Here are a few tips to prolong your sex life.

page views:1 Publication date:2019-04-10

1. Ejaculatory Control:

Ejaculation is a reflex. If a man can truly control his ejaculation process, he can enjoy a high level of sexual arousal in any situation and choose when to ejaculate. He can allow sexual arousal to reach a high level, then temporarily drop to a lower level, then rise again, then drop again, repeating this fluctuation until he wants to ejaculate. In other words, he can maintain a plateau level of sexual arousal for a long time and can also complete the ejaculation reflex in time when his wife is satisfied. Conversely, men who cannot control the ejaculation process will experience a rapid rise in sexual arousal from zero to orgasm, often without a clear plateau. Not only his partner but also he himself is dissatisfied with this, but he has no control over it, often leading to a predicament for both partners. Because ejaculatory control is a matter of technique or habit, its prognosis is not too bad; 80% of men can master this technique after 8-12 weeks of treatment and training. The manifestations of a lack of ejaculatory control are varied. Some men cannot control it in any sexual activity; some only experience premature ejaculation during intercourse, but not during other sexual activities such as masturbation. Most men with premature ejaculation also suffer from erectile dysfunction. If both are present, the erectile problem must be addressed first before tackling the premature ejaculation.

It's unclear why men's ability to control ejaculation varies so greatly; nor why some men improve with age and experience while others remain unable to. However, one thing is clear: premature ejaculation, unlike erectile dysfunction, doesn't have as many organic problems or drug-related effects. It's primarily related to a lack of knowledge, focus, or technique. It's also clear that abstinence will worsen the condition; even a normal person, after several weeks of abstinence, will ejaculate prematurely upon resuming sexual activity. Furthermore, anxiety can also cause loss of control; for example, premature ejaculation often occurs on the first sexual encounter of the night, but improves on subsequent encounters. Generally, men lacking control simply fail to take necessary behavioral adjustments when they are highly aroused but haven't ejaculated. This may be because they are not focused on their feelings and therefore cannot take appropriate actions; because they don't know when to adjust their pace; because they don't know what kind of adjustments to make. British sexologist Ziegeld proposed the following training program.

2. A Plan to Develop Ejaculatory Control

Developing ejaculatory control relies on two key abilities: first, the ability to focus more fully on one's own sexual arousal and tension; and second, the ability to modify behavior to prevent or delay ejaculation. During the plateau phase (actually the ejaculatory control phase), men can influence ejaculation through behavioral changes, such as slowing down, adjusting angles, resting briefly, and regulating breathing. Ejaculatory control is something that needs to be learned, like riding a bicycle; the bike won't stop automatically, you must learn to balance. The plateau phase (control phase) represents both arousal and tension (anxiety). Most people lacking control may experience both simultaneously; they often don't understand the difference between arousal and tension, but both can lead to rapid ejaculation. When a person enters sexual activity, their sexual desire or tension increases. To enhance this awareness, they must focus on their bodily sensations and feelings. For most men, sexual sensation primarily originates from the penis and scrotum. He must know at what level of sexual arousal ejaculation will inevitably occur, and then take measures to control ejaculation before reaching that point. The training principle for controlling ejaculation is that when a man or his partner is stimulating his penis, he should do two things: first, pay attention to his level of sexual arousal/tension, and second, stop stimulation or do something else to maintain ejaculatory control. Repeating this will achieve the training goal.

(1) Practice time: As long as both parties are happy and the man has no problem with erection, it is best to practice more than 3 times a week. The key is not to force himself to get an erection. If he has difficulty getting an erection, he should reduce the number of training sessions, such as twice a week. Specific training plans will be introduced later. (2) Concentration: Concentrate on the penis and scrotum, feel its swelling, fullness, excitement or other sensations, so that he will no longer worry or fear ejaculation too quickly, disappoint his partner, or whether his partner is willing to help him practice. Once his attention is distracted or diverted, he should immediately refocus. Imagine his attention as a spotlight on a stage. Once the main character moves, the light immediately follows. This way, he can return to focusing on the level of arousal/tension after his distraction. This ensures the effectiveness of the practice. (3) Stop stimulation time: Once the feeling of ejaculation is imminent, stimulation should be stopped to allow the level of arousal/tension to fully subside without causing the erection to disappear. The stop time can be 10 seconds, 30 seconds, or 90 seconds, depending on the individual's specific situation. If it is necessary to stop again within 1-2 minutes of restimulation, then the stop time should be appropriately extended. (4) Activities during the stop: Have a brief conversation with your partner to maintain emotional connection; relax and enjoy the feeling of arousal and dilation; take deep breaths to help relax; experience the feeling of ejaculation control; or lie there and do nothing. (5) What to do if ejaculation occurs during practice: When a man is not practicing, he can ejaculate as he wishes. He does not need to worry about the number of times, as long as it does not affect his erectile function during practice. It's best not to let the *arrangement* affect the implementation of the original training plan.

If a man wants to ejaculate at the end of the training, he can do so freely, but he should focus on his sensations and keep the stimulation at a low level, not letting it happen too quickly. It should be understood that there may be 1-2 unintentional ejaculations at the beginning of training, which is common and nothing to worry about. It can even be beneficial, helping you determine what the control period is. If this unintentional ejaculation continues, then there is a problem, and you may need to revert to the previous training content to achieve better control.

3. Fully utilize the mental role

In order to maximize the effectiveness of the physical exercises described below, men must focus their minds on their own sensations. Men who lack ejaculatory control often overly blame themselves for premature ejaculation, which, while reflecting reality, also brings pressure and interference to behavioral change. Correcting this mindset will be beneficial to behavioral change. Therefore, deny your negative thoughts and constantly reinforce positive ones. For example, continuously imagine that you have achieved ideal control, several times a day, for 30-90 seconds each time, imagining how well you are doing, including the entire process of sexual activity. Practicing this successful process several times each morning upon waking or before bed will reinforce a man's positive mindset.

4. Deep Breathing Exercises

Deep breathing can help men dispel arousal/tension, thus aiding in ejaculation control. Deep breathing should be deep, relaxed, and light. However, some men are more tense than usual when deep breathing, tightening their chest, neck, shoulder, and even arm muscles. How can this be considered deep breathing? Sometimes, even normal breathing is restricted.

Correct, relaxed breathing should be accompanied by the expansion and contraction of the abdomen. When inhaling, the abdomen should expand; when exhaling, the abdomen should contract. If this is not possible, it is necessary to learn and master this method. Imagine the abdomen as a balloon; it expands when inhaling and deflates when exhaling. Once this method is mastered, practice this as much as possible, especially when temporarily stopping masturbation or stimulation from a partner. This deep breathing training can also be incorporated into sexual activity, but it requires a habit and adaptation process, as it involves going against one's subjective will. The more aroused a man is, the more likely he is to ejaculate prematurely; his breathing becomes shallow, and his heart races. You can also imagine the air you inhale descending into your pelvic cavity, relaxing the muscles in that area; the more relaxed they are, the harder it is to ejaculate.

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