From the Coolidge Effect to the Dopamine Threshold (Part 2)

The principle behind these two human traits leads to my second topic today—the "dopamine threshold," the minimum threshold at which external stimuli elicit a pleasurable response in humans. To put it more clearly, BDSM is perhaps the most apt example. Normal people find it difficult to accept that being abused is enjoyable, but when mild pain brings a certain level of pleasure, the next time they become dissatisfied with mildness, eventually craving more severe punishment.
This reminds me of matters of the sex world; many people eventually move from mild to extreme, from normal to BDSM. But I advise you not to take that step lightly, because it's a one-way street. Once you do, your threshold increases, and once it's increased, you can only constantly seek more stimulating things to achieve the same feeling…it's a vicious cycle.
Many criminals also descend into this abyss step by step. It starts with simple testing, but the threshold increases, forcing them to pursue more stimulating things, which in turn increases the threshold again…ultimately leading to death. Drug addiction is a prime example.
The essence of life is desire and the boredom that follows, but you can also possess the eye to find interest in the mundane.
Therefore, for things I'm not entirely confident I can control, I generally advise everyone to set a principle for themselves: never start. Only by never starting will you avoid being manipulated by your future "dopamine threshold." A mature person should be able to distinguish right from wrong, benefit from harm, and know what should and shouldn't be done—that is, to be consistent in knowledge and action; this is rationality.
Never harbor wishful thinking, thinking, "I'll just try it once." My dear, there's no such thing as "once is enough." Just one time will trigger your dopamine rush, continuously raising your threshold, leading to a second, third, fourth time… until you head towards the abyss.
Let me give two more examples:
one is about WeChat Reading.
A long time ago, WeChat Reading didn't have any fancy features; everyone used book coins to read. Then there was a task to exchange reading time for book coins: one hour could earn two book coins, and a week could earn ten book coins. To get those ten book coins, some people had to read for more than five hours a week.
One day, someone in the reading group posted a redemption code, saying that copying and pasting it into WeChat Reading would earn 99 book coins. It was true, and we were ecstatic! A few minutes later, another redemption code appeared, saying it could earn 200 book coins. We immediately tried it, and it was true too! The group exploded.
What happened next is probably familiar to everyone: links for 99, 200, 500, and 1000 book coins kept appearing in the group, and everyone frantically claimed their coins.
But during this process, I noticed something very strange: everyone's reaction gradually shifted from initial excitement to numbness.
That week, I had read for a few hours, which would have earned me some book coins, but I didn't redeem them because I felt nothing. My dopamine levels had decreased, and my threshold had increased.
This experience made me realize something profound: people can quickly become accustomed to something and slowly become numb to it.
The second thing is about WeChat Official Accounts.
I remember when I first started my WeChat Official Account, I could only gain 1-2 followers a day. Occasionally, I'd gain 5 followers, and we'd be overjoyed.
Later, we were still happy to gain a dozen or so followers a day; then it became 50, 100, 200, 500, and 1000 followers a day, and we were excited every time we broke through that mark.
But after a period of gaining 1000 followers a day, my heart began to grow numb. Now, gaining 300 followers a day doesn't feel like anything at all.
Because my threshold has increased, the same stimulation no longer gives me the same feeling as before.
From the world of love to the business empire: accepting human nature, mastering human nature, transcending human nature.
The "Coolidge effect" or the "dopamine threshold" seems like an unforgivable demon.
But it's not. The most important lesson I learned from the book "The Road Less Traveled" is to be true to the facts; a mature person should learn to accept the facts, not to run away. Running away doesn't solve problems; it only accumulates them.
When I discussed this with a friend, they said something that deeply resonated with me: "The largest sex organ in humans is the brain; therefore, a human being is a combination of spirit and flesh." Understanding human nature doesn't make us more evil; on the contrary, when we look back on certain things, we become more compassionate and tolerant.
Therefore, we must learn to accept human nature, just as we accept all our imperfections. At the same time, I hope everyone can learn to manage and transcend human nature.
