Hilarious jokes

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1. On my first day at work, every time I looked back, I'd be met with a man's lecherous gaze.

One evening, I received a text from him: "Are you free tonight?"

My guard was raised, and I replied with four words: "What do you want?"

Shortly after, my phone flashed with another text: "Yes."

I felt incredibly wronged.

2. A guest came to a farmhouse, and the host wanted to kill the rooster, but the rooster flew onto the roof and wouldn't come down. The host yelled, "If you don't come down, I'll kill all the hens and make you wish you were dead!"

The rooster laughed wildly: "Wow! I can finally find some wild chickens!"

3. Old Zhang went to Yunnan for tourism and was stopped on the street by two very fashionable young women.

The women asked, "Sir, sir, would you like to watch dancing?"

"What kind of dancing?" Old Zhang asked curiously.

"Ethnic dance!" the women replied mysteriously.

"No, no, we have all kinds of ethnic dances at the Beijing Ethnic Culture Park!" Old Zhang waved his hand impatiently.

One of the young women grabbed Old Zhang and whispered, "Have you ever seen someone without clothes?"

Old Zhang angrily pointed at her and said, "Without clothes? How am I supposed to know what ethnicity you are if you're not dressed?!"

4. In the morning, the internet cafe had just opened, and the waitresses were mopping the floor. Xiao Ming arrived.

Xiao Ming: "Can I use it now?"

Waitress: "Wait until I'm undressed."

Xiao Ming: "Then I'll help you undress. Hurry up and let me use it. I'll undress your lower half first. Come on! Lift your leg."

5. A lady impulsively bought a female parrot. Unexpectedly, the first thing it said when she brought it home was, "Want to sleep with me?"

The lady thought, "Oh no, people will think I taught it that. This will ruin my ladylike image!" So she tried everything to teach the parrot to say something more elegant, but the female parrot was determined to only say one thing: "Want to sleep with me?"

... What to do? When the woman was at her wit's end, she heard that the priest also kept a male parrot, and that the parrot not only didn't swear, but was actually a devout believer, spending most of its time praying. So the woman went to the priest for help. After understanding her purpose, the priest said with a slightly troubled expression, "This is difficult. Actually, that parrot hasn't been deliberately taught anything. Its piety is probably due to its long-term exposure to this environment."

Seeing the woman's disappointment, the priest said, "How about this, bring your parrot to me, and I'll put them together. Hopefully, after some time, your parrot will be influenced. That's all I can do. Whether it works or not depends on God's will..."

The woman thought, "That's all I can do. There's a saying: 'One is influenced by one's company.'" So she brought the parrot to the priest. The priest kept his promise and put the two parrots together. At first, the female parrot was a little reserved. Seeing the male parrot silently praying in a corner of the cage, she really didn't have the heart to disturb him. But she couldn't control herself and finally said loudly, "Want to sleep with me?"

Hearing this, the male parrot stopped praying, turned to look at the female parrot, and suddenly burst into tears: "Thank God, my wish that I've prayed for all these years has finally come true..."

5 Once upon a time, there was a simple-minded son who married a good wife. After the wedding ceremony, they entered the bridal chamber. The simple-minded son was curious and asked his wife, "Hey, what should I call you?"

His wife was both amused and annoyed, and replied, "Call me King Yama."

On their wedding night, the couple slept at opposite ends of the bed. The wife used her foot to hook her husband. The simple-minded son was woken up and, not knowing what was going on, called out to his father, "Father, come and see, King Yama is hooking me!"

His father was startled and loudly reported to King Yama, "King Yama, my son is still young, and I am already old. If you want to hook me, hook me."

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Hilarious jokes

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