Caused by the Olympics

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On August 8, 2008, the 29th Olympic Games were successfully held in Beijing. Sports elites of all races gathered in China, eager to seize this rare opportunity to showcase their talents to the world. The Chinese people warmly welcomed their arrival. As one Beijing resident put it, "Since these foreigners came, I can sell fifty more popsicles every day." This shows how harmonious the relationship was between the Olympic athletes and the Chinese people. Unfortunately, this happy period didn't last long.
On December 34th, the Japanese delegation arrived in Beijing. However, instead of flowers and applause, they were greeted by an attack from an illegal organization calling itself the "Patriotic Knights." From a raiding squad mainly composed of angry young men, numerous glass bottles and excrement wrapped in tissue paper, accompanied by shouts of "Japanese, go back!" and "You *you*!", rained down on the Japanese athletes. The head of the Japanese delegation, Ogami Tamao, was unfortunately struck directly by a cactus pot, immediately suffering a head injury and bleeding profusely. While this incident also resulted in a successful hair transplant, the undeserved calamity instilled in Ogami Tamao a strong hatred for China. That evening, he contacted Japan, claiming that the Chinese people deeply hated Japan and demanding that Japan send additional special personnel to completely overwhelm the Chinese athletes in the Olympic Games, causing China, as the host country, to lose face. At the same time, Ogami Tamao threatened that if his demands were not met, he would incite all the Japanese athletes, who felt deeply insulted by the incident, to commit seppuku. Left with no other option, the Japanese government had to agree to this demand that violated the spirit of sportsmanship. And so the wheels of fate began to turn—well, actually, they've never stopped turning over the years…
On December 36th, the Japanese basketball team unexpectedly defeated the strong American team. Their forwards were two high school students named Rukawa Kaede and Sakuragi Hanamichi, whose seamless teamwork was astonishing. Meanwhile, in women's archery, an unknown archer named Kagome easily won, attracting attention with her amazing performance of smashing the target and shattering a wall. Newspapers that day devoted large sections to these events, unanimously crying "The wolf is coming!"
That night, the Chinese government quietly held a meeting. During the meeting, a leader sneered, "Hmph, since that's how it is, we don't need to be polite. Just you wait and see!" And so began a war without gunfire. This is the ** event that has been extensively documented by countless historians.
The following day, a controversy arose during the high jump competition because Japan fielded Hattori Hanzo. The central issue was the athlete's nationality. China argued that Hanzo's nationality was debatable, while Japan dismissed it as baseless. After more than an hour of debate, Japan decided to back down and replace him with Sasaki Kojiro. The Chinese representative responded with a few cold laughs, declaring, "Since you're being unjust, don't blame me for being unjust too." The Japanese representative retorted, "Kakadikouyi!"
The competition, which had been temporarily suspended, resumed. Sasaki Kojiro easily cleared the 4-meter bar with a technique called "Tsubame Gaeshi" (Swallow Return), breaking the world record for high jump. Unfortunately, his triumph was short-lived, as a Chinese athlete quickly followed with an impressive 7.63 meters. During the break, an American commentator delivered a speech titled "We Are Betraying Newton," while numerous high jumpers from other countries withdrew or committed suicide, leaving the armed police officers responsible for maintaining order overwhelmed.
