD containing her and Xiao C's romantic moments had clearly been moved. I reached for the disc and asked my wife, "Is this your job?"
My wife blushed and ran out of the room, leaving behind the words, "I'm not talking to you anymore, you boring old man..."
I sat down at the computer, opened Internet Explorer, and checked my browsing history. Some sensitive words popped up: 3P, couples having sex...
My wife ran to the kitchen to cook. I followed her in, hugged her from behind, and asked, "Honey, are you thinking about Xiao C again?"
My wife struggled and said, "No way, he's only been gone a few days and I'm already missing him."
I said, "If you're not missing him, why are you watching a disc?"
My wife said, "No, I'm just looking for other discs... " I moved the disk to a different location.
"You silly girl," I said to my wife, "remember next time. After logging into sensitive websites, don't forget to clear your browser history. It doesn't matter at home, but you absolutely must remember when using the work computer."
My words startled my wife, who asked, "How did you know I logged into sensitive websites?"
I said, "Don't you know there's a history section in Internet Explorer?"
Hearing this, my wife quickly pulled my hand and led me to the study, anxiously saying, "Tell me quickly, how do I check?"
Back at the computer, I opened the history, and all the websites she had just browsed were clearly displayed. My wife blushed deeply with embarrassment. I asked, "Did you log onto those websites using the work computer?"
My wife said, "No, absolutely not. The work computer is always for work."
I said, "Then it's alright, honey, don't worry."
My wife still seemed a little shaken, saying, "Looks like I'll have to take a computer training course tomorrow. I still don't know what that history button does. It's really scary."
I said, "Hehe, when you were having computer training at work, you skipped class to take our daughter shopping. Now you know you were wrong, right?"
That evening, sitting on the sofa watching TV, I suddenly remembered the websites she had visited during the day, so I asked her, "Why did you think of looking up articles about threesomes?"
My wife said, "Nothing, just browsing."
I asked, "You were thinking about it?"
My wife flatly denied it, then snuggled closer to me and said, "Lately, I've been having this thought a lot about finding you another woman, and I feel like I'm doing you a disservice."
I put an arm around her and said, "Honey, there's nothing to be ashamed of. My foolishness is over. You need to get rid of that thought. Those tricks of you young people are just old..." "I'm not interested in that at all,"
my wife said. "Or, how about we seduce your female classmate sometime?"
I said, "Don't be so shameless. Stop eyeing respectable women."
My wife retorted, "Hmph, she's respectable. Otherwise, would she be ruining my husband?"
I said, "Don't be disgusting. Your husband is a pure young girl. 'Ruining' him? Anyone who hears that will laugh their heads off."
My wife said, "Of course. In my eyes, my husband is a pure young girl."
I pushed her away and said, "You bad thing, you want to play with men?" "What's this 'love' thing? Are you asking for a beating?"
My wife chuckled and leaned closer. "Dad, I just feel bad for you."
I said, "Sweetie, don't be naughty. Don't overthink it. I'll tell you when I really meet a woman I like."
Hearing this, my wife started being unreasonable again: "You old rascal, you're not allowed to like anyone else!"
I said, "Look, look, it's you to me, it's you to me. In your eyes, I'm like a turtle on a chopping board—whether I stick my head out or not, I'll die."
My wife laughed: "Just kidding, don't take it seriously, you little rascal."
When I went to sleep, I lay in bed and slowly thought about these things. I found that things were developing in a positive direction, and much better than I had originally expected. At least, my wife's happiness now was genuine. She went to and from work happily every day, and when she had free time, she would look at a bunch of fashion magazines to study the styles of her clothes. She was also not as easily agitated with our daughter as before. Faced with these subtle changes in my wife
, I felt that my goal had been achieved.

(30)
Summer was approaching, and the weather was gradually becoming warm. One evening, after dinner, my wife and I sat on a bench in the community's leisure garden, watching couples strolling around us. Not far away, several children were playing together. I said to my wife, "Honey, what do you think people around us would think if they knew about us?"
My wife thought for a moment and said, "I can't imagine, it's terrifying. I bet many women, while secretly envying me, would still verbally call me shameless, and many men would laugh at me for being a slut. In the end, we'd be drowned in spittle."
I said, "When facing reality, I often feel disoriented, like I'm in the Two-Faced Kingdom of 'Flowers in the Mirror'."
My wife said, "Perhaps our behavior really is too unconventional. Let alone others not accepting it, even a few years ago, if I heard about this, I wouldn't have been able to accept it, let alone imagine it happening to me."
I said, "Forget it, let's not think about it so much. Simplicity is happiness, and happiness is simplicity. As long as we're happy, who cares what others think? I'll spoil you like this for the rest of my life, no matter what."
Sometimes, I really don't understand those who criticize us. Their behavior is very similar to bringing someone else's coffin to their own home to cry over. For example, there are often people who point fingers at others' lifestyles, even though those people haven't harmed or bothered them. This is like sitting at home when a stranger suddenly bursts in, angrily pointing his finger at you and saying, "Your posture is bad. You need to change to a more dignified posture, or I can't stand it."
—Hey, who told you to stand it? It's my own home, why should you tell me how I sit? So, with this kind of person, you don't need to reason with them; just stand up and kick them out the door.
We often hear things like this in the public media, such as when condemning the United States, saying, "This is a multipolar, pluralistic world, and different ideologies should be allowed to coexist."
—Leaving aside whether Saddam Hussein truly deserved a beating, most people would agree with the idea of coexisting ideologies. If Christianity tried to eliminate Islam, that would be wrong. At the very least, everyone should just do their own thing, and nobody should bother anyone else.
A healthy society should also be multipolar and pluralistic. For example, the wealth gap. A large wealth gap isn't inherently terrible. For example, in the United States, is the wealth gap large compared to that of an average unemployed American? The US is a very large country, yet American society is remarkably stable. A crucial, and perhaps only, reason for this is that, in addition to the extremes of wealth and poverty, there exists a third pole: the middle class. This largest group maintains social stability.
Take China, for example. If China only had extreme wealth and poverty—with some people incredibly rich and others desperately poor—it would be disastrous. The most important thing for a nation is not to eliminate the wealth gap, but to find a way to quickly create a third pole between the rich and the poor: a large group that is neither extremely wealthy nor impoverished, serving as the backbone of society. This is a vital element for a stable society.
Zhong Xiang was the first in China to call for "equalizing wealth and status," and over eight hundred years later, no country in the world has achieved this. Every country that has attempted to force this has ultimately ended up with "equalizing poverty and status."
The reason I've said so much is to ultimately lead to our topic: the behavioral patterns of people in a diverse society.
In a healthy, diverse society, various behavioral patterns should coexist, but with one prerequisite: they must not harm the interests of others. The world is not simply a matter of right and wrong; many actions fall into the gray areas between the two. There's an important principle in criminal law: "No act is a crime unless expressly defined by law."
So, can we say that "an act that does not harm others is not wrong"? I believe this is absolutely correct.
If someone's behavior does not harm you or the public interest, even if you don't understand it and therefore cannot accept it, unless someone forces you to understand or accept it, you have no right to condemn, ridicule, or oppose it. Otherwise, it's like barging into someone's house and forcing the homeowner to sit properly—a very obnoxious act. If you feel indignant about this, it's like bringing someone else's coffin to your own home to cry over—absurd and foolish.
For example, I cannot accept sadomasochistic (S/M) behavior, nor can I accept homosexual behavior. However, I do not consider those behaviors abnormal, nor do I believe they should be condemned.
