[Not only is it hilariously bad, but it's also educational!]

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-20

1. "I have a buddy who used to be involved in organized crime. He was dirt poor, but he quit and is now very wealthy."
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"Wow, how did he make his fortune?"
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"Sell the basin."
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2. I was buying cold medicine at the pharmacy when a handsome guy came in and said he wanted to buy a life detector. The clerk was confused. He asked him what he wanted, and the guy sheepishly admitted he wanted a pregnancy test. Haha, I really learned something new!
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3. Buy a bouquet of roses and wait outside the girls' dormitory. If you see someone you like, go up to them and say, "Hello, I'm delivering flowers. These are from your boyfriend."
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If a girl says, "Huh? I don't have a boyfriend?"
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You could say, "Oh, you're not xxx? Then consider these flowers a gift from me, let's chat!"
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If you say, "Wow, my boyfriend is so great! Thank you!"
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You can quietly add, "Thank you, the total is 100 yuan, cash on delivery..."
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4. My colleague boiled two eggs at home and brought them to the office to eat. He ate the eggs while drinking tea.
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I asked him, "What kind of way is this? Eating eggs with tea?"
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This idiot smugly said, "I'm eating a tea egg."
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5. "The more exquisite the food, the more likely it is to be liked by the public." In the kitchen, the old chef is patiently teaching his young apprentice.
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The young apprentice nodded, seemingly understanding, and asked, "What kinds of foods are suitable for menstruation?"
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"Mao Xue Wang"
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Damn it, I'm never eating Mao Xue Wang again!
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6. At a restaurant, a customer came in for lunch and called out to the owner, "One bowl of beef noodles, a little thin, no soup."
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The boss said "Okay," and then went to the kitchen.
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A moment later, a chef came out carrying a cleaver: "Hey kid, come here, teach me how to do it."
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7. Today I went shopping and passed by a store with a sign that read: Tmall Physical Store, Free Gifts for Entering.
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I was secretly delighted and went inside to ask the owner, "What do you give away for free?"
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The shop owner glanced at me and said: "Buy something and get a smile; don't buy anything and get out!"
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8. A girl and her goofy boyfriend were shopping when they walked into a two-dollar store. The loudspeaker kept announcing everything was two dollars! The boyfriend earnestly pointed to the shop owner and asked, "Is the shop owner's wife also two dollars?" The owner gave the girl a lecherous look… and weakly replied, "The shop owner's wife offers free trade-ins!"
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9. Once on a train, a guy took off his shoes, and the smell was incredibly strong. The guy opposite him said, "This smell has seeped into my heart."
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My goofy roommate, who was traveling with me on the train, woke up and yelled, "Train conductor, did the toilet explode?"
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10. It just got a little warmer today, so I took off my shirt again. My wife asked me why I took it off, and I tried to sound sophisticated, but I ended up saying "ducks are the first to know when the river warms in spring," and I regretted it as soon as I said it.
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11. Before leaving the house, I asked my husband, "Does this outfit look good?"
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Husband replied: "It looks good!"
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I asked again, "Do these shoes fit me?"
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My husband said, "It's perfect!"
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...No matter what clothes I wear, my husband always takes a good look at me and then compliments me on my beauty.
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I casually asked him, "Why do you think I look beautiful no matter what I wear?"
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My husband said weakly, "If I say it doesn't look good, you'll just go and buy a new one!"
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12. I bought a dress while shopping today. I wanted my husband to reimburse me, so I bought him a pair of underwear instead. When we got home, he asked how much the underwear cost. I replied, "280 yuan, anti-radiation ones." My husband has been researching underwear ever since!
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13. After taking a shower, I sat on the bed, patted my thighs, and asked my wife: How are my legs?
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My wife chuckled and said to me with a longing look, "Honey, I don't like pork leg meat, I like pork belly!"
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I...

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[Not only is it hilariously bad, but it's also educational!]

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