Why I no longer advocate online dating.

page views:1 Publication date:2021-01-03

First of all, thank you all for your support of Lao Xu. I've also made many new friends recently. Happy New Year everyone!
In my last article, I mentioned Twitter and 91. Since many friends have asked, I'll explain what these two things are.
91 Forum: It's a relatively old forum in this circle. It has videos, pictures, and a communication platform similar to this website. Of course, there are more people there than here. Simply put, there are a lot of scammers and ads, and it also charges fees. 69 website is relatively more ethical, with few ads, while 91's ads are everywhere.
Twitter: It's a foreign website, similar to Weibo in China, but the difference is that you can speak freely. You can post 18+ content; it has a high tolerance for explicit content. Of course, Trump often posts crazy things on it. As for why some friends can't open it, it's said to be a foreign website, so you know why.
For new friends who don't know the situation, you can read my article first to understand. After that, I hope everyone will read this article carefully first.
First, I overlooked the age gap among the users on this platform. Some readers are in their early 20s, while others are over 40, with significant differences in their personal circumstances. My approach isn't suitable for everyone. I personally think it's best suited for people aged 20-40. Older people are harder to chat with, and younger people are harder to approach. The post-2000 generation is much more shrewd than you; don't assume you're naive just because you're young. Secondly, most people I connect with are primarily looking for serious relationships—partners, boyfriends, or husbands. The possibility of developing a casual sex relationship is low and difficult. As for stealing someone else's partner or having an affair, if you had that kind of skill, you wouldn't be reading my articles.
Second, besides my own online dating tutorials, observant readers will notice that there are many online so-called chat tutorials and tutorials on how to pick up girls, many of which are paid. Their methods and strategies are actually quite similar to what I write. What does this mean? You might feel like you've discovered a new continent with Lao Xu's work, but unfortunately, this isn't some unique dating technique or unparalleled skill he created. It's just a common technique you weren't aware of before. Lao Xu doesn't want to make money from this, so he's sharing it for free. However, its effectiveness is very limited. Successful methods are often not replicable. Just because someone can hook up with a method doesn't mean it will work for you. There are indeed techniques for chatting and hooking up, but you might not be able to learn or use others' techniques effectively. Just like in sales, what works for others might not work for you. It might solve some common problems, but it doesn't mean you can use the same trick everywhere. Practice makes perfect, and hard work brings results. Don't rely too much on techniques.
Thirdly, there's a saying in martial arts: "In the face of absolute power, technique is pale." If you're rich and handsome, you don't need many fancy tricks. If you're poor and unattractive, even the most eloquent person will have a low success rate. The art of picking up girls varies from person to person. You need to consider both your own strengths and the girl's. People are naturally drawn to attractive things; you like beautiful women, and they like handsome men. So, guys who aren't particularly attractive, you need to be adaptable, flexible, and know when to back down. As the saying goes, suffering stems from overthinking; it's best to think less about what you can't have.
Fourthly, and finally, and most importantly, everyone needs to understand that survivorship bias exists in this circle. A while ago, a friend lamented that so many women are cheating, that certain circles are so chaotic, that certain celebrities are involved in group sex, that society is so open, and that women are so easily slept with. After reading Lao Xu's article, I felt it was so easy to hook up with girls. But when you look around 69, you think, "Wow, husbands like to offer their wives to other men! It seems like getting a girlfriend is so easy!" Since they post here, they must be open-minded couples; who would be here if they were conservative? But the truth is, those who engage in threesomes and swapping are still a very small minority of couples in society. The vast majority of people cannot accept such behavior. That's why you never see photos of faces; everyone knows this behavior cannot be made public. Many people feel this circle is wonderful, that hooking up with girls is easy, because that's because they secretly desire such an outcome—it's just what they hope for. Once people lean towards a certain viewpoint, they will automatically focus on and pay attention to examples that support their viewpoint while ignoring opposing cases, thus arriving at a wrong conclusion. First of all, let me tell you, women don't like terms like "hooking up" or "friends with benefits," and they're not as promiscuous as you might imagine. Don't use phrases like "all women are inherently slutty" or "women just want to be slept with" to argue that. It's like calling a man a "softie" or a "gold digger"—you'd feel unhappy too. Some terms aren't just insults; they're downright degrading. Don't believe me? Then take a closer look. Aren't most posts from men? I write about how to hook up with girls, not guys, and most of my comments are from men. Haven't you noticed? Women's real voices are being "suppressed." They're unwilling and uninterested in posting. Even if only one or two out of 100 women express their thoughts, that's a tiny minority. (Any single women willing to leave a comment to corroborate this? I'd be extremely grateful!)
To be honest, I've hooked up with a lot of women—enough to fill a mahjong table in two years. I've met even more people, including girls from other countries. I know a Japanese girl who, before coming to China, couldn't bear to leave her boyfriend and wanted to fulfill his requests, like having sex in the bathroom and a threesome. But in the end, she did everything except the threesome. She told me she didn't actually like it; she only did it because she loved her boyfriend. It's the same in hookups; most girls only have sex with a guy if they have feelings for him. That's the logic of women being emotional and men being sexual. Sex is just a part of life; if you become overly obsessed with it, you lose its enjoyment. Like me, even though I've hooked up with so many girls, I feel emptier inside. Because you can't find someone who truly loves you. Hooking up is actually very simple, as long as you're good enough! Charming enough to attract girls, then it'll all fall into place naturally. But attracting someone just through chatting is very difficult, especially now after the pandemic, when everyone is in such an unstable state. Live for the moment, but before you indulge, you need to have enough resources.
Many people are curious about Lao Xu's (Old Xu's) qualifications to hook up with girls. First, I work out regularly, so my physique is similar to a model's (if you disagree, ask me for photos privately). I'm 180cm tall, and I even wear insoles, so I always claim to be 183cm. I can sing and dance (my dancing skills alone can crush 99% of men), and I'm good at photography. As for looks, one word to describe myself—the "Haixi Daniel Wu" (just kidding, I think I'm pretty good). Regarding talents, I'm involved in photography, modeling, and dance circles, and I know all sorts of girls. So, everyone, when it comes to chatting online to hook up with girls, just take it with a grain of salt, don't treat it like some kind of magic formula.

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Why I no longer advocate online dating.

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