Should I help my husband masturbate?

page views:1 Publication date:2023-04-28 08:17:00

Teacher, I have a question for you.
This happened last night. My husband and I are recent college graduates who got married last year. Our relationship has been strained for the past few days; we're not talking to each other. Last night, in a half-awake state, I felt my husband, sleeping next to me, doing something—masturbating. When I realized what was happening, I was shocked. I didn't know that while we were angry and I was emotionally exhausted, he was still thinking about masturbating… and he wasn't even afraid I'd find out. Was he doing it on purpose for me to see? What was he thinking? I can't face it all…
I want to ask you, do these heavy and gloomy thoughts mean we should get a divorce? Is there no love left between us? What should I do? Can you help me?
reply:
Sex should be the cornerstone of marriage. We need to emphasize that it is the harmonious and diverse sexual activity between husband and wife that constitutes the cornerstone of marriage. Only a solid and exquisite cornerstone can withstand the trials and tribulations of a long marriage, and only then can husband and wife jointly build the edifice of happiness.
However, in many cases, people do not fully understand the role of this foundation, or even largely ignore it. They only care about occupying it without contributing to it, making the foundation always shaky, broken, and full of crises. How can one build a complete life on it? Perhaps it is this weak foundation that leads to the breakdown of a marriage.
Married life and masturbation are two common and primary ways for humans to release sexual tension.
For married individuals or those with girlfriends, sexual release primarily occurs through marital relations, while for unmarried individuals or those without girlfriends, it's mainly about sexual self-defense. Both methods can be considered normal physiological release pathways, providing sexual pleasure and satisfaction and alleviating sexual frustration.
Sexual self-defense, as a voluntary method of direct energy release, is indeed an easy option for unmarried people or those without girlfriends (even if your husband is by your side, because no one pays attention to each other, it is equivalent to a state of being without a partner). The higher the degree of masturbation, the better the release effect, and the more significant the positive effects will be.
Practice has shown that appropriate sexual self-defense for men is a healthy form of sexual catharsis and release, which can relieve sexual tension and produce positive physiological effects .
Using sexual relations as a condition to "punish" each other is very unwise, and the breakdown of the marriage will begin from this point.
"Our relationship has been strained for the past few days; we're not talking to each other." This sentence is the crux of the problem. A quarrel between a couple over trivial matters is usually just a minor incident. When one person gets angry, the other should restrain themselves and avoid retaliating with insults or sarcastic remarks, otherwise, it will sow seeds of unhappiness in both their hearts.
When couples have a disagreement, a few humorous words or gestures delivered at the right time can often resolve the issue. It's worth noting that a sweet married life often arises from bridging the rifts caused by arguments and rushing into each other's arms. Using intimacy as a condition for "punishing" one's partner is easily hurtful, and the foundation of the marriage will begin to crumble.
In closing, I would like to emphasize one more point: you and your spouse should purposefully learn some knowledge about sex to communicate your respective sexual desires and feelings, in order to increase and maintain a sense of novelty.

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