Gu Wangyan [Complete] - 14

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Chapter Twelve: A Hundred

Kinds

of Love ,
... □□□ Here the teacher should decline, and here the wet nurse should be of age, so that the lessons can be learned □□. □□ Self-praise of excellent works, this is common today. Huan E wants to join the poetry club, and there is also □□, which is not surprising. Kneeling with the lamp on his head, this is a pretense of refinement, but selling men is not so. To depict the lewdness of Duo Yin, it is written that Huan E came to the You family to have sex with Yang Weiying, but failed and cursed him. When You Xialiu was caught, his ugly behavior was even more revealed □□□. □□□ The part about venting anger is just a casual writing. □□□□ has a virtuous wife. Others' boils can be sucked, but can't the hemorrhoids of the wife in the inner chambers be licked? What should be the crime? Xiong Shi forgave him because of You Xialiu's words, how could □□□□□□□□□□ You Xialiu could use clever words to resolve Gan Shou's disaster □□□□□□□□□□□□, which makes Duo Yin's evil even more than Xiong Shi's. The book says: There are four kingdoms of women beyond the borders. One kingdom has dogs as husbands, and it's likely that the Huo clan adopted this practice from there. The licentiousness of the Jiao and Shui clans is truly comparable to that of Yang Da and his wife. The Shui clan's [illegible characters] are no less than the Chang clan's, but unfortunately, the two never had a contest. The Shui clan [illegible characters] could [illegible characters] husbands in half a day, while Bu Tong only managed to get one Jiao clansman after several years. Gaining an advantage often leads to losing it; this is often the case with those who are good at [illegible characters]. Judging from Bu Tong's case, can those who love easy money also do such things? Xia Liu's wife even went so far as to be a licentious dog, which is already unspeakable, but to go even further astray with a donkey. Those who indulge in vulgarity should be cautious. Duo Yin can be said to have been reckless, taking pleasure to such an extreme; it can be said that extreme pleasure leads to sorrow. One should not do too many excessively pleasurable things in life; this should also be considered. Some might say that the Duo Yin incident is definitely not true, thus incurring the sin of speech. I laughed and said: Do you not consider the context of the book before blaming others? Who was Duo Yin reincarnated from? Who are the reincarnations of the dog and the donkey? Considering what happened before, this one curse is still insufficient to atone for the sins of these three. The evil deeds of the eunuch, the merchant, and the boy in the Qian family are wiped away by this curse, ensuring they will never repeat their mistakes. Zhong Sheng and Qian Gui, having suffered this setback, will henceforth be able to hold their heads high. Misfortune may be a blessing in disguise; this proverb illustrates that one should not dwell on setbacks. Chapter Twelve: A Hundred Kinds of Love; A Detailed Account of Huan E's Evil Deeds; Gan Shou's Cousins Suffer the Punishment of a Concubine; Shui Shi's Mother and Daughter's Adultery; Death and Life. It is said that after encountering Huan E and her group that day, Qian Gui felt deep remorse. He thought to himself: How can a precious tree be placed in dung? Moreover, everyone lives to a hundred; how can one avoid death? How can one fear the sword and avoid the blade, associating with madmen and defiling oneself? From now on, no matter how powerful or dissolute a rich man may be, even if he is boiled alive or tortured, I will never again humiliate him. He also thought of Zhong Sheng's refined and elegant demeanor, and sighed at the rarity of such talent. Remembering that yesterday's performance had ended, Qian Gui wondered if Zhong Sheng had fared well. He wished to invite him over, so he composed a poem to send him: " My sorrowful heart grieves the moonlit night, my ailing body fears the autumn wind. For I remember the affectionate one, thoughts of him enter my dreams. " He wrote it down to send, but had no one to entrust it to. He sat listlessly, almost falling seriously ill. The next day, lying listlessly in bed, a messenger suddenly came and said, "Master Mei is outside visiting the young lady." Qian Gui, who was just thinking of sending a letter, heard this and quickly helped the messenger out to greet him with a bow, then offered Mei Sheng a seat. Mei Sheng said, "It's been a long time since I last visited. I just happened to be passing by and came to pay my respects. Why have you lost weight, Qian Niang?" Qian Gui replied, "Since we parted in late spring, I've been suffering from an illness, hence my weight loss." Mei Sheng asked, "Has Brother Zhong come recently?" Qian Gui said, "Master Zhong said he was going to stay home to study, so he hasn't come here. But the market day ended yesterday, so you must be meeting him there." Mei Sheng said, "I still want to meet him in July. Recently, some important matters at my home have caused me to miss the market day. I haven't been able to meet him for a while, and now I'm going to visit him." Qian Gui said, "If you come, I have a favor to ask of you, please don't refuse." Mei Sheng said, "If you have something to say, Qian Niang, please speak freely." Qian Gui said, "If you meet Master Zhong, please convey my message. I've been looking forward to seeing him for months..." "I am about to wear this, and I am filled with longing. Moreover, Master Zhong's performance has ended, and he is now free. Please come to my humble home for a meeting to ease my longing. I also have a small note I wish to send; I wonder if you would be so kind as to grant me this request?" Mei Sheng replied, "I must have something very important to attend to. Sending a letter now is no problem." He then smiled and said, "If I see Brother Zhong today, I will only tell him a couple of lines of an old poem: 'Qian Niang: Since our parting, my beauty has faded, half from longing for my love, half from resentment.' If he hears this, he might come today. Even though it's the day after Mid-Autumn Festival, it's still a full moon night; he might come to be with Qian Niang for a perfect reunion. Otherwise, he might have something to do, but he will surely arrive tomorrow morning. Qian Niang, please rest assured, I will go now." Qian Gui had his servant retrieve the poem that had been sealed yesterday and gave it to Mei Sheng. Mei Sheng then rose to leave. Qian Gui, seeing that he had already taken the letter, knew that Zhong Sheng, being so affectionate, would surely come, and was overjoyed. He lit a stick of fine incense in the room, and instructed the steward to change the bedding and pillows, and prepare some wine and food for his arrival. He then cleaned himself, which goes without saying. As evening approached, and he was lost in thought, he suddenly heard someone say, "Master Zhong is here." [This sentence is vividly written. At this moment, Qian Gui's mind was solely focused on Zhong Sheng; he couldn't see, but listened intently. Suddenly hearing the words "Master Zhong is here" was like a thunderclap in his ears, filling him with immense joy, though he hadn't heard whose voice it was.] Qian Gui's face lit up with joy, and since no one was around, he quickly slipped out of the room. Zhong Sheng had already approached and helped him up, saying, "How have you been, my esteemed friend?" Qian Gui, recognizing Zhong Sheng, felt as if he had been sent from heaven. The two took hands and entered the room to sit down. The steward quickly lit a large candle and brought tea. When Hao Shi heard that the poor scholar had come again, she couldn't help but feel angry. She glanced at him and saw that although his clothes weren't extravagant, they were much more presentable than before. Fearing there might be payment for prostitution this time, she feigned a smile and sat with the woman for a while before leaving. [This passage both alludes to the snobbishness of the prostitute and the fact that Zhong received a gift from Qian Gui during his lifetime.] Seeing that Hao had left, Zhong Sheng took Qian Gui's hand and said, "Since parting from you, I have almost neglected sleep and meals, deeply moved by your affection, which I dream of. Because I was too busy studying, I haven't had a chance to visit. I intended to come after yesterday's exam, but I was exhausted and rested at home. [These few sentences are absolutely essential; otherwise, given Zhong Sheng's deep affection for Qian Gui, why would he need an appointment to come?] I planned to come this morning, but a friend visited, and I couldn't get away. At noon, I met Brother Mei, who said you looked haggard. He also saw your excellent writing and knew you missed me dearly, so I came to see you today." Qian Gui said, "Since we parted, my longing for you is too much to express in a short time; I will tell you in detail later. But did you do well in yesterday's literary competition?" Zhong Sheng said, "I worked very hard in the competition yesterday, although..." "I feel I have considerable talent, but I fear my abilities are insufficient and my fate unkind. I wonder if I could possibly win the favor of the emperor?" Qian Gui said, "My lord, you are highly talented. Although you may not win the top prize, you will certainly be the best. I have already had a wonderful dream, and your success is certain. Moreover, with such affection, how could Heaven not take pity on you?" Zhong Sheng patted his back and laughed, "What dream did you have, my dear friend? Perhaps you were hoping for my good fortune, so you expressed it in your dream." Qian Gui said, "No, since we made our vows, I have had a portrait of the Bodhisattva Cihang painted and offered to you. Every morning and evening, I devoutly burn incense and bow in prayer, asking for your silent blessing. I do not follow the foolish man's example of fasting and chanting Buddhist scriptures. Every day, I simply recite Xiaoqing's four lines of poetry: ' I bow before the Bodhisattva Cihang, may I not be reborn in the West, nor in Heaven. I wish to shed a drop of dew from a willow branch, so that we may become twin lotus blossoms in the human world.'"

The servant recited his words as if they were scriptures. That night, in a state between dream and reality, I heard a commotion in the air. Suddenly, I heard a loud voice calling my name: "Ranked forty-eighth, Zhong Qing, twice unmoved by beauty, thus achieving high honors." I awoke joyfully from my dream and hurriedly went to the altar of the Bodhisattva to bow in reverence. The lamp on the altar, which is lit every night, suddenly exploded with a strange sound, hitting my face. The servant also said that the lamp suddenly emitted two flames, brighter than usual. Is this not a sign of my lord's great success? My lord must have performed some other meritorious deed. "Upon hearing this dream, Zhong Sheng thought of the events involving Lady Xi and Lady Li a month or so ago. He felt the words weren't entirely unfounded, and was both fearful and delighted. He feared the divine presence was ever-present; to act against one's conscience was to harm oneself, and to deceive others was to deceive Heaven. If he had acted improperly the other day, it would have been a fatal mistake. He was delighted that if the dream came true, not only would he bring honor to his ancestors, but he could also marry the man to repay his debt of gratitude. Although he thought this way, he refused to mention Lady Xi and Lady Li. He said, 'I am but a poor scholar; where would I have accumulated any merit? As for not being tempted by beauty, I have never dared to commit adultery with another man's wife or daughter in my life.' As he spoke, the waiter brought in wine and food, arranging them neatly. Qian Gui took a wine cup, filled it with fragrant wine, held it high in his hand, and offered it to Zhong Sheng. Zhong Sheng smiled and quickly rose to accept it, saying, 'We are old friends; why should you, sir, show such kindness?' Qian Gui smiled and said, 'Congratulations to the newly appointed nobleman; how could I not show my respect?'" Zhong Sheng poured himself a cup and said, "If I were the new nobleman, you would be his wife, and I should also offer you a toast." He handed it to Qian Gui, who accepted it, and the two drank together with smiles.

The attendant poured another cup, and the two poured themselves a toast, sharing their lovesickness and deep affection, laughing and talking, enjoying themselves immensely. Qian Gui said, "Since parting from you, I have found my place in this world, and I composed a quatrain to express my joy. But the language is crude and unpalatable; I'm sure my love won't laugh at me." Zhong Sheng said, "Your work is excellent, naturally exquisite. We know each other well, why the sudden use of such humble language?" Qian Gui said, "I'm not being modest; I've repeatedly made a fool of myself before you, lest I offend your eyes." She then asked the attendant to bring out the poem from before and handed it to Zhong Sheng. Zhong Sheng took it and read it, saying, "Your work is excellent; even Ban Jieyu and Daoyun could not surpass it." "But you have high hopes for me. I wonder if I am fortunate enough to live up to your expectations?" Qian Gui said, "You need not worry about passing the imperial examination. But there is one thing: once you pass the examination, I will be eager for our wedding night." Zhong Sheng said, "This is a major matter for me. Why do you need to tell me?" The two drank several more cups. Qian Gui then recounted how he had vowed never to see anyone since their parting, despite his mother's coercion. He explained that when Huan E came to visit, he told her about his mother's pleading and his own predicament. He added, "I have truly failed you. I hope you will forgive me." Zhong Sheng said, "How could I not know your feelings? But your actions for me have filled me with both gratitude and shame. As for your predicament of serving Huan E, he is a notorious, foolish young master in the area. Although I have never met him, I have heard his ridicule and insults for a long time. Your willingness to serve him yesterday was a wise move. Otherwise, if that foolish young master had suddenly become foolish, something unforeseen might have happened." Qian Gui recounted in detail how the three men had used vulgar and pretentious language, and how they had ridiculed him with drinking games. He also showed Zhong Sheng the poem he had composed to tease them, and the two men laughed heartily. After drinking a few more cups, they asked the steward to clear away the dishes and cups before going to bed hand in hand, undressing and retiring. This was after half a year of separation and two meetings, and their affection had only grown stronger. Their tender moments and elaborate plans need not be described. The next day, Qian Gui said to Zhong Sheng, "Now that you have nothing to do, why don't you stay a few more days until the results are announced, then return home to hear the good news?" Zhong Sheng agreed and settled in.

As for that Niu woman, she was carried naked from the gate of the Censorate to her parents' house. [It's likely that since ancient times, no married daughter has ever returned home naked to visit her parents; Niu woman was certainly the first of her kind.] Her birth mother, Ji, seeing her daughter dressed like this, tears welled in her eyes, and helped her to her room, quickly getting her clothes to change. Seeing her lower body naked, she gritted her teeth and cursed the servants, then quickly gave her a new pair of trousers. Seeing she was still wearing slippers, she also gave her high-soled shoes and a pleated robe, telling her to put them on. After washing and dressing, [her feet were very delicate.] Wearing slippers and unwashed, she was captured in the middle of the night. She went to the main room and saw Niu Zhi. Niu Shi burst into tears, blaming her father for marrying her off to such a dull-witted son-in-law, who only knew how to eat and dress, and couldn't manage any household affairs. With her parents-in-law not home, she had to take charge of the household, but these servants were unruly. The day before yesterday, when she went to her parents-in-law's place, they asked her questions, and she explained in detail. Each of them had been beaten, which her brother witnessed, and they harbored resentment. Yesterday, feeling restless, she summoned an old monk to recite scriptures. At night, she told him to sleep in the ancestral hall. The others... A man and a woman conspired together. This morning, around dawn, they went upstairs and dragged the monk down. I thought it was a robbery and was so scared I collapsed on the bed. They were like wolves and tigers, fierce demons, who dragged me out of bed and did this to frame me. Father, think about it, an eighty or ninety-year-old monk, easily blown away by a gust of wind, what evil could he possibly do? If it were a younger one, I wouldn't have kept him. Even if my son-in-law doesn't know anything, if I did something shameless, and my foster mother was his wet nurse, would he tolerate it? With my parents-in-law not around, Father, I won't stand up for him. I'm in charge, I have no face to go to his house. [A woman skilled in adultery, even if I'm not good at talking, this is nothing unusual. An old saying goes: a woman's virtue lies in her lack of talent. A woman with a silver tongue and skillful words, without cunning, how could she achieve this? A foolish and dull woman, unable to utter a single word, even if she wanted to adulter, would lack this talent. One must be very wary of a capable and eloquent wife.] Although Gou was forty-eight or forty-nine at this time, and her son Niu Geng was already quite grown, he still often compared his belly with Hu Dan's, practicing the method of massaging the navel to expel air. Fearing gossip, she interjected: "My son, don't be anxious. Don't say you're too young to have done such a thing, that they're framing you. Even if your master is incompetent and has done such a shameful thing, even a servant can't control him. If these servants are so presumptuous, and your father doesn't stand up for you, outsiders will laugh at you, and they'll consider your father unworthy of respect." "

When Niu Zhi heard that his daughter had been disgraced, he was furious and even cursed Ji Shi, saying that he was a bad mother who had raised a daughter who was not good enough. At this moment, Ji Shi said from the side, 'Master was angry when he scolded me, so I dared not say anything. Master, do you think such a beautiful and well-mannered daughter is not good enough? [She may not know other things, but she probably knows the two poems of Zheng and Wei from the Book of Songs very well.] If our daughter really did something bad, [Your daughter really didn't do anything bad?] she would have to swallow her pride. Today, she has been framed by these servants. If we don't clear her name, not only will our poor daughter never be able to hold her head up and be able to face people for the rest of her life, but even you, a man of integrity, will find it difficult to face your relatives and friends.'

Hearing his daughter's clever words, and provoked by Gou Shi and Ji Shi's words, Niu Zhi was furious and said, 'These servants have not only disgraced my family, but also their master.'" "My son, you don't need to cry or be angry. I will avenge you and execute these servants to vent my anger. I will also write to our in-laws, telling them the details of this adultery plot." Niu Zhi then went to his cousin, Minister Niu, and told him everything. Minister Niu was also furious and ordered his chief clerk to invite the Censor-in-Chief, explaining the situation in detail and entrusting him to punish the servants severely.