At 3 PM, the competition resumed. Sarutobi Sasuke, an athlete urgently brought in from Japan, dominated with a jump of 12.47 meters. However, shortly after, an unnamed Chinese athlete, using the Nine Yang Divine Skill combined with Turtle Breathing Technique to resist the effects of low temperature and atmospheric pressure, reached the stratosphere three hours later by stepping on the instep of his right foot with his left and vice versa. Photos from American satellites showed that, due to the Earth's rotation, this athlete not only broke the world record for high jump but also the world record for long jump. That night, 63.43% of high jump and long jump athletes worldwide committed suicide, triggering a global strike by funeral industry workers several days later. But this was just the beginning; the wages in the funeral industry rose sharply in the following years—but that's another story…
The competition then intensified, and advertising professionals got involved. They demanded that the anonymous contestant jump to a different altitude, take out a bottle of Coca-Cola, drink it, and say the tagline, "I love Coca-Cola." Pepsi offered a higher price, and it seemed a commercial war was inevitable, but something even more serious was brewing…
On December 40th, after several days of silence, the US delegation announced a complete replacement of its athletes. In the track and field competition, American athlete "The Flash" defeated Japanese athlete Sojiro's "shrinking-the-ground" sprint in the 100 meters with a time of 0.27 seconds. However, his supersonic speed created a sound barrier, seriously injuring a referee and causing minor injuries to several spectators, drawing widespread condemnation. Following the Iraq War in 2004, the US faced another serious challenge on human rights issues. Furthermore, that evening, several American heroes were spotted within the Beijing Military Region. Although the Chinese government lodged a strong protest, the US dismissed it as the individual actions of the athletes. After repeated attempts to persuade them failed, senior Chinese government officials were forced to hold another secret meeting. The following is a transcript of their remarks.
An official said: "It seems that conventional martial arts techniques are no longer enough to stop them."
Official B: Well, after all, Superman is no joke.
Official A: Should we replace him?
Official B: (Trembling) No, I don't want us to become sinners in history.
An official (sneers): This is called reciprocity.
Official B: But...
Official A: YY Wuxia has already been deployed, so deploying YY Xuanhuan isn't a big deal, is it? I only promised not to use YY weapons first, but I didn't say I wouldn't use them to retaliate!
Official B: But...
President C: (firmly) Okay, I've made up my mind.
Official B: (Breaking down) Are we really going to have to send them out?
President C: (Without room for argument) Yes, for the sake of national prestige, a little sacrifice is inevitable.
The next day, official B fled. When he was apprehended by international special forces, it was discovered that he had a large amount of unexplained deposits in a Swiss bank.
The camera shifts back to the Olympics...
On March 1st, China announced the replacement of a large number of athletes, while warning the United States that it must regulate its athletes. American domestic news outlets ridiculed this, claiming, "Beijing can't do anything with a few American athletes; if it really sends intelligence agents, what secrets will Beijing keep?" Although some dissenting voices warned the US against complacency and to be wary of Beijing's potential, these warnings were ignored. It wasn't until the events that historians call "the Great American Revolution" occurred that the American public's fervent optimism was brought to a sharp halt.
On December 2nd, during a discus throwing competition, a Chinese athlete shouted, "All the women in the world are mine!" while throwing the discus. Subsequent radar data from around the world revealed that the discus circled the Earth three times, destroying two US early warning aircraft and four stealth fighters along its path, and ultimately damaging half of the White House. The United States issued a statement the following day, suspecting it was a deliberate act by the Chinese government, but the Chinese government vehemently denied it, retorting that it was "purely accidental and the athlete's personal act," and stating that it was only willing to partially compensate the United States for its losses. While the two countries were negotiating, a Chinese athlete also destroyed Tokyo Tower with a javelin throw, leading the United States and Japan to jointly issue a declaration, declaring a state of war.
That evening, the Chinese government held another secret meeting.
Official A: It seems we need to reflect on this; those fantasy protagonists are just too difficult to control. Official D (from YY Bookstore): Perhaps B is right; we've opened Pandora's box with our own hands.
Official A: Shut up! There's no going back now!
Official D: So what do we do now? Those fantasy-obsessed guys demand an average of 15 women to serve them each night, and some even boast, 'I'll rule this other world by forcing women! Don't give me women? Be careful, I'll wipe out a million of you with a wave of my hand!' At this rate, not to mention the funding, we ourselves might be in danger. (Image 1: A pig-headed man hugs a prostitute and laughs wildly; the prostitute looks disgusted.)
Photo 2: A kid exuding an aura of "king" walks around with the words "The Number One Loser in the Universe" written on his forehead, while passersby cover their noses and make way for him.