For example, regarding S/M, through Academician Li Yinhe's analysis, we know that it's actually a very normal behavior, similar to consensual sex. Some people experience intense sexual pleasure from being the abuser, while others experience intense sexual pleasure from abusing the other person. It's their private affair, and it has nothing to do with you, an outsider. Unless an S enthusiast takes a whip into the street or breaks into your home to forcibly whip you, or a M enthusiast kneels and begs you to whip them, it's not your place to think it's abnormal. Let me repeat: it's none of your business. It's like how I really dislike eating stinky tofu, but I don't think it's perverse for others to like it. On the contrary, those who, because they dislike stinky tofu, condemn others for eating it as wrong are the truly perverse.
Yesterday, I saw a post in the discussion forum about "a lone flower standing out," and a friend named xiehou commented brilliantly. Here's an excerpt: "First of all, let me clarify that I don't approve of, and will never, engage in such activities (this is a personal choice, and there's no disdain or contempt involved), but I will respect other people's lifestyles. Society is moving forward, and individual space and rights will gradually be recognized and respected by others. The ancient saying, 'Do not do to others what
you would not have them do to you,' perfectly captures this." —If everyone thought this way, would those absurdities still exist?
Whether globally or specifically in China, S/M, homosexuality, group sex, etc., are still, in relative proportion, a very, very small group. I really don't understand why these moral guardians are so frightened.
In contemporary China, although many people spout benevolence and morality, loudly praising unwavering fidelity, there's one fact we absolutely cannot ignore: truly lifelong faithful couples are extremely rare. I'm not exaggerating when I say that the number of truly faithful couples is even smaller than the number of couples participating in such activities. Many couples choose deception, fooling both themselves and others; otherwise, brothels wouldn't proliferate despite bans.
Look around us—friends, colleagues—how many are truly faithful? How many of your colleagues are secretly having affairs? How many of your friends haven't frequented prostitutes? Do you know? —Because such things happen so often, we've become numb, and few people find it abnormal. It's like a political arena where corruption is rampant; everyone is corrupt, and no one laughs at anyone else.
Everyone considers it normal. But is it really normal? To think that Chinese people, who often boast of traditional virtues, have stooped to maintaining a facade of fidelity based on deception, to think of those self-righteous moral exemplars who can return home and openly face their wives—is this laughable, or is it heartbreaking?
Returning to the topic of couples engaging in casual sex, if a couple can willingly accept this approach through honest communication, and genuinely feel it's better than each going out to seek pleasure while maintaining a facade of morality, and then, with another couple sharing the same sentiment, and on the premise of mutual attraction and affection, they lock themselves in their home and have sex together, what does it have to do with outsiders? What interests of yours are harmed? What interests of the public are harmed? If you actively go to someone's house to peek through a crack in the door and then yell that you can't stand it, are you just being silly? I think this behavior is not only boring, but also truly perverted; that's the real perversion.

(Thirty-one)
Time flies so fast. In two more months, we will have known Xiao C for a full year. Many things that have happened in this year have been enough to make us re-examine our lives, thus gaining a deeper understanding and experience of life, family, and love.
After this semester, Xiao C will end his student days and begin his journey into society. My wife and I had asked him about his plans after graduation, and he had nonchalantly replied, "I haven't thought about it yet, I'll see."
A couple of days ago, he texted my wife saying he planned to come to our city after graduation. This idea had worried me a lot, not so much about anything else, but mainly because I was afraid he would become too deeply attached to my wife and end up hurting himself. If that happened, my wife and I would be truly committing a terrible sin.
One evening, I called him again to ask about his plans after graduation. He said, "It's basically settled now, I'm going back to XX city (note: our hometown)."
I asked him, "Why did you choose this city?" He
said, "I originally planned to go to Beijing or Shanghai, but it's too far from my parents, and they strongly disagreed. Besides, it's not easy to establish oneself in such a big city, so I finally decided to come back to XX city, which is not far from home."
Then, he added with a grin, "Isn't that great? I'll be close to my older siblings, and I can see you anytime."
His explanation eased my anxiety considerably.
One evening near the end of June, while having dinner with my wife at home, she said to me, "Little C texted me today saying that since this is his last summer vacation, he's not planning to come home yet. He wants to go directly to Mount Emei for a few days before returning."
I said, "Oh, that's normal. After starting work, there's not much free time."
My wife didn't say anything more.
After dinner, my wife was alone in front of the computer, usually playing Go or cards in the game room at this time, or occasionally watching a movie. When I went to the study to find a book, I found my wife browsing a website about tourist attractions, specifically an overview of the Mount Emei scenic area. I joked, "What are you doing? Want to go to Mount Emei too?"
My wife said, "Hehe, just looking around."
That night, before going to bed, my wife nestled in my arms and suddenly asked me, "Dad, if I wanted to go to Mount Emei, wouldn't you be angry?"
I didn't react immediately, "Go to Mount Emei? I've been so busy lately, how could I have time to go to Mount Emei with you?"
My wife stammered, "Then, I'll go by myself." Only then did I realize what she meant, and I grabbed
her ear, "Huh? You little rascal, you're getting more and more ridiculous, aren't you? You want to fly away with your lover and wander the world? Are you trying to drive me crazy?"
My wife seemed a little nervous and quickly said, "I was just saying, Lao Dengpao, why are you so anxious?"
I thought for a moment and said to her, "Don't be nervous. It's not that I don't want you to go. I don't worry about you; I'm worried about him. After all, he's still young. If you let him get too deeply involved, it'll ruin him."
My wife said, "Okay, okay, that shows you're rational. I'll listen to you and not go, okay?"
My wife quickly fell asleep, but I kept thinking about it. It wasn't that I didn't want my wife to go with him alone; on the contrary, I felt that if I let her go, it would show that I was being selfish. After all, Xiao C isn't a true adult yet. Society and life are still a blank slate for him. In the future, he will have his own lover and family. If this incident causes him a bad shadow, the harm could be unexpected.
For example, Spielberg's films "Saving Private Ryan" and "Band of Brothers" are classic and powerful works that reflect on war, but children cannot accept those bloody scenes.
It's going too far to let a group of children watch this and try to get them to accept these things.
But when I think of my wife's inner desires, I can't help but soften. Looking at my wife sleeping peacefully beside me, I recall the days when we were dating. Back then, we often dreamed of traveling together, but due to financial constraints, it was all just a dream. Now, we're better off financially, but it seems we can't find that same impulsiveness anymore. Before falling asleep, I vaguely made up my mind: I'll agree to my wife's request and let her take the time tunnel back to the past. As for other concerns, we'll deal with them later. As the saying goes, there's always a way out...

(32)
At this point, some people might question: Aren't you portraying yourself as too noble? It's understandable to think of your wife in every way, but to think of your wife's lover in every way seems a bit too far-fetched, doesn't it?
Don't worry, let me explain. Regarding Little C, rather than thinking of him, it's actually for our own sake. I want to make sure I have the initiative in this game. However, if Xiao C gets too deeply involved and can't extricate himself, it could ultimately hurt his wife and even jeopardize our family, which I absolutely cannot allow.
