[Those outrageously crude jokes that are instantly recognizable are basically hopeless!]

page views:1 Publication date:2023-06-21 08:20:45

1. After being ruthlessly dumped by a rich and handsome guy, the goddess thought of the loser and called him, crying. The loser bought eggs and noodles and went to her house to comfort her. Loser: "I'll take care of you for the rest of my life!" Goddess: "I've had so many boyfriends, don't you mind?" Loser: "You've just been deceived. I know you're a very pure girl." The goddess was moved to tears. Loser: "Don't cry, I'll make you some noodles." The goddess nodded, squatted down, and unzipped the loser's pants.
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2. A woman went to have an artificial insemination procedure. After she undressed and lay on the bed, she noticed the doctor was also taking off his pants! The woman exclaimed, "What are you doing?" The doctor replied, "I'm so sorry, we've run out of the bottled fluid..."
3. The results of the 2014 Outstanding Novel Selection were announced today, with the short story "Night Colors" winning the Grand Prize.
It was a dark and windy night in the desolate wilderness, in a small wooden cabin.
Man: You're here?
Woman: Here I am.
Man: Come on?
Woman: Come on!
Man: Are you here?
Woman: Not yet!
Man: Not here yet?
Woman: Here I come!
Woman: Are you coming again?
Man: I'm not coming, I can't come anymore.
4. "I'm back." He put down his bag, and she sat on the sofa with her usual elegance. "It wasn't tiring." He could tell what she wanted to say from her bright eyes, but she, born unable to speak, was... "Having you is enough." He took her hand and kissed her rosy cheek. "What should we have for dinner tonight? Instant noodles, please." He hugged her, his heart filled with tenderness: "Sweetie, I'm going to make some noodles. I'll inflate you up after we eat~"
5. My girlfriend says her ex-boyfriend was much better at kissing than me. I have to admit, he was really great.
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6. While showering, I realized I was definitely not the biggest, but the most tragic thing was that when my wife uploaded our selfies to a porn site, they actually categorized the videos as lesbian videos.
7. A question that 90% of people will answer incorrectly!!! What's your answer?
8. A boy had three testicles! But he didn't know if he was normal. Too embarrassed to ask his classmates, he decided to ask his older brother. The next morning at breakfast, he asked his brother, "Brother, if the two of us had a total of five testicles, would that be weird?" His brother was shocked and asked, "You have four?"
9. The truth behind why Xiaolongnu didn't get pregnant after being sexually assaulted by Yin Zhiping has finally been revealed! In the 1995 version of The Return of the Condor Heroes, at 3 minutes and 50 seconds into episode 8, when Yin Zhiping was doing *that* to Xiaolongnu, after he lifted her skirt, the camera cut to this delicate wild chrysanthemum next to her… a chrysanthemum~~~
10. In high school, I secretly changed my number in a classmate's phone to my dad's. During class, I texted him: "Kid, come back right now! We've won 10 million! Don't bother coming to school!" My classmate saw it and immediately ran out the door. The homeroom teacher asked him where he was going. Without turning around, he said: "Go to hell! Mind your own business!" He came back a little while later. The homeroom teacher said: "Get lost." This guy stood outside silently for the entire afternoon!
11. Yesterday, a friend of mine was discharged from the hospital, but he accidentally had his purse cut open and lost 3,000 yuan. His girlfriend scolded him: "You're still unreliable even after being discharged from the hospital, and you even lost money. What a waste of time!" Note: Anyone who mistook "purse" for "foreskin" must comment!! You guys with evil thoughts!
12. One day, colleague Zhang asked a female colleague, "Do you know what you can do with carrots?" She replied, "No." Then he asked, "Do you know what you can do with cucumbers?" She said, "No." He then asked, "What about eggplants?" She said, "Still no." The man sighed and said, "What about steamed buns?" She said, "Those too?"
13. Jingjing and Tongtong went to the public bathhouse together. Tongtong had just taken off her jeans when Jingjing slapped her on the bottom and said, "Oh, you and your husband are wearing matching underwear!" ...The whole place fell silent... -_-
14. When a girl sends you a string of "..." and you don't know how to reply, you can weakly reply, "Why do you always send me a string of egg cells? Do I need to reply to you?"
15. He's a rich second-generation heir. Though not particularly handsome, he's incredibly capable. In his youth, he could have sex with ten men simultaneously, including a foreign man, bringing glory to his country. A legendary man, after having sex with him, went on to make numerous films featuring him having sex with other men, earning worldwide admiration. He deserves immense credit; his name is Ip Man! Haha, raise your hand if you've misunderstood!
16. A handsome guy wanted to buy a condom but didn't know his size. The saleswoman, exasperated, checked it while saying to her colleague, "Give me a 5-inch one, oh no, a 7-inch one... Oh my god, quick, get me some toilet paper..."

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