My Reflections at 69 (Part 2)

Actually, my feelings have been very complicated these past few days since joining 69. I don't know if my decision to join 69 was right or wrong. I don't know if I should continue down this path. I don't know if continuing will lead to a brighter future or an abyss. I don't know...
These past few days, I've carefully read everyone's experiences, insights, and reflections on 69. My feelings are a mix of trepidation, excitement, and anticipation... I've also added a few 69 friends on QQ, but chatting with them left me speechless, disheartened, and disappointed.
As a married single woman, taking this step is very difficult for me; there are so many concerns. During this process, I've been constantly going through cycles of self-exile and self-redemption. Please forgive me if this has caused you any trouble or displeasure. Due to work, I can't always be online on QQ. I will generally reply to messages when I see them.
My ideal partner is a non-smoker, well-mannered man with a stable job, preferably under 40 years old. If we click, that's also fine. Please do not contact me if you do not agree, thank you.
I am a newbie with no experience, please forgive any shortcomings.

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My Reflections at 69 (Part 2)

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