Short joke

page views:1 Publication date:2022-05-18

1. A comrade was hospitalized, and we took turns visiting him, each bringing fruit. The hospitalized patient was quite generous, tossing fruit to each patient for them to try. Just then, a pretty nurse came in, and the guy threw her a banana. The nurse said demurely, "I don't eat." The guy casually replied, "It's not for you to eat, it's for you to play with!" He was immediately hit in the face by the banana thrown back, and collapsed... nosebleed profusely. 2. I went on a blind date today and asked the girl, "How old are you?" She proudly replied, "34C." 3. Today at school's sports meet, during the 400x400 relay, a guy passed the baton to a girl. Seeing the guy approaching, the girl got into position to catch it. However, she swung her left hand back, grabbing the guy's penis and running forward... the whole place erupted... 4. A pilot was preparing for his physical exam. A promising guy came out looking dejected after the exam. We asked, "How did it go?" He replied, "Damn, I failed." "Huh?" How could that be? You haven't passed yet? Hmm, what went wrong? My heart. Huh? What's wrong with your heart? Damn! The nurse who checked my heartbeat was a D-cup, and after the test, she said it was an arrhythmia... 5. My friend's wife gave birth today. When I went to visit her at the hospital, I passed by the pediatric ward and saw a 1-year-old child whose father had played with his penis until it was inflamed... 6. Once, we were all discussing how much "stock" we had on our computers. Everyone said how many gigabytes of movies they had. Then we asked my friend how much he had, and he calmly replied, "20g." Everyone laughed at him for having such a small amount. Later, my friend very calmly added, "Seeds"... 7. My husband went to a bar last night, and I was feeling upset at home. It was 2 AM, so I sent him a text message telling him to come home and hand in his homework (you know what I mean). After a while, there was no response, so I called him, but he hung up and turned off his phone. Just as I was feeling annoyed, an unknown number sent me a message: I've collected your homework for you! 8. When I was little, I was playing with some girls from next door... Then a jet of water gushed out from somewhere... I told everyone... It's groundwater... It's very sweet... So I took the lead and drank it... Everyone drank it too... They all said it was very sweet... Then we went home... Later, my mother said that the septic tank in the toilet next door was clogged... I was very calm at the time... 9. I think it was first or second grade, I must have eaten something wrong at noon, and my stomach was cramping terribly all afternoon. All sorts of ridiculous worries as a child prevented me from going to the toilet, and I will never forget the torment I suffered that afternoon. Walking home from school, it was still a long way, and I couldn't walk slowly or fast, so I had to hold back my tears and shuffle home. When I was halfway home, I finally broke down, and a warm poop shot down my pants leg and onto the ground, it really "shot," leaving a warm trail for me in the autumn air. My neighbor aunt was just walking towards me from her grocery store... "Little 7!" she called out, "Look at your feet! You stepped on dog poop!" At that moment, my feelings were extremely complicated.

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