The next morning, looking at the sunlight streaming through the window, I suddenly regretted it again. To be honest, I haven't reached a state of complete selflessness yet; I need more time to consider this. Thinking about it now, I feel quite frightened. Luckily, I didn't let the ambiguous atmosphere of the previous night cloud my judgment and hastily agree to my wife's request. In
the following days, my wife didn't mention it again, and neither did I. However, a faint impulse lingered within me, and many times I almost agreed to my wife's request. One evening, I casually asked my wife, "Do you really want to go to Mount Emei?"
Without hesitation, she replied readily, "I really don't want to anymore. I just mentioned it casually the other day, don't take it to heart."
I said, "Actually, I don't know what I'm thinking either. From your perspective, I really want you to go, but this matter makes me very uneasy. To be honest, I still can't bear to leave you."
My wife leaned in and hugged my arm, saying, "Honey, I understand. I went too far. Please don't take it to heart, or I'll feel terrible."
I kissed her, "Sweetie, don't blame me."
She playfully pinched my nose, "Alright, what's there to explain? I know it's because you care about me. I've said it many times, I went too far."
I stared blankly at the white wall opposite, hesitant to speak. After a long while, my wife leaned on my shoulder and said softly, "Honey, was I too demanding?"
I hugged her, "Don't talk nonsense, it's not that serious."
That night, lying in bed, I couldn't sleep again. Re-examining my wife's desire to travel alone with her lover, I felt increasingly uneasy. I kept asking myself: Have I really spoiled my wife too much?
The situation has unfolded as follows: First, my wife only had a crush on C, but with my encouragement and planning, they had a physical relationship. At this point, my wife was either refusing or half-heartedly accepting. Second, I voluntarily left home, leaving the entire house to my wife and her lover, which she readily accepted. Third, when I was home, I also provided her with opportunities to secretly engage in such behavior, even with my knowledge. By this time, she was overjoyed.
And now? My wife has actually suggested a solo trip with her lover, escalating the excitement step by step. How is this any different from drug addiction? What will be the outcome? Will there be a result or no result? After experiencing increasingly intense stimulation, will she be able to return to her original, peaceful life?
I believe that when someone loves their partner to a certain degree, they can enter a state of complete selflessness. I've already done that to my wife. I think, at least in China today, there aren't many men who can spoil their wives like I have. However, although I am certain I will not lose my wife, and although I am certain this family will not be destroyed, if my actions result in her becoming increasingly addicted, like a drug addict, wouldn't that not only harm her but also myself?

(33)
Some say, "Daytime belongs to life, nighttime belongs to existence," which makes a lot of sense. Under the sun, we are forced to be like a wound-up second hand, exhausted from the hustle and bustle of life, exhausted from the self-deception we wear out of helplessness or instinct; then, when night falls, people are more likely to fall into a deeper reflection on the true nature of life. If life is described as a protracted and never-ending struggle, then during the day we fight with others, and at night, we fight with ourselves.
I often get caught up in some inexplicable emotions, pondering some perhaps meaningless questions, such as, who am I, what do I really want, is what I have now what I want, and so on. During the day, facing the chaotic and disorganized work, and dealing with colleagues or strangers, I often appear overly rational, sometimes even bordering on cold-blooded. But at night, when I hold my wife, who is like a soft, limp animal in my arms, I feel as if I melt away completely.
I can understand why King You of Zhou indulged Bao Si so excessively. I can say with certainty that if I were the emperor, I would be an even more despicable ruler than King You. I can also understand the Duke of Windsor, who loved beauty more than his kingdom. I would have done the same. What is the meaning of a cold, hard throne if one cannot be with the one they love?
Often, my sense of right and wrong deviates far from the norm. Many incompetent rulers who are bad at governing are, in my eyes, model men, such as Emperor Huizong of Song and Li Yu. I often think that it's not their fault for not governing well; the fault lies in placing them in the wrong position. Otherwise, Zhao Jie might have become another romantic talent surpassing Tang Bohu, while Li Yu could have leisurely cruised West Lake with Xiao Zhouhou, instead of "fleeing in haste on the day of his departure from the temple, while the court musicians still played farewell songs."
The biggest difference between humans and animals is that humans understand deep thinking, but I don't know whether this deep thinking is a good thing or a bad thing for marriage or family. People who think deeply understand how to manage their marriages, and this management is a deliberate act.
Conversely, if we think about certain animals, we are deeply moved by many of their instinctive behaviors. For example, swans and red-crowned cranes are two very strange animals; they can remain faithful to their mates to the end under the control of instinct, and when one dies, the other will live alone until the end—something humans find very difficult to do.
Once, my wife and I were watching TV when a seemingly ordinary program almost brought us to tears: a news report told the story of an animal—a white domestic duck that had been secretly taken to a zoo and abandoned by its owner. Luckily, the duck met and fell in love with a wild duck in the park's river. Curious park staff secretly recorded many scenes of the two ducks playing happily.
However, as the weather turned cold, tragedy struck: the wild ducks migrated south, and the domestic duck's lover was no exception. The wild duck repeatedly flew into the sky, only to be called back time and again by its lover's mournful cries. The weather grew colder and colder, and the two ducks clung to each other in despair. The wild duck continued its efforts to fly away, circling and calling to the domestic duck each time, trying to beckon its mate to take flight as well. The poor domestic duck could only flap its vestigial wings in vain, watching its companion in the sky, running desperately on the ground, while the wild duck, unwilling to leave, repeatedly returned to the ground.
The river froze over, and if the wild duck didn't leave, it would face death. So, the wild duck finally flew away, filled with despair. From then on, the domestic duck mourned every day in the direction its mate had flown.
These scenes were all recorded by the staff with a DV camera. This program made my wife cry buckets of tears, and she planned to call the TV station or park to adopt the poor domestic duck, but because it was in a very far place, she ultimately gave up (I think this happened in Nanjing). In the following days, my wife repeatedly asked me, somewhat naively, "Honey, you won't fly away like that wild duck, will you?"
I teased her, "Don't worry, I won't fly, I'll just take the train."
Hearing this, my wife playfully punched me with her little fists while hugging me and saying, "Then you should at least buy three tickets, and take me and our daughter with you."
On November 4th, a friend named davidhan commented, describing how he faced the flowing water beneath his boat early in the morning, missing his beloved wife who had passed away in a car accident. To be honest, I cried when faced with that short but deeply sorrowful passage. I felt his pain and despair so vividly.
Some partings are forever. I sincerely wish this friend can recover from his grief soon. I am sure that your beloved in heaven doesn't want you to be unhappy or miserable. She is watching you from there, and your current state worries her. In this material world, we are all just passersby. The days a hundred years from now are our eternity. All separations are only temporary. You two will eventually meet again in eternity. Then, you can make it up to her.

(34)
It was early July in the blink of an eye, and C's departure from school was getting closer. My wife seemed to have forgotten about the trip to Mount Emei and didn't mention it again, but my anxiety grew stronger.
One evening, my wife was giving a bath to a puppy. —There is a story behind this puppy.
I will tell you the story related to this puppy in a chapter below: This puppy was not originally ours; it was just an ordinary pet dog. I don't know what breed it is. It looks like a Pekingese, but its fur is grayish and gives it an unclean appearance. One day a few years ago, my wife and I were chatting in the community garden when this little dog wandered around not far away. My wife called it, and it wagged its tail and ran over. My wife stroked the puppy's head and said to me, "Honey, look how clear its eyes are."
I pulled her hand away and said, "Do you know if it's sick? It's all dirty, why are you touching it like that?"
My wife said, "Then let's take it home and wash it."
I said, "Don't be silly, it's disgusting."