Image 3: A group of crooked-mouthed little devils are worshipping another little devil wearing a paper crown and his underwear on the outside, shouting "Long live the boss!"
Officials A, C, and D: ...
Official A: This is indeed a big problem...
Chairman C: (Powerless) Let's deal with Japan and the US first. For now, we have to fight fire with fire...
On May 5, the Olympics were interrupted due to the withdrawal of Japan and the United States. Subsequently, the two countries issued a joint statement declaring war on China, while other countries declared neutrality.
On June 6th, the U.S. Seventh Fleet intruded into the South China Sea and launched attacks on Chinese coastal cities. Its military bases in Japan and South Korea also scrambled fighter jets for support. Due to the inability to deploy troops in time, the Chinese forces were initially at a disadvantage. However, with a sudden, forbidden attack, the entire U.S. force was annihilated. The Seventh Fleet's commander, Admiral Elminster, died in action after his defensive spells failed.
Three minutes later, China launched a counterattack, conducting an airborne operation against the American mainland. The paratroopers were all handpicked from protagonists in fantasy novels, with the minimum requirement being a reincarnation of a creator god. This super force easily breached the American air defenses and engaged in fierce combat with the well-prepared American special forces. An hour later, the fantasy army concluded the landing operation by killing the American special forces captain, Tristana. But they didn't rest; instead, they immediately occupied… the Playboy magazine headquarters, several casinos in Las Vegas, and the residences of adult film stars… In any case, seventy-two hours later, they launched another offensive, finally capturing several important cities, including Washington, D.C., while controlling most of the military facilities, and incidentally killing CIA super agent Raistlin. The remaining American troops descended into chaos, issuing orders to nuclear submarines lurking in various oceans to use nuclear weapons. But by this point, nuclear bombs were merely toys. 98% of the intercontinental ballistic missiles were destroyed during launch, and the rest were intercepted in space. On March 10th, the United States announced its unconditional surrender. On the same day, Japan unilaterally expressed its desire to negotiate with China, but this was rejected. Meanwhile, China's "YY" (a term referring to fanfiction) troops, having conquered numerous blonde beauties, were in high spirits, shouting, "If you don't hate Japan, you're not worthy of being the protagonist of a YY story; all the Yamato Nadeshiko (ideal Japanese women) are mine!" and marched towards Japan.
On March 11th, Japanese and Chinese forces began to assemble in the skies over the Pacific. Japan dispatched a combined naval and air force, primarily composed of members of the Ryudo Brothers, Gundam, and Trinity Force, which engaged in a fierce 12-hour battle with the Chinese YY (Yoga) forces, ultimately resulting in their complete annihilation. Subsequently, Japan changed its strategy, sending special combat units, including those with special abilities and Nen abilities, to infiltrate civilian populations and secretly carry out assassination plans against the landing Chinese YY forces. Their methods included using shadow manipulation to immobilize enemies, then covering their mouths and noses, plugging their anuses, and sealing their pores with cement—a cruel form of SM (masochistic) killing that deprived them of the ability to breathe. Caught off guard, the YY forces, who were engaged in rampant rape and plunder, suffered heavy losses and were wiped out within hours.
On December 13, Japan launched a lightning counter-offensive, invading China with its remaining Gundam forces and ability users. China's conventional forces were quickly annihilated, and the Japanese army then penetrated deep into its territory.
That evening, after an emergency meeting, the Chinese government rapidly created a new generation of "YY" (a derogatory term for Japanese soldiers) using methods such as electric shocks, kicking them down stairs, and forced feeding them large quantities of sweet potatoes, and immediately deployed them to the battlefield. By dawn the following day, the Japanese army had been completely driven out of China. However, because these "YY" soldiers were all inexperienced, several rampages occurred during the fighting, leading to the destruction of several major cities. Later historians referred to this as the **Incident**. (YY Bookstore Forum, Xuan)

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