A truly remarkable woman worth reminiscing about.

I wrote an article yesterday in a rush, and afterwards I realized there were many things I hadn't expressed, so I decided to revise it.
We've been married for eight years, and for the past six months I've felt that our sex life has become too dull and boring. I've discussed this issue with my wife, who is a rather traditional woman and doesn't have a high sex drive, especially after having two children. She rarely initiates sex, maybe only once or twice a year. My wife told me that she seems to have a drop in estrogen, which makes her less interested in sex. This might be related to the fact that she has to take care of the children after work, so she doesn't have much energy to think about these things. My wife and I have sex an average of 2-4 times a month. Only the first time after her period is she willing to engage; the rest of the time, it's just her going through the motions to get me to ejaculate. Also, for men our age, it seems difficult to give her sustained orgasm in terms of hardness and stamina. (My wife doesn't really like sex toys; she finds them stiff and unstimulating, unlike my penis. Occasionally, I'll tease her by asking if she wants another penis to fuck her, but she almost always refuses. She'll occasionally shyly call me "daddy," and at my request, she'll say a few things about wanting me to fuck her, but very rarely. So, there are still some romantic moments. I once asked her if she didn't have any needs, and if I could find someone else to satisfy her, but of course, she refused.) Our sex usually lasts only 5-10 minutes, and sometimes I get soft after a while. So, my wife is gradually losing interest in sex, and sometimes she wants a bigger penis to serve her. I asked her about it once, but she refused. Instead, I masturbate 2-3 times a month. Sometimes I joke with my wife, saying that having her is basically the same as not having her, so why do I masturbate? I feel that sex is divided into physiological and psychological needs. With my wife, only the physiological needs are met, just the few seconds of pleasure after ejaculation. But I always feel very empty psychologically. I personally think that psychological satisfaction includes many things, such as oral sex, blowjobs, swallowing semen, masturbation, foot fetish, threesomes, outdoor sex, and going commando. There are many kinds of pleasure that can shock the eyes and mind. 90% of these are things that are hard to do with my wife, and she can't satisfy my desires. So I watch porn and masturbate. Gradually, I started fantasizing about certain things and certain women. That's how I gradually remembered a woman who I felt was very compatible with sexually, and she is still the woman I fantasize about when I masturbate.
Lately, I've been really missing this woman I used to sleep with. We met through an online game in early 2004. At the time, she was married to a college classmate, and they worked at the same company after graduation. They had been together for six years without getting married. I also had a girlfriend at the time, and we had been dating for two years. Around that time, my passion for her faded. I don't know if it was because I was young and wanted to try new things or what. My girlfriend at the time was very good to me, loved me, and depended on me. She would also fulfill all my sexual desires (watching porn together, back then it was still DVDs, oral sex, blowjobs, masturbation, outdoor sex, she would even ride on top of me in my sleep, that feeling was wonderful, but back then there was no concept of sex or group sex). The only time was when her best friend and her boyfriend's rental agreement expired, and they stayed at my place for one night. The lights were off, and there were two beds in the room. Both of us couples only had sex in bed, nothing more. At the time, I really wanted to have a one-night stand; it was almost a desire, a kind of obsession. We met through a game, and gradually progressed to chatting on QQ and calling each other. Later, we talked for 3-4 hours almost every day, always having endless topics to discuss, like a couple deeply in love. A phone call could last from night until dawn. We could talk about anything on the phone. Although we hadn't known each other for long, we felt very close, like old friends. I asked her out, but she always refused because we both knew that if we met, we would definitely have sex. We could talk about masturbating on the phone while she masturbated on mine, and she would describe our sex scenes on the phone. We could talk about it simultaneously. After reaching her climax, she told me she was getting married to her husband on October 1st. After much coaxing, we met. At the time, she and her husband weren't living together; they were each staying at their parents' homes, and their wedding house was under renovation. We partied at a bar until the early hours, walking from near Hope Square all the way to People's Square, where we sat for a long time, kissing, kissing, and more kissing. Afterwards, she took me home and then went home herself. We agreed to meet at my place the next night. The next night, we naturally had sex. After a brief kiss, when I touched her genitals, she was already very wet—so much so that it was easy to penetrate her. During penetration, we could hear squelching sounds. She was very good at moaning, and her voice was beautiful. I'm the kind of person who gets more aroused the more aroused a woman is, the more passionate I become. So, our first time together lasted about the same amount of time. It lasted about an hour (I think that was one of the years when I was at my peak physical condition, and I also met her, who had a particularly high sex drive). She orgasmed three times, completely exhausted, and the sheets were soaked. Her breasts were large, almost too big to hold in one hand. I loved hugging her from behind and touching her breasts. At the time, my girlfriend