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1. My niece patted her belly and said, "Uncle, I want to eat more."
I laughed and said, "Eat if you want, your aunt's cooking is just as good as any fancy restaurant."
My wife, seeing how much my niece loved to eat, happily said, "It's good that you can eat."
My son chimed in, "When you become as fat as my mom, you'll be worried about not being able to get married."
My wife was furious.
My niece, however, disagreed and said, "Why wouldn't I be able to get married? Didn't Aunt marry Uncle?"
"Exactly," my wife said, putting another bowl of rice in my niece's bowl, "Don't listen to your brother's nonsense, eat."
But when the rice was placed in front of her, she hesitated for a moment and asked, "If I get fat, will only someone like Uncle be willing to marry me? If that's the case, I'd rather not eat."
2. I took out a picture book to teach my daughter to recognize things. I pointed to a red pomegranate in the picture and asked, "Do you know what this is?"
My daughter glanced at it and shook her head at me.
I then taught her, word by word, "It's a pomegranate. Come on, say 'pomegranate' to Mommy."
Then, I pointed to another identical pomegranate next to her and asked, "What's this one?"
My daughter looked at it and exclaimed with a grin, "I know this one, it's seventeen!"
3. Mom: Why isn't your dad home yet?
Daughter: Oh, right, he said he's going to spend the night with a woman. He told me this morning he wouldn't be home. Apparently, he and that woman have some kind of relationship, and she's not feeling well, so my dad went to take care of her.
Mom: (Furious) What?!

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