What official wouldn't be angry to hear that a servant had falsely accused his master? Especially since it was his teacher's words, they must be true. The next day, he went to court and brought up the matter. He had seen his teacher's instructions the day before, and after thinking about it carefully, he was still worried about potential corruption and was not entirely at ease. Now, seeing this monk so old and frail... He was used to feigning old age, walking as if he were about to stumble; how could he possibly engage in such frivolous activities? [This lawsuit is strange; the monk, originally the defendant, unexpectedly became a witness.] Besides, would that sixteen or seventeen-year-old woman love such an old man? It's clearly a fabricated affair. Seeing these servants, strong and sturdy young men, so stubborn and unyielding, they were even more undoubtedly accomplices in harming their master. He slammed his fist on the table in fury, saying, "You servants, treacherous and cunning, have framed and disgraced your mistress; you deserve ten thousand deaths! If every household had wicked servants like you, no one would dare use servants!" Wu Zhi retorted, "We followed our master to catch them in the act of adultery; how could that be framing our mistress?" "Just as everyone was about to protest, the censor grew even angrier and shouted for them to be slapped. A voice responded, and several blows were delivered with the soles of his boots, blood gushing from their mouths. He ordered them to be taken away, and the servants shouted and took them away. Every time they opened their mouths, they were slapped. These servants could only grit their teeth and endure it, and were then given fifty more strokes of the cane, forty strokes each. The monk had entered the inner room; he should have received a light punishment of eighty strokes, but he was spared and expelled. The censor returned to his private residence and sent someone to inform his teacher. Minister Niu..." He thanked them profusely and immediately sent his family to inform Niu Zhi. The couple, mother and son, were overjoyed, finally venting their anger. These men, who all worked as servants in the high-ranking official's household, were used to swindling money and enjoying themselves by relying on their masters' power; they had never suffered such severe torture, being beaten and slapped so hard. Moreover, they hadn't yet recovered from the heavy blows they had received from the old master; this was adding insult to injury. Both men died from the flogging. The three men were carried back, and after a few days, the debts were settled.

Meanwhile, Ma Shiying, having received a letter from his in-laws, felt truly embarrassed. He immediately sent someone back that night to reply, apologizing profusely and ordering his daughter-in-law to be brought home. He also ordered the servants to be taken to their post for severe punishment, but later learned they were all dead. Another letter arrived, ordering the sale of all the servants. Seeing his in-laws' thoughtfulness, Niu Zhi sent his daughter back. Niu Shi thoroughly scrubbed the maids and servants from head to toe, then beat them meticulously to vent her anger. She then summoned the matchmaker to take them away, instructing that they all be sold to brothels, with the price to be split equally with her. This matchmaker, however, was utterly heartless and treacherous; did he have even a shred of conscience? These were merely words spoken in the heat of the moment by his master; he only cared about getting a larger share of the money and obeyed the order, sending all the women into brothels.

Xiang Gu only wanted to send them to hell, to vent her pent-up resentment and find temporary pleasure. He never imagined that these women, once in this place, would be afraid of him using his position as mistress to beat and scold her. Filled with resentment, he encountered an old woman and proceeded to sing the praises of his mistress, adding insult to injury. The name of this beloved daughter-in-law of Ma Shiying, the beloved daughter of Niu Zhi, the beloved daughter of the fool, whose childhood name was Xianggu, spread far and wide, becoming widely known. Although Xianggu sent the man to hell, her own reputation also went to hell. The ancients aptly said: "

Be thorough in self-criticism, be lenient in criticizing others."

Truly insightful. Although Xianggu vented her anger, she dared not recruit the monk again and instead bought several honest maids to serve her. Two or three months later, Niu suddenly fell ill with acid reflux and vomiting. She lost her appetite and could not get out of bed. Little did she know that she was pregnant with the monk's child, and this illness was her only symptom. She had never experienced such symptoms before and simply thought it was a general discomfort. Yang, the wet nurse of Matai, knew all about Niu's affairs. But the monk was someone she had brought upon herself; he entertained Niu during the day, but then took her to entertain him at night. Since it was her fault, she couldn't bring herself to say it. Secondly, Matai was someone she had raised, and she wanted to save face; how could she accuse Niu of adultery? She couldn't say it, but she couldn't remain silent, so she simply pretended ignorance. Even so, she feared her master's reproach and was filled with worry. Only when the matter was resolved did she feel relieved.

Now, seeing Niu ill, Yang didn't suspect it was morning sickness. She had only briefly slept with the old monk; how could she be pregnant with a little monk? She sent for a doctor she often visited, named Dong Bude. [His name originally meant "spreading blessings in spring."] She borrowed his name and gave him the nickname "Dong Bude" (meaning "unable to understand") to come and see Xianggu. Upon entering the inner room, Niu reached out her hand from behind the curtain. This man, not knowing where to place his three fingers, pressed them together and said, "I understand. Is this a grandmother or a young girl? If it's a grandmother, it seems she's pregnant. If it's a young girl, then it's definitely not." Yang Shi said, "It's a grandmother." He said, "Grandma, is this grandmother pregnant?" Yang Shi said, "Sir, why are you asking me this while examining her pulse?" He said, "Grandma, that's not how it works. I'm not a tapeworm in her stomach, how would I know if she's pregnant or not? The pulse might suggest pregnancy, but I can't be sure. You can tell by looking at how big her belly is." Yang Shi said, "I can't tell." He said, "It seems not. Perhaps it's a cold, food stagnation, or maybe menstrual irregularities." Yang Shi said, "She's been nauseous and vomiting, has a poor appetite, and her period hasn't come for two or three months." This man said, "What do you mean? I'm a living god, I can read any pulse." "I knew it was indigestion. This nausea and vomiting means there's undigested food in your chest. And this menstrual flow isn't normal, or maybe you're pregnant? What's the big deal? In ten days, I guarantee you'll feel a little better." Madam Yang asked, "Sir, what medicine should I use? Please prescribe something." He replied, "Indigestion like this, taking decoctions will damage the spleen and bones. Besides, I'm afraid it might be pregnancy, and decocting medicine would harm the fetus. Surely, the most respectable lady in your household isn't so easily treated with medicine? My family has a miraculous elixir, a panacea passed down from a divine being, made from an ancestral formula, curing all diseases. It will slowly wear away the ailment, clearing away the stagnation, and you'll naturally feel better. But this medicine is very expensive. I'm doing this partly to cultivate my health, and according to the original recipe, it only costs five qian of silver per pill. Take ten pills first, and if you feel better, that's fine. If not, take another ten pills, and you'll see some effect. If you're cured, you should thank me. I'll be frugal first, then consider myself a gentleman. I'll say this now." Having said this, he got up and left.

Why would anyone want five taels of silver? So he sealed it up and took ten pills. What he had was hardly medicine. He knew nothing of medical principles, yet he still had a conscience—[Who among today's doctors has a conscience?]—and dared not prescribe any medicine for fear of harming people. [With this little bit of compassion, he should be rich. Compared to quack doctors who waste people's money, how different is that?] He took rice, roasted it until burnt, ground it into flour, and made it into pills the size of walnuts. [This medicine can not only cure illness but also prepare for famine. In a year of famine, without food, taking two or three pills would surely help one survive a day.] He took one pill each time, mixed with hot water. He didn't set a fixed price; he always depended on the customer's cost, ranging from three, five, one, and five fen. He would even sell it to poor families for ten coins. The medicine itself shouldn't cost more than two fen per pill; there was still a profit of seven or eight fen. Families with seriously ill patients, seeing that the medicine wasn't effective, would inevitably seek other doctors. Those with mild illnesses recovered, yet he insisted on claiming credit and receiving thanks. He was simply incredibly lucky; those who sought his help were all suffering from illnesses that shouldn't have killed them, and his "Guoba Dan" (

a type of traditional Chinese medicine) cured many. One old soldier, suffering from a sudden illness, consulted him, and a single pill of Guoba Dan cured him. It was unknown what caused the sudden onset of the illness, but it would recur just as quickly. The old soldier, believing it to be his miraculous cure, presented him with a plaque inscribed with the four characters "Yi Bi Hui Chun" (One Dagger Brings Spring Back). Some illiterate people read it as "Yi Qi Hui Chun" (One Seven Returns to Spring), saying he had brought back to life those who had died seventeen years prior, thus spreading the word throughout the city that he was a renowned physician. Over time, he accepted the title of "famous doctor" without question.

This woman, surnamed Niu, took more than ten of his pills; she had been harming a child, and after a few days, she miraculously recovered. She then received treatment from Ma Tai's miraculous acupuncture, and indeed, all her ailments disappeared, yet this ignorant woman demanded a small reward. But this Ma Tai was extremely simple-minded; what kind of miraculous acupuncture would he use? There was a reason. When Yangshi saw that Xianggu was ill and the pills weren't working, she suspected that the young woman was pregnant with the little monk's penis. Little did she know that the little monk was the culprit. But Matai, so simple-minded, couldn't be taught anything further, so she quickly came up with an idea. She said to her husband, Shanyou, "This fool is so dull, what should we do? We don't need to be afraid of him, we can just teach him right in front of us. Maybe he'll learn. Otherwise, we'll be ruining someone else's daughter, what will become of us?" Shanyou said, "Alright, that's how it will work."

The couple stripped naked, and had Matai sit beside them watching, while they taught him. Shanyou pointed out his vulva to him, and showed him his own penis, then had him watch as he inserted it, thrusting in and out. After asking him several times if he understood, he said, "I married that woman to you, that's how you're supposed to do it." He understood and nodded in agreement. The couple then performed the act vigorously, showing him how it was done. Dan You, still not convinced, pulled down his pants to check. His penis was hard and large. He repeatedly instructed him, pinching his penis and pointing to Yang's vulva, saying, "Tonight, you and that woman, take this inside him." He saw Yang's vulva wide open, covered in black hair, and pointed, saying, "I'm afraid this bearded mouth will bite my penis." The couple couldn't help but burst into laughter. Dan You touched his teeth, saying, "There's no such thing, it won't bite." Afraid he was frightened, he pulled him down, fanning his vulva open for him to see, saying, "You see, there are no teeth?" Yang smiled and said to him, "Don't be afraid, that person doesn't even have a beard, just a bare mouth." Dan You, fearing he still didn't understand, the two of them performed another scene for him.

That evening, Yang brought him upstairs; by then, Niu was already asleep. Yang called all the maids out, closed the door, and whispered in Niu's ear, "I've taught him. You two should get married." Niu pretended to be shy and refused, but Yang said, "This is a major event in your life. You still need to teach him? And you're still like this?" She then began to undress Niu. Niu, who was in a state of lust, only smiled shyly, closed her eyes, and let her do as she pleased. After she made him lie on his back, she undressed Ma Tai, helped him onto the bed, and then took a candle to shine on it, pointing to it and saying, "Is it without a beard or teeth? Don't be afraid." Seeing that his penis had also sprang up, Yang helped it up to his stomach, pinched his penis, and aligned it. She laughed and said, "We taught you to move it like this first, so you can move it too. I'm going now." Ma Tai said, "Mother, will you still take me to sleep?" Yang said, "Let him take you. I'll sleep over there and come to take you tomorrow." She laughed, closed the door, and left. Although the man was dull-witted, Niu was delighted to see that he possessed a well-formed penis, even larger and more prominent than a monk's. Seeing him lying motionless, she held his hips and said, "Move a little." She then began to thrust in and out of him. He gradually understood and continued for a while. Niu even came once, feeling immense joy. She saw him move a few more times, then lie down and call out, "Wash, wash." Niu thought he needed to defecate and quickly said, "If you need to defecate, get down on the floor." He said, "No, I want to wash happily." Hearing him say he wanted to defecate happily, Niu feared he might defecate on the bed while in a daze, so she shouted loudly, "Mother, something bad has happened! Come quickly!"

Yangshi hadn't gone to sleep yet, waiting to hear what was going on, when suddenly Niushi called him, saying something was wrong. Not knowing what the errand was, she rushed over. She saw Matai still sleeping on her stomach, refusing to get down, and asked what was wrong. Niushi told her about defecating. Yangshi laughed so hard she almost fell over, saying, "You've misunderstood! He has a lisp and doesn't speak clearly. He probably relieved himself, and was probably very happy. He's never done it before. He said, 'I'm going to die, I'm going to die,' and when you told him to go defecate, he got anxious and said, 'No, I'm happy to die!' It doesn't mean he's going to defecate happily in bed! That's enough, that's your good fortune; he's actually quite perceptive!" Only then did Niushi understand the reason and couldn't help but laugh heartily. Yangshi laughed and teased Matai, "Get down, I'll take you to sleep. Watch him pinch your penis." Matai said, "I want him to take me to sleep, not you. My penis is inside that toothless, beardless place, I'm not afraid he'll pinch it." As he spoke, he started to move and twitch. Only then did Yangshi feel relieved and go to sleep. Matai actually did it all night. He was not capable of staying up all night. This simpleton had just tasted this delicious treat, and he was unwilling to finish it. He would lie down and sleep for a while after ejaculating, and when he got a little hard, Niushi would tell him to move, and he would move without stopping. When she told him to stop, he would stop and not move, so he did it all night. Niushi was delicate and timid. Although carrying him was difficult, she had to endure it because it was beneficial to her.

When dawn came, he still refused to get down. When Niushi pushed him, he hugged her tightly and pressed down hard. Niushi was so pressed down that she could not breathe. In desperation, she called for Yangshi again. Yang Shi also got up and hurried over. Niu Shi said, "He won't get up, he's pressing down on me so hard I'm about to faint, what should I do?" Yang Shi said, "That's easy, I'll coax him." It turned out this simpleton had a sweet tooth, and Yang Shi was used to coaxing him. She went to the bedside and said, "Get up, I'll give you some candy." When Ma Tai heard that he would get candy, he quickly sat up, but Yang Shi took the opportunity to pull him down, saying, "I'll dress you, then I'll give you some candy." After dressing him, she indeed gave him some candy before stopping. Only then could Niu Shi get up. From then on, he wouldn't leave Niu Shi's side for a moment. Even when Niu Shi went to the back of the bed to use the chamber pot, he followed her and squatted beside her. Occasionally, during the day, when he was in a good mood, he would pull Niu Shi around and want to do it, regardless of the maids and servants in front of him. Niu Shi couldn't resist him, and besides, it wasn't anything too difficult, so she would ask someone to go out and close the door, and let him do it.
One day, after dinner, with nothing to do, Niu asked a maid to bring her a pillow and lay sprawled on the bench. Ma Tai, seeing her mouth sticking out, mistook it for her vulva. Intrigued, he pulled down his trousers, revealing his erect penis, and grabbed Xiang Gu's head, shoving it into her mouth. The maids, seeing this, laughed and ran outside to watch him. Xiang Gu couldn't help but laugh and quickly covered her mouth, but he continued to rub it against her face. Xiang Gu grabbed his penis, saying, "This isn't it." She pulled down his trousers, pulled his hand to her vulva, and said, "This is it." He looked at it, then let go of her head, and performed an act on his upper body. Later, this became a habit; whenever the maids saw their master pulling down his mistress's trousers, they would close the door and leave. Every evening, he would pull Niu to bed, insisting on spending the night on her belly, completely at Xiang Gu's beck and call, quite to his liking. She doted on this simpleton, treating him like a precious treasure. She thought to herself: If I had married a clever husband, he might not be so at my beck and call. Instead, he blamed his foster mother, saying that if she had taught him this skill earlier, why would he have bothered seeking out that old monk?

But enough of that. Seven months after their marriage, Niu gave birth to a son. Her family sent lavish gifts: clothes, bedding, a cradle, incense burner, and various kinds of porridge and rice, needless to say. Her family sent messengers to her parents-in-law's homes to announce the good news, while the matchmaker hired two wet nurses, and an artist painted the egg. The women dyed red and green fruits, which were then sent to relatives and friends on the third day after birth—the whole family was bustling with activity. Poor foolish boy, he sat beside Niu, staring blankly. He didn't know where his son came from, nor even what a son was. He accepted the fruits and eggs offered to him, but refused them. Only he and his foster mother truly understood that this child born to Xianggu was neither a colt nor a calf, but a little donkey offspring of that bald donkey. A four-line ditty mocked him: "

Who gave birth to this child? How did he become a descendant of the Ma family?"
Perhaps it was because of his dull-witted nature, but one could find out by asking his mother.

On the third day after Xianggu gave birth, Gou and Ji came to see their grandson for his third-day celebration. Xianggu was afraid that Matai, being dull-witted, might suddenly become a nuisance and try to get her to do things, which would be a laughingstock. So she asked Yangshi to coax him out with candy. Ever since the night Xianggu gave birth, he had been trying to get her to do things, how could she let him? Xianggu told Yangshi that it took a lot of effort to coax him to sleep outside. But he would come back in as soon as it was light, wanting to do things during the day. So she would coax him with candy, but after about twenty days, she couldn't coax him no matter what. At night, he refused to go out and insisted on sleeping with Xianggu. Yangshi had no choice but to let him have his way. After going to bed, he insisted on doing things with Xianggu, and since Xianggu was clean, she let him do as he pleased.

