Funny chat logs from Explosive Laughter Valley

page views:1 Publication date:2022-04-28

1. Sweet Smile: Did your confession fail?
Laughing Valley: She said she likes older men.
Sweet smile: Don't be discouraged, you will meet a better girl.
Laughing Valley: Of course, she'll regret it when I get old and become a middle-aged man.
Sweet Smile: Give me a break. Only handsome guys get called "uncle" when they get old. Someone like you can only be called "grandpa".
Laughing Valley: A handsome guy's confession is a true confession, but a guy like me confessing is just sexual harassment. What a painful realization.
2. Take a walk after dinner at Laughing Valley.
I ran into a woman on the street who struck up a conversation: "Hey bro, getting bored all alone? Want to hang out?"
Laughing Valley: "No way, I'm really tough, and you can't handle the way I play."
Woman: "Damn, I've been in this business for five years, I've seen it all! Tell me, how do we play?"
Laughing Valley: "Freebie!"
3. In Laughing Valley, I ran into a classmate I hadn't seen for three years.
Woman: "We've all changed since we last met."
Laughing Valley: "Really? For example?"
Woman: "For example, you've become more handsome, and I've become much better at joking..."
4. "Doctor, my girlfriend is having surgery tomorrow. Please take good care of her. It's so hot today, this is just a small token of our appreciation. Please take it and have some tea." I said, handing the item over.
"You're insulting me!" The doctor slammed the cap of the "buy one get one free" bottle onto my face.
5. Laughing Valley: "Hey beautiful, want a box of skin-nourishing capsules? This is our family's secret formula. One capsule a day, and within three months your skin will be white and tender, and freckles will disappear without a trace. A box is only ninety yuan! Ninety yuan will keep you beautiful and youthful forever! It's definitely the most cost-effective deal! Come on, come on! If you don't see results within a week, you'll get your money back..."
Woman: Get out!
Laughing Valley: Ah, you're not a woman? Holy crap, if you're not a woman, why are you dressed like that? But it's okay, I also have the "Undying Penis Pill" that men need. Just one pill, and I guarantee your virility will never falter. You can easily sleep with ten women in one night, absolutely annihilating your opponents without leaving a trace. And there are absolutely no side effects. One pill only costs ten yuan, ten yuan! Just the price of a pack of cigarettes…
Woman: Get out!
Laughing Valley: What? You don't like women? You son of a bitch, you damn transvestite! I hate cross-dressers like you who like men and dress up beautifully the most...
Woman: Get out!
Laughing Valley... So it's an automatic reply?
Woman: Get out!
(After the woman returned...)
Woman: Oh my! It's Brother Bao! Sorry I set up an auto-reply earlier! (Shyly) I made you roll around all morning!
Laughing Valley: Get lost!
Woman: Brother Bao, don't be angry. I won't ask you to get lost again, okay?
Laughing Valley: Get lost!
Woman: My handsome and dashing brother Bao, are you angry? Don't be angry!
Laughing Valley: Get lost!
Woman: (Tears streaming down my face) Brother Ling, please don't be angry with me! How about I grant you one request?
Laughing Valley: Get lost! Wait... really? (His eyes lit up instantly)
Woman: Mm!
Laughing Valley: Well... let your brother touch it first? Don't worry, there are no handling fees!
Woman: Go to hell!
Laughing Valley: By the way, beautiful lady... how do you know my name?
Woman: Oh my... how could I not know! It's all because of your looks!
Laughing Valley: Appearance? Did I put a label on my face? Or have you been secretly in love with me all along? Have you been investigating me in secret?
Laughing Valley: Don't think I'm unapproachable just because I'm handsome. Actually, I'm very open-minded!
Woman: Tch... You look better than a mule at best. Do you know why people have prostates? It's a shame you're so attractive!
Laughing Valley: Hey girl, you can't say that! My thigh can't even twist your arm, you're only good enough for a mule! Besides, I'm giving you a chance to improve your status!
Woman: (Enraged) Confucius once said: Don't take my tolerance for you as a license to be shameless!
Laughing Valley: Sigh, the weather is so nice today, but it's windy and rainy again!
Woman: Hmph! I'm ignoring you!
Laughing Valley: Hey! Don't ignore me! If you ignore me, I'll become like a dog that no one wants to talk to! (Feeling wronged)
Girl: Does your brother have a girlfriend yet? (shyly)
Laughing Valley: Ugh, you can't ask a single man that kind of question! You're not saying this because you like me, are you?
Woman: Hmm, I do like you quite a bit!
Laughing Valley: Beautiful lady, think twice! I am cursed by the Lone Star. King Jie of Xia ruined his kingdom for his sister, King Zhou of Yin suffered calamity for Daji, King You of Zhou favored Bao Si and the Quanrong invaded the border. He laughed at the feudal lords and lit the beacon tower. The words of the sages are passed down to future generations. Think carefully and consider it again. Should I have said what you said, sister?
Woman: Wow... that's awesome? You make it sound like I can't get married!
Laughing Valley: No, no, no, no, you can get married, but that's just framing someone else!
The woman………………
6. Woman: Who are you?
Laughing Valley: Hello ladies! New friend, first let me introduce myself. I was born in the Year of the Ox, no, I'm a bull. I was born in the middle of the night on [date redacted]!
Woman: Your sister is the woman! Who are you anyway?
Laughing Valley: Oh...you're the dads?
Woman: Dad my ass! Who are you anyway?
Laughing Valley: (Confused) You're neither a woman nor a man? You're a man and a woman?
Woman: Father, mother, your sister! Who are you anyway? (angrily)
Laughing Valley: Soory! This person... I don't know whether they are male or female, young or old, gentleman or lady, father or mother... I have no comment!
Woman: Damn it, who are you? If you don't tell me, I'll block you?
Laughing Valley: Wait... okay, I'm a pure, kind, honest, mediocre, and unsuccessful person whose ideal is to save the world, to save the universe! My motto is: Life is a journey of endless picking up girls!
Woman: Pfft... Hurry up and tell me your name!
Laughing Valley: Do you want to call me "husband"? Or "husband"? Or "husband"? You choose?
Woman: Are you going to tell me or not?
Laughing Valley: Sunset and Stars... Unrivaled Courage...!
Woman: I'm asking for your real name!
Laughing Valley: nickname, small and big, explosion, explosion!
Woman: I don't want a nickname... but what about my formal name?
Hilarious: Big Name, Big Explosion
Woman: Ugh! Talking to you is exhausting. Where's your full name? (Explodes in anger)
Hilarious Valley: Total explosion...!

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Funny chat logs from Explosive Laughter Valley

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