In adult marriages, sex and affection are not important; what matters is kindness.

Two people who once loved each other entered into marriage, had children, and then one day their feelings suddenly faded, or even one of them developed feelings for someone else. At this point, the most powerful weapon you might think of is attacking the other person for being immoral, using known secrets about them to attack them.
But don't forget, that person is also the child's father or mother. When you attack your partner, you are actually attacking your child's family.
Unless it's a truly hateful marital relationship, as long as there are children involved, it's difficult to guarantee that you'll never have anything to do with your partner again.
When dealing with marital and emotional issues, kindness is truly more important than love. Because if you have even a little kindness, you'll know that you can't completely control your partner's emotional problems.
Even if they have feelings for someone else, you can only observe the foundation of your relationship, try to repair it if it can continue, and discuss how to separate if it can't. This will likely have a much smaller impact on the children. If you attack your partner without restraint, it will only bring more negative impacts to the children. Kindness is an act of not harming others and actively helping others, while goodwill is a cultivated quality rooted in your heart that avoids making things difficult for others.
Human desires are inherently gray. Marriage is also inherently gray. If you expect human desires and marriage to be perfectly pure, I'm sorry, but this will only bring you more trouble. You'd be better off trying to understand human desires with kindness.
My wife started chatting with another man late into the night, discussing everything under the sun. After a few deep conversations, I noticed the man was developing an ambiguous relationship, always wanting her body, with other intentions and needs. Initially, my wife was confused. I said, "A man chats with you late at night without any ulterior motives. He's not a saint. If you call him a scumbag because of this, then 99% of men in the world are scumbags, and the other 1% are impotent.
Can you women stop being so naive? Don't always assume a man is a scumbag just because he has some sexual desire." Isn't sex the most attractive part of a relationship? If a man chats with you late every night without any ulterior motives, it only proves two things:
one, he's impotent; two, you're so ugly that he doesn't even have the desire to make a move on you. Do you want to be so ugly that men have no desire for you?
If you understand male sex and desire, and understand that the inherent sexual attraction between men and women is a significant part of the relationship, you will be able to view this kind of interaction with kindness and objectivity. If you can accept it, then accept it; if you can't, then naturally maintain boundaries and let it fade naturally. You can't call someone a scumbag or a bad person just because they have such intentions.
I think if there were no sexual attraction, who would chat with you and help you out for no reason? At least sex is the biggest motivation.
There are all kinds of people in this world: smart, restless, domineering, kind-hearted, knowledgeable, etc., but overall, I still prefer people with some kindness. This kindness doesn't mean forgiving someone without principles, nor does it mean not getting angry or upset when faced with others' malice. It means understanding human weakness and limitations, not being harsh, hysterical, or extreme, and not making things a life-or-death situation.
This is especially true in relationships. The more you loved someone, the more you might hate them in the end; the more you gave, the greater the hurt you might suffer; the more beautiful memories you had, the more profound the sorrow you might feel; the more you cared about someone, the more you might want to destroy them. Marriage and extramarital affairs are inherently intertwined and tormenting between men and women, filled with love, hate, and resentment.
Love can be a weakness or armor; it can be sweet or poisonous; it can be tender and passionate or filled with violence. Many entanglements in marriage and extramarital relationships stem from inner greed—wanting more from oneself than the other can provide.
For example, many women's pain in extramarital affairs lies in their deep desire for genuine love from their husbands, only to discover that the man's sexual needs outweigh his love, leading to hatred. This hatred arises from a misunderstanding of men's understanding of sex and their inherent weaknesses.
Generally speaking, men's sexual desires are indeed greater than their desire for love. Especially in extramarital affairs, if you don't clearly understand this relationship, it will breed hatred, leaving you trapped in pain and self-torture. The most important aspect of goodwill is understanding. Understanding the difficulties and circumstances of others. Understanding their vulnerability. Understanding the differences between marriages with and without children, understanding the choices someone makes after being hurt. Understanding the environments and reasons that lead to extramarital affairs. Those who say "separate if there's no love" and "don't have affairs" clearly don't understand the ties children place in a marriage; those who say "stay together if there's love" certainly don't understand the helplessness and pain of love between adults; those who say "divorce if a man has an affair" certainly don't understand the hardships and difficulties of raising children and the many helplessness within marriage.
Goodwill is more important than love because love can disappear or hurt both parties, but goodwill can maintain basic dignity for both.
How important is basic dignity in relationships? We've seen too many stories of relationships ending in mutual destruction. In such attacks, you won't see a trace of goodwill; it only plunges both parties into deeper hatred.

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In adult marriages, sex and affection are not important; what matters is kindness.

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