Three jokes about washing your face, etc.

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1. Washing Face:
There was a man named Zheng Xiding who loved gambling. He either stayed out all night or went out early in the morning. On New Year's Eve, his wife woke up and couldn't find him. She was very worried. Where had he gone for the New Year? Oh! Maybe he went to his father's house. Just then, they arrived at her father-in-law's house. Coincidentally, her father-in-law was washing his face. She asked, "Father-in-law? Where's Xiding?" When the old man didn't answer, she asked again, "Father-in-law, where's Xiding?" After a while, the old man still didn't answer, so he became impatient: "Father-in-law? Where's Zheng Xiding?" At this moment, the old man said with an angry face, "Washing face!"
And then... and then... that was it.
Comment: Unlucky name, unlucky parents, bad people hold grudges when naming their children. 2. Driving School Infernal Affairs:
Before practicing driving, the instructor asked me to check how much gas was left. I unscrewed the gas cap and looked for a long time but couldn't see clearly because the light was too dim. I instinctively reached for my lighter and brought it close to the gas tank opening. Just as I was about to press the button, my instructor kicked me away. Damn, that instructor has a terrible temper! I barely managed to hold back my anger. Later, during driving practice, we were going downhill, and in a moment of panic, I slammed on the gas. The instructor yelled, "Brake!! Use the foot brake!" I quickly opened the car door, put one foot on the ground, and started dragging it along like a devil! After dragging it for over 20 meters, it finally stopped! The instructor was terrified and gave me ten yuan to buy him a tube of Zhonghua cigarettes to calm my nerves! I was really confused; why would someone use toothpaste to calm their nerves? When I handed him the Zhonghua toothpaste, he silently refunded my entire tuition, saying, "There's another one next door." I said I was from that other one...
Comment: Undercover agent! Is this a recommendation for Infernal Affairs? Driving schools are so shady; it's rare to see such a competitor. 3. The three brothers
Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei went on a trip to Africa and were captured by a tribe of primitive people. The chief said that each of the three of them should find 10 fruits of a certain kind. Zhang Fei returned first and found 10 apples. The chief ordered him to insert the apples into his anus. If he didn't die, he would be released. Zhang Fei inserted two apples and died. Guan Yu found 10 jujubes and endured the pain to insert 9 jujubes into his anus. Suddenly, he burst into uncontrollable laughter. The chief was furious and killed Guan Yu. Guan Yu and Zhang Fei met in heaven. Zhang Fei asked Guan Yu, "Second brother, you were about to succeed, why were you laughing?" Guan Yu said, "I saw my eldest brother come back carrying 10 durians."

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Three jokes about washing your face, etc.

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