Ten jokes

page views:1 Publication date:2022-05-02

1. Ghost: God, next time I want to be reincarnated, I want to be as white as an angel and have a pair of wings, but I still want to drink blood.
God: Then reincarnate as Always (a brand of sanitary napkins).
Comment: Honestly, it's very creative, but the joke is too old.
2. A friend of mine was selling popsicles in the park for the first time as a part-time student, and he was too shy to call out to customers. Just then, someone shouted, "Popsicles for sale! Popsicles for sale!" My friend was so excited when he heard this that he shouted back, "Me too! Me too!"
Comment: If you're not going to shout out your wares, then don't sell them. Or just put up a sign.
3. Not long after the ant and the elephant got married, the elephant died. The ant buried the elephant, weeping, "My dear, why did you leave so soon? I'll do nothing else in my life but bury you!"
Comment: It would take a lifetime to bury them all; this little ant is really unlucky.
4. A boy who secretly likes a girl mustered up his courage and asked her what kind of boy she likes.
The girl who said she "clicked" gave the same answer, even after being asked several times.
The boy said dejectedly, "(gai1nan2sheng1xie4qi4dao4__) Can I tilt my head?"
Comment: Round head, tilted head, I really admire this guy's comprehension skills.
5. A professor was lecturing in a field: "Scientific research requires not being afraid of getting dirty..." Then he squatted down, poked a pile of cow dung with his finger, and licked his finger clean. A student quickly said, "I'm not afraid of getting dirty..." and also poked a pile of cow dung with his finger and licked it clean. The professor said, "Furthermore, you must be good at observing. I just poked the dung with my middle finger, but I licked my index finger..."
Comment: This professor really knows how to prank people, but that student was such an idiot.
6. (__) One day during a biology exam, one of the questions was to guess the bird's name by looking at its legs. A student, completely clueless, angrily tore up his paper and prepared to leave the exam room. The proctor, furious, asked him, "Which class are you in? What's your name?" The student rolled up his trouser leg and said, "Guess, guess!"
Comment: It seems this student is really quick to apply what they've learned.
7. A polar bear was sitting alone on the ice, bored out of its mind. It started plucking its own fur to play with, one hair… two hairs… three hairs… until there wasn't a single hair left. Suddenly, it cried out… "It's so cold!!"
Comment: This polar bear is really cute, but how long will it take to pull it up?
8. A man bought a parrot that could say two words: "Who is it?" One day, the owner was not home, and a gas deliveryman came to knock on the door.
Parrot: Who is it?
A: Changing the gas cylinder
Parrot: Who is it?
A: Changing the gas cylinder
...
The homeowner came home to find someone lying at the door. The homeowner wondered, "Who is this?"
Inside the door: Gas exchange area
Comment: I bet the gas changer was so dizzy he was playing a joke on him.
9. A person saw a pile of things on the road, squatted down, smelled it, and said it might be poop. He touched some, put it in his mouth, licked it, and said, "It really is poop! Good thing I didn't step in it!"
Comment: I didn't step on it but I did eat it, honestly, that's an old joke.
10. The sun calls the grass
Sun: Hey, you son of a bitch? Damn it.
Grass: What the hell are you?
Sun: Damn it!
Damn it, who are you anyway?
Sun: Damn it, you son of a bitch!
Damn it, who the hell are you?!
Sun: Damn it, damn it!
Grass: I'm so pissed (cao_wocao).
The sun's mother snatched the phone: "Fuck, I'll fuck your mother, fuck your mother, okay?"

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Ten jokes

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