Things to consider for couples

Five essential issues to consider, preventative measures, and remedies for couples engaging in casual sex/threesomes.

What if your wife/husband falls in love with someone else? What if you get an unplanned pregnancy? What if you contract a sexually transmitted disease? What if the affair is exposed and everyone finds out (including legal consequences)? How do you handle any unpleasant issues that might arise during the interaction? If you are a stable couple and don't want to ruin your family by playing this game, I suggest you discuss these four issues before starting. Everything carries risk, and seeking pleasure naturally involves risk. Consider whether you can bear the risks. Recommended preventative measures and remedies: Question 1: What if I contract a sexually transmitted disease? Preventative measure 1: Always use condoms with people you don't know well. Preventative measure 2: Both you and the person you frequently interact with should have regular checkups. Get checked every six months, and also get checked if any abnormalities are found in the genital area. If any problems are found with the STD six tests, immediately stop interacting and seek treatment. Preventative measure 3: Get vaccinated against HPV. While the effectiveness of this vaccine is limited for those with prior sexual experience, it's better than nothing. Ideally, both partners should be vaccinated if they intend to engage in sexual activity. However, don't assume that vaccination makes you complacent about health and hygiene; the vaccine's effectiveness is limited. Preventive measure 4: Maintain good personal hygiene. Before engaging in sexual activity, require your partner to wash and inspect their genitals. Blood tests at the hospital cannot detect all problems, especially those related to the surface of the genitals (particularly with unfamiliar partners). Your wife should thoroughly examine your partner's genitals (it's embarrassing for a man to have another man examine his genitals, so it's best if your wife does). Ensure adequate lighting, fully retract the foreskin for a careful examination, and check the skin under the pubic hair. If you find redness, blisters, broken skin, odor, or abnormal color, do not engage in sexual activity. If no problems are found, thoroughly clean his genitals (including pubic hair) again with a disinfectant solution. If your wife has a dominant personality, she can bend over and examine the genitals like a queen examining a male concubine; if she has a submissive personality, she can kneel down, make a sucking motion with her mouth, and bring her face close for a closer look. Generally, this won't cause embarrassment. New couples who haven't been in the community for long often find the wife too shy to get checked, which isn't good. It's best to find an experienced couple to teach her (with guidance, she won't be shy anymore), or start with a familiar single man. Newcomers should avoid dating unfamiliar single men. Prevention measure 5: Play with a fixed interaction partner. This actually contradicts prevention measures 1 and 2 in question 1. Fixed interaction partners are more likely to develop feelings over time, but changing partners frequently and having relationships with too many partners will lead to greater health risks. In this regard, I suggest prioritizing health, focusing on fixed interaction partners, and using non-fixed ones as a supplement. I will write about how to prevent and deal with the problem of "developing feelings over time" later. Prevention measure 6: Choose interaction partners you know well. This actually contradicts the prevention measures in question 4. Remedial measures: Treat problems promptly once they are discovered. Question 2: What if the wife/husband develops feelings for someone else over time? Prevention measure 1: Control the frequency of interaction with individual game partners (except for interaction partners who live together conveniently). (For example, if the husband is away for a month and the wife is partying with the same single man every night during that month, the risk of problems increases significantly. However, if she only sees him once a week, the risk is much lower.) Preventive Measure 2: During the same period, the wife should have two or more different people to interact with besides her husband. (Helping with different people can significantly reduce dependence on one person. For example, playing with the same single man twice a week; or playing with two different single men twice a week…) Preventive Measure 3: Prohibit older, unmarried/divorced women without a stable boyfriend from participating in the activities. (This is mainly to prevent problems for the husband. Older single women are more likely to fall in love with someone through sex and try to destroy his current family…) Preventive Measure 4: Choose couples/partners with stable relationships to participate in the activities. (If their relationship is stable and they are unlikely to separate, it's less likely that one of them will be left single and pursue another of us due to a divorce/breakup in the exchange. Whether you're exchanging partners/finding a single man/woman, try to find someone with a stable relationship, preferably someone your partner agrees to. If your partner doesn't agree, and they find out, the relationship might be in trouble...and the risk increases...) Precaution 5: When choosing a "fast-food single man" without a wife or stable girlfriend, try to choose one who is unlikely to marry, such as someone 8 years younger than your wife, etc. However, there are a few exceptions. It's best to avoid "fast-food single men." If you must choose one, it should be an undergraduate student. Young, energetic, and with a short refractory period...and many other advantages. They generally won't intentionally try to break you up to pursue your wife. ...The risk for single men is actually quite high. A few years ago, when I was single, I "stole" someone else's girlfriend...facepalm...it wasn't intentional. They separated because the woman's family strongly opposed it, not because I intentionally seduced them. They still interact frequently now, so it wasn't a complete abduction. (Why can there be exceptions? Because there are a few that the wife likes. Since you're playing this game, you should let the wife play what she likes, otherwise what's the point?) Precaution 6: When interacting with strangers for a short time, you should conceal your information, including frequently used contact methods and addresses. (For newly formed couples, if interacting with strangers, the first few interactions should ideally be in a hotel, and don't add them on WeChat/QQ or leave your frequently used phone number. You can tell them your real name [in case the police check the room, as long as it's not a three-person interaction, knowing each other's real names will generally not cause trouble. Also, be cautious about multi-person interactions in hotels; specific issues are discussed in section 4]. Experienced couples can rent a "sex room" for daily activities. This can control the problem of the game partner becoming overly clingy after the interaction. Only when you are very familiar and trust the interaction