Success cannot be replicated

1) Discovery of the Interest:
I didn't know I had a cuckold fetish before I had a girlfriend. The first time was probably when my wife was pregnant before we got married. I took her for a checkup, and we encountered a male intern doctor. My wife was firmly against it, but the female gynecologist scolded her, saying, "We're both doctors, what are you yelling about?" My wife stopped insisting and just turned her head away in shame, pretending not to know anything. So, the male student (an intern) who was initially too afraid to approach my wife (as soon as she went in, she was made to take off her pants, spread her legs, and lie on her back on the examination bed). Now, that boy slowly walked over, and I watched from behind the low screen. Unexpectedly, four or five more boys followed behind, all looking like students, wearing glasses, their politeness so irritating I found it repulsive. They got closer and closer, even reaching out and bending down to touch my wife's vagina. They kept touching and looking. The female doctor was explaining things to her. The boys seemed to understand very slowly, looking and looking but still not getting it. I was very angry, but too embarrassed to say anything. My penis unexpectedly became hard, and I couldn't bear it any longer, so I went to the toilet, otherwise I would have ejaculated in my pants. When I came back, my wife had already come out, her face flushed. I didn't say anything, and neither did she, my heart still pounding. That night, I asked my wife how she felt, and her shyness greatly aroused my sexual desire. From then on, I had a desire to let others see my wife and to have sex with her.
2) I started fantasizing that
my wife and I were both virgins when we started dating. I had no experience with sex. During sex, my wife likes to spread her legs wide, but I feel more comfortable when she closes them. Also, my wife's mons pubis is quite high, and it feels a bit awkward against me. I kept wondering if other women are like that too? I also thought that my wife is so beautiful, and I'm not handsome or tall, so I might be treating her unfairly. I asked her if she would resist if she slept with someone else, and whether taller men would make her feel better. My wife is very innocent and loves me very much. She knew I didn't mean anything by it, so she wasn't angry. She just said she couldn't sleep with other men, that would be betraying me. I told her that I didn't think it was betrayal, as long as she felt comfortable, and I knew she loved me. I would even like it if she played around with other men.
Every time, my wife would disagree. But one time she said, "How could I?" I could tell she wasn't averse to it anymore.
3) When I started to put
this into practice, I thought of my best friend. He's very tall, innocent, and doesn't have a girlfriend yet. He saw me talking about love and asked me if we'd done it, how we did it, what positions we used, whether it was morning or night, etc. I was too embarrassed to answer. I said, "How about you do it with her, then you'll know." He said, "You can't mess with your friend's wife, that won't do, especially since you're newly married." Later, I thought I'd let it go. But the next day he came back and said, "Then you talk to her, I'll try it sometime." He said he couldn't sleep last night after hearing that. He thought my wife was as beautiful as a fairy, and he'd die for her after just one time. I said okay. He said, "But I can't be there."
4) Later, he started approaching my wife. She had always had a good influence on him, so it was easy for him to get close. He suggested kissing her, but she flatly refused. He came to me and asked, "Did you tell her or not?" I said I did. The second time he went, my wife just asked if he really told her, and he said yes. My wife said, "Okay, then you have to treat me to dinner first." They had dinner together before, and then my wife said, "Don't come home." That night I wasn't home, and they did it. When I found out they actually did it, I was devastated. I stayed in bed for two days and didn't go to work. My heart ached so much. My wife cried and said, "Hit me." But how could I? I was the one who said it. She didn't want to. I had to coax her again and again until she finally succeeded. I just didn't expect that even after it actually happened, my heart would still ache. She said, "Then tell your friends never to come again." I said, "Okay."
5) In the end, as soon as I went on a business trip, my friend went again. Because of the previous incident, my wife couldn't refuse him. So my friend maintained this relationship with my wife for four years until he got married. Only then did my wife firmly refuse to let him sleep with her anymore.
6) Although the truth still hurts, during sex, I always pressed my wife to tell me the details of my friend. I was very excited when I heard it, and I worked much harder during sex.
7) Later, I wanted to have a stranger sleep with my wife. But she wouldn't accept it anymore. I could only secretly video chat with her while she was sleeping so my friend could see her naked. I found it a little exciting, but it still wasn't enough. I wonder if, one day, a stranger actually manages to have sex with her, would she feel both excitement and heartache? I think I'm conflicted when it comes to sex. When I'm not sexually aroused at work or in my daily life, I can't stand seeing others flirt with or get close to my wife. But when I'm sexually aroused, I wish my wife could have sex with any man... ???

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