Meanwhile, the family went to Fengyang to announce the good news. Ma Shiying and Jianshi were overjoyed, thinking they had gained their eldest grandson, and they celebrated in the government office for several days. He brought back a great deal of gold, silver, silk, and clothes for his wife, as well as numerous kylin pendants, necklaces, bracelets, bells, and other such items from his subordinates, and richly rewarded the messenger before returning home. Later, although some people knew the child's origins were dubious, they could only laugh and curse behind his back; who dared to speak ill of him to his face? When the child turned seven, a tutor was hired to give him a formal name. The tutor, knowing his background, said, "Among the four talented men of the Tang Dynasty, Lu Zhaolin was even more outstanding. This child will surpass him in the future; therefore, we will name him Ma Jia Lu (马加卢)." Ma Shiying was delighted, unaware of the hidden meaning: adding the character "Lu" to "Ma" (马) implied the offspring of a bald donkey. In the past, the Jin Dynasty exchanged oxen for horses; today, his family exchanged donkeys for horses. How unfortunate was the Ma family! This is truly a case of:

Zhang Gong drinking, Li Gong going mad, Sheng Liu giving birth to Zheng Jiulian.
A worn-out horse gets a foal, a donkey breeds, a treacherous minister cuts off his heir—a punishment from Heaven.

But that's another story. Now, Huan'e, Jia, Tong, and Wu, after Qian Gui's family had dispersed, met together again a few days later. Huan E said to Jia Wenwu, "That girl Qian Gui is indeed quite talented, and she's very ruthless. If it weren't for our limited knowledge [only knowledge of farming and gardening], we would have been stumped by her." Wu He said, "At first, she was a bit arrogant, but thanks to Master Jia's encouragement and the Master's extraordinary book, we were finally subdued." Tong Zida said, "They only say she's good at writing, but I only love her beauty. Whenever I see my mistress's appearance, I can't help but feel afraid. Yesterday, when I saw her delicate and charming appearance, I was completely captivated. If it weren't for that nasty poem I was thinking about, even though it's not appropriate to touch her lower body, just pinching her nipples and smelling her fragrance would have been nice. It's such a waste. Next time I go to see her, even if you two brothers are angry, I'm definitely going to touch her. It won't be in vain that I endured that slap from my mistress." Everyone laughed at this. Huan E said, "I saw that the gold fan he was holding had many words written on it, including several poems. He must have taken it because the poems were good. Later, he hurriedly asked the maid to put it away for him. It must have been a gift from his lover, which is why he treasures it like this." Jia Wenwu said, "The Book of Songs can be summed up in one sentence: praising other people's works. One poem is enough. Why bother with so many? He is certainly not a talented person." Wu He said, "Master Jia is right. What kind of poems has he seen? Master, you should also write a poem in the same rhyme scheme to put him down." Jia Wenwu hurriedly said, "Am I a gentleman? Besides, poetry and literature are refined. How could I deign to give it to a blind prostitute? Indeed, the reason I cannot give it is because of the high price." Huan E said, "Although I would not deign to give it to him, composing poems to gain fame is still the mark of a talented person." "Excellent, my worthy brother, hurry up and do it!" Tong Zida said, "Eldest brother is a young master from a high-ranking official family, while I am just a wealthy young master. It's fine if I don't write a poem. Second brother, you are a scholar who has passed the imperial examination, and also a young master who is not quite grown up. [Truly an extraordinary title.] If you don't write a poem to scare him, [writing a poem can scare people, an extraordinary statement.] he will laugh at you." Jia Wenwu then declined, saying, "Yesterday, I was sitting and drinking, and my mind was elsewhere. I don't know what the rhyme scheme is." Wu He said, "When the gentlemen were playing drinking games, I carefully looked through them. It was five poems in one rhyme scheme. Although I can't remember them, I do remember the rhymes." Huan E said, "Tell me quickly." Wu He took a pen, found a piece of paper on the table, [it's strange that Huan E found a piece of paper on the table. I wonder what he wants it for?] He wrote down the four rhymes: Duo, Luo, Ge, and Bo, and handed them to Jia Wenwu. Jia Wenwu saw them and had no excuse. He could only say, "I will obey when we are in a good mood after a few drinks." Wu He said, "That's how it should be. Even Li Bai, who could write a hundred poems after drinking a bucket of wine, had to drink before he could write a poem." Huan E then asked his family to bring out the wine.

Before long, the dishes were laid out, and everyone drank together. Only Jia Wenwu, who had promised to compose a poem, declined, saying he was too drunk and might be embarrassed if he couldn't come up with anything right away. Therefore, he looked distressed and couldn't eat. After a while, he thought: "The other three are all limited in their abilities; I can only manage eight lines." Thinking this, he felt half relieved. Then he thought again: "Fine, fine, but I'm afraid if I pay too much, and people see it's my work, wouldn't I become a laughingstock and ruin my reputation?" Lost in thought, holding his wine cup, Jia Wenwu was asked by Huan'e, "Brother, what's troubling you today? You seem so downcast, even your drinking has lost its flavor." He replied cryptically, "My elder brother just asked me to compose a poem to present to Qian Gui. Since it was his order, refusing would be disrespectful, so I dare not refuse. But if I give it to him, I fear even the disciples of sages wouldn't write a poem for a blind courtesan. If people find out, this is a disgraceful name that even the most filial son and grandson cannot wash away for generations. My elder brother can keep it at home, but please don't let it out the door." Huan'e said, "Since you say so, brother, just start writing. Just say it was written by a famous person, and don't sign it." He then had a servant bring over another table and set out a brush and inkstone. Jia Wenwu had no choice but to think for a long time before finally picking up the brush and writing. He wrote and revised, revised and wrote again, going through more than ten sheets of paper before finally copying it neatly. Wu He said, "Master Jia has put so much effort into this; it must be very skillful. How fortunate Qian Gui is to have obtained such a piece!" Jia Wenwu wrote it down and handed it to Huan E, saying, "Please instruct me." Huan E said, "I have devoted myself to the classics since childhood, and I have not paid much attention to poetry. I am afraid that if I recite it without a clear and resonant voice, I will ruin your poem. Why don't you recite it yourself, my dear brother, so that we can hear it?" Jia Wenwu then hummed and mumbled as he recited: "

Her face is less than that of Qian Gu, her eyes are more like those of a blind prostitute.

" Huan E said, "What a fine poem! Just two lines, only ten characters, yet it perfectly captures the essence of a beautiful wife." Wu He said, "None of his poems are even properly composed from beginning to end. Master, it's almost like a regulated verse." He then recited: "

In the morning, she wears silk from the capital; in the afternoon, she changes into brocade from Zhejiang."

Wu He said, "These two place names are perfectly matched, needless to say. The description of him wearing Tun silk in the morning and changing to Hangzhou silk at noon perfectly captures the early autumn weather." Huan E said, "You're quite perceptive. It's remarkable that you can even explain such a fine poem, Second Brother." Jia Wenwu said, "If I hadn't traveled north by official carriage, I wouldn't have remembered the three unusual words 'silk in the capital.'" He then recited: "

The singing voice is like weeping,"

and said, "Brother, you don't know, this line is classical Chinese. I'm quick-witted and studious, and I admire antiquity. I've recorded in Su Shi's writings that there are words like weeping and lamenting, which I've specifically quoted to praise." He then recited: "

The humming during intercourse is like singing.

" Wu He slapped the table and praised, "What a wonderful imitation, truly divine!" Jia Wenwu then recited: "

After a bout of lovemaking, the lustful fluids ripple in the clear waves."

Huan E said, "What a fine poem! It perfectly captures his behavior. I'm afraid Qian Gui, after hearing this poem, will want to become your poetry teacher." Wu He said, "After hearing Master Jia's masterpiece, I'm speechless and can't utter a single word of praise. The last five characters of your poem all use the water radical, which is extremely rare. It's truly a masterpiece for all time." Tong Zida said, "Second brother, I've heard people say that poetry comes from farts. I didn't hear you fart just now, so how did the poem come out? This must be because of your high level of learning." Seeing everyone praising him, Jia Wenwu was overjoyed, his heart itching with excitement. He slumped in his chair with a grinning laugh and said, "I am not someone who is born with knowledge, but someone who loves antiquity and diligently seeks it." Huan E asked someone to fetch a white fan with a finely ground bone from the main room for Jia Wenwu to write on. Wu He said, "Don't even mention that Master Jia's poem is a thousand times better than his; just this fan, Master Jia's, is far superior in its conception. That gold fan is utterly vulgar, while this white fan is so elegant!" After writing on the fan, Jia Wenwu, fearing that the poem might be seen by others, tucked it into his sleeve and handed the fan to Huan E. Huan E said, "Brother, recite it again so we can hear it. Each of us will drink three cups to congratulate you on your poem." Tong Zida said, "I don't understand a single word; what's the point of drinking it?" Wu He said, "Master Jia's work is a rare and precious piece; you should also drink three cups, Master." Jia Wenwu, hearing the praise, became even more excited and hummed along, reciting it again. After everyone had drunk three cups, Huan E ordered three more cups poured for Jia Wenwu, saying, "This is red wine; you should drink it too." Jia Wenwu, with his fiery temper, downed it in one gulp. Huan'e said, "We have the fan. But Qian Gui is ill, so it's not a pleasant trip. We can visit him later if he recovers." He ordered a servant to put the fan away. Huan'e continued, "I see people these days who are completely ignorant. They can't even understand the poems of the ancients, yet they want to compose poems and form poetry societies at the drop of a hat. Are we really less learned than them? The four of us are here; why don't we each try our hand at composing a poem and test our knowledge?" Jia Wenwu said, "Excellent! Without learning poetry, one cannot speak properly. We should learn poetry. Brother, please start." Huan'e said, "It must suit my taste

. If it doesn't, I'll be punished with a big bowl of wine. I'll start." (The last sentence is a proverb and doesn't directly relate to the preceding text.

) Wu He said, "Poetry must have true flavor. Your masterpiece is truly unparalleled throughout the ages." Huan'e was overjoyed and laughed, "Second brother, hurry up and compose!" Jia Wenwu said, "

As a scholar, my wife is serious."

Wu He said, "Master Jia's reply is indeed clever and excellent; you are truly a renowned scholar and a talented man." Jia Wenwu said, "Third brother, come here." Tong Zida said, "Let Brother Wu continue; let me think." Wu He said, "How dare I presume to presume, sir?" Huan E said, "What's wrong with composing a poem? If you have something in your mind, just say it." Wu He said, "Since that's the case, I'll be bold. I'll tell you the truth:

I've only ever been good at being a hanger-on."

Huan E laughed and said, "Not bad, not bad, well done." Jia Wenwu said, "This can be considered merely expressing the meaning." Wu He said, "This is just adding a dog's tail to a sable coat; how dare I accept such high praise from you two gentlemen?" Just then, Tong Zida laughed loudly and said, "I also have a poem now." He then said: "

I want to cry when I see my grandmother. "

Huan E laughed, "Third brother, you've added an extra word. Why are you crying like this?" Tong Zida said, "I'm not like my two brothers pretending to be heroes. I'm an honest man, and I speak my mind. I'm terrified, how could I not cry? An extra word is fine; it doesn't make a poem, but it rhymes." Huan E said to Jia Wenwu, "Brother, write it down. Another day, when their poetry society engraves the poem, I'll host a few banquets and invite those self-proclaimed masters to have our four names engraved on it, so we can be famous far and wide." Wu He said, "The three gentlemen's poem is fine; if you want it engraved, only these three lines. This junior..." "That line is a fart, it doesn't even count." Huan'e said, "What does it matter? Look at those fake poets these days, although they write poems, they're just farting." Jia Wenwu said, "A fart is poetry, and poetry is a fart, two in one, one in two." Tong Zida laughed loudly, "My line is slightly better than yours." Huan'e laughed, "Is it because you can cry?" Tong Zida said, "These seven characters of fart, people fart so often, they've become stagnant farts. Mine, though it's a fart, these eight characters are still a fresh fart, isn't that better?" Everyone laughed for a while. Huan E said, “The other day I went to a relative’s house and saw a group of pretentious scholars composing poems on the topic of ‘The Rising Sun.’ I didn’t understand, so I asked them how to pronounce ‘rising sun.’ They said the word ‘rising’ is pronounced ‘zhao,’ meaning ‘early,’ referring to the sun that rises early in the morning. Why don’t we all compose one for fun? I’ll start.” He thought for a while, then laughed and said, “I’ve got my poem!” He recited aloud: “

The sun rises with a red mouth, [truly unpleasant to hear.] Like rouge staining a winnowing basket. [Nonsense.]
One sun rises each day in the east, [makes sense.] And countless heaps rise in the west. [Good understanding.]” Wu

He said, "Master, you truly possess extraordinary talent and ingenuity. Even the greatest poets of all time might not be able to match your abilities." Huan E laughed and said, "These few lines are indeed difficult for me to come up with. Second brother, please write one as well." Jia Wenwu said, "As the ancients said, 'Once is enough, how can you do it again?' I have already written a poem, so there's no need for another. Third brother, please." Tong Zida said, "I only have two lines. Is that alright?" Wu He said, "The ancients wrote 'The city is filled with wind and rain as the Double Ninth Festival approaches,' and they only had one line. Master, you have two lines already!" Tong Zida laughed and said, "Please listen, everyone, here comes my poem."

This morning, before dawn, I got up and wandered around.

Huan E laughed and said, "What do these two lines mean?" Tong Zida laughed and said, "Let me explain to you, brother. Before dawn, it's not morning. Wandering around, isn't it already the sun?" He laughed again, drank a few more cups, and then dispersed.

Huan'e, feeling pleased with herself, was about to return to her room when Duosi said, "I went upstairs to get the fan, and Madam asked who it was for. I said I didn't know. Someone said it was for Qian Gui. Madam questioned me for a while, but I insisted I didn't know. Master, you must be careful what you say." Huan'e, upon hearing this, exclaimed in surprise, "Oh dear, oh dear! I didn't say Qian Gui was blind. What would have happened if I had let something slip?" She went into the room, and Hou asked, "What did you need the fan for?" Huan'e replied, "Old Wu wanted to give the fan as a birthday gift and came to me for it, so I gave it to him." Hou He said, "I heard you drinking upstairs, asking that Jia fellow to write a poem and a fan as a gift for Qian Gui. If you've been hiding something from me and I find out, don't blame me." Huan E said anxiously, "When have I dared to hide anything from you? It's just that Old Wu wanted to give a fan to that Qian fellow, saying a white fan wasn't suitable as a birthday gift, so he asked Old Jia to write a poem. There's no other reason. Besides, I'm grateful for your kindness, and you even gave me a maid. I'm already busy with household chores, what more could I want?" Hou Shi believed him and fell silent. Huan E was secretly delighted. The two went to bed and went back to their business.

Meanwhile, Jia Wenwu arrived home and entered the room. Fu Shi was still awake. Jia Wenwu took off his towel to loosen his stomach, but unexpectedly, his nemesis pulled out the poem from his sleeve. Jia Wenwu tried to snatch it, but the maid had already picked it up. Fu Shi then said, "Let me see it." The maid hurriedly handed it over, and Fu Shi took it. It turned out that Fu had read a few books in her youth and knew a few characters. Jia Wenwu had often seen her reading storybooks. If Jia Wenwu had remained calm, no matter how Fu argued, he could have managed to evade the question. However, the scoundrel was cowardly, fearing that Fu would realize it was a gift for the blind woman. Upon seeing Fu take it, he frantically wrung his hands and stamped his feet, saying, "What goes around comes around! Heaven is going to destroy this culture! I am doomed! I am doomed!" Seeing his anxiety, Fu became suspicious. She noticed the words "money, woman, prostitute" written on it, which, though she didn't understand them well, seemed strange. She pounded her chest and angrily said, "Did you write this love poem as a token for that prostitute who keeps men? Tell the truth, and I'll spare you from torture!" Jia Wenwu was terrified, his courage shattered, and he stood there dumbfounded, not daring to utter a sound. Fu grew angrier the more she thought about it and questioned him repeatedly. He just stared blankly, without saying a word. Madam Fu was furious and scolded, "If you haven't done anything wrong, why won't you answer?" Jia Wenwu struggled for a moment before managing to say, "I'm doomed, what can I say?" Madam Fu said, "I don't have the strength to ask you anything. I don't know either. Tomorrow I'll take it to someone and see what it's for, then I'll settle accounts with you. Now come and kneel down." Jia Wenwu knelt down, and Madam Fu loosened his hair, tied it into a flat bun, and ordered a maid to bring a lampstand, placing it on his head. She instructed, "Since you seek pleasure and amor, you must also suffer some torment. Bear it well; if oil is spilled or the lamp goes out, you can forget about living." Jia Wenwu's face turned ashen, and he knelt there, uttering not a word. Madam Fu gave these instructions and went to bed. Jia Wenwu knelt all night, his bones and muscles aching, his knees swollen like bowls, unable to move an inch. He dared not utter a sound, lest he awaken the Heavenly Venerable One on the bed, bringing another great calamity. Tears welled in his eyes, he grinned and grimaced until dawn. His usual refined, scholarly tone vanished completely.

