Some thoughts on open marriage

My partner and I were classmates and have been together for almost ten years. At first, it was all passion, but that gradually faded.
Then I confessed to my partner that I wanted to tell her my deepest thoughts, that we shouldn't hide anything from each other.
I told her I'd always had feelings for our old classmate and often masturbated to her.
The story goes like this: my partner and another good friend, let's call her A, were classmates and very good friends. When we first met, I really liked A, but she didn't seem to reciprocate (in fact, A was never proactive in relationships). Later, my partner took the initiative, and I thought she was great, so we got together. At first, we made love every day in the lab, in secluded corners, wearing skirts and no underwear, etc., incredibly passionate. But
then the passion gradually faded, and I'd always harbored a strong desire for sex. I slowly discussed with my partner the idea that we were soulmates, focusing on physical enjoyment, and then I told her I wanted to tell her my deepest thoughts, that we shouldn't hide anything from each other. I believe many people have had similar experiences.
At first, my partner reacted strongly, saying how could I have such thoughts? But gradually, she accepted my ideas and started to cooperate with me.
During sex, we started fantasizing about other people, most often A, having A lick me, or me fucking A, etc. Then I would join in with other men fucking my wife. She was usually incredibly wet, orgasming more easily, and she enjoyed it very much.
Then my wife would proactively pretend to be other people for me to fuck, sometimes her sister, sometimes her junior. I prefer petite women, but my wife is taller. There was a junior who was delicate, and she would stare at me every time she saw her. Later
, my wife gradually opened up. She told me she wanted to try women. She's a bit bisexual, so later during sex, we added new fantasies, like other women licking her, etc.
But all of that remained just a fantasy. Until my birthday, my wife asked me what I wanted. While I was fucking her, I said I wanted to fuck my old friend A. My wife agreed and even said she wanted to see it with her own eyes. After sex, I confirmed this with my wife, because women often go back on their word after sex.
My wife really agreed.
A was also in the same city as us. Later, I went to have dinner with A alone. I took the initiative to ask her if she had ever felt that I liked her before. I told her that she actually liked me back then too, but she just didn't take the initiative. When my partner and I officially announced our relationship, A even cried. I hugged A and kissed her then. A was also married and wasn't as shy as before. Also, the social circles of Chinese people here are generally all Chinese. Besides, after 30, you only have a few friends, and there's a strong sense of mutual dependence. After a few more interactions, A and I slept together, and I told my partner everything. My partner held me tightly that day. I told my partner to invite A over for dinner, and I would have sex with my partner in the room.

That day was truly unforgettable. A came for dinner, specifically telling her that he had something to say and only letting her come alone. We ate dinner and drank some wine in the living room, and after chatting for a long time, my wife excused herself to change clothes and went into the room. I kissed A then, and A was startled. Then I excused myself to go find my wife, and we had sex in the room. My wife deliberately couldn't hold back and made noises. To avoid keeping A waiting, I estimated I'd ejaculate in less than 10 minutes. When I came out, A's face was flushed. My wife and I pretended nothing was wrong, chatted with her for a while, and drank some more. Then I kissed A directly. A was stunned, staring blankly at my wife. My wife talked to her for a while, and I, emboldened, hugged and kissed A. Then my wife excused herself to the bathroom, and I carried A back to the room. A resisted a little, but I held her, stroking her back to help her relax and close her eyes, continuing to kiss her. She gradually relaxed, and by the time I penetrated her, she was completely aroused. Later, my wife came in too. My wife definitely has bisexual tendencies; she has smaller breasts, while A's are probably a C cup. My wife touched A's breasts, and A opened her eyes in surprise. Then I thrust even harder, and A closed her eyes again. Because I had just ejaculated, I couldn't ejaculate for a long time. That time, I fucked A for at least half an hour. A probably hadn't experienced anything this exciting before, but she seemed to enjoy it a lot. Later, she could even joke around with my wife in bed, and the two of them would compete to see who could play with my penis the most. Our relationship as a whole improved.

A was our starting point. Later, my wife flirted with younger girls, and listening to her describe how they touched each other, I would usually ejaculate very quickly. Later, we went on a road trip with another couple of good friends. My wife and I often made suggestive jokes with them. Eventually, we ended up chatting in the same room. I was covered by the blanket, and then I touched my wife, and then, covered by the blanket, I penetrated her. They seemed to notice something. Later, my wife and I made love under the blanket. They were a little embarrassed at first, but we said it didn't matter, we were all so familiar with each other. But they were also getting a little tired of watching porn. My wife and I were making love, and they were watching us, and they would chat for a bit. The next day, after dinner, we went back to my room to chat and play Mario Party on the Switch. I touched my wife, and then I penetrated her again. This time, however, my friends started kissing too. I asked my wife to move her body slightly, giving them half of her space. They covered themselves with another blanket and started having sex with her as well. During the process, we teased each other, telling each other to be rougher. Afterwards, we all laughed awkwardly, drank some water, and continued to reflect on what had just happened. Then I rubbed my penis against my wife's genitals again. This time there was no blanket, and my wife was wearing a nightgown. I lifted her up, and they saw directly. My wife closed her eyes, and my friends continued, again without a blanket. When I was almost inside, I moved my wife a little so my friend could touch her buttocks. My friend touched my wife's buttocks while having sex with his wife, and I touched hers too. My friend's wife glanced at me, then continued to enjoy it with her eyes closed. I pulled my penis out of my wife and went to my friend's wife, kissing her waist and neck directly. My friend's wife was a little startled, then glanced at me, then at her husband, and then closed her eyes again without saying a word. When I kissed my friend's wife's breasts, my hand simultaneously pressed on her clitoris. At this time, my wife was also lying down, smiling and watching us. I said to my friend, "Should we go over there?" My friend understood, pulled out his penis, changed the condom, and inserted it into my wife. My friend's wife also felt my penis being pulled out, opened her eyes and looked at her husband. I continued to touch her clitoris at the same time. She didn't say anything and kept her eyes closed. Seeing this, I changed the condom too and inserted it directly. My friend's wife's sensations became even more intense. After it was over, we continued our post-coital discussion, joking with each other. For the next two nights, the four of us would have sex together.

After opening up, I enjoy life more spiritually and can care more for my partner. With others, it's just physical, and there might be some emotional involvement. But with my wife, it's more exciting, and I can see it, so there's less of a sense of unease. Even if my wife is with younger women, I'll have her listen on audio.

Regarding casual sex, for me, sex without feelings is meaningless. It's better to be open and talk to my wife directly about having sex with acquaintances. Sex with friends already has an emotional foundation, but we can't enjoy it because of societal constraints. Breaking that shackle makes us understand each other better, and there's no need to hide it anymore. Putting the time and energy I would spend on casual sex with friends, with that emotional foundation and purpose, makes it more enjoyable. However, it's important to be more attentive to my wife's feelings; women are often sensitive.

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Some thoughts on open marriage

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