Chapter 44 of "A Wife's Heart is Like a Knife"

page views:1 Publication date:2023-03-23

Author: Yao
Published: November 11, 2017
Original: Yes
First Published: No
The wind outside the window was strong, howling like wolves. The sky was covered with dark clouds, and the world was gloomy.
I felt as if I were sitting on a train heading towards the end of the world, facing a dead
end that I wanted to turn back from but could not…
The wind stung my face.
At times like this, people tend to easily recall many beautiful memories of the past,
those times with Lin Qian, the little things in life, and they become somewhat reluctant to let go… So the pain in my heart is indescribable…
I suddenly thought of the story Lao Cai told, “If I don’t get promoted, have no future, have nothing,
can I go back to my old life? Just like in those time-travel novels…”
As I was lost in thought, someone suddenly tugged at me.
I heard Lao Cai say to me in a conciliatory tone, “Stand up quickly.”
As I stood up, my hand instinctively pressed the close button on the camera. I couldn’t let others see
what I was looking at…
When I turned around, everyone in the conference room was looking at me, and they were applauding enthusiastically. The applause was like
the sizzling sound of stir-fried vegetables being poured into a wok of boiling oil—very noisy.
The CEO on the stage was smiling at me. Suddenly, I became the center of attention.
I felt numb. I knew I was going through the saddest thing ever, and I couldn't smile at all.
Old Cai, sitting one seat away from me, leaned forward and whispered in a familiar tone,
"They're calling you. Hurry up and go up. A meteoric rise."
My heart skipped a beat as I looked at that face, full of a fake smile. The CEO's booming voice filled the conference room
, "You've been promoted! Congratulations!"
The sound was like a thunderclap, making me panic.
The HR manager on stage praised me, "You're
one of the three youngest people in our company to reach this position in the last twenty years. Truly young and promising!" This was probably the first time in all these years that this manager had praised someone like this in front of everyone
.
But I couldn't smile at all.
The latter half of the meeting was basically a constant stream of congratulations.
I could only force a smile.
Those words felt like slaps to my face. I knew what was happening at home, but I
could only smile at people.
It was the most painfully painful smile I'd ever had in my life; time seemed endless, like it would never end
…
As the meeting was about to end, Lao Cai asked me to treat him to a meal. This guy rarely stood
next to me before, but this time he specifically switched seats with Xiao Gong to sit next to me. Ever since I was confirmed for my promotion, he'd
been practically following me like a shadow.
Several other close colleagues joined in the teasing.
But I refused; I really wasn't in the mood.
"A couple of days later… not today,"
Xiao Gong joked from the side. "Going home to celebrate with your wife, huh?" He continued with a laugh,
"Then you'd better make that call first. Otherwise, you might run into 'good news for your wife' when you get home, haha
…" Everyone else laughed.
These guys are used to joking with me all the time, so it wouldn't normally be a problem. I used to
joke with them like that all the time.
But this time, I couldn't laugh—Lin Qian really had some "good news" going on…
Old Cai noticed my displeasure. Xiao Gong's joke just now used
a reference to that joke Old Cai had told me about promotions.
He felt that Xiao Gong's joke had affected my impression of him and immediately scolded, "Xiao Gong, how can you talk like that?
I was just joking, he got it through real talent!"
I waved my hand and said, "It's okay. But let's postpone the treat for a couple of days. I'll definitely treat the brothers."
After the meeting, I left first.
Because we had a half-day off after the meeting, everyone left, and everyone who had finished the meeting had their own place to go.
After I left the back door of the Mayflower Hotel, I suddenly felt a little lost.
The parking lot behind the hotel was empty, and the wind was blowing the leaves, making them swirl on the ground.
I stood there, lost in thought.
Go home? I wasn't in the mood…
Go out for a walk? I didn't know where to go…
Over the years, I've gotten used to going home after work. Suddenly, I didn't know where to kill time.
There was a burning, unfulfilling feeling inside me, a sense of helplessness.
I finally decided to go back to the company.
The company was closed for the holidays after the annual meeting, so it was almost deserted. I swiped my key card and went in alone. Inside,
it was as silent as a post-apocalyptic world after a zombie outbreak. It seemed
like I was the only one in the entire building; even my footsteps echoed.
From that day forward, I was the manager of this Fortune 500 company. Yet, I felt no joy whatsoever.
Bored, I returned to my office, and out of sheer boredom, I even started working overtime.
Work was a good thing for me; at least I could keep busy and temporarily escape
the painful things I had to face.
That afternoon, according to my usual schedule, it was time to leave work, but I didn't leave.
All my work was done.
I had nothing to do.
So, I even helped the company's cleaning lady clean the entire floor.
The elderly cleaning lady was deeply moved and said, "You're the newly promoted manager! You're
so kind, so approachable. These days, who's willing to do this kind of work? They're all spoiled brats."
I was somewhat surprised. I didn't know how the news had spread so quickly. I thought the building was deserted, yet it
had already reached here. It felt as if a large group of ghosts were lurking in the corners of this building.