My wife wouldn't listen to me: "No, I'm going to wash it, it's none of your business."
After saying that, my wife picked up the puppy and walked home. I hurriedly followed behind, saying, "Put it down quickly, what if the owner sees us and thinks we stole a dog?"
My wife said, "If there's an owner, would they let it be this dirty? I don't care, so what if they see us?"
So, when we got home, my wife put the dog in a basin of water, washed it, and dried its fur with a hairdryer. Only then did my wife and I realize that the dog wasn't actually that dirty; its fur was just that color.
After the bath, the puppy excitedly circled around my wife. My wife rummaged through the refrigerator and took out some sausages and fries to feed it, and gave it a name that made me want to vomit: Liu Fugui (meaning "Rich and Powerful Liu").
Watching my wife and the dog chatter away, I was reminded of my daughter when she was little. My wife would often talk nonsense to her, even though she couldn't understand what I was saying. That night, before bed, I said to my wife, "You should let the dog out."
She said, "No way, Liu Fugui is ours now."
I said, "Stop it! Look at the name you gave it, like a village chief. If you want a dog, buy one yourself. What kind of behavior is this, stealing someone else's dog?"
My wife thought for a moment and said, "How about letting it stay here for one night and then letting it go tomorrow?"
After getting my agreement, my wife went to the balcony, found a cardboard box, put in a sofa cushion, and made a bed for the dog. However, the dog wasn't happy. Every time my wife put it in, it jumped out. After several such attempts, my wife gave up.
That night, my wife and I were passionately making love in bed when the dog started causing trouble outside the bedroom door, whimpering and scratching at it. At first, we ignored it; it's normal for a puppy to be unaccustomed to a new environment. But soon, a loud "Bang!" suddenly came from the living room, and I was instantly terrified.
I jumped out of bed and ran to the living room, where the scene almost made me furious: the coffee table was overturned, the water glass was broken, and all the books on the coffee table were soaked. The puppy, knowing it had caused trouble, was curled up in the sofa, looking at me in fear. I angrily rushed over, grabbed the annoying puppy, opened the bedroom door, and threw it out. The puppy yelped and ran away. I closed the bedroom door and turned around, startled: my wife was looking at me angrily: "Why did you hit it?"
I said, "My dear, when did I hit it? It's made such a mess of the house, and you won't let me throw it out?"
My wife said, "Then you could have just opened the door and let it go. Why did you have to throw it? Could you handle being hit like that?"
I was still furious and ignored my wife, going back to bed alone. My wife followed me in, lying on the bed with her back to me in a defiant manner. At that moment, I felt nothing but intense resentment towards that hateful dog.
Later, whenever my wife encountered the puppy alone, it would still be extremely affectionate towards her, but if we were together, it would definitely turn and run away. My wife would also occasionally bring the puppy home to bathe it. Sometimes, I would pet it, but this affectionate gesture would terrify the puppy, making me lose interest. Over time, although the puppy wasn't as afraid of me as it initially was, it remained indifferent to me.
It had happily accepted the name "Liu Fugui," and it had also accepted the puppy kennel. Sometimes my wife would let it stay there overnight, and it behaved very well. Every time I brought it home, no matter where it was playing, as soon as my wife called "Liu Fugui," it would immediately wag its tail and run over. I, on the other hand, fared much worse. For example, if it was lying not far from me and I called "Liu Fugui," it would roll its eyes at me. If I called again, it still wouldn't move, at most wagging its tail quickly twice, its impatience evident in the speed of the wagging.
I often endured my wife's ridicule because of this.
The complete change in my relationship with Liu Fugui stemmed from one of my wife's long trips. One year, my wife went to Lianyungang for a two-week recuperation trip. It was supposed to be a recuperation trip, but it was really just a company-sponsored trip. After my wife left, I brought my daughter home; she wasn't in school yet.
Her two days at home were incredibly stressful. Every morning I had to get up early to prepare breakfast for her, then take her to kindergarten, and pick her up promptly in the evening. At home, my daughter constantly pestered me with various tricks, wanting stories, playing house, leaving me unable to do anything all evening. Left with no other choice, I had to send the little rascal back to her grandparents' house.
Alone at home, I suddenly felt incredibly lonely, desperately searching for my wife's presence. This was after my wife's affair; since our relationship had completely changed, my dependence on her had deepened. I hadn't considered any of this before she left. My wife wasn't having a good time in Lianyungang either, calling several times a day to complain that without me, being with her colleagues was pointless.
One evening, I ate a quick dinner outside and returned to my apartment complex. Sitting alone on a garden chair, lost in thought, I noticed Liu Fugui lying nearby. In an instant, I felt a deep sense of affection for her. I slowly walked over (afraid she would run away), squatted down beside her, and gently stroked her, saying, "Liu Fugui, I miss your good friend so much. Do you miss her?"
Liu Fugui sensed my kindness and gently wagged her tail. I picked her up and took her home. I boiled water to bathe Liu Fugui and then dried her with a hairdryer. Next, I sat on the sofa reading, and Liu Fugui obediently lay at my feet, glancing at me every now and then. I called my wife: "Honey, you can play outside without worry, now I have someone to keep me company."
My wife was startled: "Don't do anything reckless, be careful not to catch a disease."
I said: "Don't worry, our relationship is very pure."
My wife said: "Don't lie to me, I don't believe you would bring another woman home."
I said: "Who said a woman? I said Liu Fugui."
My wife finally laughed happily on the phone.
From then on, Liu Fugui spent more and more time at my house, rarely staying out overnight. I still don't know who its owner is, perhaps my wife and I are its real owners.
Now, my wife is giving Liu Fugui a bath. I am alone, lost in thought, thinking about how to handle the next situation.

(Thirty-five)
After a while, my wife finished bathing Liu Fugui, opened the door and let Liu Fugui go out and run around (in this season, dogs are probably also in love, often not coming home all night). I was half-reclined on the sofa, watching my wife walk around the room in my oversized shirt. I called to her, "Honey, come talk to me for a bit."
She obediently came over, wrapped her arms around my neck, and asked, "Old man, are you trying to lecture me again?"
I sat up straight and said, "Sweetie, no nonsense, I'm talking to you about something serious."
My wife nodded, "Okay, go ahead."
Looking at her smooth skin peeking out from under the shirt collar, I knew she was naked underneath, which stirred a primal urge within me. —When it's just the two of us at home, my wife often wears my cotton shirts as pajamas. I don't know if you've ever noticed a scene in Western movies: women often wear their husbands' oversized shirts at home, looking incredibly sexy. My wife has always had this hobby; often after showering, she just casually throws one of my cotton shirts on.
I stood up, swept my wife into my arms, and carried her to the bedroom. She cried out in a low, exaggerated voice, "Help! There's a pervert..."
I put her on the bed, quickly took off my clothes, and lay down, gently holding her in my arms. She kissed me while her hand reached towards my groin. I stroked her ear and said, "Baby, stop being naughty. I need to talk to you about something serious."
She obediently stopped and looked at me. I said, "Baby, I've been thinking about this for days. Go to Mount Emei."
She immediately became wary and said, "No, no, I can't bear to leave you alone at home... unless you come with me."
I said, "I mean it. I've been thinking about this for days. If you go, I'll feel bad; if you don't go, I'll feel even worse. Between two evils, choose the lesser. You should go."
She covered my mouth with her hand and said, "Honey, please don't say that. I really won't go. I know you've been thinking about this for days, but I haven't been able to explain it to you. It's my fault. I shouldn't have made such an unreasonable request."
