Feelings in passion

page views:1 Publication date:2016-06-13

We met a wonderful couple—a very kind, warm, and loving pair.
We met them (I will refer to Mr. C as C and his wife as Q) at a restaurant in Tianjin. Knowing we liked spicy food, they thoughtfully treated us to hot pot.
Seeing them wave, we sat down facing each other and started talking about the weather, the climate differences between Tianjin and Beijing. Later, the men's conversation shifted to cross-strait relations, while Q and I remained relatively silent.
I didn't dare look at C; I felt I would reveal my expression or intentions. For a moment, I felt like I had fallen from a high place of fantasy to the ground, the clear feeling of falling bringing clarity to my mind.
To be honest, I felt we were better suited as friends than as lovers.
Sure enough, after dinner, when we went to karaoke, everyone relaxed and forgot what they were actually supposed to be doing. My husband was very happy, drinking beer and singing old songs from his memories, as if he were back in the season of love. He held the microphone in one hand, pointed at me with the other, and sang, "My favorite is you..."
His dreamy eyes moved me. They sang together affectionately and were very happy. We passed the time so casually, the dim lighting offering no emotional connection, the love songs we sang merely beautiful notes… No one knew what to do or not to do.
Around 11:30, we took a taxi to their place.
It was a typical couple's home, simple and cozy inside. Stepping out of the living room, there was a large balcony, and my congested mood suddenly eased for a moment; the night breeze was gentle. As C walked onto the balcony, her hand briefly lingered on my waist, and I suddenly tensed up. After
sitting for a while, I went to take a shower. Q brought me one of her nightgowns. I repeatedly told my husband I wanted something modest, but when I came out, I still noticed half of my breast and clearly visible areolas… I covered my chest with my hands and sat next to my husband.
Everyone took turns showering, the rest of us rather silent. At that time, a channel was broadcasting The Legend of the Condor Heroes.
Afterward, we all sat obediently in the living room watching TV until after 1 a.m. the next morning.
The lights were bright, and there was no hint of ambiguity between us, so the hostess turned off the living room lights.
Everyone started laughing knowingly.
I was actually a little reluctant because C wasn't my type (sorry).
But with the lights off, the visual pressure lessened considerably, so we started creating an ambiguous atmosphere.
When we all sat on the sofa, C put his arm around my shoulder and his right hand around my chest… I didn't refuse; at that moment, the situation controlled everything. I saw my husband sitting properly, and I suddenly felt sorry for Q, so I encouraged my husband with my eyes.
I felt relaxed then; perhaps the brief physical pleasure gave me a rare sense of tolerance and acceptance…
Later, we did it separately in two different rooms, and it felt strange. Because of different habits or other reasons, my pleasure didn't come as expected… During our time together, C kept thinking about his lover, and I turned my head to one side, smiling understandingly.
Later, Q came to see us, but after just one glance, she ran out again. After Q left, she cried…
This reminded me of myself… But strangely, I didn't shed a single tear, and I couldn't even find a trace of sadness… My husband, C, and I were all comforting her.
Her crying was so moving; her tears intensified the emotional element of the game. I felt that authenticity was good; if everyone were only indulging in pure physical pleasure, it would make us feel even more miserable, and we might even start to doubt our own attitudes towards love.
Women are always a bit sensitive, and I felt a deep tenderness for her, like tenderness for myself.
So I had my husband hold her, while I hugged him from behind. Actually, I needed him too at that moment, but I didn't say it.
My head rested against his back, feeling the warmth of his chest.
This familiar, warm embrace… I couldn't bear to leave.
It took a long time for her emotions to stabilize, which I think was because of the simultaneous comfort from two men.
Q and I both believed that the men derived more pleasure from the game than the women, and we were very friendly at that time. Her smile was captivating.
After showering separately, we sat back down in the living room. We discussed how to sleep that night.
Actually, while showering, I clearly told my husband, "I don't want to spend the whole night with C." This was true; at the time, I hadn't thought that I also didn't want my husband to spend the night with another woman. I was simply making a strong demand based on my own perspective.
So everyone tried to conceal their true feelings during the discussion. Of course, explicitly expressing it would inevitably hurt some vulnerable soul.
I smiled and said, "I'm still not used to sleeping with strangers." If the lights were on, everyone would see my honest, undisguised smile.
Just then, C pushed the door open and told my husband they could switch beds. I was extremely unhappy to hear this, but I didn't say a word. My breathing seemed off, so he asked my husband what was wrong. My husband said he was crying. He asked why, and my husband said he didn't know.
So he said, "Then you two can sleep..."
After C left, I pretended to be calm and said, "Disappointed, aren't you? Why don't you come over? I'm fine sleeping alone... I won't be angry, really."
My husband smiled and hugged me tightly. I tried to dodge, but he held me tighter; I dodged again, but he held me tighter…
Finally, feeling wronged, I nestled into his arms, listing all his faults, and cried my eyes out…
He started kissing my earlobe… We made love quite well, working up a sweat, but then immediately fell into a deep sleep. I was still in the same position, holding him tightly from behind…
Before, he always draped his legs over me, but since I became pregnant in 2001, my husband has maintained this sleeping position to avoid putting pressure on my abdomen. So, for the past two years, this position has become our best sleeping position.
The next day, our game officially began.
It was already past ten o'clock when I woke up. I kissed my husband, and he seemed a little excited. I urged him to go to the next room, but he said no. I knew he was just saying it for my benefit, but I was still quite happy… Women are just a little silly like that… I don't know why my mood inexplicably improved.
He went over, and C came over.
C was very concerned about his wife and asked me, “Do you think they're done?”
I said, “Go and see. ”
He asked if I was going or not, and I said I didn't have the courage.
He went over and came back a little while later. I asked, "Are they done yet?"
He said, "They seem to be."
So I got dressed, my heart pounding, but I bravely said, "I'll go check too."
My husband was sitting on the edge of the bed, and Q was sitting too, a certain distance between them.
They laughed when they saw me coming. I asked, "How are they?
" My husband said, "I can't take it anymore, I feel pressured."
I asked why, and he said, "I keep worrying someone will come over..."
I said, "I didn't mean to come, he said you're all done for, so I came."
My explanation was correct, but the correct explanation conveniently masked my true feelings... I was still selfish.
So, we all got up and washed up. Then the men went downstairs to buy groceries, I watched TV in the living room, and she went online.
Later, the men cooked, and she helped out, while I went online in the inner room.
Seeing TT and "Mood" online felt like meeting family; an indescribable wave of grievances washed over me… They comforted me, consoled me, and even scolded me, but no matter what, they meant well. That was the best gift I received that day… "Mood" even called to comfort me and listen to my troubles…

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