The old lady was very talkative. She talked about her son and daughter, both of whom were working and earning good salaries. She used to work
for an old state-owned enterprise and had a pension. The reason she worked as a cleaner here wasn't because she needed money, but simply to pass the time.
As she left, she advised me, "My children are away, and I'll have no one to keep me company when I go back. Young people, if you can go home earlier 　　,
you should. It'll save your family from worrying."
I gave a bitter smile. I hadn't expected Lin Qian to come directly to the company to pick me up. 　　Because I always got off work earlier than her, I almost never let her come here. 　　I felt a startled sense of surprise. I wasn't prepared to face her. Or rather, I didn't want to go back 　　because I hadn't figured out how to face her. 　　But she came too quickly; I didn't have time to react. 　　The sun was setting outside. As 　　I sat on the bench in the corridor, I saw her come in wearing a black mid-sleeve dress, the red glow behind her making 　　me feel a little like I was hallucinating. 　　I didn't know if she still loved me. Or if she had truly been conquered by someone else. From then on, her heart belonged only to someone else 　　. 　　I couldn't describe the feeling. It was like looking at something I once possessed alone, but now didn't know who it belonged to 　　. 　　Her expression, however, seemed as calm as when she left for work that morning. There was no change whatsoever. It was as if 　　nothing had happened this afternoon. 　　Her serene demeanor surprised me, making me feel like my life was a series of fragmented silhouettes. 　　That tranquility was as if only I had seen a part of it, while she hadn't actually experienced it at all. 　　"Honey, you haven't come home. I was worried something had happened to you, so… I came here. 　　What's wrong?" she asked cautiously. Her long black hair swayed beautifully in the wind. 　　I didn't speak. Lin Qian guessed, "Is there a problem at work?" She sat down next to me, leaning against me 　　. 　　We sat in the corridor, facing the building's windows, outside the city bathed in the setting sun, everything seemingly 　　submerged in crimson water. That soft body against me felt utterly unfamiliar. 　　I wondered if I should explain things now? But this was the company; I didn't know 　　if anyone was still in this seemingly empty building. Eavesdropping was commonplace here. 　　Some things were better discussed at home. 　　I had indeed been busy with promotion matters lately. Lin Qian knew this. 　　She leaned closer to comfort me, saying, "Disappointed in your career, but successful in love. Don't worry about your position. 　　I'll keep you company today." 　　Contrary to what she said, I was successful in my career… 　　Her voice was gentle, just like when we were together. "Mom came back from shopping this afternoon, but you didn't come 　　home. I've already arranged for them to eat." She spoke quietly. "If you're feeling down, let's 　　go out for dinner tonight. Let's clear your head. Actually, don't worry about work, whether it's successful or not." 　　"Mom didn't go home?" I asked. Mom was supposed to leave this afternoon. 　　"Yeah," Lin Qian said. "She said she hadn't finished shopping this afternoon. She and two elderly ladies from the church 　　are sleeping at our house tonight." 　　I didn't want to eat. But at this point, I was really hungry. She kept trying to appease me, but I really didn't 　　feel like having a big meal. I just bought a hamburger on the way and ate a quick bite. 　　When I got home, I realized Lin Qian had left me food. There were four dishes on the table, and the rice cooker was still lit. 　　"You cooked dinner, why didn't you say so?" 　　she said, helping me with my clothes from behind. "Your wife saw you were unhappy, so she wanted you to be a little willful." She's always 　　so sensitive to my emotions. I guess she probably saw me at work and sensed I was unhappy, which is why 　　she suggested going out to eat. 　　I can't understand what she's doing now. 　　If she really cares about me, why did she do that... If those things hadn't happened... I would be 　　so happy now, with a higher position, higher income, everything would be perfect. 　　But all of this has become meaningless because of this one thing. 　　Because my mother and two aunts were staying at home that night, 　　I didn't want them to see my unhappiness. I only greeted my mother and the two older women and went to 　　the study. 　　I browsed the internet for a bit. Finally, I fell asleep on the sofa. 　　When I woke up, it was still dark. The living room was completely dark. Only the hallway light by the door was on. 　　I saw Lin Qian wiping my shoes under the doorway light. 　　The light was warm and tranquil, and she was still so beautiful, quietly doing these things under the light. Over the years, she 　　has always done these chores for me. She has never complained. 　　I am somewhat at a loss. Or rather, how can I 　　connect this wife like this with that crazy, beastly woman? 　　The two images are as vast as if separated by a galaxy. 　　Over the years, every time I come home, I am busy with my own things in the study or something. And 　　she takes care of almost all the chores at home, including cleaning my clothes, shoes, and ties. 　　In my half-awake state, I think: if none of this had happened, how wonderful it would all be 　　... 　　The image of Lin Qian squatting at the door wiping my shoes keeps appearing in my mind. 　　 [To be continued] 　　PS: I created a Google community for "Wife's Heart is Like a Knife" on my Google GMIL account 　　. Friends who are interested can search for "Wife's Heart is Like a Knife".

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Chapter 44 of "A Wife's Heart is Like a Knife"

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