So how can we manage and transcend the "dopamine threshold"?
I. In matters of love:
1. Be tolerant of others, strict with yourself.
The "Coolidge effect" is not a reason for us to be unfaithful; on the contrary, we should be "more compassionate because of understanding." Therefore, the first thing is that, regardless of gender (especially for wives facing husbands who tend to think with their lower bodies), if the other party exhibits some flirtatious behavior, we both hope to be more tolerant with empathy, compassion, and awareness. We don't necessarily have to forgive, but please don't be as extremely resentful or uncritically morally condemning as before. At the same time, be stricter with yourself. Don't be a slave to your genes. Although humans retain this physiological instinct, unlike animals with purely natural attributes, we humans have evolved... The human body has preciously acquired the "neocortex" of the brain, which governs rationality. After all, among all living beings, only humans can consciously use reason to suppress their instincts, being both uncontrollable and self-controlled—this is the root of civilized society. Of course, while enjoying the abundant fruits of civilized society and the Industrial Revolution, humans still yearn to return to the unrestrained world of the primitive jungle. The key is for each of us to find our own balance of happiness. It is suggested that couples objectively make certain concessions in their sexuality (natural attribute) to achieve fulfillment in love (social attribute), rather than hastily parting ways.
2. Continuously Create Freshness
In my consulting work, many girls have told me that they desperately need freshness, so they like men who can constantly bring them novelty. In fact, it's not just them; everyone needs freshness in a romantic relationship.
Specifically, we can try to create freshness in these ways:
? Value rituals; rituals are invaluable sources of freshness.
? Don't be too homebound; travel together frequently.
? Don't be too clingy; maintain a suitable distance.
Regarding sex, emmmm - you decide for yourself.
? Multitalented, such as cooking, guitar, basketball, photography... varies from person to person, the list is endless.
? Broad interests, full of enthusiasm for this beautiful world.
? Never stop striving to become a better version of yourself.
...
3. Never stop striving to become a better version of yourself .
Regarding point 2 above, I want to emphasize this point: Many people pay great attention to their personal image before dating, but after dating or getting married, they stop paying attention to their image and become very sloppy; women start to gain weight and become haggard; men become greasy and develop beer bellies; the two people find each other increasingly unpleasant and lose interest in each other; as a result, men don't want to go home after work and sit in their cars smoking; women start giving their husbands' Rolex watches to their fitness trainers.
Behind all this is actually the loss of interest.
For two people to maintain a lasting sense of freshness in their relationship, they must never stop improving themselves; this is the secret to enduring love. At all times, they should pay attention to their personal image, exercise regularly, and eat healthily. Most importantly, they should never stop learning; this is not only love for their partner but also a pursuit of a fulfilling life.
The true meaning of love is not doing known things with many unknown people, but doing many unknown things with known people.
While everyone needs novelty in love, companionship is the most enduring expression of love, and being loved is the key to obtaining love.
Hopefully, we can all learn to cultivate love and not let the seven-year itch become a habit. Otherwise, when everyone becomes numb, trying to raise the dopamine threshold might be too much of a shock and unmanageable.
II. On Life's Matters
There's a quote from Schopenhauer that I really like: "Life is a jumble of desires; when desires are not satisfied, there is pain; when desires are satisfied, there is boredom. Life swings like a pendulum between pain and boredom."
This is similar to what Oscar Wilde wanted to convey: "There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what you want; the other is getting what you want."
Yes, life is a pendulum of desire, constantly swinging between pain and boredom. We are driven by desire to constantly pursue novelty; however, once we get it, we quickly become accustomed to it and numb. The most typical example is travel. Most people have probably heard the saying: "Travel is nothing more than going from a place you're tired of to a place someone else is tired of."
From this perspective, the essence of life is desire and the boredom that follows desire—it's terrifying to think about.
Dopamine is certainly a necessary hormone for life; accepting it but not being manipulated by the "dopamine threshold" is what we really need to learn.