would occasionally stay overnight at my place, so I had a lot of freedom. I felt a little guilty, like I was betraying my girlfriend, but the thrill and pleasure of the affair far outweighed any ethical or moral considerations, allowing me to satisfy my cravings time and time again. During that period, I would have my girlfriend stay at my place during the day and then coax her home at night, occasionally letting her stay at my place for a few nights. I juggled between the two of them like that. Looking back, I must have been incredibly physically fit back then, able to be with two women simultaneously day and night without feeling tired... She had large breasts with rose tattoos on them, was skilled at oral sex, very wet, and had loud moans. She was quite seductive, and when aroused, she would actively beg me to have sex with her, including her anus. She would masturbate and ride on my back, using her breasts to stimulate me, but without lubricant or oil. She was the kind of woman who truly understood men, knowing what they liked and what they needed in bed, and she would proactively fulfill those desires. I feel that women like this are extremely rare. She was the kind of woman who dared to express her thoughts, knew how to please men, or rather, knew how to arouse their desires. We were together for about six months, having sex wildly throughout the summer. She was behind her husband's back, and I was behind my wife's. She would suggest many positions, and if she didn't like... I enjoyed the same position, and every time we had sex, it felt incredibly satisfying, a complete and uninhibited release. (She's three years older than me. Her husband usually finished in a few minutes, probably like my current wife and I. He said it didn't satisfy her. Back then, I could last over 30 minutes with her, and she'd usually have one or two orgasms. Sometimes she'd say she felt like she was going to pee, and she'd push me away. Thinking back, that probably meant she was about to squirt, but I didn't know anything about that back then. I just completely dominated her. We rarely had those kinds of toys back then, but I did have a red, sexy, open-crotch lingerie pair that a friend had given me, which she planned to wear to her husband on our wedding night. She even showed it to me beforehand.) Her oral skills were exceptional; she would always make me ejaculate into her mouth, which she would swallow and then continue licking, sometimes giving me a spasmodic, convulsive feeling. Then she would sit on top of me, giving me that stimulating urge to urinate—a feeling no other woman has ever given me (in recent years, I've watched Japanese adult films where men actually urinate after being masturbated). Her vagina was very suctioning; every time I thrust in and out, it felt like her vagina was sucking me in with a small mouth. She would stay with me 2-3 days a week. Even a month before her wedding, her husband discovered our relationship, but he still decided to marry her (looking back, perhaps her husband truly loved her, loved her deeply, and was very tolerant of her). I felt a little guilty towards her husband. We stayed in their marital home every night for a week before her wedding. During that week, she even asked me to ejaculate inside her. Before the wedding, she got pregnant with my child and wanted to have a baby with me. She cried and asked me why I didn't want her. She said that as long as I said I wanted her, she would immediately not get married and be with me (but at that time, I was just a poor guy from out of town with no stable income. I couldn't give her anything, and could we only maintain our relationship through sex). After the wedding, I continued to contact her for six months. During this time, my girlfriend found out, and we broke up. My girlfriend forgave me, but I still had an on-and-off relationship with her, indulging in the pleasure of cheating and the pleasure of having sex with her. For the first six months after we got married, she always made excuses not to go to work, staying home during the day waiting for me to come and continue our passionate sex. Later, I suddenly felt a pang of conscience, feeling incredibly guilty towards her husband—really, incredibly guilty. So I told her my thoughts and cruelly cut off all contact with her. A year later, I happened to see her and her husband strolling around. She was about seven or eight months pregnant then. I watched her from afar, and she looked at me too, we just passed each other. Later, I learned from her colleagues that she had given birth to a daughter. I wish her happiness. Sometimes I think about it... If she really had gotten pregnant with my child back then, what would the outcome be now? Lately, I don't know why, I often think about her. Although it's been 14 years since 2006, and things have probably changed drastically, my longing for her has been incredibly strong lately. I've been going through my QQ, QQ Space, Renren, and even dating websites, trying to find a way to contact her, but I can't find anything. However, I know where she works. I've been back to Dalian three times since then, and I've thought about going to see her, trying to recapture that feeling, but I can't bear to disturb her life again. All the women I've slept with in my life combined don't compare to her. After leaving her, I was obsessed with finding married women for a while, sleeping with 3-4 of them, but I could never find that feeling again with her. I haven't touched any woman other than my wife since we got married, not even flirting with her. My wife chose to be with me when I had nothing, and I've been determined to stay with this family and haven't flirted with any other woman. But given this emptiness I feel right now, I really don't know how much longer I can keep going.

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A truly remarkable woman worth reminiscing about.

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