Year-end review: Reasons for China's soaring divorce rate

Marriage is not a single-plank bridge that everyone must cross, nor is it suitable for everyone. Marrying for the sake of marriage is irresponsible and will only lead to mutual harm in the end.
Marriage is not a fairy tale, and marriage is not the end, but a new beginning.
How many people believe that marriage signifies the start of a happy life, imagining a glamorous and exciting future? Ideals are ideals, and reality is reality; you must not bring ideals into reality.
How many people divorce because they see the truth about marriage, feel deeply disappointed, and regret that they only realized after marriage that married life was not as perfect as they had imagined? They then use "choosing the wrong person" as an excuse, even thinking that simply changing partners would fundamentally solve the problem.
In fact, you should have known this long ago, especially those who are not yet married but are preparing to get married—marriage is simply a change of life; its essence is still life. It doesn't exist in the way you imagine. Passion and romance are not the norm of life; hardship and ordinariness are. If you really want to get married, first of all, you must be prepared to live an ordinary life; you cannot imagine marriage as a fairy tale world.
No marriage is without crises, and life is never a smooth journey. As the saying goes, after the storm comes the rainbow. Sometimes it's not that you see hope and then persevere, but rather that you persevere and then see hope.
1.
I often hear the question, "What has marriage really brought us?" Frankly, I personally find this objectionable. Marriage isn't a tool for self-interest; it requires mutual sacrifice and effort to reap the fruits of happiness.
It's like crossing a traffic light; only when both parties have invested the time and effort of waiting can they eventually cross. Otherwise, everyone will be stuck!
2.
Many couples in society today share a room but not a bed, not a blanket, and even when they are in the same blanket, they sit back-to-back, ignoring each other, without communication, phone calls, or texts—they almost never contact each other unless absolutely necessary.
WeChat is for payments, SMS is for receiving verification codes, phone calls are for ordering takeout, and entertainment apps are for watching other people's couples. They're using marriage as a pretext to live like widows, arguing and bickering the moment they start communicating. It's better to just scroll through Douyin alone. Where does marital affection come from?
3.
Couples born in the 1960s would never divorce, those born in the 1970s struggle with whether to stay or leave, those born in the 1980s divorce when things get tough, and those born in the 1990s divorce at the slightest disagreement.
People's views on marriage have changed. The older generation believed in "marrying a chicken, following the chicken," and didn't have the concept of divorce because in the past, when something broke, the thought was "repair." But for those born in the 1980s and 1990s, the thought is "replace." But can "replace" really solve the problem?
Ask yourself, if you can't swim, will changing the swimming pool make you swim?
4.
Rich men are restless, and poor men have restless wives.
Rich women are independent, don't need to rely on men, and no longer need to follow the traditional concept of men being the breadwinners and women staying at home.
For women with no money, the cost of divorce is practically zero, yet the return on investment is surprisingly high, as divorce can lead to wealth.
In the past, writing love letters and mailing them was a slow process, enough to love only one person in a lifetime; now, chatting online with people nearby is fast-paced, greatly reducing the cost of meeting strangers.
Aren't there enough temptations in this overwhelming flood of online information?
5.
One party speaks while the other lacks patience to listen; one needs emotional resonance while the other uses material things to appease them.
Marriage is neglected, holidays and anniversaries lack surprises, the division of labor in the family is unbalanced, the couple no longer cooperates but is constantly at odds, magnifying each other's shortcomings and downplaying each other's strengths, their married life becomes indifferent and detached, they lose shared interests! They no longer move forward hand in hand but go their separate ways.
Can a marriage of endless demands and constant exploitation be happy and lasting?
6.
People naturally think that when the time comes, they can become husband and wife and parents, but have they truly learned how to be husband and wife and parents?
Marrying haphazardly, having children haphazardly, divorcing haphazardly—collective ignorance leads to collective marital failure. (Aren't tens of millions of people enough to constitute a group?)
A person shouldn't wait until an exam to study; they should study first and then take the exam. Have we seriously conducted pre-relationship training, pre-marital training, and prenatal training? Shouldn't both parties in a marriage need a professional qualification certificate?
7.
Some women are worse off than nannies in life because nannies have a salary and freedom after work. So they choose to shirk responsibility, saying, "Once the dowry and bride price are gone, I can change men."
Some men in marriage complain that women are unreasonable, demanding a pear after receiving an apple, and would rather just say divorce.
Now, we can provide for our material needs and our spiritual needs through the internet. If we are self-sufficient, why get married? Who is right and who is wrong?
8.
Love is like underwear; you need to have it, but you can't show it to everyone. Affection is like pregnancy; it takes time, and rushing it can easily lead to miscarriage.
If you succeed, eating vegetables and green onions is considered healthy, and even your farts will sound reasonable; if you fail, eating vegetables and green onions is considered stingy, and even if you have a point, it's all nonsense. This can also be understood as a winner-takes-all theory, regardless of right or wrong.
In short, don't compare yourself to others. You envy someone's thinness, but they envy your good digestion; you envy someone's wealth, but they envy that no one asks you for money.
There's no such thing as choice paralysis; it's just because you're poor. There's no such thing as bad luck; pandas and pigs are both lazy and gluttonous, but pigs are put on the dinner table, while pandas are treasured possessions. One is stabbed, the other is pampered! It's just because their faces are different, their fates are completely different.
Cultivate yourself first, then manage your family; think it through thoroughly before getting married. It doesn't really matter who you live with…
The Civil Code, which came into effect in 2021, stipulates a 30-day cooling-off period for divorce. So what about marriage?
Most
marriages are emotional contracts; maintaining a marriage is about finding a home for one's emotions. Many say marriage is the grave of love, but without marriage, love has nowhere to die. Therefore, logically speaking, two people who come together for love should choose kindness over right and wrong, and certainly not gain or loss.
However, if marriage is the grave of love, then blind dates are like choosing the feng shui for that grave, confessing one's feelings is like digging one's own grave, getting married is like a double suicide, infidelity is like moving the grave, and a third party is like grave robbery.
In short, what is destined to be yours will be yours, and what is not, you cannot force.
10.
After watching "Apple," I realized that men are unreliable; after watching "Lust, Caution," I realized that women are unreliable; after watching "The Warlords," I realized that brothers are unreliable; after watching "Assembly," I realized that organizations are unreliable; after watching "Mom, Love Me Again," I realized that fathers are unreliable; after watching "New Police Story," I realized that sons are unreliable; after watching "The Matrix," I realized that nothing in reality is reliable, and the conclusion is that only oneself is reliable.
As a lifestyle choice, being single or married is neither inherently superior nor inferior; because, regardless of marital status, people ultimately live with themselves. Those who can live like a beam of light illuminate wherever they go, and have the ability to be happy no matter who they are with. In
the future, perhaps more people will choose not to marry or to divorce, rather than settling, which would be a step forward for social civilization.

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Year-end review: Reasons for China's soaring divorce rate

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