partner should they know your main personal information.) Of course, the most crucial thing is that your relationship must be stable. If your relationship has problems, dating is not a panacea; dating can only enhance your relationship. Let's discuss remedial measures: Remedial measure 1: So what if your wife's new lover falls in love with someone else? Will it necessarily destroy the family? Couples' sexual activities are not simply about sexual release, especially for women, who cannot completely distinguish between sex and love. It's understandable that after a long period of sexual activity, feelings of attraction or even love may develop. (Of course, this is my opinion. Some couples I know believe that once the wife develops feelings for her partner, the relationship should be immediately broken up. I think that's wrong; it's like giving your wife a human massage stick. A wife can only have better pleasure with a single man if she has feelings for him. And feelings of attraction and love are hard to distinguish, so don't reject feelings of love/attraction.) As a husband, since you've chosen this game, don't be hostile towards your wife's new lover. You should encourage your wife to continue interacting with him. If both of you have the means, you can consider having him/her move into your home. (Someone asked: Didn't you say you wanted to hide personal information? That's for strangers you've just met and don't know each other well. Your wife has already "fallen in love" with him, so they're obviously very familiar with each other [perhaps through interaction, or perhaps he's someone your wife already knows]. There's no need to be wary of personal information.) Remedy 2: If your wife falls in love with someone else, the husband should win her back. Does falling in love today mean loving him forever? If your wife has fallen for a casual fling, the husband should show more care and attention to her, have more sex with her, and also encourage other men she likes to interact with her more, diverting her attention. Over time, she won't feel so "in love" with this man, greatly reducing the risk. Question 3: What to do about an unplanned pregnancy? Prevention 1: Normal contraception. Condoms are recommended, as they also prevent STIs. For a few familiar casual flings, if your wife prefers unprotected sex, you can choose oral contraceptives like Marvelon, depending on her health condition. Remedy: Prepare for unplanned pregnancies. There is no 100% reliable contraception in the world. If an unplanned pregnancy occurs, it's best to have a contingency plan in place. My advice is: as a husband, if you're going to have sex, you should support your wife if she becomes pregnant unplanned, regardless of who the father is. The plan should include: 1. Whether to give birth or abort; 2. Whether to deliberately avoid letting the child's "potential father" know; 3. Whether to investigate whether the child is yours. These three questions should be discussed beforehand. As a man, you need to be responsible. Since you've chosen to have sex, if an unplanned pregnancy occurs, please don't make your wife have an abortion (unless your wife is a staunch DINK and insists on abortion). It's best to clearly tell your wife, "Don't abort just because the child might/is definitely not mine." As for whether to do a DNA test and whether to avoid letting the other woman know, that's a matter of personal opinion. My wife now lets me have sex with two other men without contraception, but I haven't gotten pregnant. There was another woman (one of the men's wives) with whom the three of us had sex before, and now she has a child (we've agreed never to investigate who the father is), and we'll start using contraception from now on.Question 4: What if the affair is exposed and everyone knows? Precaution 1: When interacting with multiple friends, conceal your marital/romantic relationship. Minimize interactions with friends who know both of you, and focus on interactions with acquaintances who only know one of you (but maintain long-term, reliable relationships; you can disclose your relationship for safety and excitement). For example, I have a classmate who doesn't know my wife; I could tell him a girl wants to meet up… then my wife goes to meet him… later, we have a threesome, and he doesn't know the girl is my wife. When interacting with multiple friends of your wife, it's not necessary for him to know I'm her husband. Precaution 2: Minimize interactions with multiple friends who know both of you. If he knows both of you before the interaction, it's impossible to hide the marital relationship. Generally, the risk of exposure from such acquaintances is high; be cautious with multiple interactions! However, it's not impossible to interact with such friends; your wife can go on one-on-one dates with him. Precaution 3: Avoid interacting with people who may cause serious conflicts of interest (regardless of whether it's a multiple-person or two-person interaction). (This isn't about just anyone with a conflict of interest, but rather a serious one. For example, if your wife works in a private company, her direct supervisor is usually not someone with a serious conflict of interest, because it's just a job, and you can easily change jobs. It's also unlikely you'll offend your boss and become their enemy. However, your wife's direct subordinates, peers, and suppliers at the company are more dangerous. These are people who often need your wife's favors, and you can't always satisfy their needs. In rare cases, this can lead to a complete falling out and them threatening to spread rumors…) Prevention Measure 4: Focus on two-person interactions rather than group interactions, but the husband shouldn't be too far away. The wife can have one-on-one dates with her new partner. During these dates, she can call her husband to listen in or recount the experience. This is already quite exciting; group interactions don't need to be deliberately pursued. Important note for one-on-one dates: If she has a one-on-one date with a new partner, the husband must be nearby!!! As the saying goes, you can know a person's face but not their heart. A very small number of people may seem very polite in person, but when sexually aroused, they can be extremely savage and violent, disrespecting women's wishes (such as forcing anal sex against their will). Therefore, when meeting a new person for the first time, it's best to do so in a hotel or your own private room rather than their home. If it's a hotel, the husband should ideally follow them there and book a separate room for them as well. The wife should send the room number to her husband and keep them on the phone throughout the encounter (with the husband remaining silent). If it's in your own private room, the husband should wait outside and keep them on the phone the entire time. Precaution 5: Be very careful when choosing a location for group activities! Group activities are best done in private rooms, entire rental properties, or entire guesthouses in tourist areas. If conditions don't allow for this, a hotel suite can be considered cautiously, but avoid regular hotel rooms. Group activities are illegal in China!

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