As the sun rose, Madam Fu rose to wash and dress. Jia Wenwu pleaded, "Wang Hesi is angry, yet he has no complaints. How could I be so fond of arguing? But I am wronged and cannot stand up for myself; how unjust and bitter!" Seeing his disheveled state, Madam Fu ordered a maid to remove the lampstand, but still made him kneel, saying, "I will trouble someone to read the poem before I speak." She then ordered a servant to take the poem outside and have a family member deliver it to Gan Bujiao to see what kind of poem it was. At that moment, Jia Wenwu's heart was pounding like fifteen buckets of water being drawn up and down. He didn't know what to say, his heart leaping wildly, unsure of the outcome.

Before long, a messenger returned with the message: "When Master Gan saw this poem, he laughed heartily. He said he'd never seen such incomprehensible poetry before; it's probably just nonsense from a folk song, I don't know what it's for, or maybe he copied it as a joke." [This is how Jia Jinshi was demoted.] Fu felt bad for making things difficult for him all night. She asked Jia Wenwu, "Is this really from a folk song? Don't lie to me." Jia Wenwu repeatedly said, "If Madam doesn't speak, she's sure of the truth. Who am I lying to? Heaven?" Fu said, "Since that's the case, why didn't you explain last night? Since it's not a love poem for someone, I'll let you get up." Jia Wenwu finally managed to get up after a long while, rubbing his knees, saying, "Does it hurt? Who else but Madam is hurting from kneeling?" After rubbing for a while, he limped to the front study, secretly pleased: Thank goodness for my savior, otherwise, how could I have survived? He chuckled to himself, thinking, "I've heard people say that Li Bai and Du Fu are the greatest poets of all time. Both of them had tragic lives and died young. I've only managed to write one poem in my entire life, and I've already suffered this hardship. If I were to write another, I'd be like Tang Sanzang in 'Journey to the West,' enduring all eighty-one tribulations, and would be forever barred from poetry." He chuckled to himself. Having

spent the night without sleep, he was exhausted and aching all over. He drank two cups of hot wine to warm his body, then lay down on his bed. He summoned a court attendant to massage him, and he fell asleep. Now, let's talk about Huan E. He and You Hun Gong were teacher and student for several years. You Hun Gong never hit him, never cursed him, and never even dared to breathe too harshly. He called him "teacher," but in reality, he was nothing more than a cunning old man. Huan E was very grateful to him afterward. Although they couldn't be close often, they still visited each other occasionally, and thus he met You Xia Liu several times. When You Hungong died, Huan'e went to his house to pay respects. There she saw a flirtatious young man, quite charming. Upon inquiring, her family knew him and said his name was Yang Weiying, a friend of the "Mao" gang. Huan'e was very tempted and wanted to invite him over for drinks and fun. However, she feared that if her mother found out, it would bring trouble upon this "number one" gang member. How could she explain this? Although she often thought about it, she was too busy with household chores and put it aside. Previously, she had been tempted by money and had been impulsive. Although she had fought several times with Hou Shi at her home and gained a beautiful maid, she should have been content. [The ancients said, "Contentment prevents disgrace, shame prevents danger," but who can truly practice this? And how much less Huan'e?] There are two proverbs: Wildflowers are especially beautiful, village wine intoxicates many

. And another saying

goes, a wife is not as good as a concubine, a concubine is not as good as a maid, a maid is not as good as a prostitute, a prostitute is not as good as a stolen affair, and a stolen affair is not as good as one that cannot be stolen. Although he had a wife and a maid, he always kept the thought of money in mind. [The author of these words is pointing out a wish from a past life.] Because he was ill, he wanted to find someone to have some fun with, but none of the prostitutes were suitable. Suddenly, he thought of Yang Weiying, saying: "This big-eared cat is quite charming. Besides, I have never tasted the flavor of this large intestine, why not break my vow?" But there was nowhere to have fun. Then he thought: "Why don't I go to Brother You's house after leaving the east road? That official is familiar with him, and he can come at a moment's notice." I was so happy, I figured he wouldn't be able to refuse. I sent someone to invite You Xialiu, and Huan'e told him my previous idea. How could he say that my wife was powerful and dared not obey? First, he couldn't say it out loud; second, he was eager to flatter such a wealthy and powerful man. If we became close, where wouldn't he need my help in times of trouble? So he readily agreed. Huan E was overjoyed and had his servant weigh out four taels of silver to give to him, arranging to visit his home the next day.

You Xialiu then went out and found Yang Weiying, telling him that the young master Huan had admired him. As a minor official, seeing such a noble young man coming to admire him, he feared even his lowly position might be defiled, so naturally he would obey without question. He was beaming with pride. When You Xialiu arrived home, he lied to Duo Yin, saying, “There’s a young master Huan, who was my father’s student. He came to pay his respects before. When I married you, he also gave me some money as a congratulatory gift. We haven’t seen each other for a long time. Tomorrow, he and a man surnamed Yang, also the son of a wealthy man, want to come to my house. Being considerate, he gave me four taels of silver to prepare some food and wine, fearing I wouldn’t have enough. I don’t know if you’d agree, but I didn’t dare agree, so I came to ask for your instructions.” He then showed him the silver. Upon hearing this, Bu Shi, seeing the plump man with the fat mouth, also wanted to see what the young master and the wealthy man looked like. But he said, "People are so kind, offering money right to our door, how could we refuse?" You Xialiu was overjoyed, as if he had received a royal decree.

The next morning, he returned with many things. Knowing that the Huan family had many followers, he carried two large jars of fine wine. He first selected some and distributed some to Madam Bu. Around noon, Yang Weiying arrived first, followed by Huan E. The three sat down, and soon You Xialiu brought out the dishes. His house was cramped, so he couldn't have a cook prepare a feast; he only bought some ready-made food and prepared it himself. It was nothing more than roast goose, pressed duck, smoked pork hock, cooked chicken, and various fruits, piled up on the table. Then wine was served, and they began to eat.

The woman, slightly tipsy and aroused from a long-absent state, kept peeking out the window. She saw the young master, a fat, imposing man in fine clothes, attended by seven or eight servants. The other young man, though dressed less well, was handsome and charming. She was attracted to both; one for his robust physique, the other for his refined features. After a moment's thought, she decided she couldn't have both, and would only choose the one with the impressive virility. Having made up her mind, she rushed to her room and thickly applied powder to her pockmarked face. The lead powder contrasted sharply against her dark skin, making her face appear bluish-green. She rubbed her large mouth with rouge until it resembled the bloody genitals of a woman during menstruation, dipped it in a sticky solution of elephant trunk grass, and brushed her golden hair until it shone. She then picked several large hollyhocks from the backyard and wore them on her head, looking every bit the monster. Together with the young man from the Long family whom Wu He had disguised himself as that day, they would make a bizarre couple. He walked to the mirror, looked at himself, and turned his head a couple of times, pleased with himself. He said, "Even a true immortal would break his vow if he saw me dressed like this today. [Even a true immortal might not break his vow of celibacy, but would probably mistake me for a ghost and slay me with his magic sword, thus breaking his vow of killing.] Even an Arhat would have to return to secular life if he saw me like this, let alone a mere mortal." He then changed into a bright red robe with white plum blossoms and gold trim, and tied a light green silk skirt embroidered with lotus branches below. He wore large, high-heeled red shoes and kept pacing back and forth by the window. His house was a two-room house, with the front room divided into two sections by a passageway. The front half, facing the street, served as a guest area, while the back half served as a recessed seating area with a north-facing window. Because it was directly opposite the bedroom, the window was not open. At this moment, they were drinking in this recessed seating area. The family members sat and rested in the front, warming the wine. Behind a courtyard was another room, also divided into two sections by a passageway. Half of the house served as a bedroom, and the other half as a kitchen. [The details of their house are only described here. Comparing it to the scene where You Hun Gong was playing with his son, there's not a single detail missing. The front half, facing the street, was where You Hun Gong played with his son. After they finished drinking, Yang Weiying would hide there. The back bedroom was where You Hun Gong slept; this is only now being clarified.] It also had a north-facing window. Behind it was a small courtyard. When they needed to relieve themselves, they couldn't go to the street, so they went to the back courtyard.

First, Yang Weiying went to the back to relieve himself, and Bu Shi hurriedly peeked through the north-facing window of the kitchen. Seeing that his manhood was only slightly larger than You Xia Liu's, she paid no attention. She was only focused on Huan E. A short while later, seeing Huan E go to the back, she hurriedly peeked through the window. Because she had played with that young official for a while, she was somewhat pleased, and her manhood was swollen and hard, even more impressive than those two drum-like penises. She couldn't help but shudder, a tingling sensation rising from the top of her head to the soles of her feet. Her vulva opened and closed, gushing out streams of lustful fluid. Needless to say, her trousers were soaked, as were her newly worn floral knee-length trousers and large red shoes; the water trickled down her legs, soaking everything. It took her a long time to move, her burning lust overwhelming her. She drank several cups of cold wine, constantly urinating. By now,

they both had wine, and she saw the young master Huan holding the man surnamed Yang, sitting in his lap, chatting and laughing, offering him sips of wine. She understood what was going on. Because she had her eye on the young master Huan's enormous member, she barely suppressed her anger. Just then, she saw Huan E get up, knowing he needed to urinate again. Her lust burning fiercely, she couldn't care less and slipped into the kitchen. Huan E had just finished urinating, having pulled down her trousers. Suddenly, someone ran up, grabbed her penis, wrapped their arms around her neck, and kissed her on the lips. Huan E was startled, looked up, and saw this monster. A deathly pale face was clearly visible in the shadows, whether human or ghost,

it was hard to tell. Terrified, the person broke free and ran out, clutching their pants. There's a poem, "The Nightingale," that describes this: "Looking pretty and charming, full of joy and laughter. But then, he tries this large and coarse thing, and is stunned. Love fades, leaving one with nothing but empty affection. How shameful! A surge of anger rises, and four horses gallop forth."

The woman, Bu, whose arousal had been extinguished by this, couldn't help but feel enraged. She ran to the window, pounded on the windowsill, and shouted, "How dare you, you damned bastard! You tricked me into inviting some rich young masters, but you've brought a few rascals to play here! My house is a clean and respectable place, not a den of scoundrels! Get your grease and dust and leave! If you're too late, I'll bring a horse brush and beat you bastards to a pulp, you stinking bastard, you'll never be able to die!" The woman, You Xialiu, was so frightened that she collapsed to the ground, writhing in fear. Could Huan'e tolerate being insulted? However, being a woman, she couldn't resort to violence. She stood up, overturned the table, smashing the bowls and utensils to pieces, and stormed off, mounting her horse and returning home. Seeing the fierce scene, Yang Weiying was terrified, letting out a series of loud farts [not necessarily, a minor official's farts are usually loose, how could they be loud?] like a rabbit seeing a hawk, tail wagging [this is even less likely, his tail usually swirls around, how could it stay behind him?] and ran away as fast as the wind. Just as he stepped out, Bu Shi chased him to the door with a ladle of water, splashing him all over, cursing, "Send these plague demons away!" She slammed the door shut [the description of Bu Shi chasing Yang Weiying and splashing water is specifically for the sake of the phrase "slammed the door shut." Otherwise, with such anger, how could Bu Shi have the leisure to come out and shut the door? You Xialiu was about to suffer punishment; how could she possibly have time to come out and shut the door? If it weren't mentioned, wouldn't it be a blunder?] The author subtly suggests that Madam Bu chased after him without leaving a trace, a skillful craftsman's work that the reader should appreciate. [She strode in menacingly, seeing You Xia Liu still crawling on the ground, unable to get up. Madam Bu stepped forward, grabbed his ear, and dragged him into the house like a sheep, ordering him to kneel. Madam Bu was also quite drunk at this point, and after much deliberation, she felt a surge of anger and frustration. She made him strip naked, and then stripped herself completely naked as well. She broke off two pieces of reeds, clamped them between his penis, and tied the ends tightly with her knee-length belt. You Xia Liu cried out in agony, tears streaming down his face, kneeling and begging. Madam Bu cursed, "You bastard! You gave birth to such a useless thing, unable to do any housework, yet you play with rabbits. You try to fool me with your fancy titles of young master and wealthy man, but you've had your fun. Now you'll suffer."

After clamping it for a long time, You Xia Liu could only kowtow in agony, wailing and screaming.] After dealing with him, his anger subsided slightly, but his rage remained. He released him and told him to come to bed and lick. You Xialiu dared not disobey. His hands rubbed his penis, his face contorted in misery, tears welling in his eyes, and he had no choice but to climb on top and lick. He licked for a long time, but to no avail. He hadn't seen this thing in a long time, and he had managed to endure it. But today, not only had he seen it, but it was an enormous, unprecedented object. How could he bear it? His heart burned with rage. You Xialiu licked, sighing deeply. After licking for a while, he grew resentful again, saying, "Other people's things are at least presentable, how come you, you bastard, gave birth to such a monstrous thing?" Filled with anger and resentment, he sat up, intending to inflict more torture. Suddenly, he noticed that You Xialiu's penis was swollen and much thicker. He was delighted and told him to do it. You Xialiu was in excruciating pain but dared not disobey. Enduring the pain, he gritted his teeth and forced it in. Because of the swelling and pain, he was numb and unable to ejaculate easily. The burning heat from being squeezed, while not satisfying his lust, made him feel that it was thicker and longer than usual. After a while, Bu Shi, having drunk too much and experiencing some pleasure, fell asleep.

You Xia Liu, unable to bear the pain any longer, quietly pulled out. Looking under the lamp, he saw that his penis was torn and stung by the semen, causing the unbearable pain. He couldn't sleep all night, and when he woke up at dawn, he saw that it was swollen like a fish bladder. He hurriedly pulled up his pants, fearing that Bu Shi would see and call him to go for more pleasure—how could he bear it? He rushed to the front room, where the chicken, goose, and duck meat on the floor had been completely devoured by their big black dog. [The dog lies down here.] He cleaned up yesterday's broken parts, cooked rice, and gave the leftovers to Bu Shi to eat when he woke up. He took them to the kitchen, ate some himself, and went to the street to find a surgeon to treat him. This kind of doctor doesn't know how to write their sign.

Last night, Huan'e was having a good time when Bu scolded him, and he returned home in a rage. When he arrived at the main room, Hou was still awake. Seeing his angry face, she asked, "Whose house did you go to today? Why are you so angry?" Unable to answer, he lied, saying, "Brother You invited me to drink today, and his ignorant wife started yelling at me from inside. I got angry and overturned the table. I came straight home, so I'm still angry." Hou said, "I think this must be because this man is usually lazy and wicked around her, and has offended her. If he were attentive and careful, wouldn't his wife give him some face?" Huan'e knew Hou was trying to provoke him, so he had no reply. The two undressed and went to bed. As Huan'e slept, he thought: That Yang boy is quite interesting, all flirtatious and provocative, so easy to get aroused. I touched his buttocks; the skin was soft and tender, and his anus was still adorably tight. If it weren't for this shrew's outburst, wouldn't I be admiring his beautiful buttocks right now? Then I regretted it: It was my fault. He came and grabbed my manhood, simply because he was attracted to my beauty. Who cares if he's ugly or handsome? Why not have some fun with him? Wouldn't that be killing two birds with one stone? I was too serious, and I embarrassed him; no wonder he cursed me. Then I thought: It's not my fault either; you could have just come out and explained yourself. He rushed over and grabbed me, startling me, so naturally I didn't bother to run away. I think he must be an extremely lewd woman; having some fun with him would be quite a different kind of pleasure. What a pity I missed this opportunity. [This is not a description of Huan E, but it is likely true. However, it describes someone who, before repenting, regrets not being lewd. It would be strange if, after repenting, he encountered the beauty of Qu Shi and the wine-selling wife, and could remain unmoved.] Thinking of this, he felt a surge of lust, his penis hardening. He reached out to touch Hou, who was lying on her back asleep. His hand touched her vulva, and he thought, "Why not eat the food right in front of you? What are you thinking about? Why not use this acupoint as both a woman's front door and a boy's back door, and give it a good rub? That will surely arouse you." So he climbed on top of her and thrust inside. Hou was half asleep when he woke up and said, "I just fell asleep, and you woke me up again." Huan'e laughed and said, "If you want to sleep, I'll get off." He tried to pull out. Hou quickly grabbed his buttocks with both hands and said, "I'm awake, what are you going to do?" Huan'e put his legs on his shoulders, thinking of the two men, and became exceptionally excited and vigorous. He fought fiercely, leaving Hou weak in the knees and limp on the pillow. Huan'e continued to thrust for a while before ejaculating. Hou Shi finally woke up after a while, and asked with a smile, "You damned thing, you have such good skills, why don't you use them all the time? Why are you so happy today? Tell me." Huan E had no choice but to laugh and say, "I just remembered something. When I first married you, I was still a guest of honor in your family, and your father gave me a lecture. I'm still angry about it. Just now, I was a little touched, so I took it out on you." Hou Shi believed her and said, "Oh, so that's what it was about."

