Can you hold back your laughter?

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-16

1. Swallowing a sword
After a client finished his transaction with a prostitute, he kept praising her skills, asking where she learned them. The prostitute replied, "As long as the client is happy, that's all that matters. I learned these skills in the circus!" The client asked, "If you can learn these skills in the circus, what do you perform?" The prostitute said, "Sword swallowing."
2. This is a watch.
A middle-aged woman, unable to satisfy her desires, went to a Friday's restaurant to find a gigolo for special services. The gigolo, unable to resist the woman's lustful demands, quickly became exhausted and failed to perform. Less than half an hour later, he had to fulfill her request again, nearly breathless with exhaustion. Unexpectedly, the woman then requested a third round of special services. Unable to regain his virility, the gigolo could only agree to provide oral sex and targeted massage with his fingers. At first, she seemed to enjoy his services, keeping her eyes closed and repeatedly urging him to go deeper. Suddenly, she cried out, "Hey! You're hurting me! Take off your ring!" The gigolo smiled wryly, "Miss, I'm not wearing a ring, this is a watch!"
3. Revenge
A man returned from a business trip and caught his wife having an affair with his neighbor's husband. Enraged, he knocked on the neighbor's door and told her, "Your husband is cheating on my wife!" "This is outrageous! We have to get revenge!" the neighbor's wife said, pulling him into the room, undressing, and engaging in passionate lovemaking. Soon after, the two lay on the bed resting. A few minutes later, the neighbor's wife said again, "How about it? Let's get revenge one more time!" This went on for four times. When the neighbor's wife asked for a fifth time, the man staggered to his feet and said, "That's enough! I don't hate them anymore..."
4. The understated washing machine
A pair of reserved parents used "doing laundry" as a code word for their intimate act. One day, the father suddenly wanted to do laundry, so he told his son, "Go tell Mom I want to do laundry." But when the son went to tell his mother, she was in a bad mood and told him, "Tell Dad the washing machine is broken..." So the son ran to tell his father. But after a while, the mother felt bad for Dad and called her son back, saying, "Go tell Dad the washing machine is fixed." A little while later, the son ran back to his mother and said, "Dad told me to tell you he's already washed it all by hand."
5. A hard hymen
A couple was having an affair. After the man hastily finished, he said apologetically, "Your hymen is very strong! Darling, if I had known you were a virgin beforehand, I wouldn't have been in such a hurry."
“If you weren’t in such a rush,” the woman said sullenly, “I would have just taken off my underwear.”
6. Sexual behavior survey
An expert believed that the more sexually active a person is, the happier, more energetic, and the more smiles they have. He told his audience, "If you doubt this, let's conduct a survey. Raise your hand if you have sex every day!" Sure enough, those who raised their hands appeared significantly happier than the others in the room. "Raise your hand if you have sex once a week." More hands went up, and these people seemed okay, but not as much as those who had sex once a week. "Then, raise your hand if you have sex once a month?!" At this point, those who raised their hands didn't seem to be smiling much, so the expert's theory seemed correct. Finally, the expert asked, "Anyone who has sex once a year? Raise your hand if you have sex once a year?!" One audience member actually raised their hand. Now, the question arose! This person looked very excited, smiling broadly, seemingly the happiest person in the room. The expert was quite puzzled; why didn't this person conform to his theory? So the expert asked him the reason for his happiness. The person said excitedly, "Because... it's tonight! It's tonight!"
7.30 cm
Newlywed Ms. Ding asked the old doctor:
"Doctor, there's something I'd like to ask you."
She asked shyly, "What's the proper name for the tip of a man's penis?"
The old doctor replied, "It's commonly called the glans penis."
"Then, what are those two round things called 30 centimeters behind the glans?" Ms. Ding asked again.
"The thing 30 centimeters behind?" The old doctor glared at Ms. Ding. "Although I don't know what kind of physique your husband has, I call that kind of thing his buttocks."
8. Hard and hiring workers
A factory owner was notorious for his stinginess and meanness. One night, he and his wife were making out in bed. He squeezed her breast and sighed, "Ah... if only milk flowed from here, we wouldn't have to raise so many dairy cows." His wife was furious. A little while later, he pinched her buttocks and sighed, "Ah... if only eggs laid here, we wouldn't have to raise so many chickens!" His wife was enraged. She grabbed his penis hard and sighed, "Ah... if only it could get hard." The husband was puzzled and asked, "Why?" His wife said, "Then we wouldn't have to hire so many workers!"
9. The uses of the two "mouth" radicals
A company was hiring a female secretary... Later, four women applied... The general manager then asked them a witty question... to explain the difference between an upper and lower mouth...
The first one said: The opening at the top is for eating... the opening at the bottom is for drinking milk...
The second one said: The top is horizontal... the bottom opening is vertical.
The third one said: The upper opening won't bleed... but the lower opening bleeds once a month...
The fourth woman said: "The top opening is for my own use... the bottom opening is for the general manager's use..." As a result, the general manager hired the fourth woman...
10. The similarities and differences between women and refrigerators
Women and refrigerators have one thing in common: both can hold meat.

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Can you hold back your laughter?

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