Humorous Anecdotes of a Couple

page views:1 Publication date:2022-05-16

1. My wife suffers from severe menstrual cramps. Every month, she experiences several days of excruciating pain, her face turning pale. One day, my pitiful belly said to me, "Honey, can I leave my uterus with you for a few days? You can give it back to me afterward." Uh... honey, there's really no way to deal with that...
2. I was browsing the internet in the study while my wife was watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, she happily ran over and gave me a little kiss, then quickly sat down on the floor and said in a spoiled tone, "Honey, I'm so tired, can you carry me back to the living room?" Honey, I know you just really wanted a hug.
3. My wife touches my... uh... little jj every night before going to sleep. I asked her why, and she said she needs to check the equipment, otherwise she can't fall asleep. -_-||| When did I become equipment?
4. Before we got married, my wife was an incredibly innocent little girl. After we got married, I tricked her into watching adult films (you know what I mean), and with the influence of various wicked things on Qiubai (a popular Chinese humor website), she became quite fierce. However, she's only fierce in front of me. One weekend, my workplace notified me of a meeting. I was reluctant but had to go. While picking up my pen and notebook to take notes, I complained, "They don't even let me rest on weekends, sigh... I'll just grab something to look cool (I mean, the pen and notebook)." My wife heard me, ran to get her panty box, and innocently said, "Honey, you can pick one you like to take." I didn't even realize what was happening... Qiubai, give me back my little girl...
5.老婆身体不好，有先天心脏病，没结婚的时候陪她去检查，医生建议以后不要宝宝，老婆哭着回家了，接下来一个星期都不理我，手机不开，只在qq上说要跟我分手，一个星期之后带着个她的好朋友来见我了，说要把她朋友介绍给我当女朋友……她朋友一听就崩溃了，说“本来以为你男朋友欺负你，准备来帮你揍他的……你这样让我多尴尬！”老婆你这个傻丫头，就算我们不能有宝宝，我也只爱你一个
6. A couple is playing a guessing game about food. The wife acts out the names while the husband guesses. The word "steamed bun" appears on the big screen.
Wife's description: Round, white, and edible.
husband:……
The wife continued to describe: It was white and soft, and you ate it last night!
My husband seemed really anxious and blurted out, "Mimi!"
Li Yong was laughing so hard he almost fell over...
The word "vinegar" appeared on the big screen.
Husband: What do women like to eat most about men?
Wife (excitedly): Tofu!!
7. In the word guessing game, the person acting out the words asks: What horse did Guan Yu ride in Romance of the Three Kingdoms? If the person guessing doesn't know, the person acting out the words gives a hint: Think again, Lu Bu also rode this horse.
The person who guessed shouted: It's Diao Chan!
He gestured angrily: "Are you stupid? I meant riding it during the day!"
Old Li burst out laughing!
8. A couple was guessing historical artifacts; the wife acted out the clues while the husband guessed. The words "Diamond Sutra" appeared on the big screen.
Wife's description: It's been around since ancient times and is very famous.
husband:…………
My wife continued describing: It's that nun who chants every month...
The husband seemed to understand and blurted out, "Menstruation."
Li Yong exclaimed, "My God! Director, cut this!"
9. It's the same couple again, guessing the name of an item. The wife acts it out while the husband guesses. The word "v3 phone" pops up on the big screen.
Wife's description: There's a pink one, the most popular one this year, the one you bought for me.
husband:…………
His wife continued describing: "That beautiful Sharapova also used it, and it's my favorite." Then, her husband, going all out, blurted out: "Sexy lingerie."
Poor Li Yong burst out laughing again...
10. A husband and wife are playing a guessing game. The husband acts out the colors while the wife guesses.
The word "white" appeared on the big screen.
The husband kept gesturing, but the wife still didn't understand...
The husband got anxious, so...
Husband's description: Li Yong's underwear!

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