I said, "No, you still have to go. This time I'm asking you to go, so you don't have to feel guilty. Asking you to go and agreeing to go are two different things."
My wife said, "But I really don't want to go."
I kissed her and said, "Okay, if you really don't want to go, that's fine. I just don't want you to have any regrets, and this opportunity is really rare. In the future, Xiao C will eventually get married. Do you think you two can keep fooling around like this forever?" After a
moment of silence, my wife said, "Aren't you afraid that I'll give too much of my love for you to him?"
I said, "Silly girl, tell me now, how much love do you actually have? Let me tell you, love needs to be constantly developed, just like the human brain. Once developed, its potential is limitless. If the human brain is never used, it will become increasingly dull. Love is the same. If it is developed well, its potential is also limitless."
My wife didn't respond, but pressed her soft lips to mine...
As the passion gradually subsided, my wife hugged me and asked, "Dad, why are you so good to me?"
I said, "No..." "I understand, I think I'm completely ruined by you. When I'm with you, I'm like a fanatical religious fanatic. Can you understand why many Palestinian parents encourage their children to become suicide bombers?"
My wife said unreasonably, "I understand, I am a suicide bomber right now."
I lightly slapped this little rascal and said, "You're smart. I'll brainwash you first, maybe one day you'll be willing to charge into battle for me and give your life."
As soon as I finished speaking, my wife grabbed my penis and deliberately said in a fierce tone, "I—want—to—castrate—you!"
I said, "Tch, if you're willing, go ahead."
My wife held my penis in her small hand and gently squeezed it, saying, "Then, in the next life, I'll be a man, and you'll be my wife, so I can cherish you."
I said, "Fine, you're ruthless. It wasn't for nothing that I worked at the bank, I've gone all the way to 3000 years ago."
My wife said, "That's what I meant."
Having made up my mind and said the words, I felt relieved.

(36)
The next morning, before going to work, I told my wife to contact Xiao C to find out his exact departure time from school, and then calculate the date for them to meet in Chengdu. My wife hesitated and said to me, "Maybe we should just forget about it? Isn't this a bit too far-fetched?"
I half-jokingly said, "Don't worry about it. It's not far-fetched. Many famous military strategists don't follow the established rules. We'll do the same. Just listen to my arrangements."
In the morning at work, my wife called to tell me that Xiao C would arrive in Chengdu in five days. After hanging up, I booked a flight for my wife to Chengdu online for five days later.
In the following days, my wife was often uneasy and would say to me from time to time, "Dad, I don't want to go."
I said resolutely, "Don't worry, once you've decided, you're on your way. There's no turning back. Anyway, it's only a few days. You'll be back in a week, about the same time as a business trip. Just relax and have fun. Consider it as you fulfilling our past dream."
As the trip approached, my wife was sometimes anxious and sometimes excited. As I comforted her, I helped her pack the necessities for her trip: toiletries, small medications, a change of clothes, a DV camera, and the shoes she bought in Zhangjiajie last year, among other things. My wife followed behind me, watching me prepare these things.
She asked me anxiously, "Honey, what will you do without me?"
I said, "I'm thinking of going back to my parents' house for a few days to spend time with our daughter; she's been protesting to me quite a bit lately."
On the day of departure, I took my wife to the airport, and before boarding, she hugged me tightly. I teased her, "What's
wrong with you? You're not going to Mars." My wife said, "Honey, to be honest, I really regret it now. Suddenly, I feel like this is all meaningless. Without you, everything seems pointless. It feels like I'm just going through the motions of a reluctant social obligation."
I said, "If that's how you feel, that's when I'm truly worried. Don't forget my intention: you need to completely relax, have fun, and not think about anything. We'll talk about everything when you get back."
My wife leaned on my shoulder and softly said, "Thank you..."
Standing in the waiting hall, watching the Boeing 747 carrying my wife take off, my eyes blurred a little. I sat alone on a chair in the waiting hall for a while, my mind a mess. Although I always told my wife that I wouldn't play by the rules, with her actually leaving, I suddenly lost control of the game, and the entanglement of right and wrong began to bother me again.
After returning to the office from the airport, I sat there in a daze for a while before getting busy with work, temporarily forgetting all about it. In the afternoon, my wife called from Chengdu to tell me she had arrived safely at Shuangliu Airport and met up with Xiao C, who was already waiting there. I reiterated to her that since she was there, she should have a good time and not worry about anything at home. My wife obediently agreed on the other end of the phone.
That evening, I returned to my parents' house. They were very happy to hear I would be staying for a few days. After dinner, my daughter did her homework, and I sat beside her, casually flipping through her workbooks and textbooks. Then, my wife called again to tell me they had checked into a hotel and would be taking the express train to Leshan the next morning, a journey of only two hours. I briefly reiterated some travel precautions, including not putting my hands in my pockets to avoid monkeys snatching my things.
Then I handed the phone to my daughter, who chattered incessantly with her mother for over half an hour, refusing to hang up. I said to my daughter, "Be good, listen to your mother. She's tired from her business trip; let her rest early."
Only then did she reluctantly say goodbye to her mother.
That night, my wife sent me many text messages; I knew she really missed me.

(37)
For the next two days, everything was normal. My wife frequently texted or called to let me know her location. From her voice on the phone, I could tell she was happy. She was laughing and telling me about how she was robbed by a monkey. She said, "Honey, you know how forgetful I am. You reminded me many times not to put my hands in my pockets on Mount Emei, but I still forgot when we went up the mountain. I put my hands in my pants pockets and the monkeys robbed me. Luckily, it was just a pack of tissues."
On the third night after my wife left, my phone suddenly rang. I was startled awake and angrily picked up the phone. When I saw the caller ID, it was my wife. I was immediately shocked and became alert. I answered the phone anxiously, "What's wrong, honey?"
My wife said, "Nothing, I just miss you."
I asked, "Where's he?"
My wife said, "He's already asleep."
I finally relaxed and said, "Don't be naughty, it's so late, go to sleep, sweetie."
My wife said, "No, talk to me for a while."
My heart softened, and I said, "Okay, darling, I'll talk to you."
My wife said, "I had a good time the past two days, but now I just want to go home, I miss you so much."
I said, "It's okay, you're probably just too tired, a good night's sleep will make you feel better tomorrow."
Unexpectedly, my wife started crying softly on the other end, saying, "Honey, I really regret coming out alone, I just want to go home now."
I said, "Everything's fine at home, and I'm doing well too. Don't worry about me. Listen to me, if you really want to come back, then come back."
My wife said, "I'm not worried about you, I just suddenly miss home a lot."
The next day, around noon, my wife texted me: "Honey, we're on our way to the airport. We'll be home tonight."
I replied, "What about Xiao C? Is he going home too?"
My wife replied, "He's coming home with me because I told him the truth."
This sudden turn of events startled me. I thought to myself, Xiao C was probably watching when my wife sent this message, so I didn't reply. A little while later, Xiao C sent me a message that read: "Brother, you won't blame me, will you? Am I too sorry?"
I thought, since my wife had already told him the truth, there was no need for me to hide it anymore. So I replied, "Silly boy, why should I blame you? I'm grateful to you. Be careful on the road, take good care of your sister, I'll pick you up from the airport tonight."
Little C said, "Brother, my heart has been pounding, I'm a little afraid to see you."