After sleeping for about the time it takes to drink a cup of tea, she felt quite relaxed and happy. She said to Huan E, "I also remember something. Didn't my mother offend you that time? Why didn't you get angry with her?" Huan E knew that she wanted to tease her again, and she still had some fun herself, so she laughed and got up again, saying, "Yes, I almost forgot. No choice, I took it out on you too." They teased each other again. After two rounds, Huan E was also a little tired and wanted to sleep. Just as he was about to fall asleep, Hou, still not satisfied, nudged him again, saying, "I just remembered something. That year in the capital, my elder brother offended you. I still think about it often and I'm still angry for you. Aren't you angry?" Huan'e, already aroused, was a little afraid to move and declined, saying, "I don't remember." Hou said, "Oh dear, you can't even remember something from years ago? Why is that?" Huan'e didn't respond. Seeing that Huan'e wouldn't move, she said, "Can't a real man just let things go after being insulted? A man without spirit is worthless. If a man has no temper at all, is he even human?" She kept muttering and grumbling. Huan'e couldn't fall asleep because of her nagging. Knowing that she still wanted to play, he said, "No need to say more, I was just taking it out on you." He struggled a little and played for a while, but then he really couldn't move anymore. Just as he was about to sleep, Hou pushed him again, saying, "My sister-in-law has offended you, are you just going to let it go?" Huan'e chuckled inwardly, but said aloud, "Oh dear, I'm already out of breath. Besides, your sister-in-law is just a woman, I won't stoop to her level. Let me sleep a little longer." Knowing he wouldn't move, Hou finally went to sleep. Jiaohua,

listening from behind the bed to their vigorous activity, was burning with anger, her throat itching, and she couldn't help but cough. Huan'e knew she wanted a share of the spoils, and laughed, "I can't even vent my anger on your great-aunt, let alone your cough? I advise you to sleep peacefully, even if you cough until your throat is sore, it won't help." He laughed for a while and then fell asleep.

Meanwhile, You Xia went to a surgical shop and bought some pain-relieving and swelling-reducing herbal medicine, which he applied to his penis. On his way back, he passed by the door of his cousin Gan Shou. He thought to himself, "Ever since I married that Rakshasa, I've been a servant at home all day long, never daring to leave her side. I haven't come to see my brother and sister-in-law in a long time. Since I'm passing by today, why not go in and take a look?" He walked straight into the courtyard and saw Gan Shou with a white beard, tears welling up in his eyes. He had a large blue stone on his head and was kneeling upright, his hands gripping the wall. You Xialiu came in and asked in a low voice, "I suppose you've offended your sister-in-law again, brother?" Gan Shou sighed and said, "I wouldn't dare offend him even if I were struck by lightning. He's just looking for trouble, humiliating me like this for no reason." You Xialiu said, "I'll go see your sister-in-law and plead for your brother." Gan Shou said anxiously, "Don't make trouble for me. Once he calms down a bit, he'll naturally forgive me." Xiong Shi, who was inside the room, heard the conversation and called to her youngest daughter, "Sister, look who that old servant is talking to? Is he muttering curses at me?" The daughter came out and said, "It's Uncle You, talking to Father." Xiong Shi said happily, "I was just about to invite him over. Good thing, please come in quickly." Hearing this, You Xialiu hurriedly went into the room. He bowed and sat down, saying, "How have you been these days, sister-in-law? I was so kind to you when you came back from my house last time." Xiong Shi replied, "You're right. We're family, why bother with all that? I was already full and drunk, what more could I want? That day, didn't I drink twenty or thirty catties of wine? Your aunt's capacity for alcohol is about the same as mine." You Xialiu asked, "How did my brother offend you again, making you angry?" Xiong Shi said, "That old servant of yours, he's got a lot of guts, I get so angry just thinking about him, I want to chew him up. The other day I met your aunt, and she said you do all the tea, cooking, making the bed, sweeping, even emptying the chamber pot, you're so careful and diligent, and that you still beat and scold him. I said a few words to her, 'Don't bring bad luck to yourself, a husband who's so attentive but cowardly...'" "Such a status is bad enough, what more could you want?" You Xialiu, with a belly full of bitterness and nowhere to tell, interjected, "I suffered a great injustice yesterday, which I can't tell you, sister-in-law. You are an older sister-in-law, like my mother, so it's alright to tell you. Last night, for no reason, they made a small clamp out of reeds and almost cut my lower body in two; the skin was swollen and collapsed. I only managed to sneak out to find a doctor and get some medicine. I was passing by the door, so I came in to see you, brother and sister-in-law. Sister-in-law, do you think there is such an unjust punishment in the world?" Xiong Shi said, "Oh dear, even if it's a terrible offense, a few lashes elsewhere would suffice. It's amazing that he was so cruel, [not blaming the act but blaming the clamp, not caring about the body but caring about this thing, how wonderful.] How could he bear to do that? Doesn't it hurt to see it? You tell me today..." Why are you angry? I'm an old woman, I'm not afraid of you. I had a hemorrhoid near my anus, and it suddenly flared up these past few days, it's so painful and itchy, I can't stand it. I called a doctor the other day, and he said it was because I drank too much and slept too much. What nonsense! Look at your brother, what kind of lewd behavior is that? If it really was this kind of illness, I wouldn't complain about the pain, how could it be? As for drinking, I might drink a little, but not much. I sip a few pounds of strong liquor every day, how can that be considered excessive? That's why I refused to take his medicine. This morning the itching was unbearable, I had no choice but to ask that old servant to lick me, that would surely help. But he's so bold, he thinks I'm dirty and refuses to lick me. I got angry, so I made him kneel down. "He's wearing it." You Xialiu couldn't help but laugh, barely suppressing it, and pretended to say, "I'm saying this for something else. If you say it like this, sister-in-law, you've misunderstood brother. Would my brother dare to think sister-in-law is dirty? Hemorrhoids are dirty toxins, all a ball of fire. A person's tongue also has fire; licking it may feel good for a while, but afterwards it hurts even more. This is brother loving sister-in-law, how can you be angry with him?" Xiong Shi said, "I don't believe it. Everyone says that someone will flatter the big official and lick his boils and hemorrhoids for him, how can he live like that?" You Xialiu said, "How could I dare to deceive sister-in-law? How can things compare? That's an outsider; flattering him might feel good for a while, but afterwards, who cares about the pain? In front of sister-in-law, how could brother bear to do that?" Xiong Shi thought for a moment and said, "If we go by your explanation, we can forgive that old servant. Get up."

You Xialiu hurriedly went out, removed the stone for him, and helped him up. Gan Shou rubbed his back and knees, then limped in. Xiong Shi glared at him and said, "If it weren't for Uncle You defending you, I would have made you kneel until tomorrow morning. I'll let you off this time, but if you dare to be bold again next time." She gritted her teeth and said, "Watch your dog's life." She added, "Your beard is all white, and you're not even as good as a young man like me. Aren't you ashamed? It's one thing if you can't even match others, but you can't even match your own cousin. You might as well just take a piss and die; you're still alive. Look how carefully he treats his aunt, how he shows filial piety. You should ask him to teach you. Why don't you go prepare some food and wine to come and learn from him?" Gan Shou was extremely grateful to You Xialiu for saving him. Although he wanted to ask him for help, he didn't dare to make the decision. Upon hearing Xiong's instructions, he hurried to the street, went to a large restaurant, and ordered four bowls of fine dishes and some fruit, along with a small jar of excellent Jinhua wine. He set out the dishes, poured the wine, and served it to Xiong, asking You Xialiu to sit. You Xialiu said, "Brother, how can I sit if you're standing?" Xiong said, "He should stand to serve you; you just sit." You Xialiu said, "Brother, you can stand in front of your sister-in-law. I'm your brother; how can I do that? I don't have that kind of courtesy." Xiong said to Gan Shou, "For your uncle's sake, I'll grant you a seat." She picked up a stool, sat down sideways, and let You Xialiu sit opposite Xiong. Madam Xiong offered You Xialiu several cups of wine, but You Xialiu said, "My alcohol tolerance is limited. If I get drunk too soon, I'm afraid your aunt will be angry when we get back. Please, sister-in-law, have a few more cups." Madam Xiong looked at Gan Shou and said, "Listen carefully. Your aunt's family rules are so strict, and you treat your uncle with such respect. You're not a bad person."

As she spoke, she drank a lot of wine, finally getting to the bottom of her feelings. She said to Gan Shou, "Did you hear what your uncle said? This strong young man, yesterday your aunt got angry and even squeezed his genitals until they were mangled. As for you, this useless old servant, you should be crushed to pieces with iron clamps and fed to the dogs. I've been so lenient with you because you're old, and you don't even know how to be grateful!" After eating for a while, You Xialiu got up to take his leave. Madam Xiong said, "We're not strangers, sit a while longer, what are you so busy with?" You Xialiu said, "It's almost noon outside, I'm afraid your aunt needs lunch, I'm going home to serve her." Madam Xiong said, "Old servant, look at your uncle, he's still thinking about his aunt even when he's out there. You're lazy at home, relying on your older sister for everything. Even if he gets married tomorrow, you won't do anything, unless you're dead." She said to You Xialiu, "If it's something else, I won't let you go. But serving your aunt's meal is the most important thing you should do. Don't just sit there, come and visit often when you're free, teach this old servant a lesson." You Xialiu said, "I know," and went out. Gan Shou saw him off at the gate. You Xialiu said, "Brother, you're getting on in years. Go along with your wife's wishes and don't make things difficult for yourself." Gan Shou frowned and said, "Never mind that, how do you lick those hemorrhoids? Why are you blaming me?" You Xialiu sighed and said, "It's not something I can tell you, brother. I don't lick them, yet you still beat and scold me. It's not fair. It's only disgusting the first couple of times, but you get used to it. Brother, as the ancients said, 'When you're under someone's eaves, how can you not bow your head?' I can't say anything about licking them." With that, he turned and went back.

Seeing him leave, Gan Shou wanted to go inside, but fearing Xiong Shi would find fault and beat him again, he went to hide on the street for a while. He walked to the main street and saw a few horn sticks for sale in a general store. He was touched and thought, "If I buy one and give it to Grandma, maybe she'll forgive me." He still had a few coins left over from buying wine and food, so he bought one, hid it in his sleeve, and happily returned home. Upon entering the room, Madam Xiong scolded, "You saw Uncle You out and then hid and refused to come in. I thought you were never coming back, yet you still come to see me. This old servant, everything he does makes me angry." After she finished scolding, Gan Shou took out the small toy from his sleeve, held it in both hands, and said, "I saw this by chance on the street and bought it to present to you, Madam." Madam Xiong took it, looked at it, and said with delight, "This thing is quite interesting." Just then, her daughter snatched it away, saying, "Mother, let me play with this toy." Gan Shou quickly took it back, saying, "My dear sister, this is my savior. If you break it, you'll kill me." Madam Xiong wanted to ask Gan Shou how to use it, but seeing her daughter in the way, she quickly gave him more than ten coins, saying, "Go wait at the door, look for some for sale, buy one to play with." The older sister took the money and went out.

Madam Xiong asked with a smile, "This thing is good, but how do you use it?" Gan Shou replied, "Grandma can use it herself, or you can tie it to me and use it. Grandma, please come to the bed, and I'll show you." Madam Xiong hurriedly got into bed. Gan Shou, afraid his daughter would come, hung the door shut and went up as well. He untied the two stockings, tied them to the corner to help Madam Xiong get an erection, took off her pants, and had her lie on her back. He then tied the stockings to her heels, bent her legs, and inserted them into her vagina, holding her toes as he moved them in and out. Madam Xiong laughed, "It's good, but it's very strenuous for me." Gan Shou said, "Grandma, if you're worried about the effort, let me do it." He untied the stockings, tied them around his own waist, and they began to pound together. Madam Xiong hadn't done this in a long time, and now that she suddenly had this, she wasn't willing to stop. The two of them did it for half a day. They only stopped when her older sister came to knock on the door. Because of this, Madam Xiong treated Gan Shou very differently afterward, and she doted on him immensely. Gan Shou secretly prayed and bought three or four more to give to her for future use. He even placed one in the ancestral shrine, burning incense and kowtowing on the first and fifteenth of each month. He thanked him for his help, sparing him countless beatings and scoldings.

Meanwhile, You Xialiu bid farewell to Gan Shou, secretly laughing to himself on the way: "Even being afraid of one's wife can lead to such a lavish meal; it's clear one shouldn't be afraid." That day, after eating, Bu Shi sat alone in her room. She thought back to yesterday's events, thinking: "Many who want to steal a woman probably can't even get one, yet I went to him with good intentions, thinking it was a sure thing. [Many men steal women, but none steal monsters; how can I blame others?] I'll get to taste his wonderful thing. Who knew this big man was such a fool, completely clueless. The ancients said, 'A big man who isn't stupid is a treasure,' and they were absolutely right. It's such a pity to miss out on such a good thing."

Thinking this, her desire was rekindled. She drank several bowls of the leftover cold wine from yesterday. She went to the window facing the street, looking out to relieve her boredom. Suddenly, he saw two dogs chained together. His big black dog was jumping around anxiously, its mouth agape and tongue lolling out as it panted. He grabbed the female dog's head, sticking out a bright red clitoris to throb. He couldn't help but feel his own vagina dripping wetly. He thought, "A dog's thing is this big too. Although it doesn't resemble a human's, it's big enough to do anything." So he opened the door and called the dog. When the dog saw his mistress calling him, it jumped down and came in. Seeing that the clitoris hadn't been retracted, Bu squeezed it with her hand and said, "It's much bigger than my bastard's. I'll try it with him and see how he compares to a human." So she closed the door, called the dog, and hurriedly went into the house. She took off her pants, lay down on a stool, put her buttocks over the edge of the stool, and spread her legs. The dog, being intelligent, became anxious upon seeing this. It sniffed the vulva, licked it a few times, then jumped on top of her, its front paws gripping her waist, its penis thrusting wildly towards her entrance. Bu quickly reached out to grasp it, guiding it into her vagina. The beast, knowing to climb higher, thrust in several times, pushing its large member inside. Dogs are fiery in nature, their genitals extremely hot. While the genitals of humans and animals are merely muscles, a dog's kidney contains a bone, making it remarkably hard and enduring, causing Bu unbearable pleasure. Since arriving at the You family's house, she hadn't tasted this delicacy in a long time. Now, suddenly enjoying this rare treat, she felt it was far superior to the two lecherous men and beggars of the past; it was the first time in her life she had experienced such pleasure. After a long while, the dog finally ejaculated and jumped off. Bu felt much more relaxed. Having found this pleasure, she insisted that You Xialiu buy four catties of beef, cook it, and feed it to her twice a day. [I've never heard of a husband buying meat to support his lover before; this is probably unique to her.] But at mealtimes, she would first serve a bowl of meat and broth to the dog. [Bu Shi's devotion to the dog was a model of marital harmony, but her actions were somewhat lacking.] After meals, when there was nothing else to do, she would send You Xialiu out so she could have a good time with the dog.

You Xialiu only said that his wife disliked him, hence the exile, and that he was forced to hide outside. He would talk loudly and boastfully to everyone he met, gossiping and criticizing others. [Such people who love to criticize others deserve such wives.] Little did they know that she was actually indulging in such frivolous pleasures at home. At first, Bu Shi would enjoy herself with the dog during the day and even have You Xialiu lick her at night. After experiencing this with the dog, she later realized that You Xialiu's tongue was not even one percent as good as the dog's kidneys, and that licking them brought her no pleasure whatsoever. That evening, he sent You Xialiu to sleep in the front guest room, and then called the dog to the bed to sleep with him. While making love with the dog, he was scratched painfully by its claws, so he devised a clever plan: he made four cloth covers to restrain the dog's four paws. [As the proverb goes: "Ugly people are always doing strange things, like a black steamed bun and a bag of vegetables." This refers to Bu Shi. He may be ugly, but his ideas are quite unusual.] He straddled the pillow, his black hindquarters raised high, and the dog, like a female dog jumping, climbed onto his back and began to pound. The male dog, like a female dog, was unable to perform its act because his kidneys were locked. Bu Shi couldn't restrain it, letting it thrash about as it pleased, each time not stopping until the early hours of the morning. He was truly delighted, secretly regretting not having thought of mates with this dog sooner, now only having that useless, bastard's tongue.

When You Xialiu saw that Madam Bu hadn't used his dog for a while, he assumed she had shown him great mercy and forgiven him, secretly rejoicing. Little did he know the implications. [Gan Shou enshrined a horn-shaped figurine on the ancestral shrine; You Xialiu should also paint this dog and place it beside the ancestors.] After a few times, the dog got used to it, jumping onto the bed to wait at night, and sometimes even sleeping on the bed during the day. When You Xialiu saw this and wanted to chase it away, Madam Bu said, "A useful guard dog is dozens of times better than a useless bastard like you. Let it sleep; why do you want to chase it away?" [It is said that cuckoos steal magpie nests, but it is unexpected that a lowly person's bed would be occupied by a dog.] If You Xialiu accidentally kicked or hit the dog, Madam Bu would scold him for three days and two nights without stopping. If the dog got excited and started climbing and jumping on Madam Bu, she would chase You Xialiu away, take off her pants, and either lie on the stool or crawl on the edge of the bed, letting him do as he pleased. He doted on that dog even more than You Xialiu.

