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The final step I couldn't take: finally understanding where I was stuck. 

Yesterday, while reading a post on 69.com, I suddenly had an epiphany and understood why this final step had been stuck for so many years—it turned out she was missing someone to push her down. For
two people to be standing comfortably together on the bed, one of them has to push the other down. Obviously, this task can only be done by a man. I was only thinking of persuading my wife to be more open-minded, but I didn't consider that even the most open-minded woman is still a woman. Expecting a woman to actively pull a man onto her is indeed a bit excessive, unless she is extremely open-minded or willing to give everything for this man. The person
who would push her down is unlikely to be a man she already knows well. After all, she hasn't done it in so many years. If things have progressed to that point, the man would also have concerns—fear of a criminal case, fear of being sued, fear of never being friends again.
Two people standing there peacefully, to turn into someone lying across the bed, one of them has to push the other down. Obviously, this task can only be done by the man. I was only thinking of persuading my wife to be more open-minded, but I didn't consider that even the most open-minded woman is still a woman. Expecting a woman to actively pull a man onto her is indeed a bit excessive, unless she is extremely uninhibited or willing to give everything for this man. The one
who would push her down is unlikely to be a man she already knows well; after all, they haven't done it in so many years. If things have progressed to that point, the man would also have concerns—fear of a criminal case, fear of being sued, fear of never being friends again.

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