I replied, "Brother, as long as you don't blame me, that's fine. It's not that you lied to me, it's that I've been lying to you."
Little C said, "But I still feel very guilty."
I replied, "Silly boy, there are some things you don't understand, but at least you should understand that: having someone who truly cares for and loves a woman is definitely a good thing, that's enough."
Later, my wife told me what happened that day: On the third night, after we returned to the hotel, we were both exhausted. Whenever my wife walked a long way or was too tired, she would ask me to give her a long massage before going to bed. That day, after we took a shower, my wife lay on the bed and let Little C massage her shoulders. Little C massaged them hastily for a few moments and then rushed to have sex. Looking at Little C panting on her, my wife suddenly felt so unfamiliar and immediately lost interest. After satisfying himself, Little C rolled over and lay down, quickly falling asleep on his own.
This was understandable; he was exhausted after a long day, and as always, he carried everything himself—even a young man can't handle that. But my wife couldn't sleep, remaining wide awake. She began to think of me intensely. I explained to her, "Silly girl, when I was his age, I was even more careless than him. Don't you remember me falling asleep on top of you? Some things take time to cultivate."
My wife said, "Yes, but I've gotten used to your tenderness. Every time we make love, you hold me and talk for a while until I fall asleep before you sleep yourself."
The next morning, my wife got up very early and sat alone by the window, lost in thought. Little C, unaware of the trouble he had caused, was still busy planning where to go that day. His wife turned from the window, looked calmly into his eyes, and said, "Shall we not go out this morning? I want to have a serious talk with you."
Little C was startled and immediately sat obediently beside his wife. Then, she told him the whole truth. Watching Little C's initial surprise gradually subside, his wife asked, "Little brother, will you blame us?"
Little C went over and hugged his wife, saying, "How could I? Brother and sister, you're both so good to me. I don't know how to repay you." His
wife said, "We were actually afraid this would have a bad impact on you in the future, so we didn't dare tell you the truth."
Little C said, "Sister, what should we do next? I'll listen to you. Shall we still go out?"
His wife said, "I want to go home. I've been missing your brother more and more these past few days."
Little C said, "Okay, then I'll go home too."
His wife said, "Why don't you come with me to my house first? You need to see your brother, so you won't feel awkward later."
So, the two immediately called the hotel reception and booked plane tickets.
That evening, I drove to the airport to pick them up. When Little C saw me outside the airport, his expression was extremely awkward, and he whispered, "Brother." I smiled and said to him, "You haven't been bullying your sister these past few days, have you?"
Before Little C could answer, my wife had already thrown herself into my arms and hugged me tightly. The sweet feeling I had at that moment was absolutely indescribable.
On the drive home, we sat side by side in the back. My wife kept looking at me affectionately through the rearview mirror. I said, "Why are you staring at me like that? Have I changed?"
My wife said, "Yes, I have."
I said, "Dude, it's not that dramatic, it's only been four days."
My wife said, "These four days feel like we've been apart for forty years."
I teased her, "Be careful, we have a child, it's so cheesy."
My wife said, "I'm happy, my husband, who would laugh?"
Then she turned to Little C and asked, "Little brother, don't you think so?"
Little C said, "Sigh, I'm so envious of your relationship."
We passed a restaurant along the way, and I suggested we eat out for dinner. My wife said, "Let's eat at home, nowhere is better than home."
So I parked, went in, bought some groceries, and took them away.

(Thirty-eight)
Things have developed far beyond my expectations, because I didn't anticipate such a good outcome.
Now, my previous worries and anxieties have completely disappeared.
Here, I would like to mention again the principle of non-action: non-action yet nothing is left undone. Before agreeing to let my wife go to Mount Emei alone, I was worried she'd stray too far from her goals. But ultimately, my laissez-faire attitude made her realize what was truly precious and worth cherishing. This spontaneous awakening, born from personal experience, was a thousand times more effective than any preaching.
Back home, I hugged my wife and we kissed and nibbled at each other. At this point, there was no need to hide it from Xiao C, but Xiao C still went to the kitchen to set the table.
I put my wife on the sofa, pinned her down, and asked, "You little rascal, after all this time, home is still the best, right?"
My wife looked at me with dreamy eyes and said, "Yes."
At dinner, the three of us toasted each other, and I was overjoyed. We reminisced about this time last year, when we traveled to Zhangjiajie and other places. I deliberately tormented Xiao C: "Do you remember when I picked you up from the station before the start of winter break, and you acted like it was your first time coming to my house? What were you thinking back then?"
The alcohol didn't make Xiao C blush, but this question made him turn red in the face. He said, "Boss, please spare me, I feel like dying right now."
Hearing this, my wife laughed foolishly along with him. I said again, "You're a born pervert! Look at all the bad things you've done this past year, and you can even pretend nothing's wrong in front of me."
Little C finally seemed to recover, saying, "I feel like I've been walking into a trap all along."
To avoid further embarrassment for Little C, my wife tried to stop me, saying, "Old man, act like a proper older brother! You've got no sense of propriety at all."
I covered my face with my drink and said to my wife, "Yeah, you have some sense of propriety, eloping with your lover so openly. Tomorrow I'll tell your mother all this, see if she'll spit on you to death."
My wife ignored me and said to Little C, "Little brother, tell me how pitiful your older sister is, how did she end up with such a perverted husband?"
Later, Little C got a little tipsy and said emotionally, "Brother, when my sister and I are together, the most common topic of conversation is your story. Sometimes we're talking about something else, but somehow, we suddenly start talking about you, and once we start talking about you, she can't stop. And, many times, she subconsciously mistook me for you. I used to not understand why she would stay with me if we loved each other so much, but now I finally understand."
I said, "Silly boy, your understanding is still very basic, but for now, this is enough. How a couple should get along isn't something that can be learned from others' advice alone. There are many things you need to experience for yourself. As a great man said, to know the taste of a pear, you must taste it yourself."
When drinking, the most difficult thing is getting emotional. The saying "a thousand cups are not enough when drinking with a bosom friend" perfectly describes this. In the end, all three of us were quite tipsy. And I felt that my wife was somewhat deliberately drinking too much, because we both tacitly understood what was about to happen, but neither of us said it aloud.
After dinner, it was still early, so my wife ordered Xiao C, "Sweetie, wash the dishes and clean the kitchen. I'll make you some tea."
Xiao C readily agreed.
I carried my wife to the sofa, looking at her flushed face, and said, "Honey, you must be tired after flying for hours. Go take a shower first."
My wife said, "No, let you hold me for a while first."
I whispered in her ear, "Do you want to make love?"
My wife said, "Yes, I really want to."
I asked her, "Do you want me or him?"
My wife kissed me and said, "I want my husband."
I said to her, "Honey, be good, go take a shower, and go to bed early."
My wife obediently agreed and went to the bathroom.
A little while later, Xiao C finished washing the dishes. I called him over, and Xiao C agreed, went to the refrigerator, got a can of Coke, and sat down on the sofa. He asked, "Hey bro, how come you and my sister get along so well?"
I said, "Stop being sentimental, what's with all this talk about being close? You'll be even closer to us after you get married. By the way, have you got a job yet?"
Little C said, "I'm working hard to get into the TV station, it's almost done, but I still need Dad to help me find some connections."
I said, "That's normal, that's how society is these days."
We chatted like that, making small talk. Soon, my wife came out of the shower, and to my surprise, she was only wearing one of my shirts again.
I moved closer to the sofa and said to my wife, "Come sit down, sweetie."