About half a year later, this woman, Bu, became pregnant, her belly swollen like a willow branch. You Xialiu was secretly delighted, thinking that even a scoundrel like him could father a child. If a child was born, not only would he have something to boast about, but his wife might also treat him better for the sake of the child. Suddenly one day, Bu's belly started to ache, and she was about to give birth. You Xialiu hurriedly went to fetch his mother-in-law to help with the delivery. When they arrived at her house, Bu wasn't home. He and his brother-in-law, Bu Zhishi, quickly went to find her at the home of her godbrother-in-law, Yang Da. They finally found her.

Yang Da's wife was Bu's goddaughter. Bu's face was flushed from eating. You Xialiu explained that his daughter was about to give birth and he had come to fetch her. Bu had no choice but to come. What did Bu do at Yang Da's house? When did they become related? Yang Da was a sedan chair carrier, over thirty years old, a sturdy and strong man. His name was Yang Da, and his penis was indeed quite large. He was a poor man who had struggled for half his life to finally marry a woman who was only seventeen years old, though petite. On their wedding night, having finally found a wife at such an advanced age, he pounced on her like a hungry tiger, disregarding her life or death, and broke her hip bone, nearly killing her. It took half a year to recover, but the hip bone could not close properly, and she still walked with a limp. After that, every time he had sex with her, the woman would cry and wail, unable to bear it, and Yang Da could never be satisfied. A year or so later, the woman became pregnant, six or seven months along. One day, Yang Da, drunk, used the strength of someone carrying a sedan chair to injure the fetus, which died in the womb. He asked Shui Shi to come and expel the fetus. It took them half a day and a half to finally remove it. Shui Shi couldn't go home late at night, and because she was exhausted, she drank a few more cups of wine and went to sleep at Yang Da's house.

Yang Da was also half asleep, thinking: This old woman is only in her forties, and so plump, she must be my match. He was just a woman who frequented many homes; she might not be chaste. Let's just have some fun with her. If anything went wrong, she'd only get a beating from the authorities. She dreamt in the middle of the night of being a rich man, so she decided to enjoy herself while she could. She called out "Grandma" a few times, but received no answer. She pushed him a couple more times, but he didn't move. Emboldened, she openly and gently pulled down his trousers, secretly climbed on top of him, and began to have sex with him. Shui Shi awoke with a start, only to find her lower mouth stuffed and blocked, unable to utter a sound even with her upper mouth. Seeing her genuine submission, Yang Da encouraged her and went at it with great force. Before long, Shui Shi's upper mouth was groaning loudly, and her lower mouth was surprisingly clear. They worked on it until midnight, both of them reaching a state of blissful satisfaction before stopping.

Shui Shi was so captivated by him that she didn't return to his house for more than three days. Whenever she earned money outside, she would go to his house to buy drinks, and when they were in high spirits, they would drink together. Yang Da's wife, far from being jealous, was actually grateful to Shui Shi, repeatedly urging her to visit more often so he could escape this ordeal of being forced into prostitution. She thought, "If all women in the world were like this, then the licentiousness would cease." She even recognized Shui Shi as her godmother. Shui Shi, doting on her goddaughter and consequently her godson-in-law, often came to take her daughter's place. One day, while they were having a drink at her house, Bu Zhishi, knowing his mother often stayed at his godbrother-in-law's house, went with You Xialiu to find her. After three cups of wine, Shui Shi waited for her godson-in-law to bring his penis as a tribute. Unexpectedly, her son-in-law said his daughter was about to give birth, so she had to go.

Upon arriving at her son-in-law's house, her daughter experienced a couple of contractions and was about to give birth. When Shui Shi rushed to receive the baby, the first thing she saw was a small puppy. Shui Shi was shocked. You Xialiu, who was holding Bu Shi's waist, was also startled. "I've raised a good son, but I can't say anything about it," Bu Shi thought to herself, understanding the situation perfectly well, but not bothered at all. Then four or five more were born, some with dog heads and human bodies, some with hair, some without, some born dead, and some crying. You Xialiu suspected that some malevolent spirit had caused such a monster, and had no doubt that it was the offspring of a dog. [The ones born to Duoyin are truly the offspring of dogs.] Fearing that people would find out, he hurriedly took them away and buried them. Her mother knew that her daughter was promiscuous and had guessed a bit, but she couldn't say it. She secretly regretted that she had wasted so much money on cradles, clothes, bedding and the like for such a dog grandson, and would have been better off saving it to buy wine and meat to feed her son-in-law, Yang. [Dog grandson, sheep son-in-law, that's a perfect match.] Shui Shi hurriedly finished tidying up her daughter and went to Yang's house to tidy up as well. Her son-in-law was happy with her for a while, and only after fulfilling his wish did he return home.

Meanwhile, Bu Zhishi heard that his sister had given birth to several puppies, so he came to see her. Sitting down, she asked with a smile, "I heard you've raised a few dog nephews, is that true? I came to see, but I can't find a single one." Madam Bu said, "Don't talk nonsense. Who told you that?" Bu Zhishi laughed, "I heard it from you, Mother. I've never heard of anyone raising dogs, so I came to see what they're like." Duoyin didn't know how to answer him, so she stammered, "What has Mother been doing at home these days?" He said, "Mother is often away from home; seven or eight out of ten days she's at Brother-in-law Yang's house." Duoyin asked, "Where is this Brother-in-law Yang?" Bu Zhishi said, "Mother has recently taken in this fucking son-in-law." Duoyin said, "You're talking nonsense again." He said, "How am I talking nonsense? I saw it with my own eyes. I saw him often staying at Brother-in-law Yang's house." At night, he would often go to his house, staying for half a day at a time, always returning with a flushed face. I was a little suspicious, so one day I went to check. His door was ajar, but I pushed it open and went inside. The house door was closed in the yard. I heard my mother moaning. I peeked through the window in the outer room and saw my older sister sleeping on a bench. I peeked into the other room and saw my brother-in-law and mother naked, doing it on the bed. I watched for a while, and then I saw my mother lying on her back, sleeping. At first I could hear her moaning, but then she stopped moving and there was no sound from her mouth. I thought, "This is really fucking hot," and was about to go in and call him. Remembering how I used to do it with him and my father, I smiled and got a beating. If I called him, what would happen? Or perhaps he wasn't dead, and I was still getting beaten and scolded. I thought even if he was fucked to death, it was his own fault for being a monk carrying two bushels of rice, what did it have to do with me? So I went home, but I didn't expect him to be alive, and he came back the next day. I thought women's things like this, like when you were at home, you were having fun with those two beggars and those two vibrators, I ask you, do you find it interesting to have your things done with men?" Duo Yin laughed: "Where did you get all this nonsense from, just spouting off nonsense." He said: "I am spouting nonsense, I've seen it countless times. I don't care about other people's business, besides, my Tang Fan's clitoris is quite big and nice, like a thick leather strip, soft and won't get hard, so I can't do anything with it, if my clitoris could get hard, your cunt would be..." "I don't know how to fuck, but I'd let a stranger fuck me." Seeing him rambling on, Duoyin said, "Go home, or your mother will be looking for you." He said, "When I came, my mother went to Brother-in-law Yang's house. She wouldn't come back, and spent half the day fucking me." Then she laughed and said, "I have something to tell you, but I can't remember it. Just now, I remembered. After you got married, those four people often came to the door begging for food, shaking a drum. I ignored them at first. But one day, I grabbed them and scared them, saying, 'You guys fucked my sister to death! I'm going to sue you in court. You still dare to come? All the neighbors, come and help me catch them!' They were so scared that they broke free and ran away, and they never dared to come again." After saying this, he laughed heartily. Seeing that he was just rambling on and on, Duo Yin was afraid that You Xialiu would hear her when he returned, so she counted out twenty coins and handed them to him, saying, "If you want to buy some sesame cakes, go buy them yourself since your brother-in-law isn't home. Go quickly, I want to take a nap." Only then did she send him away.

One Dragon Boat Festival, Shui helped a woman give birth. She disturbed the family's drinking of realgar wine and became somewhat tipsy. Receiving a gift from the Three Star Gods, she bought a roast duck, several catties of good wine, and some zongzi (sticky rice dumplings), and went to Yang Da's house. Partly to celebrate the festival, and partly to relieve her drunkenness. Upon entering, she found the house quiet. It turned out that Yang Da's wife was ill, and her family had taken her to her parents' home. Yang Da and his companions had eaten their fill of wine and returned home drunk, sleeping on a bench in the house. Shui shook him awake. Seeing the gifts, Yang Da chuckled and said, "On such a festive day, I hadn't been able to invite you, and now I've troubled you. Oh well, I've disturbed your duck; once you're in the mood, I'll treat you to chicken." Shui smiled too. Yang Da quickly cut up the duck and served it, then brought a plate of zongzi and chopsticks. The two sat side by side on the bench, taking turns drinking. Shui said, "I just went inside, where is he, Miss?" Yang said, "I haven't seen you these past few days. The other day I couldn't take it anymore and had some fun with him, which flared up my old ailment again. These past few days, my lower abdomen and back have been hurting terribly. Yesterday his mother took him to celebrate the festival." Shui said, "You're such a reckless fellow. Since you know he has this ailment, you should have been gentler." Yang laughed and said, "How could I have done it again? He's not well, and I was still on tenterhooks. If it were you, you'd think I was being too lenient." Shui laughed and pinched him. Yang Da offered her wine, but Shui Shi said, "I was at that house just now, and they made me drink several cups of realgar wine. My head is still spinning. Let me calm down a bit before I drink." Yang Da said, "I was drinking with my friends earlier, and I drank a couple more cups. I'm still not quite sober. Let's have some fun while I'm still tipsy, and then we can drink when I'm sober. It's almost noon outside, let's have some fun." He then helped Shui Shi undress. She had come for this very purpose, so how could she refuse? The two of them were naked, and Shui Shi lay down on the bench. Yang Da stood on the ground, lifted her legs, and began to have sex with her. Now,

let's talk about the sedan chair carriers in Nanjing. Each dock had twelve carriers. Each dock was located on a street, and they only did business on that street. They were registered in the county register as officials, and these twelve were considered legitimate. Those who were not registered in the county register but did business at the dock were called "casual workers." They received a monthly allowance from the officials, and they were considered legitimate. There are eight hundred wharves in Nanjing, a long-standing tradition. At this particular wharf, due to the upcoming festival, everyone gathered to discuss matters. Twelve people each contributed a few coins to buy wine, meat, and zongzi (sticky rice dumplings) for a meal. Yang Da was among them. His mother-in-law had come to pick up her daughter the day before, and Yang Da had brought several jin of wine to entertain her. His mother-in-law didn't eat, and went home with her daughter. Last night, Yang Da had taken people out for a celebratory feast, where he ate a few extra dishes. Returning home late at night, he went to sleep without eating anything. Early the next morning, he smelled the aroma of wine. On this hot day, the cool wine, after a few sips, made him half-drunk. He then went out to eat with the others, drinking several large cups in a row, and returned home drunk. The eleven were still eating when one of them said, "Brother Yang's alcohol tolerance is usually quite good, but he got drunk after only a little food today." Another said, "He was already tipsy when he arrived, having drunk seven or eight cups of liquor without eating a single dish. Wasn't he drunk and waiting to be invited?" Yet another said, "No, that's not it. Lately, I've seen that fat wife from the Bu family frequently visiting his house, often bringing wine and food. She stays for half a day at a time; they probably have some kind of affair. Otherwise, why would she come if they're not related? Today, I guess she's bringing some things for the festival, so the two of them can have some fun. Celebrating the Dragon Boat Festival. Brother Yang is enjoying the meat lotus pods, while the fat wife is eating the single-hole lotus root..." "What do you mean?" one said. "That's how you guess. As far as I can tell, the two students fought over a pen. That woman works as a midwife or a doctor, and she's so protective of every penny she earns. Would she really do something like this, losing money to support a man?" Another said, "That doesn't matter. Brother Yang's assets are decent enough. If he falls in love, he'd be willing to give it up." Just then, a man named Zhang San went out to urinate and came back in laughing, saying, "That fat woman went to his house carrying a roast duck, a string of zongzi, and a bottle of wine." The first one said, "What do you think? I'm so confident I can guess right away. I just guessed Brother Yang is..." "We're waiting for him to come for the festival, and I've already predicted it. Those two will surely be overjoyed. Why don't we all go and catch them? We can extort money from their whole family and make them celebrate the festival too!" One said, "No way. If it were just Brother Yang and his wife doing it, we could go. But he has that young woman at home, how can we go?" Another said, "I saw his mother-in-law come to pick up her daughter yesterday." One said, "Since no one's home, that's still possible." Another said, "Is he stupid? If two people want to do it in broad daylight, is there anyone who doesn't close the door? Are we going to climb over the wall? If we get involved with the authorities, what will happen?" "If you can't have sex, you'll get a good beating on your ass." One of them, named Li Si, said, "It depends on everyone's luck, whether Xiezi has any luck or not. I'll go check it out. If the door is closed, fine. If it's open, I'll sneak in and take a look. If they're drinking, I'll come back. If they're doing something, I'll come and call you all to come together." One of them said, "What if he sees you?" Li Si said, "If he sees me, just say I came to see if you're sober enough and invited him to drink." Everyone was a little tipsy and got excited, saying, "That makes sense, hurry up and go."

Li Si walked to Yang Da's door, gently pushed it, and the door opened easily, not even locked. When Shui Shi came, she didn't know if Yang Da was home. Later, when the two were excited, not only were their feelings burning, but they were also drunk, so they didn't think about it at all. Li Si tiptoed in, and heard a series of sounds, followed by the woman's cry: "Oh, what a big cock! My brother, it's so good, I'm going to die of pleasure. Be rougher!" Then he heard Yang Da laugh: "I'm this rough, and you still think it's too light? If it were your daughter, she would have lost her life." Li Si gently opened his mouth and saw Yang Da carrying Shui Shi's legs, having sex with her on the bench. The woman had her eyes closed, her buttocks swaying wildly, moaning and groaning. Li Si rushed out, laughing, "Getting ready, getting ready. Hurry up!" One of them said, "Don't be reckless. Go in, and have one of you grab the pants and clothes first. Brother Li Si is strong, and Brother Yang is always jealous of you, so you go and hug him. Brother Zhang is nimble, so you hug the wife. We'll just say we're playing around and want to get a prize. If things get really heated, we'll have the pants and clothes, and they're both naked. We'll make a scene and even the officials won't be afraid." Everyone said, "That makes sense." So they all rushed to the door, quietly went in, and locked the door.

The two of them were in the middle of their fun and didn't notice anyone coming. Besides, Shui's lewd moans were deafening, so they couldn't hear any footsteps. Everyone pushed open the door and rushed in. One of them grabbed the clothes and held them in his arms, while Li Si grabbed Yang from behind and pulled him away. Shui was moaning with her eyes closed, but when she opened them, she was shocked. Just as she was about to struggle, Zhang San grabbed her from behind, pinching her nipples with both hands. Shui couldn't break free, only covering her wet vulva with one hand. Yang Da, seeing the crowd, realized they were there to catch her in adultery, his face paling, and he wanted to fight. Not only were there too many of them, but he knew he couldn't fight them off. Only Li Si held him, making it difficult to break free. He could only plead, saying, "Good brothers, we've been business partners for years. Even if someone plots against me, you brothers should protect me, not me!" The crowd laughed, "Brother Yang, you've misunderstood. Why would we, good brothers, bother to catch you? Grandma Bu's good stuff is famous, [this is truly an overstatement, I wonder where it's famous?] You've had your fill. Today, on this auspicious day, we're all grateful for your blessing and want to try something new. Are you willing to join us? We'll treat you to a big meal tomorrow, firstly to thank you, and secondly to keep you company." "No. Brother, what do you say?" Yang Da was relieved to see they weren't there to catch him in the act of adultery and laughed, "You bunch of brainless idiots, let's talk this out. You rushed in so recklessly, you scared me half to death. Fourth Brother, let me go and we can discuss it." Li Si laughed, "If I let you go, you can change your mind." Yang Da said, "You idiot, you've got Grandma Bu all clean, what's there to change?" One of them said, "Let Brother Yang go, he's not that kind of person. We're good brothers, let us all enjoy it, what's wrong with that? This is called 'burning the paper horse shop,' it'll earn us a favor." Li Si then released Yang Da. Yang Da said to Shui Shi, "Now that's what his brothers are thinking, what do you say?"

