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Home >> 40 黄色笑话>> Hey bro, I didn't bring any m...
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Hey bro, I didn't bring any money. How about I pay for your travel expenses by having sex with you? 

    page views:1  Publication date:2022-04-24  
no.1
My boyfriend isn't very good-looking, but he's very thoughtful and treats me exceptionally well. This year was the first time he took me home for Chinese New Year. His family wasn't very welcoming. After dinner, we all sat in the living room watching TV. When my boyfriend went to the bathroom, his dad secretly asked me, "Girl, how much did you pay for the rental?"
no.2
I met a guy while playing games. We chatted occasionally on QQ. He had a high-paying job, and from our conversations, I felt he was a good person—gentle, considerate, and polite. I really liked him. One time, he asked me curiously, "Why do you always type a bunch of random characters when we chat?" I replied helplessly, "Ugh! My chest is pressing against the keyboard again!" Later, I became his girlfriend…
no.3
A woman told me she'd slept with five men and was still a virgin. All I could do was yell at her: "You son of a bitch, that's a tempered glass screen protector!"
No. 4
Last night I ran out of toilet paper at home, so I went downstairs to the supermarket to buy some. It was so late that there were only a few people there. When I was in line to pay, the guys in front of me were all holding Durex condoms, but I was the only one holding a roll of toilet paper. I'll never forget the look the cashier gave me.
no.5
My girlfriend spent Chinese New Year at my house this year. Last night, I saw her sitting there quietly watching TV, not using her phone. I asked her, "Why aren't you using your phone?" She said, "My phone's dead, how can I use it?" I said, "Are you stupid? Charge it!" After a while, she silently lay down on the bed, not moving at all. I asked her again, "What's wrong?" She said, "My phone's dead too!"
No. 6
Me: Honey, how does it feel when we do *hehe*? Girlfriend: Like a bus. Me: You mean I'm amazing? Girlfriend: No, I just want you to walk a little further inside, it's empty!
no.7
The teacher told us, "Class, if you can't concentrate on learning, you have to force yourself to!" One student retorted, "Teacher, what if I can't force myself to learn?" "..."
No. 8
My friend slept with a guy. They chatted online for about two weeks before meeting in person, and they went to a hotel on their first meeting. They went every Saturday and Sunday after that, and this continued for several months. My friend told the guy she hadn't had her period for over a month, and the very next day, she couldn't find him. A few days ago, my friend confessed to her parents, and she cried the whole time. That night, I secretly bought her a pregnancy test, and it turned out she was pregnant. The next day, I skipped class to talk to her about it. She said the guy was very, very good to her. I said, "He's good to you, but isn't he just using you?" After hearing that, she burst into tears, threw her hand on the table, and smashed my cheap phone on the floor, cracking the screen! So I'm asking everyone: Do you know anyone who repairs phones? How much does it cost to replace the screen? Can you give me a discount?
no.9
Several thugs boarded the bus, shouting, "All the women get off with us, we won't hurt anyone else!" Later, when the police arrived, they interviewed a woman who had bravely fought off the thugs: "What gave you the courage to fight them?" The woman replied, "Damn it, they took all the women on the bus, leaving me all alone!!!"
no.10
It was my first time booking a hotel room with my girlfriend, and I was incredibly nervous. I couldn't get in no matter what I tried. After several attempts, my girlfriend said helplessly, "Forget it, let's ask the staff for help. Maybe the room key is broken."
no.11
A beautiful woman took my taxi. When we arrived at her destination, she said to me, "Brother, I didn't bring any money. How about I pay for the ride by having sex with you?" I firmly replied, "No way!" The woman said somewhat angrily, "Such a beautiful and nice girl, with a great figure and a pretty face. Your taxi fare is only thirty yuan, and she's willing to have sex with you. You're getting a great deal, and you don't even want it?" I said, "You want to have sex without paying? There's no such thing as a free lunch." Do you all think I did the right thing?

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