My wife said, "Honey, my toenails are long, you need to trim them for me."
I said, "Okay, go get the nail clippers."
Before I begin, I must declare that the following is 100% fictional, because according to current laws, the three protagonists in this story might be suspected of violating the law. So I can only say that this is fictional.
The story begins: My wife quickly found the nail clippers, sat down on the sofa very naturally, leaned against Little C, and stretched her legs out. I picked up her cute little feet and kissed them, continuing our conversation while trimming her toenails. My wife still gazed at me with dreamy, affectionate eyes. Later, she shifted to a more comfortable position, resting her upper body on Xiao C's lap.
At this point, Xiao C was clearly extremely reserved, unsure whether to place his hands on the sofa or on my wife's lap— he was utterly at a loss.
This scene excited me greatly. I put down the nail clippers, grabbed her two little feet, and gently caressed them. Stimulated by me, my wife grabbed Xiao C's hand, and with her other hand
, she reached behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Naturally, Xiao C bent down, and the two kissed. I reached out and touched my wife's private parts; they were already overflowing with arousal fluid. I parted her legs and began kissing her with my tongue. At this moment, this lovely woman moaned happily, writhing her body while passionately kissing Xiao C. I could even see their tongues swirling together.
This unusual caressing was so exciting that soon my wife's body suddenly stiffened and trembled slightly. I knew she had reached her first climax. I touched Little C's arm and said to him, "Go wash up."
Little C replied in a slightly hoarse voice, removed his hand from my wife's breasts, and got up to go to the bathroom.
I picked my wife up and carried her to the bed in the bedroom. My wife wrapped her arms around my neck and murmured, "Honey, I feel like an empress."
I said, "Baby, you've always been my empress."

(Thirty-nine)
I held my dear wife and kissed her passionately. She writhed in my arms like a snake, murmuring, "Honey, hurry, I want it..."
I tried to control my desire and said, "Baby, I haven't showered yet, don't rush."
My wife said, "No, I want it, hurry... hurry..."
I gently stroked my wife's beautiful, well-maintained breasts and said, "Be good, sweetie... I'm going to take a shower now."
As I was about to get up, my wife clung tightly to my neck and wouldn't let go. I had no choice but to tickle her sole. She let out a soft "Oh" and curled up into a ball, and I took the opportunity to escape.
Stepping out of the bedroom, I found Little C had already showered and was dressed smartly, sitting on the sofa pretending to watch TV. As I walked towards the bathroom, I said to him, "Silly boy, stop pretending and hurry up."
After saying that, I went into the bathroom, quickly washed up, and in less than ten minutes, I dried myself off and returned to the bedroom with my heart pounding.
The scene before me was enough to make my blood boil. Although I had seen it on DVDs, I still felt my blood rush to my head and a wave of dizziness wash over me: Under the slightly dim but soft light of the bedside lamp, the two of them were making love in a 69 position. The wife was bent over on top of Little C, her hand holding Little C's penis and sucking it frantically.
Seeing me come in, my wife turned around, pulled me over, and took me into her mouth. Little C withdrew from under her. I said to my wife, "Didn't you want it? Why haven't we started yet?"
My wife said, "I want you...I want you..."
I laid my wife flat on top of me and entered her body without any resistance, immediately feeling enveloped by a warm, soft embrace. My wife hooked her legs around my waist, moaning as she pulled Little C over and took him into her mouth. This unusual scene excited me to the extreme. After only a few thrusts, I felt a strong urge to ejaculate and quickly pulled out. I said to Little C, "I can't take it anymore, I'm too excited to control myself. You take a turn."
I sat sideways next to my wife, holding her head, watching Little C slowly insert his incredibly hard penis into her body, and then begin to thrust violently. At this moment, my wife gripped my hand tightly, moaning loudly as she kissed me, and said indistinctly, "Husband, I love you, I'm so happy..."
I held her, sharing the pleasurable thrusts with her. Perhaps because he had drunk too much, or perhaps because of nervousness, after about five or six minutes of thrusting, Little C's speed slowed down and he finally stopped. A little embarrassed, he said to me, "Brother, I can't take it anymore."
I thought he was having an accident and said, "Just go for it, don't hold back."
My wife chimed in, "Hehe, honey, he's gone soft."
I said, "It's okay, I'll take over."
Little C immediately darted aside. I glanced at his penis; sure enough, he looked dejected.
I moved to my wife's lower body, and when my hand touched the sheet, I noticed it was soaked. Holding my wife's legs, I gently thrust in and out, asking her, "You naughty boy, is it good?"
My wife still looked at me with dazed eyes, nodding loudly while moaning, and started babbling incoherently. A short while later, I ejaculated profusely, and my wife, following my rhythm, reached
her climax as expected… I cleaned myself up with a tissue, then lay panting beside her. Looking at her face, once again streaked with tears from excessive excitement, I asked her with a touch of tenderness, “My little darling, you must be exhausted.”
My wife said, “Honey, I feel like I’m flying…”
At this moment, Little C lay on the other side of my wife, his hand gently caressing her breasts. I asked him, “Do you still want to do it?”
Little C sensibly said, “Let my sister rest for a while.” My
wife sat up and said, “I’ll go wash up.”
I lit a cigarette, slowly inhaling, and asked Little C, “What did it feel like when you were having sex with your sister?”
Little C said, “It’s hard to describe, it just felt like my whole body was melting.”
I said, “With the three of you together, you must have been very nervous, right? Did you have any bad feelings?”
Little C said, “I was a little nervous at first, haha, but now it feels great. I’ve read articles about this online before, and they seemed very exciting, but I never thought I would have one myself.” "Such an opportunity,"
I said. "Before your sister, have you ever been with any women?"
Little C said, "Yes, with my girlfriend, but we never really felt anything together. It got even worse after I met my sister."
I asked him, "How are things between you two now?"
Little C said, "We broke up a long time ago. Actually, we both knew deep down that we couldn't end up together; it was just companionship."
I sighed and said, "Don't worry, you'll meet your soulmate eventually."
Little C said, "For now, I just want to focus on my work for a few years before thinking about this."
After chatting for a while, my wife came back, naked, and climbed onto the bed. I stretched out my hands: "Come on, sweetie, let your brother hug you."
My wife obediently snuggled into my arms, facing Little C, and playfully took his penis in her little hands and stroked it. After a while, Little C said, "Sister, I want it."
My wife said, "Then come on, sweetie..."
I got up and went to the bathroom to wash up quickly. When I returned, I found my wife lying face down, with C kneeling behind her, his hands on her buttocks, moving rhythmically. My wife's face was hidden by her long hair, and she moaned in rhythm with C's movements.
This was a position my wife and I often used when we made love alone, but it was difficult for her to reach climax. Also, when I ejaculated, I liked to hold her tightly and share the climax with her. I sat beside her for a while, then became excited again, lying on my back in front of her. She took me in her mouth…
After more than ten minutes, C's movements became faster and faster. My wife no longer cared about me, just holding me tightly and shouting loudly without restraint… Finally, C stopped, holding my wife's abdomen tightly; he had also ejaculated.
As the passion subsided, the three of us lay down. My wife said to me, "Honey, I can't go on anymore, the world is spinning."
I said, "Rest well for a while, then go wash up and go to sleep."
That night, my wife held me tightly, sleeping soundly in my arms, even purring like a cat. I was thirsty and wanted to get up to drink water several times, but I couldn't bear to wake her. As a result, I dreamed of looking for water everywhere, but I couldn't find any...