Although Shui was a wanton woman, she felt ashamed to be held naked by a strange man, with more than a dozen stern-faced young men staring at her. Hearing Yang Da's question, she lowered her head and remained silent. Another said, "How can you say no to Granny Bu? If you agree, will she object?" Yang Da replied, "Why would I object?" He then said to Zhang San, who was holding Shui, "Let go of her, let me discuss it with Granny Bu." Zhang San said, "If I let go, she'll try to escape." Another said, "If you let go, I'll take her clothes and pants. Do you think she'll run away naked?" Zhang San then let go. Yang Da whispered to Shui Shi, "This matter can't be left unresolved. If we don't give them a little push, with so many people and such power, it'll cause a huge embarrassment. Perhaps you should grant them their wish." Shui Shi, at this point, had no choice but to whisper back, "With so many people watching, how can we do this?" Yang Da said, "That's easy." He addressed the crowd, "Brothers, listen to me. Grandma Bu will probably have no choice but to come in since everyone is here. But please all stand in the courtyard and come in one by one. Otherwise, it's not only embarrassing for her as a woman, but you all will also feel uncomfortable." The crowd said, "That's fine, let's go out." One of them said, "Let's go by age order. [In ancient times, even in war, courtesy prevailed, and in matters like this, we still follow the order of seniority. The ancient customs are different from today. (laughs.)] This will save us from arguing and yielding. We've all been in order." Pointing to an older man, he said, "Brother, please go first." With that, the crowd went out. Yang Da took the clothes from the porter and put them on before leaving.

The other porter stepped forward, embraced Shui Shi, kissed her several times, and then took off his own clothes. These sedan chair carriers, even in the sweltering heat, wore only a small blue cotton shirt, bare legs, and linen trousers. They threw off their shirts and ripped off their trousers, leaving them completely naked. He first saw Shui Shi's naked body, her tight, snow-white flesh, two large, round nipples, and although she covered her lower body with her hands, it looked like a plump steamed bun, covered in hair, which aroused him. His penis, already hard, was already erect. He placed Shui Shi on the stool and thrust into her. Shui Shi still deliberately covered herself with her hands, and the man laughed and whispered in her ear, "You're like a common saying, 'taking off your pants and covering your vulva,' take your hands off." Shui Shi smiled and took her hands off. He had just been with Yang Da, and her vulva was still wet. He thrust all the way in, pumping in and out. One after another, he took over. Among them were men of all shapes and sizes, some large, some small, some thick, some hard, some thin, some long, some short, some long, some fast—a diverse array. Six men had already come in turn, and Shui Shi found some interesting, others bland and uninteresting. When the seventh came, his penis was both large and his skill high, rarely ejaculating. Shui Shi thoroughly enjoyed him, finding him far superior to Yang Da. Because of the crowd outside, she dared not make a sound, only bouncing her hips wildly. In her ecstasy, she pulled him close, offering him her mouth and tongue. She whispered in his ear, "Brother, you're quite skilled. What's your name?" He replied, "My name is Zhang San." Shui Shi embraced him, saying, "Good Third Brother, be rougher and faster!" Zhang San, appreciating her special favor, also exerted himself fully. After a long while, another came. Shui Shi recognized him immediately—it was the same man who had first embraced Yang Da. As he penetrated her, Shui Shi found his penis even thicker, longer, and more robust than Zhang San's. He thrust over a thousand times in one go. Shui Shi was brought to ecstasy again and again, utterly captivated. When asked his name, he said it was Li Si. He took even longer than Zhang San to finish. After half a day of this intense activity, Shui Shi was satisfied, both physically and mentally. By the ninth time, she felt a bit tired and whispered, "Take a break, let me rest a bit." The other man said, "We've been waiting for so long, we're getting impatient. Since we've been so kind, let's do you a favor and bear with it a little longer. It'll be over soon, just the three of us." He thrust even harder. Shui Shi had no choice but to endure it.

The eleven men started at noon and didn't finish until sunset. They all laughed and said, "Thank you, Grandma." Then they said to Yang Da, "Thank you for your trouble, Brother. We'll repay you another day." They laughed heartily and left. Yang Da closed the door and came in. When he looked at Shui Shi, he saw her sitting on the edge of a stool, her feet on the ground, legs spread wide, frowning, rubbing her lower abdomen. Her semen was dripping out, and her pubic hair was sticky, making her look like a bearded man who had drunk milk tea. This Shui Shi was a woman in her forties, and she was plump and strong. Although she had been roughed up by these people for half a day, she did not seem embarrassed. Yang Da asked her, "How are you feeling?" Shui Shi said, "My lower abdomen is very bloated, and my lower back is a little sore." Yang Da said, "You should lie on your back and let me rub it for you." He helped her lie down, took off one shoe, and rubbed it on her lower abdomen. Her semen flowed out in waves. As Yang Da rubbed the woman's belly, he laughed and said, "The ancients were absolutely right. They said that people can never learn to eat or dress properly, no matter how old they are. It's so true. The other day I overheard someone gossiping. They said that these bandits would kidnap women, sometimes three or five bandits sharing one woman, sometimes more than ten. If there were fewer women, they would take them to the camp, where forty or fifty bandits would share one woman, making her belly as big as a willow branch. They would heat up the sole of their shoes and rub it until it was all gone, then rub it again. I listened to it all, but who knew you'd actually need it today." Shui Shi laughed and scolded, "It's all because of you!" "The knife led the way, making me suffer this loss. And you're still spouting nonsense." Yang Da said, "You don't blame yourself for not closing the door when you came in, but you blame me?" Shui said, "I thought you weren't home, and then I forgot." Yang Da said, "It's all in the past, no need to complain. I see your thing still has the same hole, it hasn't cracked, it hasn't collapsed, it hasn't damaged anything. Just be more careful next time." The two laughed for a while, and Yang Da wiped it for a while with his hand. Seeing that there was no more water, he found a piece of rag and handed it to Shui. He wiped it clean and looked at the ground. There was a large puddle. Yang Da scooped up some ash and covered it up. Shui went into the room and sat down on the bed. Yang Da lit the lamp, went to the kitchen to warm the wine slightly, brought in the duck and zongzi and put them on the table. He put them against the bed, took off his clothes, and cuddled with Shui to drink. Yang Dadao: "Are you hungry? Have a zongzi." Shui Shi: "I don't feel hungry, my stomach is still a little bloated. I won't eat, I'll just have a few cups of wine." Yang Dadao: "I've had a full meal of wine since I got up this morning, and with all the noise and commotion, I haven't even had a bite of rice yet. I'm going to spoil you." He peeled the zongzi while eating the duck. He laughed and said, "Everything has its prophecy. I said I'd bother you with the duck, and then I'd treat you to chicken later. And sure enough, you only ate this much." Shui Shi pinched him twice and teased him for a while. Yang Dadao ate his fill of duck and zongzi, and the two of them tidied up and went to bed together. Yang Dadao touched her vulva and said, "Such a sturdy thing. Even if it were made of raw cowhide, after being pounded by these people for half a day, it would have been a little damaged. Yours hasn't been damaged at all." Shui Shi laughed and slapped him. Yang Dadao said, "Playing around is playing around, laughing is laughing, but on this important day, you've probably had your fill of fun. I did a little bit earlier, but I wasn't quite done. Will you give me a little more pleasure?" Shui Shi said, "Still having fun? If you keep going, I'll die." Yang Dadao said, "It's alright, I'll try. If I can't do it, then forget it." Shui Shi couldn't persuade him otherwise, so she had to let him on top of her. After a few thrusts, Shui Shi pushed him away, saying, "No, it hurts a bit deep inside. You should sleep, and we'll see if you feel better by dawn." Yang Dadao got off, and they both went to sleep.

When they woke up at dawn, Yang Dadao asked her, "Are you feeling better now?" Shui Shi said, "My stomach isn't bloated, but my hip bones are starting to hurt a bit." Yang Dadao said, "That's because those wicked creatures were rough with me. Let me try again." The two of them started again. Shui Shi said, "I can't do it. I don't feel anything inside, but my hip bones hurt a lot." Yang Dadao went down to look and saw that they were swollen like a big steamed bun. Yang Dadao said, "You can't do it, and I'm so bloated. What should we do?" Seeing his anxiety, Shui Shi got up, grabbed his penis, and smacked it with her mouth until Yang Dadao's bones went weak and he ejaculated, which Shui Shi swallowed. Yang Dadao was so grateful that he hugged her and kissed her twenty or thirty times.

The two got up and washed. Shui said, "I need to go home now, but my lower body hurts, and I can't walk. Have someone send me by sedan chair, and when I get home, give them some money." Yang laughed, "They still want money? That's outrageous!" He added, "Since your lower body hurts, stay a couple of days until you feel better. What's the rush?" Shui said, "There's no one at home, only my eldest child. I only said I was coming here yesterday, and I'd come back to celebrate the festival with the children, but they kept bothering me, and I'm delayed. I need to go back and see them today." Yang said, "Wait until I buy some groceries, then you can eat." Shui said, "I can't wait, I won't eat." Yang couldn't persuade her to stay, so she went to the dock. The sedan chair bearers smiled at him and said, "We troubled you so much yesterday, brother." Yang laughed and said, "You damned bunch, lighten up! Use your sedan chair carrying skills, you've made him paralyzed. He wants to go back but can't walk, so you carried him in the sedan chair and took him there. Do you really need money?" Zhang San and Li Si, who had been favored by Shui Shi yesterday, jumped up and laughed, "Why would we need money? We'll take him there." The two carried the sedan chair to Yang's gate and put it down. Shui Shi came out and got into the sedan chair. The two smiled and said, "Thank you so much, Grandma, for yesterday." Shui Shi smiled and glanced at him before getting into the sedan chair. The two carried her all the way to his house. Shui Shi got out of the sedan chair and said, "Wait here, I'll get the money for you." The two smiled and said, "We don't need money, thank you, Grandma." Shui Shi shook two silver rings off her finger and gave one to each of them, but the two refused to accept them. Shui smiled and said, "This isn't money for your sedan chair, it's a keepsake for you. Keep it safe." The two men thanked her with smiles and accepted it. Shui said, "It's important that your brother Yang doesn't see this." The two men replied, "We know." They carried the sedan chair away.

Shui felt fully recovered after four or five days. Two days later, her feet couldn't help but lead her to Yang's house again. Yang Da saw him, grabbed him, kissed him, then reached down to pull down his trousers and touch his genitals, saying, "Are you all better?" Shui Shi replied, "I'm better, but it's been hurting for several days. Hasn't the young lady returned yet?" Yang Da said, "No. I went to see him the other day, and he wasn't better yet. Since there's no one to take care of him at home, even when he's better, he can't handle much. It's better if he stays at his parents' house. As long as you come often, that's enough, what's the big deal?" He added, "I didn't get to enjoy myself fully the other day. Now that you're better, let's have our fill today." Shui Shi said, "Wait a minute, let me go and lock the door." She went out and locked the door, and fearing it wasn't secure, she even found a stick to brace it. Though she was like a wounded bird, she was still willing to lock the door. They went back to the bed and made love passionately. After they finished and went to bed, Shui asked thoughtfully, "Among the crowd the other day, those two strong young men surnamed Zhang and Li were even more formidable than you." Yang laughed loudly, "They're both only in their twenties, famously known as 'Donkey-Calling Zhang San' and 'Iron-Bar-Beating Li Si.' When a few of us went to the bend at Shuixi Gate to hammer nails, losing money but winning the host, those two were the leaders. Even the weaker prostitutes were afraid of them. Those two were probably the ones who injured you that day." Shui then remembered their nicknames and memorized them. After being raped by those sedan chair carriers, what self-restraint or shame could such men possibly have? They considered it an amusing incident, often sharing it as a joke, and the story spread throughout the street.

There lived a wealthy young man on this street, whose grandfather had also served in official positions. His surname was Shanyu, and his given name was Xue. He was only in his early twenties, with a delicate and charming appearance, like a woman. He wasn't particularly vicious, but he was naturally lustful and had a great fondness for jesting. When he got playful, his actions were always unexpected.

The Lantern Festival market in Nanjing was incredibly lively, running from the 8th to the 18th. There were many lantern sellers, but even more people watching. On both sides of the street, young nobles and wealthy families rented rooms to view the lanterns. Beaded curtains hung in the windows, and various exotic lanterns adorned the eaves, where people drank and made merry.
Some middle-class families, who also loved watching the lanterns and enjoying the festivities, wanted to rent lantern towers but lacked the means, so they hired sedan chairs to carry them. The market was as bright as day, a sea of people. Among them were some rogue young men who reached into the sedan chair's storage compartment and took off a woman's shoe. The woman wanted to scream but was too ashamed. Even if she had screamed, he would have pulled his hand away. No one knew who it was. In the lantern market, five or six out of ten women lost their shoes. People knew about this, yet people went every year; it was a custom that even the men in her own family couldn't stop.

Shan Yu Xue detested these kinds of scoundrels who took off their shoes, and he devised a clever scheme. During the Lantern Festival, he dressed as a woman, making a fake foot that peeked out from under the sedan chair curtain, but was nailed down and covered by an embroidered skirt. He sat cross-legged in the sedan chair, holding a thick awl over two feet long, sharpened to an extremely fine point. He watched the shoe intently, having the sedan chair bearers carry it back and forth through the market. Whenever someone reached out to touch his foot, he would strike with the awl. The person, pricked, dared not utter a sound and could only endure the pain and move away. After several days, the sedan chair's backboard was covered in blood, forming a thick crust. Isn't his joke amusing? Isn't it ingenious?

Even more ingenious, every Dragon Boat Festival, countless lantern boats and dragon boats floated on the Qinhuai River, and all the houses along the riverbanks were rented out, needless to say. Those who rode the boats on the river were as numerous as ants. How could women from ordinary families afford to come? Naturally, they were all ladies from wealthy families. Although curtains hung on all sides of the boats… The sunlight shone brightly, making everything seem almost invisible. There were also some frivolous young men who, though not daring to approach the boats side-by-side for admiring the sights, would follow the boats around, both to the left and right, front and back. Shanyu Xue, dressed as a woman, sat on his boat and instructed the boatman to only cruise in the most bustling areas, attracting these young men to keep their boats close to him. In the morning, he ordered his boat to moor in the crescent-shaped pond in front of the Confucian temple, and the young men's boats circled him at a distance. Suddenly, he ordered the curtain to be rolled up, his trousers bare to his knees, and he stretched out his large feet to wash them in the river. The young men, seeing this, were all ashamed and amused, and hurriedly sailed away. [Shanyu Xue's mockery, in two ways—treating scoundrels and humiliating frivolous youths—was far more effective than Tie Hua's sharp tongue.]

He possessed an astonishingly large member at his waist, over seven inches long, thick and strong. Relying on this monstrous member, and also possessing a handsome face, he devoted himself to philandering with women. He had one wife, three concubines, and two maids, yet this still wasn't enough; he also went out hunting for food. He often stood idly at the gate, watching, and saw Shui often coming and going in the street. Although not young, she was quite voluptuous, with a seductive air about her. He became pleased, saying, "This woman, judging by her appearance, must be quite attractive. The ancients said, 'A middle-aged beauty is worth having.' Why not find a way to have some fun with her? It would be quite interesting." He was still worried that although she appeared seductive, she might be virtuous at heart. What if she didn't comply at first? Wouldn't that cause trouble? Recently, he heard rumors that she was having an affair with Yang Da, and that the sedan chair bearers had falsely accused her of adultery. He laughed, "What's wrong with having a woman like that?" So he devised a plan and waited for her at the gate every day.

One day, she saw Lady Shui approaching from afar. She quickly called a servant, whispered a few instructions, and he ran inside. Lady Shui was on her way to the Yang family mansion and decided to pass by their door. Just then, a servant called out, "Grandma Bu, you've come at the perfect time! I was just about to invite you." Lady Shui went up to him and asked, "What is your surname? What do you need me for?" The servant replied, "My master's surname is Shanyu." He whispered, "One of my master's concubines is about to give birth and can't continue. He sent me to fetch you. Please come in quickly." Lady Shui went in with him, and the servant led her to the study door. Lady Shui said, "Why isn't your concubine in the main room? She's in the study!" The servant said, "My mistress is very powerful; my master secretly married her here. I can't go in myself. Please come in, madam." Lady Shui believed him and lifted the curtain to go inside. A young woman sat on the edge of the bed, clutching her stomach, and said, "Hurry, I've already given birth to the head of my child, but the body won't come out. Please help me!" Shui said, "Oh dear, you're such a grown woman, why don't you ask someone to help you? You're growing up all by yourself." As she spoke, she quickly took off her coat, untied her skirt, and rolled up her sleeves. Reaching down to her crotch, she didn't see the child's head, but instead felt the bald head of a small monk, erect and stiff. Shui grasped it in her hand, finding it larger than Zhang San's or Li Si's, a strange sight she had never seen before, and laughed uncontrollably. Clutching it, she said, "So you were just playing with me! I'll pull this child out first!" She pulled it out. Seeing that he showed no shame or anger, Shan Yuxue knew he had fallen in love, so he pulled him onto the bed. [Pulling him onto the bed is clever. Shan Yuxue was small, and Shui was large; he couldn't lift him, so he pulled.] She untied his belt and took off his trousers. He didn't refuse, letting her take it off. Shan Yuxue then leaned over and thrust several times, penetrating her completely. Shui felt endless pleasure inside, experiencing a pleasure she had never tasted before. She felt a ticklish, tingling sensation, a truly wonderful sensation. She arched her back to meet him, just as she was enjoying herself, when she saw that Shan Yuxue had finished after less than ten thrusts. Shui grabbed his buttocks, saying, "Oh dear, you can't stop, my ancestor! If you stop now, I'll die. Hurry up and move again." Shan Yuxue saw that she was in such a state of arousal that he still tried to thrust, but unexpectedly, his member was like a cricket, without any hardness, which made Shui anxious and scream. Shan Yuxue originally had the ability to perform a hundred or so rounds, but due to his overexertion, he had become like this. He was pushed off by Shui, and while putting on his trousers, he said, "With this kind of skill, you still want to seduce women? It's enough to keep the women in the house from eating wild food." He put on his lower body and then his clothes, and went outside. The Chanyu Xue, his face full of shame, said, "Have some food and drink before you go." Shui Shi scoffed, "Pshaw, I don't care for your food." She grumbled and stormed off. He was enraged by her words and went to Yang Dajia for a good laugh before calming down.