? Online surfing inspirational quote: Why should I escape my comfort zone when it's so comfortable? —In life, we should know how to be content, and appropriately escaping our comfort zone is not a bad thing.
In today's materialistic society, you are constantly being overdrawn and consumed.
You'd rather lie in bed watching short videos all day than spend time reading a book.
You'd rather play games all night and snore loudly during the day than spend time with your parents.
You'd rather enjoy the convenience others provide than create convenience for others.
Excessive technology often makes people wonder—is it giving you a phone or giving the phone a living person?
...
Indeed, these are your freedoms, but when your dopamine levels become increasingly unsatisfied, you can no longer control it; that's addiction.
Once you're hooked on the poison of comfort, it's hard to shake off the emptiness; there's no limit to the pleasure.
However, over the years, I've still met some truly remarkable people. I'm deeply attracted to them; they can find art, beauty, and the joy of simple living in things we all consider boring, making life interesting. Therefore, I think whether life is interesting or boring ultimately depends on your personal perspective on the world.
If your life is superficial, consisting only of eating, drinking, having fun, and nothing else, then it is indeed very boring. But if your life is passionate, you can constantly discover many fresh and beautiful things, making life very interesting.
Thirdly, regarding self-discipline,
the biggest killers of self-discipline are videos and games, because the people who create them are the best at manipulating dopamine.
Before short videos like TikTok existed, people could still settle down to read books; but now everyone is scrolling through short videos, and everyone has become extremely restless. Forget books, even a good, in-depth article is hard to read. Behind all this is that your dopamine has been manipulated by short videos; your threshold has become very high, and you have to constantly watch the next interesting video to feel the same pleasure.
This is how the world manipulates us, gradually leading us down a path of despair by raising our dopamine threshold. As Huxley wrote in *Amusing Ourselves to Death*, "Mankind will eventually willingly become a slave to entertainment, a species that will die of entertainment."
This isn't impossible. If our dopamine threshold is constantly raised, we will continuously crave more and more stimulating things—a state of insatiable desire. Think about it: our games are becoming increasingly fun, our videos are becoming increasingly sophisticated, and our media is becoming more superficial and fragmented, moving away from rationality and logic…
Fourth,
the final part of the discussion: the business empire.
After talking with a friend the other day, I immediately thought of the application of the dopamine threshold in business.
In fact, we all quickly become accustomed to something and then slowly become numb. At this point, we need more stimulating things to awaken a new sense of comfort. Therefore, the Coolidge effect and the dopamine threshold are often used in business to shorten your so-called "post-coital slump" as much as possible, constantly providing new stimuli to maintain the dopamine threshold, thus keeping you constantly attracted.
For the same thing, each time we repeat it, our threshold increases slightly, requiring a higher stimulus to achieve the same feeling as before. This is the root of the problem. Extending from this root, we can conclude that no matter how good your product or service is, users will never be satisfied. Users will quickly become accustomed to your product and service, and slowly become numb and bored.
For example, when we play games and grind day and night to be number one in the server, until we reach that position and remain unchallenged for a long time, our excitement will turn into endless loneliness. We'll feel that the game is meaningless, nothing special. At this point, the game company will release more powerful equipment, cooler outfits, or even have a GM personally defeat you, all to stimulate your threshold.
I immediately thought of the "dopamine threshold," which is terrifying to think about.
Yes, no matter how good your product, content, or service is, users will never be satisfied, and there's no such thing as loyalty; they will only demand more. I'm reminded of something Bezos once said: people always want more choices, faster logistics, and lower prices.
The underlying logic is actually the "dopamine threshold," meaning that people's desires can never be fully satisfied; once satisfied, they generate even greater desires. If you can't meet these desires, then you're in "danger."
So what about the stimulating, eye-watering photos and sensational content in 69 Paradise? ...
(This article represents only the author's personal stance and opinion; interpretation is subjective.)

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From the Coolidge Effect to the Dopamine Threshold (Part 2)

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