The story is over. Now let's get back to reality.

(40)
The next day I had to go to work and had to get up early. My head was still spinning when I got dressed. My wife woke up and wanted to get up to make me breakfast. I said, "You sleep for a while. I'll eat something simple. When I get to work, I'll try to come back as early as possible if there's nothing else to do." I
was busy at work all day. My wife called me in the middle of the day, and I told her I couldn't get away.
My wife said, "Honey, Xiao C wants to go back today."
I asked, "What, are you reluctant to let him go?"
My wife said, "I don't care. I'm fine with whatever happens."
I said, "Give the phone to Xiao C, and I'll talk to him."
On the phone, I said to Xiao C, "Is there something urgent that you need to go home for?"
Xiao C said, "Actually, there's nothing. I'm just afraid of bothering you too much."
I said, "There's no trouble at all. Your sister's leave still has a few days left. Why don't you stay a few more days?"
Xiao C happily agreed.
The next afternoon, my wife went to see our daughter. When I got home from work, my wife wasn't back yet; Xiao C was clumsily cooking in the kitchen. I called my wife, and she said, "Honey, I want to stay with our daughter tonight."
I said, "Good heavens, it'll be awkward if just the two of us are home alone."
My wife thought for a moment and said, "Why don't you come over too? Let Xiao C stay home alone."
After hanging up, I told Xiao C, "You can eat dinner by yourself. I'm going to our daughter's. Your sister and I won't be back tonight."
Xiao C exaggeratedly said, "Dude, aren't you afraid I'll hire a moving company and empty the house?"
I said, "It's late at night, why bother? Your sister and I will come back tomorrow to help you move."
My wife and I stayed with our daughter at my parents' house for one night. The next morning, I went to work, and my wife went home.
Xiao C stayed for a few more days. During the day, I went to work, and Xiao C would occasionally go shopping with my wife. In the evenings, we would have dinner together, chat, or watch the DV videos they recorded in Emei Mountain, including the previous disc. While watching, they ended up sleeping together. One evening, my wife was lying in bed, teasing C, "Little devil, don't get married in the future. Be my empress for life, and the little bedroom will be yours."
C said, "Okay, okay, I couldn't be happier! You won't have to go to work anymore, and my brother and I will earn money to support you."
I said to my wife, "That's ridiculous! Have you ever seen an empress working outside? To be an emperor, you have to be able to earn money. We'll stay home, and you go out and work to support us."
My wife said, "Empresses don't work, but neither do emperors!"
I said, "Doesn't an emperor need to be busy governing the country every day? Silly."
My wife said, "The empress doesn't need to. Look at Elizabeth, she doesn't care about anything, she leaves all the work to the prime minister."
I thought about it, and she was right. This rascal is quite good at arguing.
The day before my wife was supposed to go to work, C left. I had planned to take some time to see him off. But Little C said, "No one needs to see me off. I can walk by myself. It's not like I can't find the station."
I thought about it and realized she was right. There was no need to be so polite. It would be better to just order whatever was convenient.
With Xiao C's passing, my wife and I returned to our peaceful lives. As before, besides visiting our daughter, my wife rushed home every day after work. My wife's former female friends had complained to me on the phone more than once, "You're too strict with your wife! She's turned down so many gatherings, how come she can't even have time to have a meal with us?"
I said, "That won't do. My wife needs to be strictly managed; she can't be led astray by you bad women. I'm a very traditional, upright man."
This resulted in a laugh and a scolding from my wife's friends.
I have many work-related social engagements, but I always inform her beforehand where I'm going.
My wife trusts me completely. For example, when I go to entertainment venues, she'll say, "You have to remain chaste for me. I'll check when you get back. If anything's amiss, I'll kick you at best, and give you a good spanking at worst."
Unless I'm on a business trip, no matter how late I stay out, I must go home. It's a habit I've developed over the years; I can't sleep outside.

(41)
Since that threesome, my wife occasionally looks for related articles online. I asked her how she felt, and she said, "It's not as good as my own experience."
I think that's absolutely the truth. Sex, without an emotional foundation, becomes purely sensory stimulation, and this kind of stimulation won't last. I don't know how many friends have experienced a threesome, but based on my experience, it requires a very high level of psychological resilience from the man other than the wife. He can't have any pressure, otherwise he's very likely to become impotent.
Take Xiao C for example. When he's alone with his wife, he's incredibly vigorous, but the first time the three of us were together, he experienced temporary impotence. According to my wife, this never happened when the two of them were alone. Some men are very sensitive sexually, like me. If I have even the slightest other thought in my mind, no matter how much my wife stimulates me, my erection won't last long.
I've read some articles describing threesomes. Men who bring their wives into these games generally fall into two categories: one type is purely seeking thrills, simply enjoying watching their wives with other men; the other is driven by love and affection for their wives, though this type may also enjoy seeing other men bring their wives extreme pleasure.
The former is more dangerous. First, as mentioned above, this thrill won't last. After two or three times, interest will likely wane, leading to boredom. It's boring with three people, but even more boring with just one. Furthermore, some men, in pursuit of their goal, disregard their wives' objections, resulting in the wife's reluctant agreement and significant psychological harm.
The latter is more normal. However, this requires a high level of marital harmony. Firstly, absolute honesty is essential regarding sex. Beyond the act itself, psychological communication is crucial.
Therefore, regardless of whether the wife or husband first has this idea, the first priority should be restoring harmony to the marital relationship. Only after establishing a harmonious and fulfilling marital relationship should one consider a threesome, which in turn can further enhance the marital harmony and fulfillment—a virtuous cycle.
Of course, every couple has their own unique way of handling their relationship. I'm not saying that a threesome is the only way to achieve a more fulfilling marriage; that's a misconception. A threesome is simply a rare and unconventional way among countless ways to foster a harmonious marital relationship.
As I've said before, couples shouldn't be bound by rigid principles. If it benefits the relationship and is acceptable to both partners, then it's worth trying. This is a diverse society; various behavioral patterns should be allowed to coexist. Regarding others' behavior, as long as it doesn't harm others or the public interest, if you can accept it, offer understanding; if you can't, offer tolerance.
Furthermore, I've seen phrases like "We are a middle-aged couple who have lost our passion" in many dating posts.
Here, I'd like to elaborate a bit more on this topic of "the passion fading in an old married couple." There's an old saying: "Touching your lover's hand is like being eighteen or nineteen again; touching your wife's hand is like touching your left hand with your right."
This aptly describes the helplessness of lost passion. However, if we look at it from a different angle, "lost passion" isn't necessarily all bad. For example, when you touch your wife's hand like your left hand touching your right, have you considered: would you be willing to cut off your right hand with your left? —Unless you're crazy, no one would do that.
When your lover becomes like your left and right hands, it precisely demonstrates the deep bond of blood ties between you. Therefore, when you both try to rekindle lost passion on this foundation of deep affection, that passion is mature and genuine. Furthermore, couples don't need to constantly strive for passionate displays, because life itself is like a glass of water—tasteless, yet indispensable. In the TV series *My Own Swordsman*, Bai Zhantang tells his lover, Tong Xiangyu, "No matter how good other women are, they're like wine, while you're like plain rice."
—Yes, a lover is like the plain rice or steamed bun you can't live without in your life; the taste may be simple, but the nourishment they provide is the foundation of your life.
[End of text]

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