Meanwhile, Duo Yin had given birth to those puppies. He thought, "They're just puppies; they won't kill me. I'll be happy." He bought meat every day to feed the dogs. After ten days or so, he was clean and couldn't wait for the full month. Seeing the dogs jumping around on him, he became aroused and mated with them. From then on, day and night, whether the dogs jumped at him in a moment of joy or he was aroused, they would mate.

One day, a noodle shop opened across the street and bought two fat donkeys, which took turns pushing the millstone. He lived in a house facing the street, without a backyard, and had nowhere to tether his donkey. During the day, he would borrow the backyard of the You family to tether it and rest there. In the evening, he would lead it home to feed it, and they would give him two sesame cakes every day. Hearing there were sesame cakes, Mr. Bu agreed. A few days later, Mr. Bu happened to see the donkey, sometimes sticking out its udder, which had split open, revealing a large, hard, trumpet-shaped head, its belly rumbling loudly. He exclaimed happily, "This thing is quite interesting to grow up with, much better than a dog's. Why don't I try it out? Could it give birth to a little donkey?" His excitement was boundless. He noticed that the big donkey's udder was too large, while the little donkey's was slightly thinner and shorter. He said, "Let's try the little one first. If it's alright, then we'll try the big one." One day, around noon, the shop took the big donkey away and replaced it with the little donkey to rest. Not long after, the donkey stuck out its udder. Mr. Bu quickly grabbed a bench, put it down, took off his trousers, and, holding the donkey by the hand, leaned back on the bench and pulled it along. The donkey was stupid and didn't understand human nature like a dog. Seeing a person asleep, it not only dared not mount him, but actually backed away. This happened several times, and Duoyin was terrified, breaking out in a cold sweat. When he sat up to look, the donkey had completely tucked its genitals back in. He reached out to pinch it, and the donkey jumped up. Duoyin was at his wit's end, his anger rising. Then he saw the dog climbing and jumping all over him. He led the donkey around, watching, and then lay back down, letting the dog do as it pleased. Several days passed, and the donkey became somewhat familiar with the situation. The large animal had developed some intelligence; although it dared not jump openly, it would sniff its genitals, tilt its head back, bar its mouth, and sniff again after a while. Seeing that he was starting to understand, Bu Shi used the dog as an example to teach him more often.

Suddenly one day, Bu Shi had just fallen asleep on the bench when she led the donkey to her side. The donkey sniffed, bared its mouth, and its genitals became hard and protruding. Then it jumped onto her. Overjoyed, Bu quickly grasped it and inserted it into her vagina. The donkey thrust in as well, and Bu felt a satisfying sensation within her, her whole body throbbing with pleasure. Afraid it was too long, she gripped only half of it with one hand. The donkey thrust a few times, but not reaching its full length, and with a forceful thrust, the bench tilted, and Bu almost fell. She quickly let go and moved the bench, but unexpectedly, the donkey, finding nothing to obstruct her passage, thrust in hard, piercing her heart. Bu was already dead. The donkey, unaware of her death, continued its pleasure for a few more thrusts before pulling out. [Looking at this passage, one realizes that the silver, the donkey, and the dog are not surprising.]

In the afternoon, You Xialiu came to the house, intending to send Bu to lunch. He knocked several times at the door, but no one answered, assuming she was asleep, and dared not disturb her. Waiting until sunset, fearing he would be late cooking dinner and incur punishment, was another matter. Anxious, he gently pried open the door. Entering the room, he found no one. Reaching the backyard, he saw Duoyin, naked from the waist down, lying on a bench. Her legs were dangling, and the large dog was clinging to her, thrashing about, refusing to let

go even when people approached. You Xialiu initially thought that Bu Shi had simply drunkenly taken a nap, and the dog had come to cause trouble. Reaching closer, he quickly released the dog, finding her genitals covered in blood. Seeing the blood everywhere, he was shocked. Looking at Bu Shi, he realized she was dead. He was filled with doubt, unable to understand why. Suddenly, he saw the donkey lying on the ground munching on grass, blood dripping from its genitals, and realized that he had killed it. Seeing the dog's behavior, he understood that the children born previously were all its offspring, not some malevolent spirit. He carried the corpse inside, wiped away the blood, straightened its legs, and put trousers on it. He then took a door panel, placed it down, and hurried to his mother-in-law's house to report the news.

Just then, Madam Shui returned from the Yang family's residence, still slightly tipsy. You Xialiu recounted the details of his daughter's death in detail. Upon hearing of her daughter's scandalous death, Madam Shui blushed deeply and was speechless. Bu Zhishi grinned, chuckling incessantly. Madam Shui accompanied You Xialiu to his house, entered, saw the woman's corpse, wept, and returned home. You Xialiu bought a coffin for the burial. This time, he disregarded the proper rites of the Wen family, hiring monks and Taoists to chant scriptures and perform rituals. He also forwent a commoner's funeral, allowing the mourning period to last for twenty-one days. He then hired someone to go to the countryside to inform Bu Tong.

It turned out that Bu Tong was staying at the home of a wealthy man surnamed Yi in Tushan, having an affair with Jiao, the mother of one of his students. She was a widow, deeply in love with him, and hadn't returned home for over half a year. Little did he know that his wife had also taken a lover to her adopted son-in-law. This shows that men think cheating on their wives is an extremely cheap and enjoyable thing, unaware that their own wives at home might also be cheating on them, enjoying even more pleasure and satisfaction. People, thinking of this, would rather not do such frivolous things.

Bu Tong, hearing of his daughter's death, had no choice but to come. Upon arriving at his son-in-law's house, he wept a few times. Shui Shi and You Xialiu only told him about Duo Yin's illness, not about the pleasures of the night. Firstly, he was preoccupied with Jiao Shi, and secondly, during their encounter with Shui Shi that night, he had exhausted himself and felt no pleasure. Shui Shi, after her encounter with Yang Datong and the sedan chair bearers, had become much more alluring, far surpassing her former self. Bu Tong didn't dare ask, finding it utterly uninteresting. Unable to wait for his daughter's burial and unable to leave his post, he hurriedly went to the countryside. Shui Shi, already annoyed by his presence, wanted him to leave early. Seeing Bu Tong gone, she ignored her daughter's chanting at home and went to drink and make merry with her son-in-law. You Xialiu's funeral and burial of Bu Shi need not be detailed.

After the matter was over, You Xialiu saw the dog jumping around on the bed, howling all day long, seemingly missing Bu Shi. [Even dogs have feelings; people treat their spouses like slaves, as if they were strangers. Even if they are divorced without cause, the dog would not behave like that.] Overwhelmed with hatred and anger, he beat it to death with a stick. Seeing that it was quite fat and strong, he boiled and ate it to vent his anger. [This is not eating a dog, but eating an adulterer. Why not just eat its skin? This dog ate a lot of You Xialiu's beef; now You Xialiu is eating it, which is only repaying the favor. But this dog was You Xialiu's benefactor; killing it is going too far. Isn't this repaying kindness with ingratitude? Since Duoyin got this dog, You Xialiu's tongue has been saved so much trouble; isn't that the dog's virtue?] The donkey, several days after Duoyin's death, died without any apparent illness. You Xialiu heard this and was secretly pleased. [Although he was pleased, the noodle shop was in for a bad time.] In truth, You Xialiu should feel indebted, not resentful. If Duo Yin hadn't died because of this, how long would his suffering have lasted? How could outsiders know about these family affairs? When You Xialiu was exchanging letters with Shui Shi, Bu Zhishi overheard and, thinking it a strange tale, told everyone, "My sister gave birth to a litter of puppies, and they were fucked to death by a donkey." Thus, the story spread far and wide. [You Xialiu's notorious lewdness was repeatedly exposed. Bu Zhishi, unaware of the good reputation he held, was now truly scorned.]

One day, You Xialiu thought to himself: "Because of my filial impiety, I willingly indulged in lewdness. [You Xialiu is aware of his own lewdness; there are those who are unaware of their own depravity, but You Xialiu is far inferior.] I married a wife and suffered countless humiliations. Although his death was retribution for his excessive lust and evil, my shameful reputation cannot be concealed. In this state, I may never be able to have children in this life." To marry again would only lead to the same fate; wouldn't that be asking for trouble? His father's inheritance of several hundred taels of silver had been spent on marrying Bu Shi, and there had been no further gains in the past two years. Bu Shi demanded meat and wine daily, which he dared not refuse. And now, with this funeral, the silver was almost gone. In a fit of rage, he sold all his house and belongings, grabbed some silver, became a Taoist priest, and went to Zhongnan Mountain in Shaanxi to cultivate himself. [So that one day he could return to Yao Zemin's command.]

You Hun Gong had been a bad man his whole life, a disciple his entire life, yet his son became a monk with no heir, and his wife was killed by a donkey—truly lamentable. Bu Tong, a teacher who was utterly ignorant his whole life, had a daughter like this; it was heartbreaking. He had an affair with his student's widowed mother, and his wife had an affair with a fake son-in-law who carried his sedan chair—retribution was inevitable. Fortunately, his son, Bu Zhishi, was merely dull-witted and didn't commit any major evils; this was a stroke of luck amidst misfortune, but his bloodline had already been severed. In this world, can one disregard the four words: Heavenly Principle and Conscience? Leaving that aside,

let's return to the story of Huan'e, who, having lived a life of luxury, often admired him. Whenever she met with Jia Wenwu and Tong Zida for drinks, she would invariably speak of his dashing and handsome appearance. One day, late in the Mid-Autumn Festival, Huan'e invited the three of them to her home to admire the osmanthus blossoms and drink wine. There were over ten large pots of osmanthus, each as thick as a bell, planted in exquisite porcelain pots. There were three kinds: red, white, and yellow, all blooming with a wonderfully fragrant aroma. An ancient poem praised them: "

The flower has one name, but the variety has three colors: tender red, enchanting white, and delicate yellow. In the clear autumn scenery, after the rain, the wind is cool. The fragrance of orchids and musk wafts everywhere in the courtyard, elegant and enchanting. Natural charm, blooming without disturbing butterflies or bees. Carrying wine, I bow alone to the eaves, asking the flower goddess which she belongs to, the center of the trigram Li and Dui. This inspires poets to compose verses, with many talented men vying to pluck the blossoms." Huan'e said: "Three kinds of fragrance, the top scholar's red is the first, the second the second, and the third the third." During their drinking, Huan'e remarked, "It's been a while since I've seen Qian Gui

; he seems to be better. We've had our fill of flowers; why don't we take advantage of the wine and go to his house for some fun?" Tong Zida exclaimed, "Brother, that's a great idea! I've been thinking about him these past few days. Let's go quickly. I told you two brothers beforehand that I'm definitely going to touch him this time; don't be jealous!" Everyone laughed. Huan'e told his servants to bring the fan he had written about earlier, and the group of ruffians rushed to the Qian family's house.

When they arrived at the door, it was tightly shut. The servants knocked, and after a few knocks, Hao Shi opened the door. Wu He said, "The three gentlemen have come to visit your daughter again." Hao replied, "My daughter is still ill and would offend you gentlemen; she cannot accompany you." Huan E said to the others, "Ignore him, let's go in." Hao stopped at the door, saying, "If she is truly ill, then please come in; I cannot accompany you." Huan E angrily retorted, "Nonsense!" He pushed open the door, and Hao saw the group entering. Hao dared not strongly stop them, but there were too many people to prevent them from entering. Huan E arrived at Qian Gui's door and saw him sitting with a handsome scholar, chatting and laughing. Enraged, she said, "This fellow is perfectly fine at home, why is he lying to me saying he's sick? He doesn't keep elders like us around, but instead plays with that pedantic fellow. I troubled a famous gentleman to write a poem for him, and he doesn't even appreciate it! How despicable!" Emboldened by her anger, she ordered her servants, "Beat him!" These wicked servants, used to their master's misdeeds, and now seeing their master's anger, ordered a beating. They smashed everything—doors, windows, lattice doors, tables, chairs, and furnishings. Hao Shi was so frightened she vanished without a trace, Dai Mu was nowhere to be found, and Cai Xiang hid under a pile of reeds. Huan E then ordered her servants to bring out the blind servant. Just as everyone was about to step forward, Wu He stopped them, saying, "My lord, please calm down. This is probably the fault of the old woman, and has nothing to do with Qian Gui. You mustn't let such a trivial matter upset you." As he was speaking, Zhong Sheng, seeing the beating was too blatant and hearing him order Qian Gui to leave, panicked. Forgetting all about stroking his beard, he stepped forward and said: [From these words, it becomes clear that Zhong Sheng is not a man who doesn't know when to stop. His light stroking of his beard was to protect Qian Gui; he was driven by emotion and acted recklessly.] "In brothels, rich and poor alike can come and go. Even if you are ill, it's not a serious offense. Why must you be so extreme, sir?" Huan E, upon hearing this, became even more enraged and said, "Who do you think you are, you little beast, daring to call me 'sir' and speaking in front of my master?" Tong Zida, relying on Huan E's power, shouted, "This is outrageous! Even I am not called 'master,' let alone my elder brother! You call him 'sir'? Open your eyes and see who he is! Is there such a respectable gentleman in the world? How infuriating! How despicable! Beat him! Beat him!" He rolled up his sleeves and shouted wildly. Zhong Sheng said, "We are scholars, and it is enough for us to call you 'sir'. Although we are commoners, we can speak to princes and dukes; why can't we? Besides, officials are just scholars; why do you look down on us like this?" Jia Wenwu swayed and said, "Those two elders are great figures in Jiangnan. Don't be so arrogant about your scholar status. Even if you pass the imperial examination, not only am I your senior, but how can a poor scholar like you compare to a wealthy scholar like me? I tell you, you are inferior. From this perspective, you are nothing but a vain fool." Huan E said, "Even if you are a scholar, I'll beat you up and see what you'll do." "Go and complain. Don't even mention your Taoist instructor; even if you gather a thousand scholars from the three schools, knock on the gates of the Meridian Gate, and file a complaint with the Eastern Depot, I won't be afraid of you. Who doesn't know that the current Grand Master Wei is my and my second brother's ancestor?" Tong Zida said, "Brother, I don't have the strength to talk to him. If this beating isn't satisfying, tie him up and take him home, hang him under the stable and beat him to a pulp. Only then will I be able to vent my anger. Otherwise, if I weren't angry, how could my master have suffered such a terrible ordeal? My stomach is bloated with anger."

Huan E, incited by him, actually listened to him and ordered three or four servants to seize Zhong Sheng and tie up Qian Gui. Wu He pleaded again, "I beg for mercy. This young man is ignorant and doesn't recognize you gentlemen. Qian Gui is blind; he's pitiful. Please, Your Excellency, have mercy." Just as he was about to plead, a servant sent by Huan Shi from the capital, dressed in travel attire, came running, panting heavily. Approaching Huan E, he kowtowed and reported, "An urgent letter has arrived from the capital." He then handed over a letter. It was a sealed letter from Huan Shi, very tightly sealed. Huan E quickly opened it and read: "The Tianqi Emperor has passed away, and the Chongzhen Emperor has ascended the throne. Wei Shanggong's affairs have deteriorated greatly; he was sent to Fengyang to inspect the imperial tombs. On the way, he hanged himself in Fucheng County, and his body was dismembered for questioning. Currently, his associates are being investigated and severely punished. I was once his disciple and never aided him in his evil deeds, which is why I have kept it hidden. You must be extremely discreet at home, lest someone expose you and your life and family be in danger. Be extremely careful, I urge you earnestly. If there is anything else, please tell me." Upon reading this, Huan E's initial malice vanished, and his face turned ashen. Jia Wenwu, who also had a troubled mind, took the letter and was terrified. They exchanged glances and rushed out the door. Seeing their master act this way, the servants, not knowing why, also abandoned Zhong Sheng and Qian Gui and drove them away. This is truly a case of: "Those

who have done things before, don't come together.

" What became of this Huan Shi father and son? When did Zhong Sheng and Qian Gui finally become a couple? To know the story told by many, carefully read on. (

End of Volume Twelve, "Random Thoughts")

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