When one is in trouble, all lend a hand.

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1. Just learned a new phrase: "When one is in trouble, all lend a thumbs up."

2. Just heard a profound statement: "Chinese football and football are not the same sport at all."

3. "When you're successful, you're cunning all over the world; when you're poor, you're alone in your misery.

" 4. The most painful love triangle in the world: I love food, and fat loves me.

5. Taobao has many stories, full of joy and laughter. If you come to Taobao, you'll gain a lot.

6. Before, I always thought that when I had money, I would put it in my bank account to avoid spending it recklessly. Since online shopping came along... damn it... I'd better keep it in my pocket!

7. There are actually many ways to please a girl. Since you're not handsome enough, not attractive enough, and haven't developed any charm, and you're too busy with work to spend more time with her, why not earn more money and try getting a new girlfriend?

8. Just saw photos of an old classmate on social media, and it made me deeply realize that even an ugly duckling can become an ugly old duck.

9. If one or two people say you're bad, it might be their problem. But if everyone says you're bad, then it's definitely their problem.

10. Women over 36 who are still enthusiastic about organizing class reunions are either very well-married or divorced and haven't found someone new yet.

11. Wife: Honey, time flies! I'm forty already! I'm getting old!

Husband: You bet?

Wife: Am I going to become a haggard old woman?

Husband: No! I've never heard of 'a woman at forty is like tofu...'

Wife: Huh? Husband

: Tofu pudding!

Wife: You mean I'm fair and tender?

Husband: Loose and soft!

Wife: Get lost! You want a beating?

12. A fly laboriously carried a piece of dung to its doorstep, panting heavily. Other flies asked, puzzled, "Why don't you just go to the toilet? It'll be warm!" The fly, still panting, replied, "I've never heard of 'a fly without foresight will have immediate worries'! Besides, if you don't work hard when you're young, you'll regret it when you're old! I can't wait until I'm too old to fly and have no one to rely on!"

13. I was sitting by West Lake drinking with Jack Ma, discussing the acquisition of Walmart, when suddenly Shinzo Abe called to say something had happened in Japan. Damn it, this guy ruined our perfectly good drinking session. Fine, I sent a WeChat message to Obama. Just after sending it, I heard Bill Gates was coming to visit. Holy crap, can't a person get a break? But I still had to see my friend. Fan Bingbing is such a pain in the ass, saying she had to have menstrual irregularities at this time and I had to go to the hospital with him. Then Einstein said he had some physics questions to ask me. Damn, why am I so busy today? I just gave Einstein some pointers, and Kim Jong-un invited me to Wanda Plaza. Let's sit in the coffee shop. Finally, a weekend! Can't a person even rest? Forget it, no meeting. I'll continue discussing the Walmart acquisition with Jack Ma. Hey Putin, why do I have to go play basketball at your place now? Kobe, what's wrong now? Didn't we agree to go to Jordan's place tomorrow? Oh, Jay Chou, yesterday Andy Lau and Jacky Cheung said they wanted me to teach them singing and acting. I'm busy. Can I take them to Leslie Cheung's place first? Cristiano Ronaldo, why are you in such a hurry? Didn't we agree to take you to see the Premier League tonight? Never mind, never mind, hanging up. Oh dear, Robin Li and Pony Ma are here too! Sit down, sit down. What's up? Any questions about the internet again? What? Mo Yan is here too? Is he having some writing trouble again? Ah? Stephen Chow is here too. This kid's been skipping class a lot lately, what's going on?

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